Morning Dew
by Outta-Ak'sHead
Summary: Morning Dew represents the taste of a new beginning, but do they always start off sweet? Unstable feelings circle Jacob and Leah. How will they affect, not only them, but others as well? For better or for worse?
1. So far, So good?

**Jacob Black**

It was 6 in the morning; I just couldn't sleep so I just laid on my bed, daydreaming. In another hour or so, I would be heading towards the Cullen's house. I have been going there for few past years so the vampires have gotten used to me. Yeah, I know; I gained a sudden respect to them, not because I have too…. Okay, maybe that's the reason.

After the whole drama with the Volturi-vampire clan (whatever) happened, things have been going well; A bit boring but well. I put my hands behind my head as I felt the morning wind from the half-opened window, brush against my bare chest. I quite enjoyed going to the Cullen's place, that I know pretty much know all of their names. Pixie Alice is quite entertaining; nice but annoying. She's been hanging out with me when Nessie was conceived.

A smile grew on my face as I thought about Nessie. Oh Nessie…_My_ Nessie. I don't mean it as in she belonged to me; like she was my possession or something; It's just that I care about her a lot, I feel like I was destined to protect her; I love her.

_BUT!_ I'm not in love with her; that's something Bella took a while to understand. I don't think she still was able to grasp the point of her 'so-called' best friend imprinted on her child. I mean it isn't that bad; I scratched my head… Okay maybe it is a bit weird but it doesn't mean anything romantic; that's just disgusting. It's not like I love Nessie, the way I loved Bella.

_Bella_. Nowadays, we aren't as close friends as we were before; when she would come over to my house and hang out in my garage. I loved watching her try to help or when she used to laugh at my jokes and when she smiled to avoid embarrassing herself about her clumsiness; she had the most beautiful smile and laugh. Even though she hasn't changed much appearance wise except her eyes change color, she's even paler, she has a 'shield power' and she's a vampire. But still, we do speak and hang out but….nothing great.

Sam was getting pretty okay with the fact of me, having a separate pack even though he did try several ways to get us back and I had to do a lot of talking; the treaty is still there so Sam's pack takes care of La Push while I look after the Cullens but still protect La Push.

_Ring!_ My alarm rang. I leaned over and hit the off button. I got up and stretched my arms and rubbed my eyes. When my eyes were finally open, I could see what a mess my room was. Books everywhere, clothes flung about, small oil stains on the floor…I don't want to talk about it. I avoid the obstacles as I walked towards the window; I pulled it fully up and glanced at the beach. The water sparkled as it crashed against shore. I brought my head inside and lifted a shirt with my foot and wore it; Billy has been nagging me to clean up my room…oh well. I searched for my sneakers and then ran downstairs. Billy was sitting in the kitchen, preparing food.

"Hey dad. I'm leaving to the Cullens. Don't wait up" I said as I grabbed my car keys and headed for the door.

"Jacob wait! What about breakfast?" Billy asked before I went out. I rubbed my head.

"Hmm…No thanks, Dad. There's probably some food at the Cullens" I answered and went through the door way, closing the door behind me. I got into the Rabbit and backed out of my garage and headed down road. Okay, I did feel pretty bad leaving Billy like that but…I don't know. Maybe this imprinting hasn't been the best on some people but it's not like I can control it; He should know.

_Thump!_ I heard. It was as if someone hit my car cause it came from outside. I pulled the car to a stop and opened the passenger seat door. There was Seth, beaming like he always did, with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey Jake! Heading towards Cullens?" Seth asked.

"As usual. Haven't seen you in a while though" I answered. He smiled and put his hands behind his head.

"Well been out for a while. Mind if we come with you?" Seth asked, my 'permission'; I smiled.

"We?" I asked. He gestured behind him and then I saw Leah, flipping her hair from her face as she walked towards us. She looked the same except her hair had grown longer and she seemed to be in a happy mood; something new.

"Hey Jake. Give us a ride?" Leah asked when she reached the car. She put her hands in her shorts' pockets.

"Well, Seth is always willing to come to their house but why do you want to come, Leah?" I wondered. Leah still wasn't that comfortable with the Cullens; she would come, rarely but she would just sit there, quietly.

She smiled. "Well, I have to keep an eye on Seth" she gestured at him as he rolled his eyes. "…and also I have nothing else better to do so why not hang out with the pack?" she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, but why come to the Cullen's place? You're still not to fully fond of them" I said. It's true.

"Well, the Cullens are sometimes entertaining, they have food and with enemies like them, who needs friends?" Leah exclaimed. I let out a small chuckle.

"Fine, but no funny stuff" I let them in. Leah got into the front passenger seat while Seth sat at the back and I started the engine and headed down the road again. Leah placed her feet against the dashboard and turned on the radio. I looked at her and then where her feet were. Okay, I know it's a car but still, treat it with some respect.

"I can't wait to see everyone" Seth began to speak. "I bet Nessie has grown. You know, she's pretty strong for a 4 years old!" Seth exclaimed.

"Ha-ha…she has grown, stronger and smarter" I laughed and glanced at Leah, snapping her fingers to the music, with her feet still on the dashboard.

"Leah, would you take your feet off the dashboard now?" I asked her in a formal tone.

"Why?" she looked at me.

"Because it's my car and the Alpha says so." A smile came on my face. I saw her roll her eyes and then grin. After a minute, from the corner of my eye, I saw her drop her legs, cross her arms against her body and snuggle against the seat, closing her eyes; Ah, the power of the Alpha.

* * *

On our way there, Leah had dozed off and the whole time, all I could hear was Seth, talking about the Cullens and Nessie: it was a bit annoying but I just smiled and tried to tune it out. I then saw Leah's head, slowly slipping off her seat so I assisted her and slowly pushed her head against the window, to lean.

When we reached Cullen's residence's grounds, I could see from the window, all the Cullens except Dr. Cullen, outside and they looked like they were cheering. I saw Emmet and Bella having another arm wrestling match on a huge rock while the others cheered; I guess Emmett was changeling Bella's strength since she's not a newborn vampire anymore. I smiled when I saw Bella trying to put her full strength on her arm. Then I spotted Nessie, standing in front of Blondie (I like to annoy her by calling her that), clapping. She looked so cute (child cute, that is); I couldn't believe she was only 4. She looked 10 years old and she was starting to look like her mother; the same eyes, smile, cheeks but she had her dad's brains, I should say so.

I came to a stop in front of their house and continued to see the fight; then suddenly, out of nowhere, Bella flips Emmett about 2 feet away from her and the rock breaks into half.

"Woah! Did you see that?" Seth screamed. That was impressive; I nodded.

"Leah, wake up, wake up! You missed it" Seth yelled as he shook Leah's shoulders.

"Leave me alone, you pipsqueak!" Leah yelled. She groaned and slowly opened her eyes; her eyelashes fluttered.

"We're here. Had a good sleep?" I asked her. She looked at me with her sleepy eyes and sat up straight.

"Would have been better if you'd let me keep my feet up" Leah said as she rubbed her eyes.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Happy to be of service" I smiled. She let out a sarcastic laugh and got out of the car; so did I.

"Leah! You missed it! Bella and Emmett were arm wrestling and Bella flipped Emmet!" Seth exclaimed.

"Wow. Bummer for me" Leah rolled her eyes. I shot her a 'be nice' look and Leah threw her hands in the air and stretched.

"Don't worry, baby. Maybe next time" I heard Rosalie (yes, I called her Rosalie) comforting Emmett. We started to walk towards them.

"Aw…did we miss a fight?" I yelled and they turned around. Nessie was beaming in Bella's arms as she yelled "Jake!"

I opened my arms wide and took a few steps forward. Nessie wiggled herself down from her mom's grasp and ran towards me, which looked like she was skipping. I knelt down as she crashed into me and hugged my neck (she wasn't a toddler anymore, physically but she was just below Bella's height which was short). I got up and carried her in my arms.

"How's my girl?" I asked her.

"Fine" she answered and laughed.

When I glanced at Bella, she didn't seem too thrilled to see me; I don't know why. If it weren't for Nessie trying to come to me, I don't think Bella would have let her. I decided to say 'hello' to her. I let Nessie down and walked towards Bella.

"Hey Bella, how've you been?" I asked. Her cold, pale face turned to me.

"Hey Jacob, Fine I guess" she said in a boring tone.

"Good" I smiled. I decided to show her I'm still her friend by giving her a hug. She didn't reply too well to that.

"Jake…let go before I rip your arms" Bella snarled.

"Woah! What's with the mean attitude?" I questioned.

"Nothing…it's just that you stink" she exclaimed.

I let her go but held on to her shoulders. "Well, you don't smell like a bed of roses either, Bella and you don't see my complaining." I started to get annoyed and let her go. If she won't tell me what's wrong, then there's no use helping her.

Alice took us in for food; the food display was huge. Esme sure does know what we like. Me and Seth pigged out as the other Cullens sat in the living room; Esme cleaned up the dishes and Leah sat next to me and sneered "Pig" as she picked up a piece of bacon with her fork.

"Chill Lee, here have some whipped cream." I sprayed some on my finger and put it on her nose. She glared at me but I couldn't help laughing.

"Very funny" she sneered and wiped the whipped cream off.

* * *

After we stuffed ourselves, we headed for the living room where the Cullens were; I sat right in the middle of the sofa while Seth sat to the right of me and Leah sat at the edge of the left corner of the sofa. I placed Nessie on my lap and teased her, playfully (she was really light and plus, she was still technically 4 years old). Seth and I talked and talked and then, Alice decided to join in while the others sat back and tried to listen. Nessie rocked back and forth on my lap and it felt comforting; I heard her yawn. _So cute_.

The next thing I knew was that Bella's arms were around Nessie and were slowly lifting her up; and like a reflex action, I grabbed Bella's wrist and she glared at me.

"What you're doing?" I asked in a curious tone.

"I have the right to take my child" She snarled. Everyone went silent and looked at us; even Leah, who was looking away, trying not to be part of the conversations, head snapped around and looked at Bella.

"Where?" I wondered. Suddenly after a second of silence, Bella grabbed Nessie quickly and stepped away. Her eyes darkened as she brought Nessie closer to her, wrapping her arms around her, protectively; I got up and looked at Bella in a bizarre way. Nessie stood, stuck onto to her mother, almost afraid.

"Bella, what was that all about?" I asked. Everything was tense; all I could hear was Bella's low snarl.

"She is my child; you have no right to tell me what to do with her! If I want to put her to bed, I can put her to bed" she yelled. That's all? That's why she took Nessie?

"Oh, that was it? You could have told me" I explained. She slowly loosened her grip around Nessie and gave her hand to Rosalie; Nessie looked a bit worried.

"Tell you? I don't need to ask you permission to take my own child!" Bella yelled. I felt Leah and Seth get up and stand behind me, looking as confused as I was.

"Bella, calm down" Edward said in a calm tone.

"What's wrong with this leech?" Leah whispered, but I didn't answer. I just looked at Bella's dark eyes.

"You always are with her; everyday. But she's my child. I have to be with her; I love her and I care about her too, you know" Bella started to shout. What? What is all this rubbish she's talking about?

"Bella, I know you're the mother and you love her but there are others who love her too. Can't you share?" I asked trying to keep a calm tone. Her eyes grew wide which looked really weird.

"Share? She's not a possession that you can borrow or lend or share!" She yelled taking a step forward. This almost feels like déjà vu but why is she acting like this?

"Bella, you know I didn't mean it that way" I said clearly. She just stood there, snarling for a reason that I didn't understand.

"Oh so now, it's my fault?" she said. I saw Rosalie take Nessie away; I wanted to stay with her but I knew I couldn't leave.

"Jacob, I can't do this. I thought I was okay with the imprinting thing but I'm not" Bella said in a husky tone. After this long, she still can't accept it? Why not?

"What?" I asked. Edward walked towards her but she stuck her hand out to stop him.

"I don't want you to see her anymore. I want you to forget this imprint" she hissed. _I thought she understood my situation!_

"What? You know I can't do that. You know that imprinting is something I can't control" I was getting a bit annoyed. I heard a small snarl from behind me.

"Well, start trying!" She snarled. Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

"Bella, you know how ridiculous you being? You know what it's like for me and yet you're making it worse!" I started to yell back. I couldn't hold it; why wouldn't she understand?

"Just thinking of you being in love with my daughter, makes me sick! Just stay away from her" Bella shouts back. It was like a shouting contest as our shouts started to get louder.

"I'm not in love with Nessie! I care about her and I want to protect!" I tried to convince her.

"She needs me too" I exclaimed.

"She doesn't need you! We are here to protect her… run away and forget her while you still can!" Bella growled. _God! She's so stubborn_.

"Stop being paranoid, Bella! I'm not going to leave!" I said. She lowered her eyes at me and stiffened.

"Then I'll just have to make" She said under her breathe.

Out of nowhere, I see her running towards me, reaching for my throat again; I didn't have time to defend myself. Then suddenly I feel a gust of wind, and a grunt and my eyes flew open to see… Bella on the ground in her hunting crouch position and she looked like she'd lost her balance and then in front of me, I saw long black hair flying like crazy as she unclenched and clenched her fists; Leah.

* * *

**Hey guys. This is my first attempt on a Twilight Fanfic. I had actually written this a year ago but I kind of changed some stuff and yeah. There will be more since I kind of made this Fanfiction more like a "5****th**** installment" to the Twilight Sagas which it isn't. Since it's a bit partial to Blackwater (LOOOOOVE) and kind of anti-Bella ish. So it practically stands by itself =P**

**Yes I'm crazy but well, I guess the Twilight sagas belong to Stephenie Meyer. ): But a girl can dream xP**

**I was one of those people who thought that Jacob should have ended with Leah and really REALLY hoped for it. But it didn't happen =/ oh well. But there is Fanfiction for that =L**

**Anyways, I hoped you liked this chapter and the other chapters ahead.**

**Reviews are cool =)**


	2. Uncontrollable

**Leah Clearwater**

Okay, that's it! I snapped. After Bella's so called refusal-to-Jacob's-imprinting speech, she had the bloody guts to try and attack him AGAIN? For something that isn't even his fault? What a bitch!

When I saw her, running towards Jacob, I knew that she would try to reach for his throat again so I acted fast. None of the bloody leeches did anything to stop her! I was furious; how could she do that to a person she calls her best friend? Just because she's a bloody leech doesn't give her the advantage to pouch on every fucking living thing! I knew Jacob wouldn't be expecting it, again and wasn't ready to defend himself so I came in front of him, and whacked that bloody leech back.

She was just there, crouched down, unaware of what had just happened. All the Cullens looked at me and I heard Seth gasp. I didn't care what they would say; I was mad. All I wanted to do was see her die. My eyes were closed, my mouth and fists were clenched; my body started to shake.

"How dare you…" I snarled and my eyes flew open and glared at Bella, who was slowly getting up with a confused look. The blow probably took her by surprise; _serves her right!_

"I-I wasn't coming for you" she replied. My eyes darkened.

" No, you weren't coming for me. You were about to attack your so-called best friend!" I started to yell.

"But-but I was mad, I couldn't- If Jake hadn't got me mad-" Bella stuttered. _Jake got her mad? About what?_

"None of this was Jake's fault! It was all you!" I shouted. I felt Jacob's eyes fall on me. He was probably surprised at my defense but I knew how this feels for him; my fists kept clenching and unclenching.

"Of course it was" she argued back. My eyes widened and looked at her like daggers.

"NO IT ISN'T! When are you going to get it into your thick leech skull? He's not in love with Renesmee! He just cares a great deal about her! Of all people, he had to trust you and told you about imprinting and yet you can't accept him for who he is!" I yelled back. _Why did he have to trust her? _Fucking leech; even more annoying when she was human.

"Leah, that's not-" I heard Jacob trying to defend her. That got me even madder. Why was he defending her after all she's put him through?

"Shut up, Jacob! Let me speak. You keep explaining her in a normal and sweet way. Well, has that helped? I don't think so. Now's it's my turn" I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jacob, with a hurt look. How cruel could she be? Even for a leech?

"You wonder why Jacob never hurt you, because he loved you; he cared about you. I accepted it thinking, even though she's a leech lover, maybe there is something in there that is special. And thank god, that thing was Nessie because clearly I don't know what he saw in you!" I sneered. I saw her face expression change, from mad to in pain; good. I knew her leech, Edward I think, could hear what I'm thinking but I didn't care; because I knew she deserved it.

"Humph, pathetic, to attack someone who only wants to see you happy, even for what you are" I snarled and took two steps forward. She was looking down, still had the same painful look; _I'm loving it_. I heard Edward snarl after I knew he heard my thought.

"The first time you were about to attack Jacob, Seth came in the way. I was furious but I didn't do anything knowing that Jacob wouldn't like it and also I felt sympathy towards you. _Can you believe it?_ I felt sympathy towards _you_ because I knew, it would come to a shock to you about the imprinting; what an idiot I was" I glared at her as she continued to look down. "I thought maybe, maybe you might not do it again, knowing the situation…" I continued. I started to feel anger, suddenly hit me; my body stiffened and my teeth clenched.

"But how wrong was I? You pulled the same stunt again and I couldn't watch you attack him. What if Seth jumped in the way? What if you had killed your own so-called brother? And saying the reason of your attack, was Jacob; I am not gonna take it anymore. I will kill you… RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" I yelled and went into attack position. I think it's the best for all of us if it ended here. Bella was defenseless and I was empowering her; like a lion attacking a deer.

Before I could run towards Bella, Edward stepped in front of her and yelled "Jacob, Grab Leah, NOW!"

I took a step forward before I felt Jacob, get a grip of my wrists and pulled me back, making my back, slam against her chest. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist, binding my arms against my body; I tried to break free from his hold, but he was too strong. I snapped my teeth at Bella's direction; I wasn't gonna let her get away. My eyes were focused on Bella; I growled and huffed, unable to get closer to her.

"Jacob, Get her out of here, NOW" Bella's leech, Edward snarled at Jacob, still protecting Bella because she still was helpless; Ha. I felt Jacob give a small nod and then, lift me off the floor and head slowly towards the door; Seth walked beside him, still in a state of shock. I twisted and turned in Jacob's arms, screaming "I'll kill her! That Leech! I'll kill her."

I didn't stop snapping even when we were outside; I think I scratched Jake a couple of times but he ignored until we reached the middle of the forest, and by then I calmed down but I was still growling.

"Seth, could you leave us alone? I need to talk to Leah, privately!" Jacob instructed Seth. Seth looked at my dark eyes, and hesitated, but then I felt Jacob's glare at him; he gave one nod, he disappeared behind the trees and I heard he change into his wolf and run off. I felt Jacob, slowly loosen his grasp and set me down. When my feet touched the floor, anger again appeared and I quickly turned and tried to head again for Cullens house, but I slammed against Jacob's body and couldn't budge; he probably knew I would try to head back again.

"Leah, Stop!" Jacob said in a low voice. I still tried to push past him but he wasn't letting me; my eyes were darted at the direction where Cullen's house was. Then suddenly, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to face him; I looked at his dark eyes.

"Leah! I am Alpha! You have to listen to me! What is wrong with you?" Jacob started to yell. Why is he yelling at me?

"I'm sorry, All-Great Alpha but there are some orders I don't follow" I snarled as I pushed his hands away from my shoulders, and looked at him.

"When you joined this pack, you promised to obey me. Now listen, we have nothing against the Cullens!" he explained.

"No, we don't have anything against the Cullens, but we have something against Bella!" I replied.

"I have nothing against Bella and neither does Seth. It's only you!" Jacob pointed at me. Why is he doing this? Just now, she was about to attack him!

"Oh come on, Jacob! That girl tortured you, for so long! Not literally but inside; I can see it in your eyes. How can you still defend her?" I stated because I clearly couldn't understand that. Jacob looked to the ground; it hurt a bit to see him like that.

"Bella had nothing to do with it; It was all me. I held on to her; I kept going after her and promised to be with her; It was all me!" Jacob replied. My eyes started to soften as I walked towards him; he continued to look down.

"Ya, you did go after her, because you loved her and cared about her, and she knew how you felt and she STILL put you through all of this! She just ignored you like you were no one" I tried to look at him.

"That's not true" he kept denying, kicking his foot. I placed my hand underneath his chin and lifted his head up; but his eyes were still down.

"Stop denying it" I was getting a bit paranoid. "Jacob, I know you too well; I can see what goes on in your mind and I've been there before. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? She was never worth it, then why do you keep tormenting yourself?" My hand dropped and he looked away.

"Leah, there are some stuff you can't change" He said in a bit of a frustration tone.

"I know. We all wish we could change some things, but we can't deny what we know, Jacob. You can still change your course so that it doesn't end badly!" I shrugged.

"Leah, will you please stop—" He begged.

"I just want you to go and stand up to her, saying that you won't take any of her shit, no more! You used to be like that; what happened? It's like she's your boss; she's controlling you" I exclaimed. He finally looked at me, with those 'confused' eyes.

"What are you trying to say?" he asked.

"I'm trying to say, it's time for you to say something; to not let her control you, otherwise it would be for the worst. And the worst has come, Jake; she's taking Nessie away from you! And are just gonna let her do that?" I snarled. I saw Jacob clench his jaw and fists; I knew he would do anything for Nessie. Maybe he was starting to see what I was trying to tell him.

"No" he whispered.

"Jacob, I don't want to see you hurt" I said.

"No!" Jacob's voice started to rise. He sounded irritated and mad; I got a bit worried.

"Jacob? Listen to me" I tried to call him.

"NO!" He yelled. I really didn't expect what happened next. I saw Jacob lift his hand, and then I felt a sudden blow against my cheek which made me lose my balance and fall to the forest ground. I gasped for air and I wondered what that was for?

"Shut up, LEAH! God! Why can't you just listen?" I heard Jacob snarl between his teeth. My eyes widened; he actually did slap me. I placed my hand on my numb cheek as I slowly turned to face him. It was scary the way he looked; his fists were clenched and his eyes were really big.

"I'm ALPHA! We have nothing against Bella! You got that? And the fact that you used Nessie as an excuse for me to get mad at Bella is just pathetic!" He yelled as he pointed to me. I slowly scrabbled up on my feet, still holding cheek; it started to burn.

"Jacob, I-I was just saying- I was just trying to—" I stuttered, slowly dropping my hand down.

"To what? Help? When have you ever helped? You tried to turn me against people I care about. Just because you couldn't have Sam, doesn't mean you can just come here, and ruin the relationships I have!" Jacob yelled.

"I-I'm not trying to ruin anything" I tried to defend myself.

"Well, then I guess you kind of have a knack for it, don't you?" Jacob huffed. My eyes started to water but it didn't fall. "I thought you were different, and you knew what I was going through but no! I guess some people don't change. You just keep making it worse!"

"You don't know how hard it was for me to accept you in this pack! Now I gravely regret it!" Jacob snarled.

"No wonder SAM DIDN'T IMPRINT ON YOU! Thank god he didn't, because frankly, I would have felt bad for the guy!" He shouted straight at me. My eyes widened; a sudden pain pierced through me. I felt like I cracked when he threw those words at me; I could have fallen but I tried to stay up.

"W-Wh-wh-aat? I thought you-" The pain was increasing; it started to feel a little anger as well "Then what I am doing here?" The pain showed in my voice but Jacob didn't care. "Why am I here if no one needs me?" I asked.

He smirked. "That's a question, I have been asking myself for a long time!" He answered. That was it; I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down my numb cheek. I couldn't believe; to think I found a place where I belonged and…

"Fine! You will never see me or have anything to do with me, ever. No one will!' I eyes flew open and I stormed away from Cullen's house.

"Good for us!" I heard Jacob yell and I started to gain speed; I was running. I just kept running; I didn't look back and I didn't care. I felt irritated for some reason; irritated at the fact, that I was just trying to help and this happens. Fuck Jacob! I was trying to help him to stand up so he won't be miserable! I felt tears, streaming down my cheeks, as I kept on running. I didn't feel tired at all, thanks to cross-country training in high school.

I wiped my cheeks off the excess tears but they kept on pouring. Why? The pain started to spread through my whole body; just hearing Jacob's voice in my head. _Help? When have you ever helped? You tried to turn me against people I care about! _Why would he think that? I didn't want him to see him like that, all depressed. I finally reached the open and saw La Push Beach. I continued to run towards home still thinking about Jacob's words. _I thought you were different, and you knew what I was going through but no! I guess some people don't change. You just keep making it worse! _Oh my god…I thought he knew who I really was. Of all people!

"Why do those La Push residents jump off this cliff? Are they suicidal?" I heard a girl ask her boyfriend as I run past the cliff.

"No, they cliff dive. It's a pass time apparently" he answered.

"That's weird. Can we try?" she asked him.

"No, I think it's too dangerous. Anyway, there's a storm coming and if we do this, we will die" he replied. I saw them laugh and walk the other direction. I kept running and finally I saw my house.

* * *

I busted in, not caring how mom or Seth would react with tears running down my eyes, but they weren't even there. Mom was probably still at work and Seth must be with the pack but I felt like it was better for them, not to see me like this. I started to quietly sob and struggle to get myself to the kitchen basin. I placed my hands on the side of the basin and took few breaths before I felt tears roll my cheeks again. How could this happen to me? I need to pull myself together! But I started to wonder, what if, what Jacob said was true? That I'm no help and I'm just making things worse; I saw a teardrop fall into the basin.

_No wonder SAM DIDN'T IMPRINT ON YOU! _Jacob's voice rang in my head. He was right! I am worthless… a good for nothing! That's why Sam didn't imprint on me… he deserved someone better. I knew it but somehow, it hurt even more coming from Jacob. Jacob…tears started to pour more. I thought he'd understand, I thought we both understood each other. I thought finally there was someone who can understand me because they've been in that situation too; I thought Jacob and I had a special bond. But just remembering how he looked, I don't think he cared. Maybe he was just doing this because… because he's alpha. Oh my god…I looked up; he never did care. He was just kind enough to accept me because of Seth and like he felt he had too; as a duty.

_You don't know how hard it was for me to accept you in this pack! Now I gravely regret it! _His voice ran through my head like waves. He regretted giving me a chance because he knew I was a lost cause.

I started to sob again and another teardrop fell into the basin. My left hand knocked over a box and I heard cutlery spill; I felt something cold and sharp. I looked to the side and saw my hand on top of a huge knife. The next thing I knew, I reached for it and placed it on my palm; I closed my eyes and silted my palm. I felt the pain hit me and I dropped the knife in the basin, digging my fingers into my scar; I wanted to keep this pain longer so I could forget about the other. Drops of blood started to fall into the basin, along with my tears. I felt the blood trickle down my wrist; I released my fingers and turned my hand over as the blood continued to drop. I continued to sob, until I suddenly couldn't feel the pain anymore.

I turned my hand over and saw no scar, no more blood, but just a pink shade on my palm. I let out a groan of frustration; Damn this! Damn this werewolf ability! I can never win! My frustration again, ended in sorrow. I placed my hand on the basin again and I glanced at the back of my hand. I saw a drop of blood on my bracelet, that dad had given me for my 16th birthday; since then it has been my favorite bracelet. I placed a finger on the bracelet and rubbed the blood off and revealed the writings 'My Big Girl'; tears started to roll down again. _Oh dad! Everything was so much easier when you were around. You were there for me, in time of need or anything; you understood me; you cared about me; you were my best friend. I miss you soo much! I wish you were here!_

My head snapped up as a thought entered my head_. What if I came to you, instead?_ I thought to myself. I would love to be with dad again and get over this drama. Clearly, no one wanted me; not Sam, not the Cullens, not…Jacob. What about mom? I bit my lip. Seth would be there for her, to protect her. But the main problem was how would I be able to do anything with me, being a stupid werewolf or shape-shifter, whatever? Then I remember the conversation on the cliff_. _

_Why do those La Push residents jump off this cliff? Are they suicidal? No, they cliff dive. It's a pass time apparently. That's weird. Can we try? No, I think it's too dangerous. Anyway, there's a storm coming and if we do this, we will die. _There's a storm ahead; perfect timing to be taken out off the picture. I gulped just thinking about it but I made my decision; I'm doing it. I took the knife from the basin, wiped my tears and headed out the front door towards the cliff.

* * *

I looked around to see if anyone was there. No one was out; they probably knew about the storm. I was standing at the edge of the cliff and I peered down; it was a long fall. I saw the waves, getting violent as they crashed the huge boulders. It was a scary thought but I wanted this to be over; I didn't want to be in pain anymore. It would be hard but all I have to do is not put any strength and just go with the waves. Of course, it would be hard for my body to drown but maybe if there's a distraction, it would let me drown. I looked at the sky as I saw the clouds begin to join; the wind started to really blow.

I took the knife out and laid it on my wrist; I took a deep breath in before I silt my wrist. The pain instantly hit me; I let out a groan but I quickly laid the knife on my other wrist and did the exact same thing. Blood started to trickle down but I could feel the wounds healing so I dug my fingers into them to stop them from closing. The pain and a slight relief continued to fill my body; it was time. I looked up at the skies and took a deep breath in. _See you soon, Dad_.

And I was on my toes and then felt gush of wind, forced on my body; I felt a sensation in my stomach but kept my eyes closed. "LEAH! NOOO!" I heard a voice yell. Was it my inner voice, calling out for me? A part of me which wanted to live? I forced my eyes open and saw how quickly I was falling towards the water; my eyes started to water and then

_Splash!_ I fell on the waterbed, which injured my stomach. My eyes were still opened, and I could see the water above me; my blood started to mix with the water which made the water an orange-ish color. I slowly opened my mouth to let the air out; I never thought death would be so beautiful.

Death was a lot easier than living; my wrists started to burn as salt started to enter in them; it was working. But then I realized something; I was floating upwards. I wasn't drowning; curse my swimming ability! I tried to push myself down but I kept going up; maybe the waves might push me to rocks, but that won't work. Then suddenly I felt something get caught on my wrist. I looked to see, my bracelet tangled to a sea weed, which was around an underwater boulder and it won't release me. I didn't budge; this was good. Maybe dad was trying to help me; get me out of this misery. _Thanks, dad_ I thought as I let out a last breath, before everything faded into the black.

* * *

**Dan dan DAN! Here is chapter 2, and talk about drama! =P I guess I kind of got all melo-dramatic and over the edge here. Get it? Over the edge? …okay, you don't. Well, what do you guys think of this little yet big fight? Leah's cracked exterior as well as Jacob's denial exterior? Pretty interesting know? I guess I made Leah quite weak and broken here to show her vulnerable side and how she really is, and how much she had opened to Jacob about herself and all, and how those words hurt her (you'll see that in the chapters to come). Now, you can't fully blame Jake cause well he was in love with Bella and plus, Leah was kind of manipulating him a bit (you could say). **

**Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter? Well, you'll have too. This is the beauty of a cliffhanger! xD **

**Reviews are awesome :D **


	3. We're All To Blame

**Jacob Black**

I gasped, finally being able to get some air into my lungs; that was the longest I have ever been underwater. But I had to. Thank god I didn't fall onto the rocks. I felt so weak; the storm was really bad and my head started to ache. I pushed myself against the waves, as I walked to shore. I felt my left leg burn and looked to see, that I had a huge cut, which was oozing blood; I must have scraped it on some rocks. I felt the dim sun rays, reflect on my wet back as my body, apart from my legs, was completely above the water. Limping towards the sand, I tried to open my eyes, slowly as I felt the salt burn my corneas; I blinked a couple of times before getting my vision back.

I saw, in front of me, Edward slowly walking towards the water; he must have ran down to cliff, when he probably heard me. He nodded at my thought, and then his eyes became very tense; he glanced at me and then looked at my arms. I followed his gaze and saw what made him worried; in my arms, I was carrying an unconscious and pale Leah towards the sand.

Looking at her, made my heart stop; _what have I done?_ I could tell from Edward's expression that he wasn't even sure if she was alive. When I reached the sand, I took a few steps before I collapsed onto my knees and gently put Leah on the sand.

"Leah? Leah?" I coughed because the salt made my throat hurt. She's didn't answer; she didn't even move. I felt Edward kneel next to Leah and just gaze at her.

"Leah? Can you hear me? Please answer me" I called out, patting her cheek a couple of times. Still no reply.

"I think, a lot of water must have gotten into her lungs. I don't think she'll respond" Edward calmly stated.

"No! She's fine. Nothing is wrong with her" I replied. I felt anger build up in me and I called out again "Leah!" I saw Edward slowly, take a hold of Leah's silted wrist and press his thumb onto it. _Is he trying to injure her more?_

"No… I trying to check her pulse but…I can't feel anything" he said in a casual tone. I looked at him, with wide eyes and looked at Leah again.

"Leah! Wake up!" I called out, again patting her cheek. She didn't make any movement; I just looked at her face. She looked so pale and innocent. The anger started to feel like pain. I looked at Edward, who was just looking at Leah, _not doing anything!_

"I don't think there is anything we can do, Jacob" he said quietly.

"Shut up!" I yelled at him and then I placed my hands, on top of each other, on her chest and decided to pump some air into her. "One two three" I muttered the amount of times I pumped air.

"Lee! Please! Be alright!" I spoke to her; I tried again but she just laid, motionless with her eyes closed.

"Leah!" I called out again. Then I placed one of my hands on her forehead, and the other on her chin and then bent down, and placed my mouth on her, slowly blew air into her mouth. I looked up; still nothing. I then placed my hands on her chest and pumped more air.

"Leah, Please don't do this to me!" I felt myself welling up. I again bent down and blew into her mouth. I felt Edward looking at me, not with shock but with pity. The pain was really getting to me; this is my entire fault. If anything happened to Leah, like she…died, I would never let it down; I might fall out the edge as well. I again pumped air into her body; I'm not going to let her go.

"Jacob…I think you should stop…" I heard Edward, softly plead. I blew into her mouth again.

"No! She'll be fine!" I denied him and pumped air into her chest again. I saw Edward turn his head away, as if he couldn't bare it. I blew into her mouth again and put my hands on her chest and pumped again.

"Come on, Lee. You're strong, Goddamit!" I yelled but no reply. Nothing changed; I dropped my hands to the side and looked at her, and a tear fell down my cheek. I can't believe I did this to her.

"I'm so sorry, Leah" I choked and my head sunk into my hands, trying not to break into tears.

Then suddenly, I heard a cough. I pushed my hands away from my face and glanced at the sand; I saw Leah's fingers twitch. I looked up with wide eyes and so did Edward. Leah coughed again and spat some water out; her eyes were squinted and, her head rocked towards Edward's side and then to mine.

"Jacob…" she whispered, in a husky tone before her eyes closed again and her head fell to the side. _Oh god! What happened?_ I looked at Edward, alarmed but he looked a little more relaxed.

"Don't worry, she's fine. She just passed out from exhaustion and weakness" he said, examining her; I let out a sigh of relief. He looked at her wrists again before laying it on the sand again.

"We better take her to Carlisle, to be checked" Edward offered and I nodded. He got up and stuck out his hand; I think he was offering to help me carry, Leah. _Hello! I'm strong you know!_ He just smiled and looked towards the forest. I looked at Leah and wiped some of the water off her face, and I placed my arms underneath her and, swiftly lifted her up.

I carefully cradled her in my arms so that her head wouldn't hang. Edward started to walk and I started to catch up with him.

* * *

For a while we walked without talking, I just looked at Leah. I saw her chest slowly, rise and then settle. _She's alive, that's good_ I sighed. What have I gotten myself into? Why do I always girls who jump off cliffs? From the corner of my eyes, I saw Edward grin at my thought; I growled. _Hope you're enjoying this, crazy mind-reading vampire!_

"Well… you have got yourself into a hell of a mess but it's alright" he replied and looked at me. I looked at him, confused. What's wrong with him?

"How can you say that? What do you mean 'alright'? You said 'it was wound that couldn't be healed'…how's that good?" I questioned, getting a bit pissed.

"I mean, the wound is Leah's emotional wound. It just depends if she's a fast healer; it's all based on her decision" Edward explained. I rolled my eyes; well that helps. Then I looked at Leah again; she looked really pale compared to her skin tone, I don't know how.

"I wouldn't blame Leah if she tried to kill me or not talk to me ever again" I sighed.

"Don't say that, Jacob. She really cares about you" Edward replied. Well after what I did, I don't think so.

"I was such an idiot! I knew what Leah had been through and then, I threw those words at her face, again. Reminding her about Sam and the pain" I groaned and sunk my head into Leah's body. I sighed and pulled my head away. I saw Edward, try to place his hand on my shoulder but then he pulled away; I really hurt her.

"You were angry, Jacob; you didn't mean it. And don't forget, you're the one who saved her" Edward exclaimed. He was trying to bring my hopes up but it wasn't working. I just felt even guiltier.

"Ya, but don't forget who hurt her in the first place that made her, try to kill herself. I practically pushed her off the cliff myself" I choked. I threw her off the cliff, with my own words. Then a thought worried me. _What if I didn't go after Leah? What if I just walked away?_

"But you didn't" Edward answered.

"But what if I didn't find her? If it weren't for her bracelet, sparkling and tangled in seaweed, I would have lost her; it was a close call. If I didn't see that, she would be…" I gasped. Oh god; I am a horrible alpha; no, a person!

"But you saw it" Edward again backed me up. My eyes were in puzzle; I realized something.

"Edward… If I hadn't come back to Cullen mansion, and if you hadn't convinced me to go after Leah, she would have died. You were the one who actually saved her" I looked at him. He glanced at me at me, his mouth opened and closed and he looked ahead; _you can't deny that_.

"I'm not but… if it weren't for your determination and care for Leah, she would have been long dead. You saw how I reacted when I saw her; I just said she was dead but you didn't give up. It proves that did care" he explained. I felt a smile slowly grow on my face; Of course, I cared about Leah. _I bet it was Bella; you would be panicking like hell!_

Edward laughed and then shrugged "I guess so".

Then we both looked ahead and continue to walk. When I realized that we finally reached the Cullen's clearing,

Edward stopped and sighed "Oh great."

"What?" I asked, securing Leah in my arms.

"There's a crowd waiting for us" Edward stated. Oh well, I guess I probably guessed that. I looked at Leah and then walked ahead, then saw a group of people, chatting outside the house.

I saw Alice, sitting on the stairs, with Jasper, lying on her lap; Esme was brushing Nessie's hair while Rosalie was standing next to Bella, talking intensely. I gasped when I recognized Seth, looking worried while he talked to Emmet. _What's he doing here? I thought he left_. Edward sighed and then gestured towards the house. Edward walked ahead of us and I followed him, closely; Alice was the first one to see us. She slowly got up and stood on the stairs, looking at Leah in my arms; then everyone followed her gaze and their eyes widened. I walked next to Edward, until I felt a gust of wind and then looked behind me to see Bella crash against Edward.

"Where have you been?" I heard Bella ask Edward; wasn't it obvious? I rolled my eyes and continued to walk towards Alice.

"Where's the doctor?" I eagerly asked Alice.

"Jake, what happened?" I heard Seth say behind me, after glancing at Leah.

"I'll call him. Take Leah to Carlisle's study" Alice took out her phone and gestured towards the house. I rushed up the stairs, trying to avoid the questions Seth kept asking; I just wanted to get Leah to the study. I pushed the door and pulled the bed sheets to the side before delicately placing Leah on the pillow.

"Jacob, Answer me!" I felt Seth's temper rise. Okay, now's a good time; I looked at him and saw worry and anger in his eyes. Then I saw Esme walk from behind of Seth and gently place her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of her till Carlisle comes. He won't be long" she said in her loving voice. I guess she knew that Seth deserved an explanation.

I nodded and stepped out of the room, followed by Seth. I slowly went down into the living room and collapse on the couch; Seth sat down, bending towards me, waiting for an answer. Just then Nessie came in, worried and walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my head before settling next to Seth.

"Jake, what happened?"she asked, desperately. She looked really mature suddenly; her voice deepened and she gained height as well. I sighed; Seth's gonna kill me.

"Promise me, you won't freak" I said, clearly pointing at Seth.

"I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Just tell me!"

I sighed and then looked at him. "Leah…tried to kill herself" I confessed. Nessie gasped and clasped her mouth while Seth's eyes grew big.

"Oh my god, how?" Nessie asked.

"She cut herself and jumped off a cliff. With Edward's help, I was able to save her, just in time" I replied. Nessie gave weak smile but my eyes were on Seth; he was looking to the floor.

"W-what were you doing here, anyway Seth? I thought you would be at home" I wondered. I remembered Seth leaving me and Leah, and I guessed he was heading for La Push; Nessie gazed at him as he lifted his head.

"Well, I-I was hanging at the p-park for a while and then I decided to head home. When I got home, I saw the front door was open and there were blo-blood stains in the sink; I kind of freaked out. So I came here to ask for help and then they told me that you and Edward were missing" Seth softly explained. _Oh man, Leah_. Just then I saw Carlisle rush past us, up to his study; I looked at him until he closed the door and looked back at Seth, with apologetic eyes.

"Seth… It's all my fault" I confessed and, he and Nessie looked at me, confused. "If I hadn't yelled at her…if I hadn't hit her, she would be…" I cut off by Nessie.

"Jacob, it's not your fault; you didn't mean it… you were just troubled" she comforted. God, she is so like her father; it's getting annoying.

"Hmm...Ye-yeah Jake, you did what you had to do. Leah just didn't handle it the right way…" Seth replied, solemnly. Wow, he's taking it better than I thought. Then a small quivering smile grew on his face.

"Ha, I always used to jo-joke that Leah would be suicidal but I didn't _actually _think she wou-would be!" Seth exclaimed, with a sad chuckle at the end. Okay, you're making me feel bad again.

"Why don't you both go and check on her?" Nessie offered; Seth and I nodded, and she left. I walked up the stairs and slowly opened the study door. I saw a drip, attached to Leah's wrist; Carlisle was checking her scars while Esme, gently stroked her forehead.

I heard Seth let out an uneven breath; it probably hurt him to see her like this. It did, indeed. Carlisle slowly got up and walked toward me and Seth.

"Well, she seems to be healing; not much water went into her lungs, she will be able to pass it out. Some salt went into her wounds which made her a bit weak, but the scars will heal quite fast. She seems to be very weak and exhausted so she will probably have to stay here from 2-3 days. She'll be fine" Carlisle concluded. I whispered _Thanks_ and, Seth and I walked towards her bed; she looked so peaceful. I looked at Seth and saw him bit his lip, and his eyes were almost unreadable.

"Seth, I think you should go home" I sighed

"What? No. I'm not going to leave Leah like this!" he exclaimed, almost angry.

"Don't worry; I'll be there for her. I'll call Billy and let him know I'm staying over here. You have to take care of your mom and I'm again so…"

"Sorry? I know" he answered, but almost resentfully.

"And would you mind not telling her…"

"What really happened? Sure… I'll see you around, Jake" and he left the room, without a glance back as I sighed.

* * *

It has been a day since that incident happened and Leah was still asleep. Carlisle says that there is nothing much we can do until she wakes up; oh great. I just went hunting with Alice and Nessie; boy, Alice talks a lot. I keep checking on Leah; I wish there was something I could do.

"You just have to wait, Jake. Everything will be fine" Nessie said, reading my expression as we walked towards Cullen residence.

"I know, I just feel so guilty, doing this to her" I whined. She placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I know" she replied. I then saw Bella, coming out of the cottage; her skin had a certain glow in the moonlight. A bit creepy.

"Nessie, Nahuel is on the phone" Bella exclaimed when she caught up with us. Nahuel. He's been visiting and talking to Nessie ever since the Volturi came. For a reason he annoyed me; maybe for the fact, that he spends time with my imprint. But whatever.

"Oh okay, see you around Jake" she said before dashing for the cottage, leaving me and Bella on the stairs. She just looked at me with blank eyes and I turned away and started to walk up the stairs.

"Jake, I think you should go home" Bella finally spoke in her new icy tone; I stopped and turned around to her. She didn't look like she was saying it in a caring way; more like a forceful way.

"What? No, I'm not going to leave Leah here, alone" I stated and she rolled her eyes. What is wrong with her?

She looked at me, looking at her, weirdly and asked "What?"

"What's wrong with you?" I questioned. I mean she knew that I wouldn't leave Leah then why is she asking?

"Nothing, I just—just don't like Leah. And she doesn't like me" she said, bitterly.

"Well, she has a reason you know!" I replied, bitterly as well.

"What reason?" she asked like she didn't know.

"The reason that you, oh I don't know, tried to attack me!" I replied, getting frustrated.

"Why would she care?" Bella asked again. Oh god.

"Because that's the way she is. She cares about other people's feelings…" I replied before turning my back and walking up the stairs, muttering "…unlike some people, I know."

"I heard that" Bella sort of snarled at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, you were meant to" I said over my shoulder and proceeded to the front door. And as usual, I saw Edward standing in front of me, with his arms crossed; _don't blame me, blame her._

He rolled his eyes, and I passed him heading towards the stairs. I saw Jasper, reading the newspaper; Emmet and Alice playing cards while Rosalie just watched; no sign of the doctor. I reached the stairs and just then Esme came.

"Jacob, since you're going to sleep here again, I thought you might need this" she said and handed me a blanket. I didn't want to be rude so I nodded and took it from her and headed up stairs.

I slowly opened the door and entered the _nearly_ dark room. I saw Leah, sleeping with a drip attached to her arm and a blanket over her. I slowly walked to the side of the bed and looked at her; she looked almost fully recovered. That's good. I slowly bent towards her, and gently pushed her hair, behind her ears and then suddenly I felt her get a hold of my arm; she then suddenly tugged it down to the bed which made me fall a little be closer to her. I was about 5 inches away from her face but I didn't say anything or move; I just watched her slowly groan and then slowly open her eyes (not fully though).

"Leah"

"Jacob?"

I nodded.

"What are you doing in hell?"

I smiled; typical Leah. "What makes you think that you would go to hell?"

"I don't know."

"You're not dead, Leah."

She looked at me for a few seconds before answering. "I'm…not…dead? But…how?"

"Relax, Leah. You'll be fine."

She softly groaned as she closed her eyes. She loosened her grip on my arm so I slowly moved it away and touched her head, sighing. She's didn't wake up since so I laid on the couch and rubbed my forehead and slowly dozed off.

* * *

"Jacob? Jacob" I heard someone pat me. I pushed away their cold hand and turned to the side.

"Jacob, don't make me bite you" he warned. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up to see Edward, looking at me with his hands in his pockets.

"What is it?" I murmured as I rubbed my eyes.

"You have visitors" he said. _Visitors? But why?_

"They have come to see Leah" he explained after reading my thought. _What!_ I got up and straightened up.

"Who?" I asked with wide eyes. Just when I said that, Sam, Embry and Paul entered; Shit.

"Hey, Jake" Embry greeted and gave me a pat on the back.

"Hey guys. What's up?" I asked, nervously; this can't be good. Sam, who was looking down, looked up.

"We normally wouldn't come here but Seth informed us about Leah so we wondering if it was true-" he got cut off as he caught a glance at Leah, who was still unconscious on the bed. He slowly walked towards Leah's bed. I glanced at Edward who was looking at Sam; I knew he was reading his thoughts. I looked back at Sam who was right next to Leah; Oh man.

"Whoa man. I guess Seth was _dead_ serious" Paul exclaimed when he and Embry were at the rear of the bed. I walked towards the bed and stood next to Sam; Sam still didn't move or take his eyes off of her.

"Dude, what happened?" Embry asked as he looked at me. I hesitated but Edward the one that answered.

"Leah was apparently in a lot of emotional pain; she couldn't handle it so she decided to kill herself by slitting her wrists and jumping off a cliff" Edward briefly explained, cutting off my yelling at her part; I winced when he said 'tried to kill himself.' I looked at Sam, to see if he were mad at me but he didn't move. He still looked at Leah's pale face, which was almost getting its color back.

"But why is it taking so long to heal? She's strong" Embry asked. He and Leah were good friends since they both could sympathize with each other, since they haven't imprinted yet.

"She's strong, but also smart. She made herself vulnerable so that it would take time to heal; she actually wasn't expecting to heal or to be alive, for that matter" Edward explained as I crunched my face up and, so did Embry and Paul; from the corner of my eye, I saw Sam close his eyes, almost if he were in pain.

"When will she fully recover?" Paul asked while he glanced at her.

"A few days. She's extremely weak and exhausted; it wasn't easy treating her" Edward shrugged. I saw a tear roll down Sam's eye. He closed his eyes and moved his head from side to side and then stormed past me and out of the room.

Everyone glanced at the doorway from which Sam had stormed out and then I glanced at Edward. He stayed calm and gestured to go see Sam; I nodded and left the room. I started to run in hope to catch up to Sam; I saw Sam run out of the front door and I ran after him.

"Sam!" I yelled when we finally reached the outside of Cullen house.

"Sam! Stop" Sam finally froze but didn't turn around; I froze in my position too.

"Sam, are you alright?" I asked gently. Sam shook his head and then replied in a husky tone.

"How can I be fine? Just looking at her like that, brought back all the promises I had broken. How can I be fine?" I took one step closer but Sam didn't move.

"Sam, it isn't your fault…" I calmly replied.

"It is my fault!" he yelled as he faced me. I jumped back a little when he yelled at me. It was truly scary; his hands and teeth were clenched, he looked so big, his eyes were red but I don't think it was because of anger; but because of sadness.

"You can't blame yourself. I'm the one to be blamed for this but none of us knew that Leah would come to this level" I stayed calm; I guess it was a habit I got from the Cullens since I have been spending a lot of time here.

"I can't believe I left her this way. All alone and now this" he whined.

"Leah is much stronger than you think, Sam. She just got a bit too emotional and couldn't control her actions" I explained. A few seconds of silence passed. I saw Sam, trying his hardest not to picture her this way.

"I just- I can't be here, I have to go. I can't see her like this, I-" he stammered. "Tell Embry and Paul, I'll meet them at La Push. See you, Jacob and take care of Le-Leah" he choked when he mentioned Leah. I nodded and he headed off to the woods. I sighed and headed back for the house. Wow,_ some_ way to start the day.

* * *

**Hey guys... so here you go! This was kind of easy to write… the next one is going to be kind of hard so I wouldn't want to hold my breath for that one! =P** **btw, thank you everyone who reviewed my previous chapters, they were nice but don't diss Jake; he was mad ****And also Seth's reaction is a bit mild, but in the next few chapters it comes bit clearer.**

**Anyways, hope you liked this chapter and also please tell others if they are into this stuff and Reviews are nice! ****Things will start to get interesting… it already did, but there's more :D**

**See you soon bye...**

**Btw, The reason why I names this chapter 'We're all to blame': I just thought it would be a good name for this chapter because it shows how Jacob and Sam blame themselves for what happened to Leah and they won't accept if anyone else took it or tried to convince them that it wasn't their fault XD**


	4. Before The Worst

**Leah Clearwater**

I was just wondering if I was dead or alive… I mean, I could feel the cool breeze against my cheeks, the smell of pine trees and the sound of my heart beat but I couldn't seem to open my eyes; this is weird. It was as if all my senses were awake but my body wouldn't respond to them. Suddenly, I see a flash and then I see my mom, laying on a hospital bed, cradling a small and sleeping baby; I saw my mom smiling as she slowly bounced the child and my dad came and sat next to her, and put his arm around her shoulder. I felt my heart skip a beat; it was so amazing to see my mom and dad together, happy.

"_Oh, she's beautiful" dad whispered to my mom._

"_Yes, she is" she grinned at dad. I almost forgot how beautiful my mom really way. She turned her gaze back to the bundle she held_

"_I think… we'll call her, Leah" my mom said as she stroked the baby's cheek as the baby stirred a bit. They smiled at each other and my dad leant and kissed my mom's forehead._

It felt so heartwarming; then the scene changed. We were at home, and mom sitting on the couch, next to a girl wearing two pigtails, about 4 years old and the girl was holding a baby who was sucking his own hand; I giggled to see the 4 year old me, trying to hold Seth, still.

"_He's the perfect baby brother" I exclaimed._ _Wow! I had a squeaky voice._

_Seth, then looked up at me as I smiled and reached out, and pulls one of my pigtails._

"_Oww! You stupid boy!" I screamed at Seth as I pulled him away from me._

"_Leah!" my mom yelled._

"_It's his fault" I said as I handed him over to mom and crossed my arms around my chest_.

I giggled and the scene changes again and now I was at my old high school. I was eating my lunch on my own, and then I see a young and cute guy walk up to the 13 year old me. I gasped as I realized who it is.

"_Mind if I sit here?" he asked. I looked around to check if anyone's coming._

"_I guess not" I sighed and he sat down. He kept looking at me, and then I noticed his stare._

"_What is it?" I asked, irritated; he flashed a charming smile._

"_I was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime, Leah Clearwater" he replied. My mouth dropped open. _

"_How do you know my name?" I asked._

"_How could anyone not know you're name. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he smiled and I could feel my cheeks heat up a bit. It was pretty corny but kind of sweet._

_He stuck out his hand. "Names Sam. Sam Uley" he said. _

_I looked at his hand and then at his eyes; then I slowly extended my hand and shook his hand, smiling._

Who knew that, that would have been the biggest mistake and regret I ever made. The scene changed again and this time I was at the beach but I couldn't spot myself; I looked around to see myself, being helped up by a young boy; I must have fallen.

"_I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean too" the boy apologized._

"_It's okay. That was quite a throw" I giggled as I gazed at the boy._

I didn't know who he was but somehow, I felt like I did. He was young, cute and had a really nice smile; I just couldn't figure out where I've seen him before. The next scene just rushed by but I catch a glimpse of what happened. I see Sam's mom talking to a bunch of policeman while I was pacing around, panicking with tears rolling down my cheeks; it was the time Sam went missing. The scene changes and now, I'm in the woods, with Sam who's shirtless.

"_That's why I was missing" Sam said. He had just told me about being a werewolf; I just stared at him, shocked._

"_All the legends, the tales...they are all true" he informed, and my gaze fell onto the ground that he stood._

"_That's why I can't be around you. If I lose control then…" he sighed. My head shot up and I walked towards him and, stretched my hands to reach his face._

"_Don't you dare say that! I don't care what you are! I love you… and I'll always will even if you are a giant dog" I yelled at him with frustration._

"_I love you" he looked at me, then lifted me up and kissed me with eagerness, but not trying to hurt me._

The scene changes, and now I was near the beach at sunset. Oh god; not this! I thought remembering what happened. I turn to see myself, sitting on the beach lying against Sam, holding his hand.

"_I could stay like this, forever" I sighed._

"_I want to stay like this forever, with you" Sam whispered in my ear. I turned around and saw him gazing at me with his brown eyes; whenever I looked into his eyes, I would melt._

"_I love you, Leah" he says as he strokes my hair; a sudden happiness rushed inside me. I finally had someone who loves me; who wants to be with me; someone who I could stay forever with; my soul mate._

"_I love you too, Sam" I replied and kissed him, softly on his lips._

I closed my eyes, trying not to think of the pain, running through me; the promise he broke. The scene changes again, and I am on to the beach again except not with Sam but the young boy, who seemed to have grown and was becoming more familiar. I was sitting next to him, talking.

"_You see that rock over there" I said to him, pointing at a huge rock, farthest from shore. "I call it 'Swimmers Rock' because only toughest of swimmers can reach there. I am on the swimming team and I always wanted to try and get there but it's really hard" I continued._

"_We can do it" he said; his voice ringed in my head. He slowly gets up. "Come on, it's worth a try. I know that we can make it; I got a feeling" he said with such confidence. I just gazed at him; his confidence and determination really brought my hopes up._

"_Fine, we do it together" I smiled as I got up._

I smiled as I saw myself and him fade and I dived into another scene; I still couldn't figure who he was. Then the scene I dreaded appeared; I choked as I saw Sam, standing outside my room door, with his eyes to the floor.

"_Sam, what are you talking about?" I asked him, trying to look into his eyes._

"_Remember, those stories about werewolves having this thing where they find their soul mate just by seeing them for the first time? It's called imprinting?" Sam sighed, with his hands in his pockets._

"_Ya, the love at first sight thing. What about it?" I asked, feeling a little uncomfortable._

"_I think…I mean, I have imprinted" he said, choking on the word imprinted. Somehow, I felt a bit happy; the person I love is now destined to me. He imprinted on me! _

"_Oh really?" I said in a bit enthusiastic tone; He looked up at me. His eyes filled with pain; he looked like he was going to cry or hit something._

"_Leah…" his voice stained; I gazed at him, confused. _

"_I imprinted on Emily" he finally said; I felt my heart stop for a second. The happiness turned into pain; I stared at him._

"_E-Em-Emily? M-my c-co-cousin, Emily?" I stammered, trying not to believe what he just said._

"_Yes" he tightly closes his eyes. His answer struck me like lightening; I felt like I was going to break. My eyes started to water and I clasped my mouth; I was weak and my legs gave up, making me fall to my knees. I closed my eyes tightly; I felt like I wanted to scream._

"_Lee-lee..." I heard him whisper, in pain. "I am so sorry."_

_I just couldn't look at him; the pain was too much and it was also starting to turn to anger. I never wanted to see him again! Never!_

"_Get out of here, Sam" I said, softly trying not to crumble._

"_Leah, please..." he pleaded._

"_GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!" I yelled and looked at him with wide and red eyes. He looked at me with a pained apologetic look and then went out the door. Right after he left, I closed my eyes again and let the tears stream down my face; I slowly fell completely to the floor and curled my body and cried and cried…_

That memory really stained me; I was a mess and all because of Sam. Then next scene I am outside, sitting on the porch with dad; his hands were around me.

"_Why did this happen to me dad?" I groaned, trying not to cry._

"_I don't know, baby. I never wanted this to happen to you; I hate to see you like this" my dad said, cuddling me closer._

"_It's like I have no one there for me" I sighed, looking down._

"_Don't say that, Leah. You have your mom, you have Seth and you have me. I will always be there for you. After all you're my…" he then pointed at the bracelet he gave me and finishes the sentence "... big girl."_

"_Oh dad! Don't ever leave me" I said as I hugged him tighter._

"_I wouldn't dream of it…" he whispered and then kisses my head._

I sighed as I remembered how it felt like to hug dad; I did miss him, so much. Suddenly everything went black; no scene but I somehow heard voices.

"_Leah, please talk to me. You haven't eaten in days. Please Leah…" I heard Seth plead as I heard my soft sobs. _

Even though I couldn't see anything, I could sense it; I was crying because I was in pain.

"_Oh Seth…" I choked, with my tears. "It's just so hard… I mean I loved him!"_

"_I know Leah" Seth softly replied._

"_I can't believe he did this to me" I started to sense some anger in my tone as well as in my body. "He said he loved me… but he imprinted on Emily, my own cousin and now he's engaged to her…"_

"_I hate him…" I heard myself, whisper, with frustration. I felt a vibration run through my body._

"_I HATE HIM SO MUCH!" I heard myself yelled so loud and then suddenly I heard a ripping sound as well as the cushions tears, the dressing table fall over and the ground rumble. A deep growl broke out; then suddenly again, another ripping noise and I heard lamps smash onto the ground. All I heard were low growls and whines and then I heard someone walk upstairs and scream._

I felt the scene change and now I was at the hospital, sitting next to mom, holding her while Seth was pacing. The doctor came out of the room and, me and my mom stood up and gazed at the doctor.

"_The Clearwaters?" she asked; we shook our heads._

"_How is he? Is he okay?" my mom started to panic; I held her down but inside I was panicking as well. I saw the doctor, close her eyes and sigh; then she looked at us with a neutral expression._

"_I'm so sorry but Harry Clearwater is no more" she said. Mom, burst into tears and Seth took her in his arms, consoling her. The doctor looked at me with an apologetic look and left. I gasped and slowly walked to the chair; the pain hit me so hard that I instantly burst into tears like mom._

"_Dad…" I moaned and covered my face with my hands; the tears soaked my hands._

I felt like I was about to cry now, but I couldn't. The scene changed and now we were out in the woods again. I was standing with Seth, next to Billy and Quil's grandfather. I saw the pack, emerge from the trees; this was the first time I had met the pack. The pack looked at me, with faces filled with pity, especially Sam's; I hated that.

"_We're sorry about your father, Leah and Seth" Sam said. I winced when he said my name; the whole pack nodded._

"_But that's not we brought them here for" Billy says and the pack looks at him, confused. I looked to the side trying not to look at any of the pack members._

_Quil Ateara Sr. sighed and then spoke "Seth and Leah phased, which is the actual reason for Harry's death." The pain struck me at the fact that it was my fault that my dad was died; it really hurt. I felt the pack gaze at me, shocked._

"_Are you serious? Leah phased? But there has never been a female werewolf before!" I heard Embry exclaimed and I turned and looked at the pack; they were looking at Billy and Quil Sr. for answers but Sam just looked at me, with a pained expression. I felt Seth squeeze my hand and then let go._

"_Well, now apparently there is. Guide and help them Sam, since you are the Alpha" Billy states. I looked at Billy with wide eyes._

"_What! I have to be like this? And I have to listen to Sam?" I yelled. Everyone gazed at me but I didn't care; I couldn't believe it!_

"_Yes Leah, you have to. This is who you are and you have to learn how to control yourself and you have to follow orders that Sam gives you" Billy replied, calmly. I started to shake and my jaw clenched; I see Seth back away a bit. _

"_I can't believe that I have to work like some dog, under him?" I pointed harshly at Sam; I couldn't control myself. "Fuck this!" I yelled and my clothes ripped and I transformed into my grey wolf and ran towards the forest._

"_Leah!" I heard Seth and Sam yell for me but I just keep running._

The scene changes and now, I'm sitting next to Jake on the cliff and we were arguing; I remembered that.

"…_I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I suppose to do with that?" I yelled at him._

"_Do I care?" he replied, not caring._

"_I can't stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She's going to go marry that thing. He's going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy!" I growled; it was so frustrating that he loves that leech lover!_

The scene changes again; it was night and I was in my wolf form and I was walking home. It was the time when Sam realized that we couldn't hear Seth and Jacob, and right after the morning meeting; I slipped away from them and decided to head home. I saw myself turn human and run towards home and straight to my room. I put on some clothes and then sat on my bed thinking… I was trying to think of the two different packs and two different minds and the benefits of a separate pack. I saw myself sigh and then sit on my desk and write a note; I sealed it with a kiss and I quietly ran out off the house.

The scene faded; I was starting to think that maybe I was dead because I didn't get tired or was able to express any emotions. The scene faded to the forest opposite of Cullen's house and me and Jake, had just finished hunting, the 'wolf' way and now we were just walking.

'_Thank you', I said in a different tone._

'_For?' He asked._

'_For letting me be. For letting me stay. You've been nicer than I had any right to expect, Jacob.'_

'_Er, no problem. Actually, I mean that. I don't mind having you here like I thought I would.'_

'_What a glowing commendation!' I snorted, playfully._

'_Don't let it go to your head.'_

'_Okay-if you don't let this go to yours'. I paused and then spoke again. 'I think you make a good Alpha. Not in the same way Sam does, but in your own way. You're worth following, Jacob.'_

_Jacob looked surprised._ '_Er, thanks. Not totally sure I'll be able to stop that one from going to my head, though. Where did that come from?'_

I paused and looked into his big black wolf eyes and said the six words that changed my life.

'_I want to stay with you.'_

The scene faded when Jacob looked at me, shocked. At that moment I knew what I wanted, and I didn't regret my decision…at least I think so. The next scene was with Seth and Jacob just when we saw that the leeches were making Bella drink human blood.

'_They are vampires, I guess, I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps Bella, it's a good thing, right?'_ _Seth said and Jacob and I just stared at him. _

'_What?' He asked._

'_Mom dropped him a lot when he was baby' I told Jacob._

'_Oh his head, apparently.' He said._

'_He used to gnaw on the crib bars too'._

'_Lead paint?'_

'_Looks like it' I sighed_

'_Funny. Why don't you both shut up and sleep?' Seth snorted and, me and Jacob laughed._

More memories passed by, of Jacob, Seth and myself just hanging out since that year. I loved them so much and I really enjoyed being with them; they changed my whole world. Jacob mostly changed my world.

"_You're gold, Lee!"_ I heard Jacob laugh and give me a small hug as the memory faded; I smiled.

"_I thought you were different, and you knew what I was going through but no! I guess some people don't change. You just keep making it worse!"_ I heard Jacob's harsh words run through my head as I passed the scene where Jacob was clenching and unclenching his fists, while I laid on the floor, holding my cheek. That really hurt; I did overreact a bit but I wasn't expecting him to blow up like that.

Then suddenly, I was surrounded by dark again but I heard voices, but not my own.

"_Leah, please don't do this to me!"_ I heard someone yell and sounded like he was welling up.

"_I'm so sorry, Leah"_ he choked. I recognized the voice; Jacob. Had he saved me from death? That can't be possible.

"_I wouldn't blame Leah if she tried to kill me or not talk to me ever again"_ I heard Jacob moan. What is going on here? Am I dead or alive?

"_If it weren't for your determination and care for Leah, she would have been long dead."_ I heard an icy and low tone. Was it Edward, or another leech?

"_You're not dead, Leah"_ I heard Jacob's voice ring in my head. Well, if I'm not dead than how come I can't feel anything or do anything?

"_Dude, what happened?"_ I heard a familiar voice. Embry? What is going on here?

"_Sam!"_ I heard Jacob yell and sounded like he was running after someone.

Then suddenly, there was another flash and my eyes flew open as I came back to reality.

* * *

**This was actually suppose to be only ****a part**** of chapter 4 but I guess I got carried away :P**

**Well, I hope you like it; it's a bit confusing but you'll figure it out XP It's kinda like what some people say: when you die, your life flashes before you. Except Leah didn't die =P Maybe it's an epiphany. **

**The next chapter would also be Leah's POV but it might take more time to write since its more in depth. So yeah… Hope you guys like this story. Oh btw, I know that Leah found out about Sam imprinting on Emily only when she joined the pack, but I made it look like Sam told her. x)**

**Reviews are Nice =D Constructive comments appreciated as well…**

**Bye bye xoxo**

**Btw… **_" These are quote thoughts" _**and **_'these are thoughts' [werewolf ]_


	5. Wandering Thoughts

**Leah Clearwater**

My eyes flew open as I tried to catch my breath. I just gazed at ceiling until I realized I was panting; I heard that when you die your life flashes before your eyes but this was just plain weird. I wasn't even dead. I slowly moved my head around to observe the room; it was white and modern. I wasn't sure where I was until, the morning breeze blew in and I could smell something weird, something sickly sweet; oh great, I was at the vampire's house. I slowly pulled my body up, and rested my back on the bed backboard; I noticed I had a drip attached to my wrist.

I rubbed my head and then I started to think about the voices I heard while I was unconscious. Could they possibly be real? I didn't know. Then I faintly remembered when I saw Jacob's dark face telling me that I wasn't dead. My eyes suddenly widened and I dropped my hand; if the voices I heard were real then-then that means that Embry was here… which also means that. I paused and freaked out inside my head. _Sam_. Sam was here. He came here but why? Why would he break the treaty just to come here? I suddenly started to feel suffocated; the thought of Sam and the smell was killing me.

I threw the blanket to the side and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the ground. Then I removed the drip from my wrist, wincing a bit before getting up and stumbling back on to the bed. _Oh great, now I can't even stand up_; I rolled my eyes in frustration and slowly tried again to stand up, and succeeded. I took a few steps towards the balcony, when the breeze brushed against my copper skin; I shivered, which was new to me. I glanced at the couch and saw a leather black jacket, resting on the sofa's arms. I took it and felt the burning heat it contained; I knew that this jacket belonged to Jacob. I sighed at the fact that he's probably playing with his imprint, all happy. He probably just brought me here for medical care; that was his 'job' after all, being an Alpha.

I pulled the jacket over me and stepped onto the balcony; I realized I was bare foot but whatever. I leaned on the railings and looked at the trees, extended to the horizon; the smell of pine was really refreshing in the morning but somehow I couldn't enjoy it. My gaze then moved from the trees to the roof of the Cullen's house. Without any thought, I climbed on the railing, got hold off of the roof's edge and pulled my body up. I stood up and started to walk towards the front part of the roof; I didn't care about the noise my feet made on the tiles. When I reached the edge, I sighed and then sat down, hugging my knees close to my body. I looked at the clouds, slowly covering the sun and I couldn't help to wonder.

The sun seems so defenseless against the clouds, even though the sun is so huge and powerful. It shows that even small things can overcome a greater power…like how just words took over me. I laughed at comparing myself to a 'greater power'; I mean sure, I'm an invincible, tall shape-shifter but that was it. I'm like an empty dish… nothing great; no one would care if I wasn't around. I have just a measly pebble on the vast beach called life.

I tightened my grip around my knees and couldn't help to wonder. Why would anyone want me to be around? The pack, to name a few. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that kept making my heart ache a bit. Why was Sam here? To check on me? To take pity on me? He knew how much I hated pity; it's is just another word for claiming me as weak. That brought me back to Jacob; why did he have to feel pity for me? Actually, why am I here? Why do they keep suffocating me?! Why? Why does this happen to me? Why fucking me, god? I rested my forehead on my knees and took a big breath in and let it out with a whimper. The breeze gently caressing the back for my neck, and blew my hair at its direction; I could smell, the pine trees, dead leaves, dried up flowers and the morning dew. Suddenly, I caught the smell of something familiar, something that was different and I didn't want to anything with it; before I could react, I was cut off by an icy voice.

"What are you doing here, Leah?" the voice asked and I turned my head to the direction of the voice, and looked to see, Mr. I-Like-To-Rape-Minds or also known as Edward, standing 2 feet away from me with his arms folded across his chest. For some reason, I looked at him as if it was the first time I had seen him; I didn't speak at all, just observed him carefully. His bronze locks slowly brushed against his pale yet clear forehead; his smooth pale arms were wrapped around his well toned enough torso while his topaz colored eyes were stuck on me, waiting for my reply; I hated to admit it, but he was gorgeous in a creepy way.

A small smile tugged on his lips. "Thanks and you're not so bad looking yourself, you know" he replied still maintaining his position. How did he—_oh fuck! Stupid mind reader. _This is not what I need right now.

"So are you going to tell me?" Edward asked; I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You tell you what, bloodsucker?" I wondered.

"What you're regretting about" He, plainly answered. Oh man, he must have heard me; I was practically screaming those thoughts in my head, a mind reader was bound to catch it.

"Or you want me to rummage through your head?" he smirked; my eyebrows drew to a line. _Why do you care? _He just simply shrugged and took a step forward.

"Maybe because you are one of the most interesting people, I have ever met" he stated; I rolled my eyes. _Great, I hope you think my misery is amusing. Why don't you just rummage my head so you get some 'juicy gossip' for your, Vamp-Mind Rapers club._

"I wish I could, but why else do you think I asked you what's on your mind?" He sighed. _Because you're a kind pansy?_

"That and also, I can't exactly read your mind" he confesses and slowly, but warily sits next to me. Usually I would just jump up and run away but instead I just stared at him. _Wach you talking about, leech? _

"It means that I can't hear your thoughts, clearly" he explains again. It still doesn't explain anything. _But you can read my thoughts, like when the fight happened you knew I would attack Bella and you also heard me just now, because that's why you're here trying to be a pain in the ass to me._

"That was because your thoughts were literally yelling at me. I can only pick up bits and pieces of it like example, your implied attack on Bella; I knew you would flip out… but I can't read your full thoughts" Edward confessed; my mouth opened to a 'O' as I finally understood him. Ha! He can't read my mind! Yes, I'm unreadable, I have the power. I'm like Bella; eww… I'm nothing like that filthy bitch leech! I'm independent in my head. I can say whatever I want! _Butts, boobies, hot abs, Orlando Bloom running slow-mo, and Brad Pitt's hot scenes!_

"Leah, I may not be able to fully read your mind but I can most definitely read your direct thoughts so you don't need to get all excited" Edward cut me off and looked at me weirdly. Oh great… I still have him in my head. _This sucks, I mean—did I just scream boobies and butts in my head?_

"You indeed did" Edward smiled at me; I narrowed my eyes at him and wrinkled my nose of his sickly smell. I looked away, rolling my eyes and started to rock back and forth on my ass.

"But anyways, back to my point… what's troubling you?" Edward said; I stopped rocking back and forth and looked at my knees. Everything was wrong, with me.

"You won't understand" I huffed.

"Try me. I am a quick under stander and good listener" he stated. _Not to mention you're annoying and a kiss ass._He didn't reply to the remark; I felt his gaze on me and looked at his eyes; for the first time someone didn't feel pity for me. I let out a sigh; oh well, might as well just say it and get over it.

"Edward, why is love so complicated?" I said fidgeting with my fingers. I knew he was kind of taken back by the question; I sighed and continued. "Why can't it be like a boy falls in love with a girl and she falls in love with him too and they live happily ever after" Like a fairytale.

"We all wish that love was that easy. But we aren't exactly normal ourselves" he replied; he got that right. Yet somehow when it came to love, it felt like I was human again; weak and vulnerable. Why does Sam have to do this to me? I was happy away from him and then he show his-so-called-feelings to me which makes me so mad. He doesn't love me anymore; in case he forgot, he imprinted on my cousin!

"Sam regrets so much about leaving you. He wished he could do anything to make it up to you" he stated calmly. _God that is getting annoying._

"I didn't have to read your mind to know where that was going" he replied and his topaz eyes bored into my brown eyes; he knew me enough to know how I was feeling.

"Why does he have to do this to me? Why does he have to act like he still loves me" I choked.

"He still does, Leah."

"Bullshit. This is all an act. When I get better, he'll just ignore me and go back to his precious Emily" I felt the rage run through me; it hurt me even to think about him. Damn him!

"He knows how much of pain it caused you. When he came to see you, he literally was in tears…" Edward said; Ha! I would have loved to take a picture of that. I smile tugged on my mouth before it fell and I was left, looking blank.

"No one cares about me Edward; everyone would be so much better without me. It wouldn't make a difference; with me being alive, all I'm doing is annoying people and causing myself more pain" I sighed and wrapped my legs tighter and placed my cheek on my knee cap; it hurt not to feel wanted but I knew it was true.

"Don't say that Leah. A lot of people care about you; you may not know that but they do" Edward strained on his point; I snorted_. I'd like you to name a few._

"Well there is your mom, Seth, Jacob, Billy…" He listed before I cut him off with my sharp laugh. Edward looked at me, with his eyebrows crunched together; he wasn't sure why out of nowhere I started laughing. _Well I'll tell you, leech._

"Jacob would be the last person to miss me. Heck, his life would be a lot easier if I was out of the picture. And he proved it that day; thank god he finally told me how he felt!" I replied with a sneer but somehow it hurt to say that; it started to show on my face. I tried hard to hide the pain that it caused in my heart but Edward already saw it.

"Leah, I know that Jacob upset you but believe me, he would be the one who cares the most about you" Edward said; I let out another weak huff and looked away.

"Leah, who do you think is the reason that you are alive this very moment? Who do you think ran after you and jumped off the cliff to save you? Who do you think fought everything to hear you breathe again? Who do you think carried you all the way here, on feet and wouldn't leave your side? That was all Jacob, Leah" Edward exclaimed as I winced at Jacob's name; I still wouldn't believe him.

"Because it was his duty. His duty as an Alpha; to make sure that his beta is safe. That's all" I sighed frustrated; Edward slightly turned so that he could face me. He was not through talking with me; he has an argument against my answer.

"Leah…" he sighed as I looked at him, with a hint of sadness. "Did you ever wonder why Jacob made you his beta and not Seth, Quil or Embry?" he finished his sentence looking at me, intently. I hadn't exactly thought about that; damn… oh my god. Why did he choose me as his beta? I mean Quil and Embry are his best friends, Seth was the first to follow his order…then why me? I was always the annoying tag-along harpy.

"That's because he knew you weren't a lost cause" Edward answered, reading my confused expression. I looked at him, with wide eyes as a small grin appeared on his face.

"He actually thought that you were more than that. He thinks you're different and that you were the only one that could understand him for who he is and also who he can be open with. You were the only person who could sympathize with him and at the same time entertain him and guide him. He feels like you're the one who makes him maintain his Alpha position. He thinks that making you his Beta was the best decision he ever made" Edward explained, with his eyes boring into mine. I just gazed at him shock; was he lying, just to make me forgive Jake? By the look of his eyes, it didn't look like he was in the mood for lying. God… who knew? _Boy, I probably let him down on the last accusation he made._

"No, he doesn't regret making you his beta. He doesn't blame you for wanting to attack Bella; surprisingly almost all of us weren't. He was just in a lot of emotional distress. After you left, he came back to Cullen mansion and the first emotion I felt in his thoughts, was sudden guilt; he felt so guilty and angry with himself for yelling at you. I gave him a little push and he ran to tell you how sorry he was for saying those things-_they were true though_- but still, he didn't want to throw it back at your face. Ever since he thought he was the reason for what happened, he had never left your side. He would just lay down on the couch opposite your bed, waiting for you to wake up. Esme was furious at Jacob for sleeping on the couch since he got a back ache because of that and Alice offered her room to him. He finally, in three days, slept properly" Edward clarified. I started to play with my fingers again; oh wow, Jacob. _I can't believe him…god, I must have freaked him out; I freaked everyone out. Jacob, The Cullens…Shit! Seth! Oh my god! MOM!_ Their images ran through my head; they must be worrying sick; oh fuck.

"Seth visited once and twice… he's doing well; not good but well. Your mom is kind of aware of the situation but we decided that it's better if she stayed at home rather than visit you in your condition" Edward explained, kind of figuring out what was running through my head. Oh thank god… oh great, now I have to face her and tell everyone everything; a sudden guilt ran through me. Even though I was feeling better, I felt pain; pain about the past and the memories. _Even though people have grown a liking to me and are used to me, it still doesn't stop the pain I'm facing or what I might face._

"Leah, you got to move on and away from the past. Life is really complicated and no doubt you will face obstacles on the way, that may bring joy, anger, hatred and even pain but when you find something that's worth living for, you'll forget all the bad things" Edward argued with my thoughts. _Well I guess, I haven't found that thing yet, that's why I'm struggling._

"You will and soon and everything will be better" Edward smiled at me and then looked towards the horizon and sighed. "Every dawn is a new beginning, a new day, a new hope. At times, things may not go the way as you planned but when the dawn breaks, it's a whole new start for something new, a new adventure; you could say a new life" he looked at me with a sudden spark in his topaz colored eyes. _Okay, you don't have to get all corny and deep on me_. He was right; I'm been so caught up in my past, I never actually looked out for life. The pain and resentment had blinded me to think that there was no hope; of course, it will be a while to stop the pain and I know that there will be pain ahead, but in the end the results will be satisfying; maybe that's why my dad gave a second chance to live.

"Thanks, Edward. You know, you're not so bad…" I said to him with a smile. He returned my smile and then looked at the horizon again.

"Thanks."

_For a vampire_ I thought.

"For a vampire; I'll take that as a compliment" he smiled and glanced at me. _It is_. We both laughed; Edward was actually pretty cool to be around with. I mean apart from the usual mind raping but I'm kind of immune to it unless I want him to [that sounds so weird] but he's easy to talk to; maybe the vampires aren't so dull and dead after all. Edward's head suddenly shot up and he smiled as he swiftly got up. _They're there aren't they?_ I knew the Cullens were probably around.

"Ya, we better go down" Edward replied_. I don't want to go down_. I didn't want to face them; what a wuss am I? I didn't want to face…Jacob, not yet.

"Don't worry, they are okay with everything and Jacob is not up yet. Plus Esme made omelets" Edward grinned at me. Right after he said that, a low growl came from me; I looked down and realized the sound came from my stomach. Oh, great…The leech knew me too well; actually he probably knew since half the time, Jacob and Seth vacuum up their fridge.

"Fine" I said as Edward offered me his hand. I took it and felt a very awkward sensation; it was like science when heat and cold mixed, it made a chemical reaction. He lifted me up slowly and then put his hands in his pockets. _Great now my hand smells like leech…oh well, my whole body already does, might as well smother myself in their clothes._

Edward smiled, and then pointed at his jacket. I rolled my eyes. _Very funny but no thanks_. Edward jumped down, onto the balcony and before I could think, I jumped right after him, landing perfectly on my feet; I guess I was fully recovered. I placed Jacob's jacket on the bed before going down the stairs with Edward. We started to walk towards the dining room and I realized I was biting my lip. _What the fuck? Why am I scared at some leeches? _Edward gave me an assuring look before we entered the dining room. The room smelled of omelets, toasted bread, chocolate, fruits as well as the sickly sweet vampire smell. The pixie one, Alice was helping Esme make the omelets while Emmett and emo-vamp were in deep conversation whereas Blondie and Bella [a.] were 'monitoring' Nessie as she ate [God, how fast does that kid grow. She looks like a pre-teen]. Bella was the first one to see us, and the minute she saw me, she looked away. _That's right bitch, I'm still alive. And I'm not too fond of seeing your sick face in the morning either! _I heard Edward let a low growl at my thought and I rolled my eyes. If he didn't want to know that, then he shouldn't listen.

"Hi Leah!" Alice jumped in front of me, all smiles. Everyone in the room finally glanced at me; the emotional one had a small grin on his face.

"Oh ya, I win. Third day, and you owe me 100 bucks Emmet" emotional dude, or what its Jazzy or something said to Emmet.

"Aww man! She-wolf, just one more day of you being unconscious would have been better!" Emmett whined. I raised my eyebrow as I saw Emmet pay Jazzy; were they betting on me, when I would wake up?

"Don't worry, Emmett and Jasper bet on everything. So how are you feeling?" Alice said; her voice was like chimes. It was like sweet yet clingy at the same time; I almost forgotten that he was in front of me. She's so tiny.

"Feeling a lot better, I guess" I answered honestly.

"Well, that's great news because we wouldn't want that to happen again" Alice giggled; chimes! I saw Edward give Alice a warning look but she ignored it.

"I've learnt my lesson." I laughed. Alice smiled and then stuck her tongue out at Edward; she's so childish and cute and small. Alice then left to help with the rest of the food while Esme came up to me.

"Well Leah honey, we have plenty to eat so help yourself. I bet you are starving" Esme said as she placed 3 omelets on a plate nearest to me; _you got that right! _She walked towards me and smiled.

"Nice to have you, up and healthy Leah. Take a seat" she said as she gave me a quick hug and went back to the stove; she's actually really sweet apart from the fact she drinks blood and she smells; but all the filled my nostrils were the smell of the food in front of me.

"Great Job staying cool" Edward whispered in my ear as he gave one pat on my back.

"Wasn't that hard I guess" I whispered back as I sat down and dug my fork into the 3 omelets together. I saw Blondie and Bella staring at me weirdly; _well screw you! I have been unconscious for three days and it's not my fault that you guys lost their taste buds and live on blood!_ I saw Edward smile from the corner of my eyes; see, I am entertaining. Then I realized Nessie looking at me, with a small smile. Wowee, she is really pretty. Too bad she's half leech but I guess I don't mind her since she's Jacob's imprint. The next thing I know is that, she places her hand onto of mine and images fill me head; images of Jacob. When he came home with me in his arms[I looked like a piece of dead meat], when he sat next to me, when he sulked over…me?, when everyone in the house was worried about me; she then pulled away and I caught my breathe. _Woah, a warning beforehand would be nice._

"I'm glad you're okay, Leah. Jacob and all of us were worried" Nessie spoke in her soft and sweet yet worried voice; god, she's so pretty.

"I know, I'm kind of cuckoo that way. I do the strangest things but I promise it won't happen again" I reassured her; she smiles and continues to eat her food. I looked at Edward and saw him giving me an approving smile and then his head shot up again and he got up and faced the dining room door; I looked at him, and somehow I had a feeling what was going to happen. I hear loud footsteps down the stairs, and the next thing I see is, Jacob, clutching on the doorway, practically fighting for breath; it had been so long since I saw him, he wore the same jeans that he wore _that_ day except he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Everyone, she's gone! She's-She's!" he yelled at everyone, panicking. "Leah's not there! She's GONE!"

"Jacob, its okay…" Edward tried to explain calmly; I don't think Jacob noticed me sitting behind Edward.

"NO! It's not fine! She's not there!" Jacob cut him off, yelling louder; what a drama queen. "She's gone! Where could she have gone?!"

"I'm right here, dipshit!" I yelled at him as I stood up, making myself look clear. Jacob's panic struck face suddenly vanished as he glanced at me; I put my hands on my hips and took a step forward, towards him. He just looked at me, with his mouth hanging a bit for like a minute before he realized there were other people in the room.

"Oh…oh, never mind" Jacob clarified to everyone; everyone grinned and then returned to their own work. I giggled; oh Jacob.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine. You have a 'nice' way to greet the day" I laughed as I walked towards him; he smiled and ran his hand through his black hair.

"Ya, I just was, I don't know, you weren't in your room so—do you feel better?" Jacob stuttered. I rolled my eyes at Jacob; I'm alive, ain't I? so that means that I am going pretty well.

"Ya, I'm feeling better. I feel healthy and I have food in my tummy so I'm good. Thank you, Jake, for everything" I exclaimed. I saw him look at the ground, uncomfortably; I knew he wanted to say something.

"Actually, I'm the one that needs to apologize. Lee, I am soo very sorry" Jacob looked at me, with his brown eyes; his eyes were filled with remorse, sadness and a bit of anger. I placed my hand on his.

"Jake, it isn't fully your fault. I did come off too strong, I knew how you felt, and I should have known better; it's not your fault Jake…" I was cut off but Jake, shaking his head from side to side; he looked at me annoyed and also angry.

"Stop saying that! God why does everyone say that it isn't my fault! Fucking hell it is! This is my entire fault! I am so sick of people thinking it wasn't my fault when it goddamn was!" Jacob yelled in frustration; he was mad because I am claiming it wasn't his fault? This guy is weird.

"Okay fine, Jacob! This was your fault. You were the reason that I tried to kill myself. Happy?" I said throwing my hands in the air.

"Yes, Thank you" he said sighing and then he glanced away; we didn't look each other for a while. After a minute, our gazes met and then we both bursted out laughing.

"I'm sorry Jake, but you know how weird that sounded?" I laughed.

"I know, I know" he smiled at me; I looked at him and patted his shoulder.

"You should totally go into soaps. Such a drama queen" I giggled. Jacob gave one of his warm smiles as his shoulders relaxed and he turned, towards me.

"Aww, you don't know how much I missed your comments, Leah" Jacob sighed heavily. The next thing I knew was, without a warning he grabs me for a huge hug, binding my arms against his chest; the one he used to give loser Bella.

"Love you, Lee!" He exclaims, making his grip tighter. I look at him and I let out a small laugh; across the room, I see Edward grinning at me. Jacob hold me closer to him, not letting me go; I think I am going to puke because of the pressure and corniness… but somewhere, deep inside, I don't think I wanted him to let go of me.

* * *

**Ta-da! Hi people! Sorry this took a while. School started and this year totally sucks so I've been sucked into the suck-fest. :P Anyways…again this was only supposed to be a ****half**** of Chapter 5 but it was too much so I spilt this into 2 parts. I am working on the next one right now… it would be out soon [It might be shorter though].**

**I like the Edward and Leah bonding and you'll see a lot of that. And since Leah is conscious, that means she'll be visited by some 'interesting' people *hint hint***

**Reviews are nice. I like constructive criticism as well so that I can avoid some mistakes.**

**I know in most of my chapter I have made some minor grammar errors [fail XP] and I'm really trying to avoid them so… ya.**

**xoxoxox**


	6. Because We Care

**Leah Clearwater**

I loved the sound of Jacob's laughter; it was cute but also it had the power to change the whole mood of the room. Kind of like Jazzy or Jasper's power but less annoying. We walked to the table and sat down, in a very positive mood; everyone was together and happy. Jacob gave Nessie a small hug and sat next to me.

"There are only couple of bacon pieces left, so here you go, Leah" Nessie, handed a plate of bacon to me; I smiled and generously took it. I took a piece and chomped on it, until I noticed, from the corner of my eye, Jacob eyeing the bacon; _Pig_. I rolled my eyes, and slowly slid the plate towards his hand; he looked at me, confused.

"Stop drooling and eat" I sighed and continued eating my piece of bacon. Jacob grinned and then mouthed 'Love you' and started hogging down the bacon; Meat-loving piggy.

I couldn't help to feel two pairs of eyes, gazing at me and Jacob. I looked up to see Edward looking at Jacob and me, with a concentrated look. _Dude, if you need to go to the toilet, you can go. No need for our permission._ Edward rolled his eyes, grinning and then continued to talk to Nessie; I could still feel a pair of eyes looking at me and I looked over, to see Jasper, grinning at me. It was a bit creepy; I mean his grin was evil looking, like he knew something that we didn't and that we should be scared; the dude was really creepy, with his ability and his scars and he's kind of freaking me out right now.

"Yo Jazzy, I'm alive, okay? You won the bet, now stop looking at me like I will die any minute now" I verified him. His grin changes to a more relaxed and okay grin as Emmett laughed at my comment. Bella grumbled while I saw a small smile appear and then disappeared on Blondie's face; I am entertaining, after all. Moments pass, before I see Edward, leaning towards Jacob.

"He's here" Edward whispered to Jacob and Jacob then nodded, looked at me and then got up; _who's here?_ I turned around to looked at Jacob and Edward, standing facing towards the door; they were mimicking the exact same thing that Edward did when Jacob ran down. I turned my attention to the door like everyone else did. Seth entered the door way ruffling his jersey, wearing a droopy expression; _oh my god, this is horrible_. I have never seen him this down; what was wrong with me? How could I have done this to him?

"Hi everyone' he announced in a low voice; okay, he's not right at all. It hurt me to see my brother like that.

"Hey Seth, how you're doing, man?" Jacob asked with a little concern in his voice. I couldn't help to notice a little resentment on Seth's face towards Jacob; _wow, does Seth have something against his alpha?_ I don't know how, but I sub-consciously got up and just gazed at Seth.

Just when Seth was about to answer to Jacob, he finally caught my eye; his eyes grew wide as his mouth started to slowly hang. Jacob and Edward looked at me and then moved to either sides, making an empty space between me and Seth; I gave him a weak smile while he started to frame words on his mouth.

"L-Le-Leah?" Seth stuttered as he took a step forward, a bit in a daze. I winced at his words; Guilt rushed into me. How could even think about leaving my baby brother behind? I just gazed at his eyes, which were a bit red and had small dark circles underneath them.

"Hey Seth" I replied just as weakly as he did; _Guilt!_ Seth choked a little before he ran to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his head in my shoulder. He nearly knocked the air out of me but I caught my balance. I felt Edward and Jacob lean a bit forward, but I could handle it.

"Seth, you're kind of crushing me here" I gasped as his grip began to tighten. He slowly loosened his grip, and removed his hands from around me, placing them on my shoulders and looked at me, with a bit of anger in his eyes.

"How could you do this, Leah? Why would you do this? You know how worried everyone was? You are really crazy! WHY LEAH WHY?" He started to yell, with a little irritation and pain in his voice; he slowly moved my shoulders. I felt everyone looking at us but I paid my attention to my brother.

"I'm sorry, Seth. I didn't know what went through me. I just thought that…that…" I got cut off by Seth.

"You thought what? That no one cared about you? Are you crazy? We were worried sick! But still, why would you go to this measure?" Seth growled. It was really unusual talking to Seth; he somehow sounded like an elder brother.

"I'm sorry. I just kind of _fell_ off the edge" I joked but it didn't seem to work. Seth still had hardened look and from the corner of my eye; I could see Jacob cringe at the words 'fell off the edge'.

"Don't. Even. Joke. About. It" Seth hissed.

"Look Seth…" I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I know what I did was stupid and it was a good thing that Jacob was there".

I quickly glanced at Jacob and saw him, looking at the floor with a blank expression; what's up with him?

"Yeah…" Seth rolled his eyes and then glared at Jacob for a moment. "You _were_ really lucky".

I crunched my eyebrows together as I noticed the glare that Seth gave Jacob. It was as if the words weren't meant for me, but for Jacob in a way.

"Anyway, I'm not going to leave you anymore; no funny stuff, got it?" Seth said; I rolled my eyes. Great my baby brother is going all parental.

"Sure whatever, how's mom doing?" I asked, concerned. Seth rubbed his head and blew his lips out; oh god, that can't be good.

"I can't say she's doing well. Actually she's been quite a mess; she was up most nights just waiting for news about you and she would rarely sleep. She finally stopped crying when Billy came over yesterday; she also got a wink of sleep, finally" Seth sighed. _Shit shit shit!_ This sucks; Oh god mom. How could I do this? Guilt!

"Oh shit… why would mom do that?" I groaned.

"She has a reason you know. Her daughter tried to kill herself; she has enough reason to be like this" Seth stated. Again, I saw Jacob dig his nails into the table, he was leaning on.

"Anyways, I think I'm healthy enough to go home…" I glanced at Edward; he nodded. "…so let's head out" I said, getting ready to leave.

"Hmm…I don't think it's a good idea to phase just yet, Leah" Edward spoke. "You're still recovering and it's also for the best"

"Okay then, I'll give Leah a ride home. Mind if I borrow your car, Edward?" Seth asked; Seth would do anything to ride the Cullens' vehicles. But you got to admit, they were cool and shiny.

"Actually, I was thinking of dropping Leah home. My car is anyways here and I think it's best if I take her home" Jacob finally looked up. I looked at Seth to see him, narrowing his eyes at Jacob in a way saying 'don't think so.'

"Look Seth, I need to explain to Sue everything and also I need you to go inform the pack about Leah's health. Mind doing that?" Jacob sighed. Was Jacob kind of pleading Seth, to drop me home?

"Fine, Whatever" he sighed, irritated as a sign of defeat. "Okay, I'll go wolf and inform the others. Just get her home, okay?" Seth asked Jacob; Jacob nodded.

"Oh, but please tell everyone not to ambush me at home. I'm still 'weak'" I suggested to Seth. _Right now, I don't need people coming over to pity me more. _Edward grinned and continued to talk to Bella and Nessie.

"Fine…see you at home" Seth said, kissed my forehead, took a muffin from the table and left the mansion. I blew out my lips and turned towards Jacob to see him, looking at his feet blankly.

"Jake?" I snapped my fingers at his face; his head flew up and gazed at me.

"You ready to leave?" I asked and he nodded. I waved 'goodbyes' and said my 'thank yous' to everyone (or people who deserved to be thanked) and left the house with Jacob. He opened the door for the Rabbit for me and I got in. He got in and started the car and headed down the road.

* * *

The ride was kind of quite quiet, surprisingly. I just looked at Jacob as he concentrated at the road, not even bothering to look at me. What's up with him? Just a minute he was all happy and jolly like Santa Claus and now he's like he just…not Jacob. The Rabbit came to stop and I looked at the white house, in front of me; it felt like it has been ages since I saw it. I heard Jacob sigh loudly; I knew he wasn't prepared to face mom.

"Don't worry Jake; you don't need to explain to mom. I'll tell her everything" I said. He finally looked at me, with a very saddened expression and gave a small nod. I gave a smiled as I opened the car door.

"Leah…" Jacob's voice stopped me and I turned to him.

"Yeah…?" I gazed at him as he shifted his body to face me. He looked a bit concerned; must be serious. He looked down at the seat and blew out air.

"I'm sorry, Leah…" He sighed, staring at the seat; I just looked at him, confused waiting for him to explain.

"I'm so sorry… for what I've done to you" He completed his sentence; he's still apologizing about me jumping off the cliff? Why?

"Hmm…Jacob, it's okay. It wasn't your fault…" I stated.

"No, let me finish" Jacob cut me off as he looked up. My eyes were screaming, confused and worried, while his more like pain and guilt.

"Leah, I never meant to hurt you, in anyway. I care about you; I shouldn't have let your words get to me. It was so stupid" Jacob confessed as he reached out for my hands. I looked at his hands and then at his pained expression.

"I know you didn't mean it, Jacob. I guess I kind of also got carried away with anger" I replied.

"No…" he simply said, looking at my hands as he caressed them. "You had a reason; you were just helping me, in a way. But I just interpreted it wrongly and I…" he choked. My eyes, sadly searched at his face; what's wrong with him?

"I just blew it…I mean, I literally blew it. I couldn't believe I did that; I'm horrible" he softly continued, with his brown sad eyes boring into mine. I opened my mouth to console him but nothing seemed to come out.

"I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave for that; I deserve that…" his voice started to crack. And out of nowhere, I saw his eyes getting a bit glassy. My eyes widen with shock; why is he crying? This is so not Jacob.

"Jake…Why are you—why are you crying?" I gasped, as I removed one of my hands from his grasp and gently touched his cheek; I couldn't see Jacob cry like this. He grabbed my hand back into his grasp and looked into my eyes, filled with pain.

"I would have lost you, Lee" he whispered.

"You've come to close to me, Leah. You mean too much to me now. I can't lose you like that" he confessed; his voice filled with pain. God, it was killing me.

"Jacob… You'll never lose me. You've come close to me too; you mean a lot to me too. I wasn't the definition of supportive but I can change, for you" I replied to him, welling up a bit inside.

"No…You don't have to change. I like the way you are. The same old Leah; it's me who needs a reality check" he gave a small smile; I returned it.

"Thank you" I said.

"No, thank you" he replied. _Could this get any cornier?_ But I guess it was sweet.

"Well, you better get home, Lee. Sue would be worried and Seth would crazy if you aren't home yet" Jacob cleared his throat.

"Yeah, see you soon, Jacob" I said.

"I'll come to check on you and call as well…" I wanted to protest when he cut off. "Because I'm your Alpha and you have to listen to me" he finished as I rolled my eyes.

"Sure sure, Alpha" I smiled and he returned the smile.

"Love you, Lee" he said as he gave my hands a squeeze and set them down.

"You too" I said as I went out the car and closed the door. I waved goodbye as Jacob's car reversed out of the driveway. I sighed and faced the house; this is going to be a total headache

* * *

Well, it has been almost a couple of days since I came back home and right now I'm here on the couch, on my boring ass, flipping through the channels of the television. I finally got a chance to get away from Seth and Mom. Seth was at Quil's place, playing on Quil's new Xbox which was a relief since for these few days, he was full on parental alert with me; he wouldn't leave my side, for anything but finally after the 100th time I told him I'm healed and I punched him to prove it, he finally relaxed and started to act like my same obnoxious baby brother. Mom finally looked alive since my return; boy, did she look dead. I still remember what a mess she looked like; her hair was all over the place, she has bloodshot eyes and dark circles under them and she looked like she was 10 years than she really is.

Note to self, never do anything this stupid causing your family to become zombies; it literally hurt to see them like that. My mom finally had the guts to leave me alone at home, while she went for her date with Charlie Swan, in the last week. I know, can you believe she's going out with him? I still remember how the conversation went when I found out.

"_I can't believe you, mom" I yelled at her as I stormed into the house._

"_Leah, let me explain…" she pleaded following me behind. I turned to her, with an agitated expression._

"_Explain what? That all you're so-called meetings were booty times with Charlie Swan?" I snarled. She bit her lip._

"_Leah, I'm sorry you had to find out this way…" she got cut off by me._

"_Tell me one thing…why Charlie Swan? Why Bella-Fucking-Cullen's father, Charlie Swan? And what's worse, he's one of dad's best friends! Why mom?" I pleaded, filling a bit of pain._

"_I know Leah, but Charlie was there when your dad wasn't and I love Charlie; I really do" she softly answered. I fell on the couch and looked at her, sadly and with anger._

"_But he's never going to replace dad!" I growled. She came and sat opposite me._

"_Of course he would never take place of your dad. I know you're confused right now but I love Charlie and he's a great guy. I like being with him but it doesn't mean that I stopped loving your father..." she said as she stroked my hair._

"_Your dad will always have a special place in my heart but doesn't mean that I can't love again Leah, does it? Love has no boundaries, Leah and I'm happy with Charlie. Can't you be happy for me?" she asked as I gazed at her, looking at her soft brown eyes._

"_I'm happy for you…And you're right. I guess I never knew love that way" I sighed and my mom gave be a tight hug._

_Ring! _I snapped out by the sound of the phone. Oh great, more grievances. Almost every time this week, people have been calling me to check on me. Of course the pack called the first few days, but it took them a while to tell their imprints so I was flooded with calls from them; Every. Fricking. Time. I normally let the machine get the calls but it gets annoying later. I remember I got one from Emily; surprise, surprise. I let the machine get that.

"_Leah? This is Emily. I just heard the news. Lee, how you could do that? Are you okay? I'm in the Makah Reservation to visit family and Sam just came today and told me what happened. Lee, that's crazy. I hope you're doing okay. I will come to see you soon as I come back. Take care."_

It was sweet that she scared about me. Emily is nice and it isn't her fault that she stole the love of my life…Okay, awkward.

It still hurts to see them together but I don't want to hold a grudge on Emily; after all, she's my cousin, family. I got a ton of calls from the pack, mostly from Quil, surprisely. Momma pedo was worrying about me; Aww. The machine took care of his messages too.

"_Leah? Leah? I know you're there, Leah. Pick up the phone" his voice commanded. "Pick up the phone"_

"_Quil, why don't you do this on your house?" I heard Jared say in the back ground._

"_Shut up Jared, I'm on the phone. Now Leah, pick up the phone. Don't joke with me. I know you're home!" Quil said; smart boy, rarely._

"_Pick up the goddamn phone, Leah" Quil yelled._

"_Dude! Watch where you place your anger and there's a child here!" Jared yelled in the background; of course, Claire would be there. Quil would never go anywhere without her; Pedo._

"_Quil? Whu you talking too?" Claire spoke. Aww, her voice and language has improved; It's been forever since I've seen her. She's growing._

"_Oh I'm talking to Aunt Leah, Claire" Quil answered to Claire, softly._

"_Oh! Can I speak?" She exclaimed in the background._

"_No, cause Leah is not on the phone. It's the machine" Quil said._

"_What are you, an idiot? Why are you yelling at the machine?" she said her sweet childish voice; I fell off the couch laughing, imagining Quil's expression at her comment._

"_Leah, I will kill you for teaching Claire that! NOW PICK THE PHONE UP SO I CAN VOCALLY KILL YOU!" Quil yelled and I heard a huge crack in the background._

"_Dude! You broke Kim's table! She's gonna kill me and I'm gonna kill you!" Jared growled in the background._

"_Oh…sorry man. Okay Leah, talk you later. Bye bye" he said._

"_Ohhh…Quil is going to get his ass kicked by Uncle Jared!" Claire giggled._

"_Argh! Leah!" Quil yelled before the phone cuts off._

_Ha!_ Boy, are those guys entertaining. The phone rang again; god, will this never end. I finally got my lazy ass and headed for the phone; might as well just talk and face them, maybe then they will leave me. Anyways, at least all the worst ones are over…or so I think. I soon as I picked up the phone, I was blown off by a loud yell.

I spoke too soon.

"YOU IDOIT! YOU SERIOUSLY WILL BE WISHING YOU WERE DEAD WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!" her voice blasted from the phone; I actually had the hold the phone away from my ear, to avoid going deaf. After the yell, I placed the phone at my ear and sighed, ready to face her wrath again.

"I'm guessing Paul and Jacob told you, huh?" I replied.

"YOU BET YOUR ASS THEY DID! How could you do this? To yourself?" she got a bit softer this time but the volume was ringing in my ears.

"Rach, you're going to break the phone" I heard a softer voice in the background.

"Shut up Becca. I need to teach Miss. Clearwater here a lesson!" Rachel yelled. Note to self, learn to check caller ID, and never pick up the phone from Rachel, after doing something irrational like killing yourself.

"Look Rach, I'm sorry…" I said, but was cut off by her.

"YOU'RE SORRY? HOW DOES THAT HELP? U TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF LEAH! WHAT ABOUT US? WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM OR SETH?" her volume increased.

"I know…it was just a sudden feeling" I tried to defend myself, but Rachel happened to be a good debater.

"A SUDDEN FEELING? What, you thought that 'Oh, let me go kill myself?'" I heard a chuckle in the background.

"No, I bet she just wanted to experiment how it would be like to be Bella" his irritating voice, echoed in the background. How dare he compare me to that pathetic little leech!

"What's Paul doing there? Does he have no home? Does he like live in your bed or something?" I irritated asked. Rach was about to answer but it was answered by Paul.

"Actually, more like in her pants" he snickered in the background; eww, too much unnecessary info. Just then, I heard a huge bang and the Paul's moan.

"Dude…ouch!" he moaned.

"That's my sister, you're talking about!" the other voice snarled. Oh great, Jacob is there; this should be fun.

"Rach, give me the phone" Jacob asked Rachel in the background.

"Ya, I'm hungry. Can we order some pizza?" Rebecca said. Way to be considerate, Becca.

"Way to be considerate, Becca" Jacob said my exact thoughts; Spooky.

"No, I'm not done with her! She needs to know how stupid and pathetic she is!" Rach yelled.

"I think she already knows that. I think all we do" Paul chuckled. Note to self, beat up Paul when get the chance.

"Rach, give me the phone!" Jacob commanded, coming closer.

"Alpha command doesn't work on me, Jacob! Now Leah, you better know—WOAH!" Rach was cut off and I heard the phone drop to the floor.

"Hello? Rach? Hello?" I questioned. I felt the phone be picked up. Next I heard Becca's voice.

"Hey Leah…sorry about that. Jacob kind of lifted Rachel from the phone; Rachel is yelling like crazy while Paul is growling at the fact the Jacob is man handling his imprint."

"Oh. So how long are you back here for, Becca?"

"Oh, just for a couple of weeks…" she was cut off by Jacob.

"Becca, give me the phone before I man handle you too"

"Okay chill, baby bro. I'm more mature than Rachel. Take care Leah and now my baby Alpha brother wants to speak to you" she handed the phone to Jacob as he snarled under his breath.

"Hey Lee, how you feeling?"

"Good like I did about 15 minutes ago."

"Just checking. Sorry about Rachel by the way"

"What would have happened if Becca and Rach became wolves?"

"Argh, don't remind me. I already have one harpy to take care of; I don't need them to worsen it."

"Hate you too, Alpha" I huffed.

"Anyways, tomorrow we're going to the Cullen's house"

"And why would I want to go? I already spent 3 days in there, unconscious."

"Because, Carlisle wants to have a regular check up on you so I'll pick you up at-OWWW!" he got cut off as I heard something hit him and he dropped the phone.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" he yelled away from the phone.

"Hey Leah…Sorry about that" Rach answered, in her regular tone.

"Did I tell you how entertaining your family is?"

"Ya… but after a while it gets annoying. Listen, I hope you get well and I'll come and visit you soon. My Alpha brother won't let us see you but I'll find my way around."

"You always do, Rach"

"I know… Get some rest and take care. Love you"

"Love you, too Rach" I smiled; Rachel has always been like a sister to me. Even though Rachel and Rebecca are so different and weird, I love them.

"THAT'S ALL YOU WANTED TO SAY?" Jacob screamed in the background. "You could have just told me to give you the phone rather than throwing that box at my head, you—" The phone got cut off.

I laughed and put the phone down. God, I pity Billy was taking care of these lunatics including Paul. I flopped on the couch again and flipped through the channels when I heard someone knock the door; I groaned, I thought I said no visitors.

"If you're here to pity me, then don't even think about coming in here!" I yelled, at the door gazing at the TV. The door flew open and in came, Embry wearing a smile and carrying a small packet. He was wearing jeans and a regular shirt, for once.

"Seth's not here" I said, since Embry and Quil normally always hang out with Seth and act like totally dorks.

"I'm not here for Seth. I came to see you" he replied with a smile.

"No pity" I announced again.

"No pity. Just here to take advantage of your TV and fridge" he exclaimed and dug into the packet and took out a popcorn packet and a DVD. "I was guessing you were probably bored out of your mind, so I thought maybe popcorn, a friend and 'X-Men-Last Stand' DVD would cheer you up" he beamed.

"Ah, I guess so. Cool, X-Men! I love watching it because it makes me feel less of a freak and plus Hugh Jackman with claws…Wowee! Put it in" I felt excited for some reason. I normally didn't want to be with people but for some reason I felt happy to see Embry.

* * *

"What do you think a nickname for me would be?' Embry asked as he popped popcorn in his mouth, lounging on the couch. The movie was over and now we were watching a random channel, eating popcorn and talking about the usual.

"Why would you want a nickname?" I asked sitting crossed legged on the couch, taking a piece of popcorn throwing it up and catching it with my mouth.

"You know, like you have Lee or Lee-lee. You know, as a short form" he stated.

"Argh, don't remind me of Lee-lee" I gagged.

"Sorry, but what would mine be? Em? Em-Em? Embi? E? Mr. E?" he listed; I chuckled.

"Mr. E? That's nice; very James Bond but…I think I like the name Embry. It's different like you" I said. A small smile grew on his face.

"Thanks Lee; god, I'm so happy you're back" He exclaimed.

"_Of course_, people would _so_ miss me" I joked.

"No shit…" he said but then his face changed to a concerned look. "Lee, can I ask you something?"

I looked at his concerned expression and took another piece of popcorn and chomped on it.

"Sure" I said. I was in the mood to have a conversation with Embry; he's a great guy.

"Why did you…you….try to kill yourself?" He hesitated; I knew I would be ambushed with that question but I had to face it. I couldn't lie to Embry; no use to lie.

"I just…let my emotions take the best of me. I thought I was just a burden on people and thought I would be better if I wasn't around" I sighed. I felt the couch shake a bit and I looked up to see Embry, with his lip drawn into a line.

"How could you say that, Leah? There are so many of us that care a ton about you! We were freaking out when we heard what happened!" he yelled (not as loud as Rachel though).

"Sue and Billy were sick with worry; Sam's pack was really shocked; I don't even want to explain how bad Sam was!" He exclaimed as I cringed at Sam again (seriously, what is wrong with me?).

"Quil would call everyone to get news on you and panic if we didn't know anything…and me…" he paused for a while as I gazed at his hurt eyes. "I couldn't even get myself to believe this happened. When I saw you, it was awful…I felt so hurt, Lee."

"You mean a lot to us. Don't even think you mean any less" he sighed and stroked my hair. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I cuddled close to him; it felt nice, very friendly and sweet. Over the years, I somehow gained a sudden comfort with my pack mates, especially Embry so this didn't bother as much.

"I'm sorry" I whispered against his chest.

"Don't be…" he sighed and held my tighter. "We were nothing compared to how Seth was. He was furious at Jacob".

What did he just say? I moved my head upwards to see Embry's face.

"Seth was furious… at Jacob? Are you serious? He didn't seem to be" I stated. Embry read my confused expression and sighed.

"Sure, Seth didn't show his anger towards Jacob and most people thought that he handled it well but he was furious. If you don't believe me, in the middle of the forest, there are a bunch of half broken trees which is Seth's work. He wouldn't even speak to Jacob's properly" Embry explained; I crunched my eyebrows together.

"That's not right. Why would Seth be furious at his alpha?" I asked and Embry held me tighter.

"Sure, Jacob is Seth's alpha, idol and everything actually but you're his sister. You're family; Seth loves you more than anything. And no one, not even his alpha can come past his relationship with you" Embry smiled at him; wow, Seth. My baby brother is growing up; I smiled at that thought.

"Thanks for being here, Embry" I said cuddling closer to him and leaning my head on his chest. "This is what I need right now."

"I'm always here, Leah. I love you, we all do. Don't even think you're not loved" He softly whispered, and gave a peck on my head and leaned his head on mine. The warmth and the thought of being loved made me feel so open and relaxed. Maybe Edward was right. There is always a reason to live; I think that's why my dad gave me another chance.

I slowly closed my eyes with a tiny smile on my face; tomorrow is a new dawn, after all.

* * *

**Ya! I'm so sorry for the delay. It's just been crazy. I have EID break but I have a ton of homework about 3 of them are essays in English, Drama and French and I have to finish it in one week. Fun fun **

**Anyways, I said this would be short but I was so wrong; it's the most I've written. I added a little drama and humor in it because well, I thought it needed it. Jacob is indeed totally guilty for what he did and the reason why Jasper is paying attention to Leah will be relieved later. **

**I made Rachel and Quil quite humorous since that's how I imagined their characters. For Embry, I made him closer to Leah and you could a see a possible connection with them. Clarifying on Seth's reaction to Leah's suicide, most people thought that he didn't show more emotion well it's an indication of his growing character. He was calm on the outside but he was angry within, like Embry mentions.**

**The next chapter would be Jacob's POV and I can't exactly tell when it will be out (My life is so messed up) but it's gonna be a lot of changes and drama *winks***

**Reviews are nice and I would like to get more reviews.**

**So see you guys later… I hope you'll like what I have in store for this story and others. XD**


	7. There, By Your Side I

**Jacob Black**

I pulled my lazy ass off the bed and dragged my feet to the toilet. I went up to the sink and splashed cold water on my face, and felt the water radiate into steam from my face; I didn't even need to use a towel. I pulled my old jeans up and let out a yawn, entering my room once again. I pulled up the curtains and the sun's rays hit my bare chest. I glanced at the clock, which was striking 8 o'clock; it's time for me to see Leah. She would be soo 'happy' to see me; I laughed, imagining her, roll her eyes over mine and Seth's over-protectiveness. Well, it's not my fault that Leah did something irrational like that………Oh shit; It was. I bit my lip as I felt guilt again run through my veins. Even though Leah and Seth was cool with me now (It took Seth a while to finally trust me and talk to me properly), I still couldn't stop this small resentment I felt inside; towards myself. I shook my head off those thoughts. Today's a new day; let's hope for the best and let everything go back to the way it was. I slipped into my sneakers, grabbed my shirt and skipped downstairs. I pulled my shirt over me, as I hit the bottom of the stairs when I heard noises coming from my living room. Then I saw my so-called sister and that jackass Paul, making out on the couch; not the best thing to see in the morning; especially when one of them is related to you.

"Ugh guys, its 8 o'clock in the morning! This is so not what I want to see! What are you, animals?" I groaned, pulling a disgusting look. Rachel pulled away from Paul's mouth and sat up to look at me over the couch, giving me a small smile.

"Does it count, if one of us is part wolf?" Paul asked, dimwittedly with a smirk on his face; god, this guy is so fucking horny and irritating. How could my sister even stand him, let alone kiss him?

"Shut it, Paul and mind getting off of him, Rach. I still haven't eaten food, but something is going to come out" I ordered and made my way to the kitchen to see, my dad talking to Rebecca over a cup of coffee. I gave a good morning nod and then took out an apple from the fridge, taking a bite of it.

"How's Leah doing, son?" Dad asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"She's doing well. She's getting her strength and all her sarcastic humor back, too" I replied and Rebecca gave a small grin.

"It's so unfair that you only get to see her" Rachel whined as she entered the kitchen and taking a seat next to Rebecca.

"You'll see her anyways today, in the evening. I just need to take her to the Cullens for a check-up" I said, finishing the apple, just when Paul entered and place his hands on the back of Rachel's chair.

"Aww…you're such a good nanny, Jacob" Paul snorted; everyone grinned. I chucked the apple leftover at Paul but he ducked, unfortunately.

"Jacob, no rubbish in the house" Dad announced.

"You heard that, Paul? Get out" I stated and Rebecca giggled, while dad tried not to burst laughing as well.

"Aww…that's no way of treating your future brother-in-law" he replied; I shivered at that thought and I swear, from the corner of my eye, I saw Dad almost gagging. It was just so bizarre seeing him as a brother-in-law; I don't know how Rachel agreed to marry him.

"Anyways, I think its sweet you're there for Leah, Jake" Rebecca spoke with a smile which I couldn't help but to return it back.

"Thanks, and I better be leaving now. See you lot later" I declared.

"Oh Jake…Can you deliver this, please?" Rachel exclaimed and handed me a golden envelope. I didn't need to even ask what it was; I nodded and dashed out of the house, into the Rabbit and headed for the Clearwaters. I pulled my car over at The Clearwaters driveway and headed for the front door. I took a quick glance at Leah's window before opening the front door; not knocking has kind of become a habit.

I was expecting either a snoring Seth or a dozed off Leah on the couch but instead I see Embry, spread out widely on the couch softly snoring, bare-chested. _What the--?_ I looked around to see, the pillows on the floor along with Embry's shirt, popcorn on the table and floor and the remote in Embry's dangling hand. I narrowed my eyes at him as I walked to his side; what is he doing here? Why is here? Had he come to see Leah? Or maybe Seth? In one swift move, I kicked the couch's leg, making the whole couch shake and knock Embry to the floor. My eyebrow rose as he softly moaned, and lifted his head to floor level.

"Morning, Embry" I said. I felt him pause for a second before looking up at me.

"Oh hey Jake, what's up?" he replied getting up to his feet. I crossed my arms across at my chest, gazing at his guilty expression.

"What are you doing here, Embry?" I asked as he put his hands in his pockets. Just when he was about to answer me, Seth entered the house, and both of our gazes went to him; he seemed kind of startled to see Embry too.

"Hey Jake and…Embry. What are you doing here?" Seth greeted and asked, directly to Embry. _So he couldn't have come to see Seth because Seth was on patrol_.

"Hmm…I came to see Leah last night" he finally answered and I looked at him again, raising my eyebrow.

"I though she and I said no visitors" I pronounced.

"I just wanted to check on her. I'm her pack mate after all, and she seemed to be okay with it" Embry shrugged. Check? I guess Leah and Embry kind of had a friendship when he joined the pack, but I was just curious.

"Oh…okay" Seth said. "Where is Leah, anyways?" he looked around. Oh yeah, I didn't even notice that Leah wasn't around.

"Oh, she kind of dozed off last night on the couch so I carried her to her room" he answered and then continued. "…and I kind of got tired, so I decided to crash here. You didn't mind, right?" I rolled my eyes at that question; _well, he already slept here, why would he ask now?_

"Sure man. You're just lucky that my mom didn't come home otherwise you would be answering to a lot of questions" Seth stated.

"She wouldn't have been the only one you would have been answering questions to" I said as I gave Embry a 'you-got-that?' look; he simply nodded.

"Well, I guess I better go now. Tell Leah, I'll see her later, okay?" he spoke.

"Sure sure" I shrugged while he grabbed his shirt and stuff, and left the house.

"Well, I am going to rest for a while. You taking Leah to Cullens?" Seth asked as he opened the kitchen cabinet and took out a chips packet.

"Yeah, as soon as she wakes up" I replied.

"Good Luck" he huffed as he left the kitchen and headed upstairs. I entered the kitchen and looked through the cupboards for any edibles; might as well make breakfast for myself and Leah. I took out a box and read it; _toaster waffles?_ That's good. I shrugged and took out one of the waffles and put it in the toaster. As I waited for that to be prepared, I raided through the fridge. Just then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and in view came, Leah rubbing her eyes, her hair in a bit of a mess and wearing her Dad's shirt and shorts. A smile grew on my face as she finally got a good look of me; she looked soo messy and also a bit cute in a way----_What the hell?_

"Morning, Lee" I greeted and she replied with a small groan as she sat at the table.

"Sleep well? Think you're back to normal?" I asked; she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" she said and then leaned over the table and punched my arm. "…And does that answer your question?"

"Not really, you're losing your touch, Leah" I joked and she scowled; I smiled since I loved to tease her.

"So what are your plans for today, all mighty Alpha? Apart from keeping an eye on me until I decay?" she spoke with her sarcastic humor; I so missed that.

"Well, you and I are going to go to the Cullens" I announced.

"Oh! I have a better idea…No" she exclaimed.

"Come on, Lee. I know you're fine but Carlisle thinks it's best if you could just come for a checkup, generally" I explained; I heard the toaster stop and ring.

"Argh, that sucks. I bet it's just an excuse to torture me and see the spawn" she groaned.

"You know me too well" I smirked as I took out the waffle, and danced it on my hand. "But please Lee, just this once. You're anyways warming to the Cullens"

"I know, but it doesn't mean that I want to spend my life with them" she rolled her eyes and reached out for the waffle, but I pulled it away.

"What makes you think this is for you?" I said.

"Cause it's my house and my waffle" she replied and tried to reach for it, again.

"Correction; your house but my waffle" I smiled.

"Give it, Jake. I'm hungry" she spoke and leaned forward to catch it. I put the waffle in my mouth, smiling and dangled it in front of her.

"Pff, you dog. Some way to treat a girl" she snorted. I bit into the waffle before putting it back on the plate.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're a girl?" I stated and the next thing I knew was a plate, hurled towards me but I was ducked it and heard it smash into pieces, against the wall. I turned to face Leah, only to see her nowhere; _did I hurt her, again?_ I was about to apologize to her when I felt her tackle me from behind, onto the floor; I shouldn't have let my guard down. The next thing was that my head was pressed against the floor with the force of her hand, she was sitting on back and the other hand was bending my foot towards my body; damn, she's strong.

"What did you say, Black?! HUH? Take It Back!" she demanded, pulling my foot more forward, sending a small jolt of pain through my leg.

"Oh god Leah, seriously!" I replied, and couldn't help to laugh a bit. I wasn't surprised that Seth didn't wake up with all this chaos; that kid can sleep through an earthquake. Well, most of us could.

"Say it Black!" she snarled.

"Fine sorry, my bad!" I confessed; I let her have it…or she thought. She let loose of my leg and my head but still sat on my back, snorting; Perfect time. Suddenly, I turned under her, got hold of her wrists and flipped her over, making her lay below me; she was indeed startled by my action but I just smirked at her face.

"Never ever let your guard down, Lee. Especially around me" I grinned, inches away from her face as she rolled her eyes and then stuck her tongue out at me; my smile grew wider at her childish reply. I just gazed at her face, for what felt like few minutes before I laughed and rolled off of her, to her side. I looked to the side to see her, looking at me smiling too; she really looked nice and different when she smiled.

"Okay, go get ready Lee. We better leave" I declared as I slapped her stomach, and got up. I stuck my hand out, and she grasped it and got up, but due to my strength she ended up crashing into me; I smiled at her as she looked at me and rolled her eyes. I let go of her hand and sat back on the table, taking hold of the waffle again.

"Look what you did Lee…" I said, pointing at the smashed pieces. "You better clean that."

"Whatever, mom" she huffed.

"Don't take so much time" I said.

"Sure sure" she said, fizzing her hair. I was about to bite into the waffle when she took it from my hand. I looked at her, and saw her taking a bite of it, giving me a wink before disappearing upstairs. I would normally be kind of pissed if someone stole my food but I just rolled my eyes, and a smile tugged on my face. Right after I heard her room door close, Seth's room door opened; it's like one Clearwater leaves, the other enters. He came downstairs, all dressed (well, he was wearing a shirt, now) and looking at his phone; he finally looked up and saw the shattered pieces on the floor and then back at me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Leah. Don't worry, I'll take care of it" I shrugged and then took the dust pan and small broom, and started collecting all the pieces.

"Oh thanks Jake. Hmm…I'm going to be going out for a while, okay?" he said, looking at his phone screen again; I raised my eyebrow.

"Oh, going to Quil's?" I asked as I tossed the pieces into the trash can, and place the dust pan and broom back in the cupboard.

"Hmm…maybe, I don't know. Anyways, tell Leah I'll be back later. Okay, bye man" Seth stated before he left the house; _wow, that was weird._ Just then I heard Leah groan, angrily and came downstairs wearing a tight white shirt, with a kind of flurry short-sleeves and her black cut-off jeans. I grinned as she stood in front of me with an annoyed expression.

"Where. Are. My. Clothes?" she snarled at me.

"What are you talking about, Leah?" I asked innocently but it didn't work on her.

"My clothes aren't my clothes. They are all like this" she stated pointing at her shirt. I bent to read the wordings on her shirt.

"Irresistible" I read the silver writing, written across her shirt on the…chest area.

"Jacob, that doesn't give you a reason to stare at my breasts" She snapped and I grinned at that comment and started to stare more and leaned forward, but she slapped me away; I chuckled at her annoyed look.

"Kidding Leah, Alice is the one who bought those for you" I confessed.

"The Pixie Cullen? Oh great, the leech brought me crap…" she said, rolling her eyes.

"She said that you needed a new wardrobe and that she was sick and tired of you wearing the torn clothes, that if she saw you wear them again, she would kill" I laughed.

"Ugh, whatever" she groaned. "Come let's leave and visit those darling bloodsuckers of yours" she said, in her sarcastic tone. I just nodded; we left the house, got into the Rabbit and headed for The Cullen's house. She switched on the radio and started humming to that Evanescence's song… 'Call Me When You're Sober' or something like that; I just smiled as she started to shake her hair a bit with the beat of the song, that I almost forgot to keep an eye on the road.

"Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me…" she sang along with the music before something caught her eye. She slowly picked up the golden envelope that Rachel had told me to deliver and just observed it; my smile fell the moment she gazed at the golden envelope.

"What's this, Jake? An invite to kill Paul on his wedding day?" she snorted.

"I wish…" I grinned for a second before it dropped again. "Hmm…actually, it's a…hmmm…"I tried to frame the words; _oh god, she was going to kill me. I mean look at the way she is looking at me right now!_ She had her eyebrow raised thinking I was going mental whilst she twirled the envelope in his hand; I took a big breath in, and let it out in one gust and looked at her.

"It's actually…Sam and Emily's wedding invitation" I said in a low voice. The instant I said those words, her face dropped and she looked at the dashboard; I felt like I wanted to place my hand on her shoulder, but I didn't because pity was one of the things she hated.

"Ohhh…" was all that escaped from her mouth, her gaze still on the golden envelope in her hands.

"You okay, Leah?" I asked after a long pause. She sighed and then placed the invitation back in its place and looked at me with a weak smile.

"I'm fine" she shrugged and looked ahead. I gave a weak smile back before paying attention to the road again. I wasn't going to push her to talk; I knew she was probably in deep thought. I think we both knew it was best if we brushed past it, so we just continued at our ride to Cullens' house as the song played '…_Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind.'_

************************************************

**Okay, this is part 1 of Chapter 7. Part 2 will be out shortly [maybe. I'm kind of sick but it is an advantage since I have time to write but still] and that will take place at the Cullens and Clearwater's place. The next chapter may be half Jacob's view and the other half would be a third person's view. I'm actually reading Breaking Dawn again to refresh my mind again xP**

**I know this was kind of short but I just decided to make it two parts [the other part would also me quite short]. Now you start to see some difference and changes in characters, so keep an eye out. The next Chapter you'll see Leah's relation with the other Cullens and she would be 'visited' by her 'pity-ers' =P. So ya…**

**Anyways... I hope you liked the story so far and Reviews are nice. Please XD Criticism is also appreciated if you have a doubt or suggestion or a problem.**

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	8. There, By Your Side II

**Jacob Black**

That moment passed sooner than I thought, actually; I guess she was actually okay with it. She was back to making sarcastic comments and singing along with the songs.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up don't want to hear it, get out, get out, get out, get out of my way…" she sang, trying to not yell the words out loud; I simply chuckled. We finally reached Cullen mansion and I saw Edward standing outside, with his hands in his pockets, and Alice, beaming. Leah saw them and stopped singing, letting out a sigh. I smiled as I stopped the car, unbuckled my seat belt and took the envelope in my hand.

"Don't worry, it'll end soon. I promise" I winked at her, as she groaned and got out of the car; I did the same thing as well. We both walked up to them as Alice kind of glided towards us, while Edward just stood there with a small tug on his lips.

"Yay! You wore the shirt I got… but what are with those horrible pants?" Alice exclaimed in her happy-turned-murderous voice.

"These are my favorite pants; they're nice" Leah said, stroking her pant's material.

"Huh... Honey, those pants are not nice. They belong in the trash can" Alice replied, looking disgusted at it; I couldn't stop smiling at Leah's shocked expression.

"Well, I like them and I don't appreciate you sneaking into my room and changing my clothes" Leah stated, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I didn't put change your clothes; Jacob did. I just bought them and gave him to take it to you, which by the way was mission failed" Alice explained, raising her eyebrow at me; my eyes widened at Alice as Leah, closely turned towards me, with a clenched jaw. _Oh boy._

"You did it?" she spoke, through her teeth.

"Well… she forced me. I was defenseless" I cried, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Right, because she's about 4 foot 11 and sparkles, while you're about 6 foot 6 with muscles and also turns into a giant dog; oh, she soo beats you" She sarcastically replied, rolling her eyes at me; Alice let out a small giggle while Edward gazed at the floor as his smile widened a bit.

"Well, I don't know why you're making a big deal about this. The stuff she got was nice and would look good on you" I shrugged and she turned forward, following Alice to the house; I did the same thing_. Anyways, there was this really hot red dress which would especially look good on a body like hers-and what am I saying?_ I looked up to see Edward looking at me, with a raised eyebrow and a smile; a smile? Huh...that's kind of odd. I shrugged, embarrassed and followed him to the house. The vast living wasn't packed with people but Emmett and Jasper playing cards; No sight of Esme, Carlisle, Blondie or Bella. Then I saw Nessie walking towards us, with a smile plastered on her face. It felt like forever that I last saw her; I couldn't feel guilty (because of the stupid pull crap); it's as if I missed half her life, literally. She was long and lean, her hair was longer, she was getting a figure (_I'm not trying to sound perverted okay? I'm just pointing out what's different;_ I felt Edward let out a sigh), and her features were developing. I even lost count of how old she is.

"Hey Jacob, Hey Leah" she greeted us each with a hug; I was surprised that Leah didn't flinch.

"Hey! It's the alpha dog and she-wolf" Emmett said, beaming at us; Leah and I rolled our eyes at the same time. Jasper gave a smile to both of us after our reaction to Emmett's greeting.

"Hey Ness, how have you been?" I asked her, politely.

"Oh, I have been good. How about you Leah? Feeling better?" she said turning her attention to Leah.

"Much better. Your imprinter though, would never leave my side" She _falsely_ complained about me.

"Well, he's like that. But at least you were able to heal, with the help of him" Nessie said, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Ya, I guess so" Leah replied. I just smiled and so did a lot of people, surprisingly. Just when the mood was good, Blondie had to show up.

"I thought I smelt dogs" she huffed; _she and her comments can go_—I got interrupted by Edward, clearing his throat at me.

"Not a pleasure to see you too, Blondie" Leah and I said in unison before looking at each other, smiling at each other, impressed; from the corner, I saw Jasper's smile widen a bit more.

"Whatever, Carlisle is upstairs and he's expecting the girl dog to come" Blondie articulated.

"Fine, I'll take her up" I said almost taking hold of Leah's hand.

"No, I'll take her up" Alice exclaimed.

"You know what, I don't mind taking her" Nessie offered.

"You guys, know that I can walk right?" Leah stated a bit irritated with the argument.

"Actually, Carlisle sent me to get her, so…" Blondie finally spoke. My eyes widened at her words and then I gazed at Leah, who was a bit stunned as well. _There is no way in hell, I'm leaving Leah with that Blond_-I was cut off by Edward's words.

"Okay Rose, you can take Leah to Carlisle" He spoke. Rose nodded and walked towards Leah; Leah just shot one glare at Edward, which made him smile.

"Don't worry, nothing will happen. Besides you're the wolf bitch, you'll be fine" Edward replied to I think one of Leah's thoughts. Everyone was stunned by Edward's reply; wow, who knew the leech had it in him? Leah gave Edward a quick smile before leaving with Blondie, to go upstairs.

"Well…Come on Jake, Mom and Esme are in the kitchen" she said as she took my hand and led me to the kitchen; everyone followed. Esme was cutting what looked like pasta while Bella was arranging some fruits in a bowl; she looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey Jacob, long time no see" she said, smiling as she placed the bowl at the middle of the table; she sounded like the old Bella.

"Yeah, sorry about that…" I said, sitting down with Nessie next to me.

"I was on Leah duty. I brought her here today, to check with Carlisle" I stated. Bella's face instantly fell when I mentioned Leah; they both still hated each other, of course. Her mouth formed an 'O' before retreating to help Esme. Esme came and placed a plate of pasta in front of me and smiled before going back to the wash basin; _Man, she knows what a wolf wants. _Edward grinned, shaking his head slowly as I dug a fork into the pasta and into my mouth (or what Blondie calls my 'garbage disposable').

"Oh, I almost forgot…" I said and took out the invite.

"This is for you, guys" I said, handing the invite to Nessie.

"What is it?" Bella asked, looking over Nessie.

"It's Sam and Emily's wedding invitation" I said, taking another bite of the pasta.

"Are you serious? Emily and Sam are finally getting married?" Bella asked; of course, she would be surprised since she knew how long they have been holding up the wedding.

"Why would they give us an invite?" Edward questioned.

"Yeah, well Bella and Emily kind of got close and Emily wanted her to come. So she had to get her way through Sam to finally get you, Bella and Nessie to come. Sorry, the rest of you Cullens" I explained, and looked at the other Cullens in the room.

"Aww…we can't crash the dog's wedding!" Emmett frowned and folded his arms across his chest.

"It's okay, I mean I love weddings and human gatherings and all but Nessie will anyways show us what will happen" Alice replied with a smile, wrapping her arm around Jasper's arm.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of **Sam Uley** and **Emily Young**, on the 5th of March at the Riviera Gardens at 3;00 in the afternoon. Drinks and Food will be provided. Please wear formal wear. You are allowed to bring a guest. Thank you" Nessie read out the invite.

"Please wear formal wear?" Bella giggled in her new vampire giggle.

"Well, most are pack members and we aren't exactly used to wearing clothes period, let alone normal clothes" I explained with a chuckle.

"It would be so cool! My first real human gathering!" Nessie exclaimed; she sounded so much like Alice, when she was high.

"Yeah and don't worry about the sunlight. We won't expose you, guys" I pronounced which earned me an approving nod from Edward and Bella. Then my thought wondered somewhere else; _what is going on with Leah? I don't hear any snarling, growling or storming away? Did they kill each other?_

"Don't worry, she's fine" Edward answered.

"I wouldn't be too sure with Leah" I replied.

"You and Leah do have a very interesting relationship" Jasper, finally spoke since we came; I looked at him, weirdly.

"Hmm…not really. I mean we both understand each other, we are competitive, we are wolves… we have some similarities" I shrugged.

"More like a lot similar" Alice said.

"I guess" I said; what brought that question up? Just then I heard footsteps coming downstairs; oh good, there are two pairs of footsteps. I went out to the living room with everyone and saw what I just couldn't believe. They weren't arguing or totally ignoring each other, but they were actually talking to each other, smiling. _Smiling?_ Did Carlisle give them, drugs or something?

"…But I got to hand it to you. Taking care of a pack full of male dogs, must take a lot of effort" Rosalie said to Leah, as a compliment I think; what the fuck?

"But having this harpy, we have to learn to take care of ourselves" I replied, butting into their conversation; Blondie just glared at me.

"Trying to push her off the cliff again, mutt?" she slyly spoke. My expression dropped. Damn it.

"Rose, it's okay. I'm used to it" Leah said to Blondie. _Did she just call Blondie, Rose? _What the hell? Who is she and what have they done to Leah?

"No, it's not. He should know by now and you shouldn't let that get to you, ever again" Blondie stated, placing her hand on Leah's shoulder; I raised my eyebrow at the fact that Leah didn't even try to shake it off.

"I promise. Scout's honor" Leah replied and lifted her arm up, sticking out her index and middle finger together, to make a Scout's sign; Blondie and Edward smiled.

"Woohoo! She-wolf in a Scout uniform; Hot! I mean, although I prefer my females as non-dogs but you're sexy enough for me to say 'Hell ya'" Emmett screamed with glee, giving a wink to Leah. I let out a small growl at him, and surprisely Edward, shot Emmett a glare.

"Did I tell you how horny your husband is?" Leah told Blondie.

"I know, but it's one of the things I love about him" she replied and Emmett blew her a flying kiss; eww…Vampire love. Leah then gazed at Edward for a few seconds, before a smile appeared on his face; what was she thinking?

"I honestly don't know. You can ask" Edward replied to Leah's thought but she just shrugged; what did she think? And since when has she and Edward become friends?

"Can we leave, Alpha?" Leah said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm…Sure, and let me know if you guys can make it to the wedding" I said, trying to lower my voice at the word 'wedding' but it kind of didn't work.

"Oh we wouldn't miss it for the world. We will be definitely coming" Bella said instantly; Edward gave a nod while Nessie clapped her hands, excitedly.

"Oh great, leeches coming to a werewolf's wedding. That's going to be interesting" Leah mumbled; I shrugged and then hugged Nessie, goodbye.

"Come soon!" Alice exclaimed, waving us goodbye.

"Sure sure" Leah and I said in unison, again and got into the car.

* * *

**Leah Clearwater**

Well, I was in the bathroom, slipping on a plain blue shirt (one of the clothes, Alice bought me) over my head; I guess the pixie Cullen has okay taste. I splashed some water on my face, and gently wiped it off using a towel. Mom said that I need to look good in front of people; oh didn't I mention? Everyone is coming over to offer me pity. Fun, right? I rolled my eyes as I brushed my hair. I had come back from the Cullens house for my check-up, a few hours ago and now I am here to greet all my 'pity-ers' (It's not a real word; I know).

"Leah, come down. Guests have started to come" My mom called out from downstairs. I don't think my pack, Sam's pack and their imprints are exactly known as 'guests'. I let out a sigh of regret before going downstairs, to face everyone.

"You didn't pick any of my calls" Quil stated, crossing his arms across his chest when he was the first to come; and of course, Claire was with him, wearing a cute yellow dress and looking a lot older (I should be used by now to see kids grow fast; after all, Nessie has been doing that).

"Aunt Leaahhh!" she squealed as she ran to me, embracing my knees. I bent down and scooped her in my arms.

"Hey Claire, how have you been?" I asked her, tickling her belly a bit.

"Fine, Quil was worried about you" Claire giggled.

"Aww…momma pedo was worried? So sweet" I chuckled and looked at Quil, still with the same expression.

"Shut up" he snarled.

"Quil, not in front of the child" I gasped, acting all dramatic as Claire giggled in my arms.

"Oh 'shut up' is nothing compared to the other stuff you've thought her" he huffed; _hey, at least I'm her fun cool aunt!_ I gave her a quick hug and put her down.

"I'm sorry, Momma. I made a mistake" I apologized, rolling my eyes and walking towards him, giving him a quick pat on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Leah, but I was worried you know" he whined.

"Okay, don't get all soft on me" I replied and he smiled; then he took Claire outside to play with Kim and Jared.

"There you are!" I heard a voice yell, from behind of me. I turned around and was instantly tackled into a hug by Rachel Black. She pulled away and I could see Rebecca, smiling warmly at me and Paul, standing weirdly next to Rachel.

"Finally, I got to see you. You look….actually really great" Rachel spoke.

"Thanks, I feel great" I said and I saw Paul mumble 'Damn it'; I just rolled my eyes at me and turned my attention back at Rachel.

"My oaf of a brother has been taking care of you I can see" Rachel said, grinning.

"Well yours and mine" I smiled back.

"Good to see you Leah. How was your check-up?" Rebecca asked.

"Oh, it went fine" I replied.

"House full of vampires, must be kind of weird" Rachel whispered.

"Well, at first but then the amount of times I've been there, it grows on me" I shrugged. "Where's Billy?"

"Oh, he and Jacob just wanted to catch the last minute of the Florida-California game" Rebecca stated.

"Oh, they didn't see that? Florida won 5-3" I simply spoke.

"What? I was taping the game! Thanks for ruining it, Clearwater" Paul groaned, with frustration; I smiled with satisfaction.

"Rachel! Rebecca!" I heard Kim call out; Rebecca gave me one last smile before walking towards Kim.

"Well, I guess I'll speak to you later. We haven't seen each other in ages and we must do something" Rachel pleaded and I just nodded. She gave me a quick hug and left to join Kim and Rebecca; I was surprised to see Paul, not go after her but stand in front of me, biting his lip.

"Hmm…so how are you feeling?" he asked rather uncomfortably.

"Good, I guess."

"Hmm…It's been kind of quiet with you…not around."

"Hmm Paul, are you trying to be nice to me?"

"Yeah, it's not working is it?"

"No."

"Oh well then, I better go then."

"Nice try, though" I stated and he left after his imprint. I rubbed my head; _okay, this isn't so bad. It's going well, all is good._ The door bell then rang.

"Leah, mind getting that?" Mom called out, since she was talking to Quil Sr and being all lovey with Charlie, like holding his hand. I ignored them and went and opened the door. There was Billy on his wheelchair and Jacob behind him, holding the wheelchair handles; they both had a similar smile plastered on their faces.

"Hello Leah, how are you today?" Billy asked, kindly; I liked Billy. He was unlike other parents, in a way; he was supportive and kind of like a father figure to me when dad wasn't around. Plus, he was really fun and cool.

"I'm doing well. Although your obnoxious son and my brother should really get a life" I snorted and Billy let out a laugh.

"Nice having you around too, Lee" Jacob replied, with a grin. I gave him a smirk and then I felt Billy take a hold of my hand, gently as I gazed at him.

"I'm glad you're okay, Leah and hope nothing like this happens ever again. I don't want to lose someone like you; it would be like losing a daughter" Billy spoke, in a caring and soft voice; a small smile appeared on my face, as I looked at this sweet old man, on a wheelchair.

"Thanks Billy" I said, just as sincerely and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he hugged me back; it felt nice, to have someone like him around. I pulled away and saw Jacob with a supporting smile on his face.

"Oh Charlie is here, excuse me" Billy exclaimed, as Jacob left the handles and Billy wheeled himself towards mom and Charlie. Turning back to Jacob, I noticed his hand stuck out in front of me, holding a square shaped box.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Just something to bring your spirits up" He shrugged; I raises my eyebrow as I slowly unwrapped the package and gazed at it.

"Cookies. Wow, and you didn't eat any? One of my food weaknesses, how did you know?" I astonished him.

"We've known each other for years, Lee and besides who do you think was the one that you stole cookies from when I was in the 2nd grade?" Jacob spoke, crossing his arms across his chest; I can't believe he remembered that.

"Well, I was hungry and you were offering" I said, backing myself.

"I offered you one piece, not the entire packet" He replied.

"Well, it was years ago. Anyways, thanks. I'll keep these inside" I said, turning and walked to the kitchen; I placed the cookies on the table and chuckled, remembering what happened with Jake's cookies. I sneakily took one cookie piece and popped it in my mouth; pure goodness.

The next thing I knew was another hand stuck out in front of me, except it was carrying a box of chocolates; my other weakness. Who knows this stuff? I took the box and turned to see Embry, smiling at me, from ear to ear.

"Embry, hey" I exclaimed.

"Hey Leah, thought you might like these" He said, gesturing towards the box in my hand.

"Oh, I love it, though you make me feel like a pig" I groaned as he laughed.

"Fine next time, I'll ask you what you want" He suggested; Aww, he's so sweet.

"Thank you Embry, for being there for me last night. I really needed that" I said and leaned in and surprisely, kissed his cheek. I pulled away to see Embry, with eyes widened, his mouth slowly dropping down and the cheek I kissed, turning a light shade of pink.

"Hmm…err…D-Don't…me-mention it, Leah" he stammered, rubbing his neck nervously; I giggled at his shy behavior. Then I heard someone clear their throat from behind me and turned to see Jacob, walking towards us, looking at Embry.

"Oh, hmm…hey Jake" Embry greeted rather nervously at our Alpha.

"Hey Embry" Jake replied, with his eyes a bit narrowed at Embry; _okay, this is my cue to leave_. I quickly and quietly snuck out of their awkward conversation and headed upstairs, to my room_. I already met everyone now I want to be alone_. I slipped out of my pants and into my boxers and flopped on the bed, taking out my book and silently reading; _I feel better, no one to talk to, no grievances, I met everyone, and not everything is back to normal_.

That is when someone knocked on the door; oh great, this will never end. I turned my gaze towards the door and in came Emily looking worried. What's she doing here on short notice? Well of course, she must have heard my incident and came to see how I was. But she wasn't alone; behind her was Sam, holding his hands together and looking at the floor.

I sat up straight although I felt a little uncomfortable that they both were in my room and the fact that I was in my boxers. After 3 seconds of awkward silence, I suddenly felt Emily, wrap her arms around me, pinning my hands to my body making it hard for me to move; this girl can be strong when she wants to be.

"Oh thank god, thank god, thank god…" she muttered, under her breath, stilling holding on to me. I just sat there; waiting for her to retract her arms, otherwise there would be serious damage. She finally pulled away and looked me, with her eyes almost filled with tears; what is up with her?

"Don't ever do that, ever again okay?" she practically yelled at me.

"Em…what are you doing here?" I asked her and shifted my gaze to Sam, who was still looking at the floor, and then back at her.

"I just came back from Makah Reservation and I had to see you. How could you do this Leah? Promise you won't do anything like this ever again" she spoke; I could tell that she was really close to tears and I didn't exactly wanted to see her cry right now.

"I won't Em. I promise about a hundred people I wouldn't do anything like this again and frankly, I'm over it" I explained.

"What made you do such a thing?" she asked me, desperately. I could see Sam, getting a bit uncomfortable; _well of course, he would be. I mean his ex-girlfriend and fiancé are having a talk here._

"Let's just say I was a little emotionally distressed" I stated and saw Sam, make a face at my words.

"Well, I hope you're feeling better. I was worried about you and somehow I felt like it was my fault" she sighed and looked at her hands; I raised my eyebrow.

"What? No Em, you're not the one to blame, at all" I said, and again from the corner of my eye, I could see Sam biting his bottom lip.

"I felt like it was. I want everything to go back to the way it was before, Lee" Emily pleaded, and looked at me with those big brown (yet scarred) eyes. I patted her hand, which was on my lap.

"Emily, we can't go totally back to the way we were but I still care about you. You are family and my friend after all" I spoke, truthfully; I never wanted to hold a grudge on her. It just hurt to see them happy like that, that's all.

"I guess so, and I'm okay with that" she said, with a small smile.

"Oh well, I heard about the wedding…" I said trying to change the topic (even though it wasn't the best topic to choose, but whatever)

"It's really soon, huh?" I said. I saw her eyes drop down to my lap as her fingers, stroked my hand.

"Hmm…about that, Leah…" she said, softly and then looked up and continued "…you don't need to come if you don't want to. I mean, you don't need to be a part of it or even come. I mean, you've been through a lot and we understand if you want to back out."

I thought about it was a minute before answering her; _they were giving me an option and now I have an excuse not to go…so what should I do?_ I knew my answer.

"No…No, I'll be there. Not as a guest, but as one of your bridesmaids" I sighed and looked at her. I noticed her and Sam's eyes widened a bit; of course, they were surprised with my decision (I was too).

"Are-are you sure, Leah? You don't have to—"she stuttered but I cut her off.

"I don't have to…but I want to" I said, giving her a small smile. I saw a huge smile grow on her face at my reaction.

"Oh Leah, thank you. You don't have to worry about anything. I'm just happy that you're okay and will be there" Emily exclaimed and gave me a tight hug; I returned it, not as eager though. I was just happy that it didn't end in war and tears. She pulled away and looked at me, with thankful eyes.

"Emily!" I heard Rebecca call from downstairs.

"Well, I better say 'hi' to the guests. Thanks again Leah" she said, as she got off the bed.

"Don't mention it" I said; _literally_. She left my room but then I realized that I wasn't alone in my room. I had totally forgotten that Sam was standing in the corner, looking at the floor; _oh fuck, what now?_ He lifted his head up and took a step forward towards my bed, letting out a sigh.

"Lee-lee…" he said; I cringed at the name (again) and felt a bit of anger run into me as he continued "…You don't have to come…"

"Like I said, I don't have to come but I want to come" I huffed and looked at his sad eyes. "I'm not doing this for you, Sam. I doing this for Emily and a bit…for myself" I sighed, and looked at my lap.

"Lee-lee, I'm sorry…for whatever I did…" he voice cracked a bit; _oh no! Not this again! I can't do this again, it's too much. Not now! I don't want to hear!_ I wanted to just cover my ears with my palms and scream but I knew I couldn't hide away from it. But I don't want to hear it now! Just then, my wish was granted when Jacob walked into the room; I never knew I would be so relieved to see my Alpha.

"Hey Lee, your mom asked me if—" he spoke but stopped when he looked up and saw me and Sam; he narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys were talking" he said, lowly.

"No, it's okay…" I said to him and turned my gaze to Sam.

"Sam was just about to leave" I stated. Sam looked at me, then at Jacob and then at me with a pained expression before leaving my room. I let out a deep sigh; it was no longer suffocating. Jacob looked at the doorway, where Sam had left with his eyes still narrowed and then walked up to my bed, and sat down looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Hey, was he troubling you?" he asked, concerned.

"No worse. He was _feeling pity_ for me" I huffed and laid my head, back on my pillow.

"You okay?" he asked, patting my leg.

"I'm fine, Jake" I sighed.

"What did he and Emily wanted to talk about?" he questioned.

"About me backing from the wedding, which I'm not going to do" I said, staring at the ceiling above.

"Are you sure, Lee?" he asked, also sounding shocked.

"I'm positive. It may be really hard but I want to blow past it, once and for all" I declared.

"Well, I'll be there since I'm one of Sam's groomsmen" Jacob sighed.

"Why are you, Sam's groomsmen?" I asked, looking at him as he chuckled.

"I know right?" he answered; maybe it's an Alpha thing. I started to fidget with my fingers; I mean, I was kind of unprepared for the wedding and the fact that it is so soon. I mean, I am over Sam (kind of) but it still feels hard to let go completely, which causes more pain. This could be a lot harder than saying 'I'll be there for the wedding'. I felt Jacob's hand, get placed on my mine and I looked up to see him, wearing a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Lee, you'll get through this. Or we could get through this, together" his works spoke, like a bell from the past yet at the same time, so comforting and secure; I felt warmth and protection from Jacob which I probably couldn't feel from anyone else.

* * *

**Yay! I finished Part 2 of Chapter 7, in one day. Yay! Yes, I am sick but I just couldn't stop typing even though my mom told me to relax =D**

**I hope you liked this part and the previous one, and the whole story xP Anyways, you can see the relationship that both Leah and Jacob have with the Cullens (it would build through the story). There is also a scene of foreshadowing which I shall not speak of but yeah. Jacob is curious about the relationship that Embry and Leah share, that's why he seems to act a bit abrupt in front of Embry. Ta ta da! Sam and Emily are back! And you see how Leah acts about that situation.**

**The next chapter would be the wedding (likeomg!) but I'm not sure when that will be out though since it has a lot of detail, dialogue and revelations (*gasp*) Anyways, I better relax now and come up with an excuse why I didn't do my geography project (I was sick is not a good enough excuse, apparently -.-).**

**Reviews are nice. Don't mind Criticism either. **


	9. My Never Yesterday

**Leah Clearwater**

I had no idea who the girl standing in front of me was; I was just standing there, gazing at the girl who I'm supposed to know. I didn't, clearly. I took another glance at her, astounded by her appearance. She stood there, wearing a long, sleeveless, pale yellow silk gown which ran down to her strap silver flats. A silver necklace rested across her neck, before her dress' round neckline. Her hair was in a beautiful bun, with few strands on the side, brushing against her lightly pink blushed cheeks. Her makeup really brought out her beauty; with her long black eyelashes, batting away the dust; her lips were a bit pouted and had a shine to it; and her skin was positively glowing. _Okay, who the hell is this girl?_ I'm so jealous.

"Wow, you all look so great" Emily exclaimed from behind. I turned my gaze away from the mirror and looked at the other bridesmaids (which were Kim, Rachel and Rebecca) and saw they gushing up, getting ready for the big ceremony. Emily was on a step, surrounded by about 5 mirrors, as she arranged her gown.

"Well, not as beautiful as you, Emily. You're the lovely bride" Kim answered her, helping Emily with her long gown. Becca and Rach merely smiled while I rolled my eyes; Kim was always kind of a kiss-ass.

Emily did actually look beautiful; her gown was entirely white and was really long (I didn't know it could be that long), highlighting her curves. Emily was always petite and very curvy while I was kind of was long and athletic. All the bridesmaids were wearing the same silk gowns and were carrying a bouquet of white roses.

I was astonished at how they had gotten a location like this in La Push, for the wedding; It was amazing. Right now, we were in a huge white and silver room, with walls towering way above us; this was bride and bridesmaids central. We came here in the morning (I was dragged out of bed) and have been getting ready for what feels like, hours. Mom, Emily's mom, Paul's mom and Emily's elder sister, Katie worked on our makeup and hair; you have no idea how fucking boring and annoying that was, but I had to play 'nice'. It was almost time and people have already started to pour in.

"Well, what do you think?" Emily spoke, twirling her 'beautiful' gown. The room was filled with gasps and 'wows' while I just gave a small smile.

"You look lovely, Aunt Emily" Claire said. She was, of course the flower girl; a really cute one too. She was wearing a sleeveless, frilly yellow dress with a white bow on her head, and holding a brown basket filled with white flower petals; now I kind of understand why Quil imprinted on her. How could you not? She's precious.

"Thank you, Claire-bear" Emily replied, beaming away and then turned to the mirror again, adjusting her dress a bit more. I could hear the clock tick, slowly as the time was coming closer; the tension and anxiety building up. I will have to walk down the aisle, and then watch Emily become Sam's, forever…forever…

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock and then the large wooden door, swung open and in came Bella and Nessie. Bella was wearing a one strap, dark blue gown and had a smile on a face; _fake, that's what she is_. Nessie on the other hand, looked so pretty and so much older; she was wearing a strapless, purple short gown which frilled at the bottom and a white ribbon was tied over her bronze locks. Man, some people have good taste in imprints.

"Bella?" Emily asked, with shock running through her face as she gazed at them. Of course, Emily would be shocked; she hadn't seen Bella, in her new disgusting leech form (it's not like she was any better when she was human but still).

"Hi, Emily" Bella said, genuinely.

"Oh My God, it's been sooo long! I missed you! Wow!" Emily exclaimed, stepping down the stair and crashing into Bella, for a hug. Ugh, a revolting picture.

"I know, Emily. I'm sorry but it had to be done. We couldn't break the treaty" Bella spoke, still hugging Emily. Nessie just stood there, looking around and when she finally caught my gaze, she smiled.

"Hi Leah" Nessie said, smiling beautifully. I don't know how it was beautiful but it just was.

"Hey Ness" I shrugged and then turned my gaze back to the mirror, looking at that unknown girl. Whatever happened to her? Oh right, Sam happened; imprinting happened; a broken heart happened. And now here she was, coming back to her worse memory to bring herself more pity and pain; Great…

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot... Am I tempting you?" I heard Emily questioned, retracting herself from Bella. That sounded so dirty and weird in many ways, I won't even start.

"No, it's okay. Nessie, Edward and I already went hunting before coming here. We wouldn't any attacks to occur" Bella laughed as I rolled eyes. Sure, you would attack your best friend and my brother, thinking it's no big deal but it's a big deal, attacking unknown people. _You're a saint_.

"This is your daughter?" Emily exclaimed, pointing at Nessie in shock.

"That's little Nessie?" Rachel asked, just as shocked. Rachel had met Nessie before, when she was still an infant but I guess due to the rapid growth, it must feel like years that Rachel saw Nessie (even though it's just like couple of months).

"Yes, this is my daughter Renesmee" Bella introduced Nessie. Renesmee…what did that poor girl ever do to Bella to deserve this punishment? Apart from almost killing her, but that isn't such a bad thing.

"So is your name Renesmee or Nessie?" Kim asked.

"My real name is Renesmee but in short, people call me Nessie. Jacob gave me that name" Nessie explained and everyone nodded for a second before going into their own conversations. Rebecca was helping Rachel, fit in properly into her dress while Kim was checking herself out in mirror. I was readjusting my hair, not noticing Nessie walking, towards my side.

"Wow Leah, you look so beautiful" She said, standing behind my right shoulder. That comment took me by surprise, since I'm not the one to be admired but I just gave a small smile.

"Thanks Ness" I merely said.

"You should wear colors and dresses more often" she stated.

"You're starting to sound a lot like Alice" I laughed. Alice wouldn't let go of me when it came to my wardrobe; it was annoying but entertaining in a way.

"Ha, sorry" Nessie giggled and spoke again. "But you do look nice in colors. Jacob likes it." That totally got my off guard and it was so random. Why would she say that Jacob likes me in colors? How does she even know?

"Hmm…Thanks Ness…" I unsurely, replied but she just smiled. I will never fully understand this girl/spawn/person, whatever. I just looked at the mirror, at my confused expression until I heard the conversation that Bella and Emily were having.

"You know, we have been together for so long now but I can't help to feel nervous, still" Emily said, biting her lip.

"Don't worry, Emily. Everything will be fine" Bella replied, placing her hand on Emily's. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who was listening, since the whole room got quiet. I just gazed at Emily's and Bella's reflection in the mirror; Bella was sitting on the step along with Emily, who was fidgeting with her fingers.

"I mean, I love Sam but I mean, marriage… it feels so huge, so scary, you know" Emily stuttered. Why the hell would she be nervous? She got who she loves; she should be happy.

"Look, I felt the same way when I was getting married to Edward…" Bella said, holding Emily's hand. Oh great, she's going to tell us her happily-ever-after.

"I was terrified of getting married. I mean, I love Edward but almost everyone has cold-feet. I was nervous, I wouldn't stop pacing, I was even sweating a bit; I was almost regretting everything…" Bella explained. Aww, poor Edward; Too bad she didn't run away from her wedding; it would have saved him some regret. _And you can hear me now leech, don't give me the look. It's the truth and you know it._

"But…" she spoke. _Oh, she's not done._ "…when I walked down the aisle, everything changed. When I walked down the aisle, all that mattered was Edward; he was all I could see and all that I wanted" she spoke, going into a dreaming state; I think she's getting high.

"Once you walk down that aisle, all that matters is the man that is in front of you; the man you love; the man who is going to be yours, forever…" she sighed, looking deeply into Emily's eyes. Emily returned a small smile while I felt my face fall.

"You love Sam and Sam loves you so much, and that's all that matters. Once you get through this, you'll no longer be alone but instead you will be going home with your husband; the love of your life: your Sam…" she continued to speak. _Her _Sam; of course, he was _her_ Sam. He always was; she didn't know about it, until my heartbreak.

"You both will live a happy and amazing life together and look forward for what's ahead, because this is just the mere beginning to your new life with the one you love" she kept stressing on that point. Everyone smiled and kept saying 'how beautiful and true it was'. Of course they would say that. They knew they would have a life like that too; but for me, there was no way. I could see from the corner of my eye, Nessie with a sympathetic and saddened look on her face.

"Thank you, Bella" Emily said, giving Bella a tight hug and letting go. This is supposed to be a cherished and happy moment, yet I felt like total shit. I felt the happy vibes, drown as they met my hurt, saddened and useless aura.

"Leah….are you okay?" Nessie broke the silence with her worried yet soothing tone. My body turned towards her as I tried to lift my head up.

"Umm…I'm fine. I just…need some air. I'll be back" I finally spoke, after an awkward moment. With that I walked towards the door, opening it and going out, ignoring some pity and confused glances thrown at me. I closed the door behind, and pulled my feet towards an open window before sticking my head out, taking in all the fresh and open air.

I let out a raspy breath, placing my hands on bottom of the huge window frame, for balance. Okay, this is a lot harder and painful than I thought it would be. _Of course it is. Hello! Cousin getting married to ex-love of your life!_ Well, yeah but…I sighed; there was no way I could fight the truth. I didn't want to fight the truth; otherwise it would just end in disaster. I'm destined to lead to a dead end. Thinking about dead end, brought up the conversation I had with Blond—I mean Rosalie.

_I entered the room, the very same room that I was held unconscious (or prisoner), to find some stuff moved around or missing and a whole bunch of medical equipment placed all around. And there was Dr. Cullen, leaning against a table, reviewing some sheets. Okay, I got to admit, Dr. Cullen is one hot dad. 'Okay, I did not just say that. I am so not right.'_

"_Take a seat, Mutt" Blondie gestured me to the long, solid doctor bed. I scowled at her and then smirked._

"_Hey, what do you do to make a Blonde drown?" I asked and I saw her roll her eyes._

"_Your Alpha Mutt already used that on me" she shot back._

"_Can't hurt to try. Oh so you mean that it actually works?" I sneered, jump-sat on the bed. Before she could reply, Dr. Cullen cut her off._

"_Okay, good morning Ms. Clearwater. How have you been today?" he asked me, politely as he walked up to me and Blondie, leaned by his table. God, why do they do that? Him and his wife; they practically killing me with kindness._

"_Ehh…" I merely shrugged._

"_Well Jacob says that you have been doing well. So now I'll just take a regular check-up, so please lie down" he said, returning his gaze back at the sheets. I couldn't help but to snort as I gently laid on the bed, which made him and Blondie snap their heads up at me._

"_Sure, a regular check-up…" I snorted, rolling my eyes. "If you call regular, that I'm a menopausal so-called girl, having a body temperature that would naturally kill a person, having extra chromosomes, being a genetic dead end and having an impressive pedigree, then okay."_

_Carlisle just gave a small smile before leaving the room to get some stuff while Blondie looked at the floor, with her eyebrows drawn to a line. I sighed and then stared at the white ceiling above me. The next thing I knew was that the vampire stench had become stronger and in fact, Blondie's blonde locks were dangling next to me. I turned my confused gaze at her, as her eyes were furrowed at me._

"_What did you mean by that?"Blondie asked._

"_What did I mean by what?" I questioned._

"_By the fact that you're a…genetic dead end?" she asked, sounding a bit careful with her words._

"_Oh yeah…" I sighed and continued, gazing at the ceiling. "…I can never be a mother, that's the thing. I'm doomed to be just the only menopausal she-wolf; unable to have a family. Not as great or as strong as our forefathers..."_

_I heard Rosalie let out a small growl under her breath which made me turn my gaze to his perfect, pale face._

"_That is so unfair and stupid!" she snarled. My eyes widened for a second, at her reaction._

"_It's always been that way. I'm not worthy to pass a gene" I sighed. Her face then changed to a pained and sympathetic look._

"_That must have been awful to be surrounded by all of this and also to be treated like this" she said, softly._

"_Why do you care about me and how I'm treated?" I asked. She sighed and hesitantly, placed her cold hand on mine._

"_Because I can't have kids either…" she revealed. " I want to, but I can't. Neither can Alice. We're stuck in this state."_

"_I know, Jake told me. I'm sorry…" I replied, actually feeling sad for her; I know, I was sympathizing with a leech. Well things have changed through these years, so don't blame me._

"_But it must have been harder for you. I heard about what happened. You must be really strong to handle all of that…" she said and I sighed._

"_Being strong, doesn't help changing the path that fate has chosen for me…" I sighed; I felt my eyes slightly get a bit glassy. Oh great, I'm almost crying in front of a leech; I'm such a loser. But Rosalie gave a small smile._

"_Who knows?" Rosalie whispered._

The warm breeze brushed my face, waking me from my thoughts. I opened my eyes and gazed at the beautiful garden, in front of me. The smell of chrysanthemums and jasmines filled my lungs and I could hear faint sounds of cars screeching to a stop, and people chatting and laughing. It was close; I felt my breath get caught in my throat. Everything came running back to me; my past life; the life I could never have; the love of my life that was never mine; the future which I would never be able to live; the pain and loneliness that I'll have to endure. Fate really does hate me, doesn't it? I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't seem to hear a faint pair of footsteps, come to a stop, only 20 feet away from me.

"Hey there, gorgeous" I heard a playful and bright voice called out. And to my surprise, I actually turned and gazed at the person. And there was Jacob Black, my alpha. And he was _(Wait_ _for it…)_ in a tux; in an actual tux. He wore a black coat, over a white full-sleeve shirt which was untucked and had a couple of buttons, unbuttoned from the top, and there was a small orchid in the top side pocket of his coat. It was amazing how they got black pants that were long enough to cover his legs. His hands dug into his pants pockets and he leaned on one hip, tapping his shiny black formal shoes, gently and slowly on the ground.

Boy, this guy knows how to clean up good. It's amazing how he doesn't have a girlfriend. Because he is actually really attractive, in a sexy and hot way and—_seriously, I need therapy! And wait…did I just turn my head when he said 'gorgeous'? Have I been taking drugs, subconsciously?_ I decided not to take my chances, so I started to look around if he was referring to someone else, but no one seemed to be around. I turned my gaze back at him and he was still looking at me.

"Were you expecting someone else?" I asked, unsure. He just merely smiled.

"Well, do you see any other 6 foot sexy Quileute girl around?" he replied as he slowly walked towards me. I rolled my eyes; _sexy…yeah right._

"Wow Lee, you look…hmm…you…really…" he said, rubbing his neck. I smiled in my head at his cute hesitation (_Cute? Oh god_)

"I hope the end of this sentence, is good" I replied, with a smirk. He stood next to me and then chuckled, removing his hand from his neck and let out a small breath.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Lee" he finally said, with smiling eyes. I huffed and looked out of the window again.

"Thanks for trying, Jake" I snorted.

"Who said, I was trying to compliment you? I am complimenting you…" he stated and I looked at him. "You really look gorgeous…not that you don't always do, but you know."

I felt a small grin play on my lips, and felt little heat run through my cheeks. I looked at my hands on the railing, hoping that he won't notice it but thankfully he smiled and then gazed at the garden. What is with the sudden kindness and compliments? But most importantly, what is with my behavior around him? I mean, this suddenly feels so different from the usual…well not totally different but you know.

"What are you doing out here, Lee?" He finally asked, and I felt his gaze on me. Suddenly, everything that was thinking and doubting about, came rushing back. I completely forgot about my recent thoughts and now, I was drowning in my never.

"Nothing…I just needed a breather" I sighed, playing with my fingers. Jacob noticed my fidgeting and looked at me, with a harder look.

"Leah, I know something is up. What is it?" he asked. Damn, I hated how well he knew me. _Well, this is what happens when you and your alpha spend so much time with other_. I never said it was a bad thing. _Okay! Back to subject!_

"It's nothing…it's just…" I sighed, looking at the greenery. "…I just can't help to feel envy for Emily." From the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob's eyebrows furrow.

"…this is about Sam, isn't it?" Jacob asked in disbelief. I thought about that question before, answering it.

"Actually…no" I said, and turned to look at his confused face. "I mean, at first I thought it was about Sam, but that's not the only thing I envy her for."

"What do you mean?" he asked, unsure. I let out a small sigh and looked at the garden again.

"I envy her at the fact that she has a life. The fact that no matter what happens, today she'll have the person she loved and belongs with, all to her. The fact that she never has the fear of losing that special someone…" I explained and then looked into his brown eyes. "…the fact that she has a chance to have a family, to have kids and live happily, forever."

"Aww Lee, don't say that…" Jacob groaned and then held my shoulders, pulling me to face him. "You have just as much chance as she does. You'll find someone and will have happy life too, Leah."

"Don't kid me, Jacob…" I said, pushing his grasp from my shoulders and turned to the window again. "I will never have that. I'm destined to be like this. I was never worth it and our forefathers knew that. I'm just a girly-wolf who no one will ever love and I'm nothing even worthy to pass a gene. Nothing like Emily; I'm not special and pretty or imprint-worthy like her."

I sighed with frustration, and my gaze fell to the ground. I heard Jacob let out a small sigh, and then I felt his body heat radiate near me, as his warm hand cupped my chin and made me gaze into his brown eyes. They were soft yet determined at the same time; I felt like I was falling into them. I felt his other hand, brush one of my stands and put it behind my ear; I had even forgotten to take in air.

"You really don't give yourself much credit, do you?" he said, softly as his thumb softly brushed my cheek. His warm breath was entering my system replacing the flower scents with only his. It was as if everything stopped for some reason and we were the only ones there (not to mention, we were kind of close to each other that we could almost hear each other's pulse). But time went back to track when I heard the wooden door, blow open and out walked out Rachel.

"Leah? Are you there? Come on, it's time—" she called out and her gaze then finally caught me and Jacob. I blinked a couple of times before removing my chin from Jacob's hold and looked at her; Jacob did the same.

"There you are! Come on, it's time. Jacob, what are you doing here? You need to be in position" Rachel spoke after a moment of silence. She walked up to us and took hold of my hand.

"And since when have I listened to you?" Jacob replied.

"Go" Rachel strained, dragging me back to the room of sickening happiness and girly girls.

"Okay… see you out there, Leah" he said and then walked off, with his hands in his pockets; I just nodded and entered the room, before passing Bella and Nessie. Bella just looked at me and then instantly looked away and left whereas Nessie smiled and raised a thumbs-up. I smiled and she left. I saw Rebecca, holding her bouquet, standing next to Kim, who was rearranging her hair right. Rachel handed me the bouquet and I slowly took it and stood behind Kim; _okay, just breathe… don't worry, be cool and calm. Cool, calm and collected._ I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I didn't have to think twice to know whose hand it was, before I turned to face her.

"Thanks for being here, Leah. It means a lot to me" Emily said. Oh great. Now she notices I'm here. _Cool it Leah. Be the better person_. What if I don't fully want to be the better person? _Just get through this and I promise, everything will go back to normal. You don't owe anything to these losers. _But they will so owe me though.

"No problem, Emily" I shrugged, bored and walked outside as her hand fell down. We walked down the hall, passing Emily's dad and then reached the door which leaded outside to the wedding area. I was standing behind Kim, who was so excited (well of course, since she's like Emily's pet and maid of honor, and also she gets to walk down the aisle, with Jared. Yippee her) and behind me was the Black twins, who was helping each other with some last minute checks and was setting Claire's dress and basket, straight.

I sighed, clenching restlessly to the bouquet, dreading for this to end already. But when the music started to play, I knew that it was just the start; _shit. _Kim turned and smiled at us as Rebecca gave Kim a thumbs-up and then Kim, walked slowly outside the door.

"In five, you have to go. Okay Leah?" Rachel whispered, over my shoulder. I felt my breath get caught in my throat again. _Oh shit, oh shit! Oh god, I have to go. I can't, I can't…It's so freaky... no, no... This, this is too much! I need to flee!_

"Go" Rebecca said and gave me a push forward. I stumbled forward and bit my lip as I went out the door; _oh great, there's no backing out now. _I was in an open foyer and I walked down it (Trying to be graceful or whatever), clenching on to the bouquet and trying not to turn around and run back.

Then finally I saw an opening into this lightly covered (with was like a pale yellow sheet. Probably for the leeches) area, which was held by posts, covered with green crawlers. I didn't notice where I was walking; I was too busy looking at this amazingly decorated place (it felt like it had Alice Cullen, puked all over it for some reason). Then I felt a warm arm, fit around my right arm and looked up to see Jacob, grinning at me. Why is it every time I see him, everything brightens? What is he? A fricking light? I tore my gaze from him and looked around. I felt everyone's gaze on us; _okay, awkward. Stop it._ Then I caught Edward's face in the third row, next to Bella. He gave me a reassuring smile and then looked at Jacob and then at me, his smile grew a bit wider; Nessie had a full-on toothy smile.

I gazed at the ground and saw that we were walking on a long white cloth; I followed it which led to a white gazebo, covered with crawlers, white flowers and white streamers. What is with all this greenery? When has La Push looked this beautiful? This was something that I imagined my wedding to be. The beautiful weather, the white blending with the greenery, the air smelling of happiness and kind of earthy (in a good way) and in front of me, the man I love…that's when I saw him. There, Sam was standing under the gazebo with his hand holding the other, smiling and standing next to Mr. Weber and in front of Jared.

I felt my heart stop for a second, and my eyes slowly widen. _Oh no, no…this can't be right. This was how I used to imagine my wedding to be; with Sam. No, no!_ I saw Sam's happiness in his eyes slowly fade as it filled with pained and sorrow as he gazed into my eyes. _No, I don't want this right now. I can't. _I felt my grasp on Jacob's arm tighten and his eyes moved to mine, but mine were still locked on Sam's. It was getting to hard…I managed to choke a small breath out. _Leah, you need to relax._ But I couldn't, it was just too real…This was my dream that could never come true.

Just when I felt I was about to burst, I felt a sudden warmth on my tighten hand. I looked up to see Jacob holding my hand (which was grasp onto his arm) and giving a reassuring look before, narrowing his eyes at Sam. We were at the end of the aisle, but my eyes never left Jacob's face. Somehow, I felt safe and comforted as I gazed at him, that I forgot that we had stopped. I felt his warmth disappear from me and I gazed at Sam before me and Jake retreated to our positions (him, next to Jared and me, next to Kim).

I kept my eyes down, but I still felt Sam's gaze burn through me. He didn't even seem to remove his gaze, when Paul walked down the aisle, with Rachel holding his right arm and Rebecca holding his left arm. Rachel and Rebecca took their place next to me and I felt them give me sympathetic look. _Okay, please stop!_

Then the music started to play, louder and everyone looked to see the bride walking down the aisle, holding her dad's arm. I looked up to see Emily; beaming away as she slowly walked down the aisle (could she walk any slower?). I looked at Sam, to see his face suddenly change to happiness and excitement. I couldn't help but to roll my eyes at him; _stupid blind imprint puppy._ I saw Edward smile at me as I said that comment in my head.

The ceremony felt like it would last forever. I had tuned out whatever Mr. Weber said and whatever Emily or Sam said, like vows and that shit. I didn't even know what I was looking at (for all I know, I was staring at a mud stuck on Paul's shoe), until I felt about 5 pairs of eyes burn against my skin. What is with this people? I looked up to the guests to see Quil in the fourth row, giving me a weak smile (since when was he allowed to pity me?) and then my gaze moved to Embry, who was next to him, with a worried look on his face but when he caught my eyes, he winked at me and smiled. That was so Embry of him, and I felt my lips tug up for a second. Then my gaze dropped to Edward, who gave me a reassuring nod. _What? I'm not enjoying this you know._ He just simply shrugged and then a hand touched his face. Then he turned his gaze to Nessie, as she dropped her hand and he nodded to her. Then she looked at me, as her smile widened. _Okay…weird_. I brought my face back at the 'going to be married couple', only to get distracted by the fifth set of eyes, gazing at me. Jacob's eyes were boring into mine as I looked at him; I hadn't noticed that the couple placed the rings onto each other's fingers. He mouthed 'you okay?' and I replied with a mere shrug. Okay, the truth was that I wasn't exactly dying. Which is good, right?

"I do" those words broke through my tuned-out shield and struck into my very core. Jacob seemed to have noticed my sudden freeze as his face became concerned and all tense.

"I do" it hit me again, a bit harder. I slightly winced but then pulled myself together and gazed at the floor, biting my lip. _Oh god, oh god…This is…oh no._ I tried not to lose my grasp on my bouquet as I place my hand on my stomach, as I felt it churning. Then the area bursted into applause and happy gasps; the happy couple had probably kissed. The bridesmaids and groomsmen clapped along with 'woohoos'.

After the hit, I felt a sudden release and I let out the breath I had kept in. I started panting softly and then slowly lifted my head up to see the couple run down the aisle as people continued to clap. I sighed, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in and let it out, calmly. I had no idea what had just happened but all of the sudden, I felt more open and less distressed. Rachel and Rebecca went to hold Paul's arms as they walked down the aisle, few minutes after the couple left. I sighed and slowly made my way down the gazebo, only to feel the coolness surrounding me was replaced by warmth as an arm wrapped itself around my arm; I didn't need to know who it was. I could smell and feel him, leaning closer to me and looking at me.

"Hey, what's wrong? You alright?" he whispered, concerned. I didn't exactly have an answer to that question, actually.

"I'm fine…" I sighed. "I'm surprised I survived it."

"I knew you could get through it. You always could" he whispered, smiling and holding my hand in his as we entered the foyer; leaving the anxiety behind.

* * *

"Come on, Leah" his voice pleaded. Oh god, why is he doing this to me? I don't want to. I was rubbing one of my temples from the amount of pleading he did. I was sitting on a white chair, by the table in the reception area (it was outside but was covered from the top). The couple were already introduced as 'Mr. and Mrs. Sam Uley' (bleh, but whatever) and they had their first dance. Then Jared gave his simple toast whereas Kim went on and on and on (even Paul got annoyed) and then the bouquet was thrown, which landed in Rachel's hands and the garter landed in Paul's (surprise, surprise).

Now everyone was dancing on the wooden floor; Sam was dancing with Emily's mom while Emily was dancing with her dad; Mom and Charlie were slow dancing (ugh, don't even want to talk about it); Kim and Jared were dancing, giggling; Rachel and Paul were dancing, too close to each other while Quil was twirling Claire on the dance floor. Everyone looked so happy with their own and I was content, putting on a fake smile and ignoring everyone but no! Instead, his happy-go-lucky face had to show up and disrupt my silent annoyance.

"Embry, I said over a million times and I have been counting…I don't know how to dance" I groaned looking at his face.

"Of course you can dance, don't lie…plus, I'm not so great myself. We can be the two idiots on the dance floor" he replied.

"Oh, you so know what a girl wants" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Come on Leah, just…please" he said, giving me what I think was the puppy-dog eyes. _Dude, Seth had used that a thousand times on me and he never got lucky._ His brown eyes started boring and pleading at me that I let out a sigh of frustration.

"Fine! Okay, you oaf" I gave in, throwing my hands in the air. His expression changed from pleading to beaming. _Oh god, what is wrong with me?_ I took his hand as he led me to the dance floor. I saw some heads turn and look at us; I rolled my eyes as I placed my left hand on his shoulder and clasped the other one to his. I felt his hand slide and secure itself on my waist as we started to move to the music.

"You grope me, and I'll kill you" I whispered to him, in a warning tone. All I got in response was a chuckle. The music started to speed up so did we. He twirled me around and I saw Jacob and Edward, standing next to each other, observing us_. Don't you guys have anything better to do?_ Hoping that he would hear that.

"You look really beautiful, Leah" Embry said, out of nowhere which made me turn my gaze at him. He was looking directly at me with a genuine smile on his face.

"Thanks Embry. You don't look so bad yourself" I replied.

"Well, Mom went berserk since this is the first real wedding I'm going to, so yeah…" Embry shrugged. Embry's mom is actually pretty sweet. I mean I've only met her thrice and she doesn't really get out much but she's doing a good job with Embry and at the fact that there's no father. Which reminded me…

"Embry, I want to say I'm sorry…" I sighed which made his eyebrows furrow; why do they do that so much?

"I'm sorry that I wasn't exactly the definition of supportive or nice for the matter of fact when I first joined the pack. I didn't mean to hurt you or annoy you or make you feel low but—" I explained but was cut off by Embry.

"Don't apologize. You were going through a hard time, we all knew that. I don't hate you for that; yes I have to admit, I felt low but I never hated you. I guess it just kind of hit me in a way that I never knew my dad but now I'm over it" He explained; I couldn't help biting my lip, feeling a bit guilty. He noticed that and sighed.

"Leah, I'm fine. It was the past and now I'm a lot happy. Maybe because you have become a special part of my life now" he spoke with a smile. I felt the sides of my lips tug up at his words. _Aww, when did I become such a softie?_ But this indeed was really sweet. Embry was always a sweet guy; a bit horny, annoying and shit but really sweet as well.

This sweet moment came crashing down when I saw _him_ tap on Embry's shoulder. Embry paused and turned to see, no one other than…Sam. _Shit, what now?_ Sam's eyes laid on me and I felt something jump up and right back down in me. What does he want? Why is he looking at me like that?

"Sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I may have this dance with you, Leah" he asked, in a formal and collected tone. I felt my eyes widen and go down in one second. Embry looked at Sam and then gazed at me, with worried and questioning eyes. You know what? Whatever, this is ridiculous.

"Fine" I sighed, rolling my eyes. Embry looked at Sam again and then moved to make Sam's way to me. The warmth didn't even have time to cool before it was replaced by Sam's heat; his hands had replaced Embry's. We slowly started to move to the music as I felt him gaze at me, and I hesitantly tried to avoid eye contact; this felt so weird. The last time we danced together was…years ago, when we were love; bleh! But what I didn't get was why is had come to dance with me instead of his precious Emily? What is he thinking?

"Wow Leah, you look amazing" he spoke. I looked at him, weirdly.

"Fine, Thanks" I replied, looking away. I felt his eyes trying to connect with mine.

"But really, you look so different. It's nice to see you like this" he 'complimented' again, with a small grin plastered on his face. I looked at him, narrowing my eyes at him.

"What are you getting at, Sam?" I curiously asked. There had to be a reason behind his so-called sweetness and his face dropped a bit, concluding it.

"I'm just really glad you're here, Lee-lee…" he said, again mentioning that horrid name. "It means a lot to Emily…and me. I don't want things to change between us."

"But things have changed, Sam. Look around you" I snorted and his head sunk a bit low.

"You mean a lot to me, Leah. You always have" he replied, looking into my eyes again. _What…a…load…of…crap!_ Seriously, does this guy not know the meaning of hatred-towards-pity? This isn't going to work on me. Just when I was about to answer back to him (using my usual sarcastic cocky phrases), I noticed the song's change and…oh no. How-how…could it be?

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

The words rang in my head, as the song continued to flow but I was just too shocked to even notice that I had froze in my tracks. This was…_Oh my god. W-what? How could he…this isn't good. No, this is not right. No, no, no!_ I let out a small choke as I moved my gaze to meet Sam's eyes, pained. He also noticed this since his expression nearly mirrored mine. He recognized it too; his mouth was hanging a bit while his eyes had widened a bit, filled with pity, regret and pain; whatever he ever felt for me was in his eyes.

My body was stiff, as if the slightest movement might break this stable and collected balance. I just couldn't bring myself to even take my eyes from him, let alone run away from there. I so wanted to run from there but something kept me down; trapped.

"Oh-h my god! Lee-lee, I didn't know th-they would play…Leah, I didn't mean for th-this-!" he started to stutter in panic. Another choke came out in a raspy breath as I gazed to the ground and started to slowly return to sway; to move past this moment…the pain.

Of course he wouldn't know about this song; it was in the past, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything that this was the song that we danced to for our first date, our first kiss and also the fact that this was supposed to be our song for our wedding. Of course, it doesn't matter anymore.

"Lee-lee, you don't know how sorry I am…I really didn't know, I never meant to hurt you—" he said, in a speedy and pained tone but I cut him off. I looked up at him, except not as the cocky original Leah but the once vulnerable Leah that he abandoned.

"Of course you didn't know…" I said, softly and weakly. "It was the past after all. It doesn't mean anything anymore…since it's just a figment of the past of…nothing."

"Lee-lee…" he choked, painfully which made me cringe again, closing my eyes as well. _I don't need this now. Please stop this! I can't handle…I might kill! Please, save me._ I felt someone tap on my shoulder, making my eyes fly open and turn to gaze at him. He was there, standing there with a small smile on his face and his hand out at me.

"If you don't mind, I would like to dance with Leah, Sam…" Jacob spoke, only gazing at me. As soon as his eyes met mine, the vulnerability and pain started to closely drift away. But then I looked at Sam, gazing at Jacob for a moment before giving him a stiff nod and looking at me, in remorse again. I watched him storm away, before I felt a soothing warmth place around my waist and intertwine with my fingers and turned me to face Jacob, whose head was craned down at me.

"Your timing is impeccable" I finally let out a sigh of relief, returning slowly to normality.

"I know, I guess I'm cool like that" he chuckled.

"And Edward told you, he heard me scream in my head" I said, in matter-of-fact tone.

"Well yeah, but you did look like you were going to kill" he shrugged. I smirked at him and started to sway along with him to the music.

"You okay? What did he say?" Jacob curiously asked. I rolled my eyes at the fact that my alpha would never let me go easily. He always has to know and "help". I kind of learnt to just give in to him because it's just not worth it hiding it.

"This was our song" I sighed. He gave one nod, indicating that he understood what I meant.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered.

"It's alright. I'm actually feeling better. It was just that Sam and this song together is a real headache" I shrugged as my head hang low. Then I felt Jacob's hand slowly release my waist, leaving an eerie coldness which made me look at him. He took the orchid from his pocket of his coat, and with a warm smile on his face, he took the flower and dug it into my hair bun and settled it down there.

It was the most random, strangest yet sweetest thing ever. Then the eerie coldness disappeared as his heat replaced it again and he slowly made me sway to the music along with me. I continued to look at him as he twirled with me, still waiting for the answer to his gesture.

"He wasn't worth it, you know" he finally spoke and brought his brown eyes to mine. "I always knew he was never worth it."

"You're just saying that, Jake" I sighed, softly.

"No, when we were young and you were dating Sam, I always knew you were so much better than him…" he replied and then leaned his head forward towards me.

"…You still are" his warm breath, intoxicated me as I felt my eyes flutter several times. Then I felt his head lift up and look ahead while my eyes just gazed at him. My eyes slightly fell down and then I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I suddenly brought my body closer to him, closing the place between us and rested my head on his strong, muscled chest. I felt him freeze for a second (from my action) and then relax, continuing to sway. I felt his chin rest on my head, with his breath running through my hair and I could feel his chest rise and lower with every breath.

This was such a sentimental moment that I surprisingly never wanted to forget or get away from; I wanted this to be frozen forever. Due to my werewolf incredible hearing abilities, I heard a group of ladies whispering and gossiping about…me and Jake.

"Who is that tall girl over there?"

"Oh, isn't she the Clearwaters' daughter?"

"Yes, she's Sue and her-late husband's elder daughter."

"Her younger brother is Seth and her name Leah right?"

"That's right."

"Oh isn't she the bride's cousin?"

"Not only that. She was the groom's girlfriend."

"Ah, you're kidding?"

"It's true. They were in love and were actually really close to getting married."

"But then?"

"But poor girl, he was arranged for her cousin."

"She was heart-shattered. And losing her father wasn't any better for her."

"She must have had a lot of guts to come to this wedding."

"No kidding. She is strong."

"But who is that guy she's dancing with?"

"I'm not sure. Probably from the reservation though."

"Oh isn't he Billy Black's son?"

"I'm not sure. Are they going out?"

"I don't know but looks like it."

"They look absolutely fabulous together, don't they?"

"Oh yes, they look like models."

"And they look so happy. They are perfect for each other."

"Nice to know, that she's found someone who will take care and love her."

Someone to take care and love; that was what I wanted but it was just so hard to find those qualities that I didn't even bother to try. Who am I kidding? No one would even think about liking me, let alone love me. I don't even know if I'll find that person. Someone who understands me; someone who cares for me as much as I could care for him; someone who makes me feel happy at times; someone who understands my boundaries and limits; someone who makes everything so much brighter for me…suddenly I had the urge to look up; like an energy surged through me.

My face slowly brought itself up, to see him. He bent his head to me and again, there was a small bright spark. His warm smile, his deep brown eyes, his facial features, and the sound of his heart beating against his lean chest; it made such a strong and beautiful sound. My eyes shot up as the heat again reached my cheeks and then I paused, slowly retracting my hands from him as I moved away; a cool breeze brushed against our bodies. He looked at with a questioning look on his face; I myself had no clue what had just happened.

"Hmm…the song is over and I'm kind of tired" I said, placing a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I guess I kind of hogged you to myself, huh?" he chuckled and I returned a weak laugh.

"Uh, not really…" I replied. "By the way, thanks a lot, Jake."

"Anything for you, Tiny" Jacob spoke, giving me his famous Jacob smile which I could not help to return back.

"Well, I better give Nessie her dance now" Jacob sighed. I nodded and couldn't help to feel a little annoyance but I shook it off and walked to the buffet table, as the song changed.

I placed my hands on the table, leaning against it. What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this? Maybe, it's the air here. Maybe, I'm just a desperate bitch who can't handle the fact that her ex-boyfriend is getting married and is trying to hook up to the next best thing. Well, I wouldn't call Jacob the next best thing. I mean he seems better—why am I talking about Jacob? What would even make me think about Jacob? Why did I suddenly feel so cautious that Jacob was holding me, and dancing with me? Why was I acting like such a fricking girl? I placed my hands on my cheeks and felt the heat slowly fade and then I turned to the side to see Edward Cullen, leaning against the table, facing the dance floor. Okay, what did he want?

"Having second thoughts on your feelings?" he asked, just gazing at the guests, not me. If he means that I want to run away from here, yelling and screaming then…no, actually.

"No, I'm fine. Just because Sam wasn't meant to be with me doesn't mean that I totally hate being here, that I would make a scene or run away" I explained, taking a sip of the punch.

"I wasn't talking about Sam" he said and then his topaz eyes met mine. I put the cup down, furrowing my eyebrows. He gave a small smile and looked at the dance floor. I turned and saw Jacob, dancing with Nessie on his feet. His laughter made a small smile appear on my face; that boy was special. He then looked up at me and winked at me, widening his smile. I felt my breath slowly release from my throat, in one soothing motion.

Everything started to clear away; no pain, no remorse, no hatred. I don't know how he did it – I don't know how could I possibly understand this boy, the way he understood me – but he was able to just be there and yet change everything; for me at least. I gazed at him, dancing with his imprint as the music surrounded them.

_And you're on fire  
when He's near you  
You're on fire when He speaks  
You're on fire burning at these mysteries._

* * *

**I'm so ! I know, I know, I know! It has been a long update. But my life is in ruins! School is so screwed over since they pushed Mocks forward and are trying to cram everything together. I had so many projects due like my geography project, my English language creative essay and my English literature poetry coursework draft; all due on the same day. Then I had geography, biology and physics test which was no better it was just crazy. Now I have a business and math big tests on Monday, right after another. Welcome to my sucky life. I had a 4 day weekend but I didn't have time to work on this much (studying and family stuff) but anyways. I had written ¼ of this after chapter 7 but I wasn't about to continue it through the week. So here you go.**

**Well, this is the longest for a chapter I've written. Close to 9,000 words (crazy, I know xP). The wedding! Ta-da! And of course, it's sort of confusing because Leah's thoughts and feelings aren't fully stabilized and understood by her. I did add a smidge of Callwater just to indicate their relationship and possible attraction. Yay! Kind of Blackwater but yeah. You probably noticed how the songs kind of help the story and possible past revelations and foreshadowing (first: Iris – Goo Goo Dolls; second: On Fire – Switchfoot) Notice Edward and Nessie's character, btw (just a hint :P)**

**The next chapter will be out…I don't know when. I'll try real hard to get it out sooner (the next few chapters may be kind of short but like building up). Please excuse my stupid grammar errors and scrambled words. I'm really working on that.**

**I hope you liked it and keep reading this and my other stuff.**

**Reviews are nice xD.**


	10. Heart of Metal

Leah stood in front of the bathroom mirror, straightening her black sleeveless dress. Yes, she was wearing a dress. It was placed on her chair when she woke up, with a note attached to it saying:

_Hey Leah _

_Thought you might need this for today. I mean, I know that you don't care about clothes and all but I thought you would at least have the decency to wear this for a day like this. Rose and Edward said that you would just roll your eyes and chuck it away; please don't. We all pay our respects, by the way and remember we're always there for you (Even though it doesn't matter to you as much, but we are growing on you I can see). So when are you coming over? It's been a while and Emmett and surprisely Jasper, are really keen to see you; not to mention Rose and of course me too. See you soon._

_Alice Cullen._

_P.s: Prefer if you wore some nice shoes as well. I would have bought a pair but Edward didn't let me._

Well Rosalie and Edward were right about Leah rolling her eyes but Leah was actually grateful that they understood what today meant to her and how it affected her. She let out a sigh as she slipped on her black leather biker jacket (she didn't want to look all that decent). She gazed at her reflection in the mirror and saw her facial features look so down and droopy. Taking in a breath and letting it out slowly, she walked out of the bathroom and slowly dropped down to sit on her bed. She slid on one of her sneakers just when, a knock was heard on her door (which was really unlikely since no one knocks when entering). Her eyes darted for the door as she saw the frame of her little brother, came through the small gap between the doorframe and the door. He brought his eyes to his sister, giving a half smile and burying his hands in his jacket pockets. It was the first time she (or even him for the matter of fact) had seen him, fully clothed (and quite quiet as well) since they started to phase.

"Hey, you ready, Lee?" Seth asked, rubbing the back of his head, burying his hand in his shaggy black hair. Leah looked down at her shoes, biting her lip as she slipped on the other pair and placed her feet on the floor. She let out a sigh of disbelief and looked up at her brother, through her short strands of black hair.

"Sure, let's get over with this" she softly replied, pulling herself off the bed and walked towards the door; Seth held her sister's arm as a sign of support as they both left the room.

* * *

"Paul, would you just pick a fricking radio station already?" Jacob groaned in frustration. Jacob didn't even know why he put up with Paul; oh right, because he's his sister's imprinter and Rachel would eat Jacob alive if he did anything to hurt her 'precious' Paul. Both, Billy and Jacob gagged at that point.

"Chill Black, if you didn't have such sucky reception and stereo system, we won't have this problem" Paul said, turning the knob of the radio.

"It's your fucking car, Paul and your fucked-up stereo" Jacob snarled, earning a small glare from Billy (who was sitting in the front passenger seat, next to Jacob) but Jacob chose to ignore.

"And whose fault is that?" Paul said, raising his eyebrow at Jacob. Jacob felt a small growl emerge from his chest; why? Why? Why did he even promise to fix Paul's car when he couldn't care any less? Oh right, because of his darling sister, again.

"Boys, settle down" Billy spoke, shooting glances at both, Jacob and Paul. Paul retracted his hand from the radio and slumped back onto his seat, next to Rachel. Jacob was trying so hard not to jump onto the backseat and punch Paul but in the end, he let out a frustrated sigh and kept his eyes glued to the road.

"Paul, please behave. We're almost there and you promised to behave, for today" Rachel said to Paul. Jacob wished that she would tell him to shut up for the rest of his life but of course that won't come true anytime soon. Paul gave one nod and then kissed her on the lips.

"Ugh, guys please. Enough tonsil tennis" Jacob groaned as he viewed them from the mirror and pulled a disgusted look. Paul pulled away and smirked at Jacob's reflection.

"This is nothing compared to—" Paul said before getting cut off by Billy. It was a good thing that Billy cut Paul off because Jacob was on the verge to do some real damage.

"Kids, for once please just shut up" Billy groaned. Everyone knew that it wouldn't happen that easily.

"I'm being good and an adult, right dad?" Rebecca said in her sweet tone. Billy nodded whereas Jacob and Rachel rolled their eyes.

"Suck-Up" They both muttered in unison. Paul chuckled while Rebecca stuck out her tongue at them; Billy was the only one who was not impressed. He seemed to be kind of serious today and everyone knew why.

"Please, you all know what today is and I wish not to yell today. I want to say hello to my old friend. You know how much it means to me and the Clearwaters" Billy spoke, softly and sadly but yet in a serious tone. Jacob ducked his head down a bit, feeling guilty for almost forgetting what today meant for Billy, Sue, Seth…Leah. Everyone in the car got quiet and nodded in agreement. Jacob finally got a view of the large black gate and the courtyard beyond it. He pulled the car to a stop and removed the keys out of ignition, before getting out of the car with the others. Paul took Billy's wheelchair out and set it up and, Rebecca and Rachel helped their disabled dad onto it. Jacob stood in front of the large gate, just gazing at it. He felt a small shiver of horror and sadness crawl through his spine; it was like a blast from the past.

This was where his past and loss were left behind and just some memories that did cause some sadness and pain for his family. He felt fingers interlock with his, on both of his hands and looked to see Rachel and Rebecca, one on his left and the other on his right gazing at the gate just like he was. Then the Black siblings exchanged supporting glances and Jacob pecked his elder sisters' hands before letting them slid off. This was one of the reasons that Jacob loved his sisters; even though they teased him and they always fought with each other, they were always there for each other in times of grief, pain and guilt. Jacob heard Billy get wheeled (by Paul) next to them; Jacob knew how this also gravely affected his dad as well. Letting out a sigh, Jacob pushed open the large black gate, making room for Billy, Paul and his sisters to enter this large green courtyard of people's past.

There was a gathering of people surrounding, just a few feet away from Harry Clearwater's grave when Jacob and his family (and Paul) emerged over the small hill. They were instantly greeted by Jared, who had Kim attached to his arm; Collin and Brady; Quil, holding Claire's hand, who standing next to her mother and father; Embry and a couple others from the reservation. Jacob and the others walked up to Sue, who was held by the waist by Charlie. Jacob could tell that Sue was crying since her eyes were a bit worn out and red but she would keep denying it; something that Leah had got from her. They were both strong yet stubborn at times. Billy took Sue's hand into his two hands and gave a small smile.

"You are a really strong woman, Sue. You have done such an amazing job with everything in yours and the kids' life. I don't think Harry ever regretted having you as a wife" Billy said to her, patting her hand. Charlie looked a little uncomfortable with that statement but he knew that it was true and he kissed Sue's forehead, as a sign of comfort and support.

"You and me, both Billy; we both are on the same boat. You've also done a wonderful job with your kids" she replied softly, giving smiles to Rebecca and Rachel and stopping her gaze at Jacob, making her smile widened a bit. Jacob really appreciated Sue's hospitality and kindness. When his mom wasn't around, Sue was always there as a second mom. She would take care of him and his sisters, take them to school, feed them (loads of food) and love them as much as she loved Leah and Seth.

"Mind if we go and see him?" Billy asked and Sue merely nodded. Billy patted Sue's hand and gave Charlie a nod, before being pushed to the tombstone by Paul; The twins and Jacob followed them behind. Jacob looked around to spot the Clearwater siblings and saw Seth, standing with Embry, looking a bit grim (which was so unlike him but of course he would be grim on a day like this) but Jacob couldn't seem to find Leah. _Did she even come? Of course she would come. It's her dad's memorial. Unless maybe it was too much for her to handle_. These thoughts flooded Jacob's head but stopped shortly when he reached the tombstone, engraved 'Harry Clearwater, wonderful husband, father and person'. It was just like other tombstones; grey, big and rectangular but it had couple of bouquets and wreaths surrounding it. Harry Clearwater was known by almost all of La Push so it wasn't surprising to see so many unknown bouquets. Billy sighed as he brought his gaze up to the tombstone. Billy did miss Harry; he missed Harry's jokes; Harry's fish fry (not that it was a big thing but it was a sign of their friendship); Harry's company and his understanding, when Billy had problems with the kids as well as his condition when Sarah Black passed away.

"Hey there, old friend; Long time no see. Well, I guess I should be blamed for that, since I'm the one who hasn't been coming to see you. Forgive me for that…" Billy spoke to the tombstone, as if Harry was actually there. Paul raised his eyebrow, in question and thinking that Billy was losing it but Rachel gave him one hit on the back of his head; The Black kids knew what this meant, not only to Billy but to themselves as well.

"Everything has been going good. Sue seems good, especially since our man is there to keep an eye on her. Don't worry, he would never replace you and he knows that you'll probably kick his ass if he does when he comes to that side…" Billy said, earning small giggles from the twins and a small smile from Jacob.

"The kids seem to be good too since I have my boy to look out for them…" Billy said, turning to Jacob; Jacob grinned and gave a nod. Billy knew that Jacob would be there to take care of Leah and Seth, not as a favor but because he cared for them as much as Billy did. Billy smiled at his son and then turned back at the tombstone, sighing.

"But I do miss you. You were always my right-hand man and you always will be. I hope to see you soon, old man" Billy stated, as his eyes started to sparkle from the little water collecting in his eyes, as Jacob's and Paul's eyes widened while the twins exchanged saddened looks. They weren't exactly surprised at the fact that Billy was tearing up, but they were surprised that he brought up the fact that he won't be there for so long. It was just so hard for the Black children to think of their other parent to leave them, all alone just like their mom did. The loss of one parent was bad enough for Jacob and his sisters, but to lose their darling father was just unthinkable.

"Dad…" Jacob whispered, in a very tense tone. Billy merely gave a weak smile to his kids; they all knew that he won't be here for so long, even though they didn't want to accept it. Billy sighed and then gestured to his daughters; Rachel and Rebecca gave a small nod and took a step forward together towards the tombstone, as Paul pull Billy's wheelchair to make room. The twins sunk down to both their knees and then Rebecca placed the large yellow tulip on Harry's grave.

"We all miss you, Harry…" Rebecca said, softly to the grave.

"Yeah, you were always like a father to us" Rachel sighed. Jacob walked up behind his sisters and placed his palms on his sisters' shoulders, giving them a reassuring smile. Rachel and Rebecca gave identical smiles to their baby brother as they got up and went in for a sibling cuddle. It was like old times but things changed when Rachel had moved to Washington and Rebecca married that Hawaiian surfer but now here they were, together like real brother and sisters. They pulled away from their hug and Rachel went into Paul's comforting arms whereas Rebecca gave Billy a kiss on the cheek. Jacob sighed and gazed at Harry's tombstone again.

It was just so weird to be here, to see a tombstone of someone who meant so much to you and was like family, just lay there in front of you. Jacob was of course, used to it but still had to fight that pain he felt inside. The pain of losing someone who you cared for, someone who you loved, someone who was family, someone who was a friend, a husband, a father…Father, that's when Jacob's head snapped up and turned to search for a similar face. Then he finally saw it. There she was, standing under a large oak tree, just about 50 feet away from where he was. She was leaning against it, wearing a black knee-length dress (including the black jacket and sneakers) and her head was looking to the ground. It wasn't even that she was looking something; she was more in deep thought. Her shoulder length hair and the leaves on the floor, brushed against her copper skin as she just stayed still. Jacob just gazed at her, unable to comprend if this was the same girl who used to fight and argue with him, because the beautiful, sad girl in front of him was nothing like that; it worried him a bit. He wanted so bad just to go and hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, but just when he was about to, he was interrupted by a voice.

"Will everyone take their seats? The ceremony would start shortly" the reverend said. Everyone started to shuffle towards the chairs. Paul and Rachel pushed Billy to the seats while Rebecca, wrapped her arm around Jacob's arm, supportively. Jacob snapped out and gazed at his sister, giving a small smile and started to walk to the chairs and happened to see Leah, lift her face up at the reverend's words, looking blank.

* * *

"Thank you all for coming" Sue thanked the packs and their imprints. The ceremony had gotten over and now everyone was crowded, behind the black gate at the entrance of the graveyard.

"Don't mention it, Sue. We're family, we're always here for each other" Jared said, holding Kim under his large arm, who was agreeing with whatever he said. Jared was second in command and now taking charge of Sam's pack while Sam is away on his honeymoon. Paul thought that the power might get into Jared's already big head but what could they do. Jacob walked up to Seth Clearwater, with Rebecca holding his hand. Seth looks up at his alpha and gave a weak smile. It was almost not right for Jacob to see Seth, so down and unlike.

"Hey Jacob, thanks for coming" Seth said, in his-not-so-normal-tone-but-kind-of-sad-tone. Rebecca and Jacob exchanged worried glances before Rebecca broke off from Jacob and wrapped one of her arms around Seth's chest and the other on his shoulder, patting him comfortingly.

"No problem, man. How are you doing?" Jacob asked carefully to Seth, trying not to hurt him in any way.

"Hmm…I guess I'm doing well. I mean, not the best. It feels so weird you know, so…lonely. I mean he isn't around. It has been 4-5 years but still" Seth sighs, burying his hands even more into his pockets which made Rebecca, hold him tighter.

"We know what you mean, Seth and we're here for you. We totally understand and we're sorry" Rebecca replied to Seth. Seth gave Rebecca a small smile and then removed his hand from his pocket and placed one of his arms around her shoulders. Rebecca always did like Seth. When they were young, Seth was the youngest and Rachel, Leah and at times Jacob would bully him and tease him, and Rebecca would always be there to protect and take care of Seth; she was like his superhero. Rebecca then gave Seth a small peck on his cheek (she had to stand on her toes to reach him) while Jacob just stood there, smiling understandingly.

"Well I guess we can all head back to my house for some food" Sue announced, holding Charlie's arm. Everyone agreed and was ready to go out the gate when Rachel spoke.

"Oh, where's Leah?" she asked, turning to Seth, Jacob and Rebecca. Everyone then noticed that Leah wasn't around…come to think of it, Jacob wasn't even sure if she followed them back to the gate.

"Oh, she must still be there" Seth replied.

"Okay, I'll go get her" Rachel said, removing Paul's arm from her waist and about to make her way down the path.

"No…" Jacob spoke, making Rachel stop and turn to him

"I'll get her. You guys go ahead to Sue's, I'll bring her" Jacob declared, pushing Rachel back to Paul.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah I'm sure" Jacob blandly stated.

"I'll come with you" Embry said, moving away from the crowd and looking at Jacob. Jacob looked at Embry, narrowing his eyes a bit but then rubbed the back of his neck, sighing.

"No, it's okay. I'll get her back. Don't want so much of a commotion. You guys go on ahead" Jacob uttered.

"Well, I'll wait by the car then" Embry announced. Jacob knew that Embry won't let it go; he doesn't let anything go easily which kind of gets annoying. Jacob looked at Embry and just merely shrugged before turning and walking down the path.

* * *

Jacob silently walked down the grassy path back to where the memorial was held. He shivered a bit at the sight of the tombstones, crowded around him which made him dig his hands deeper into his pockets. It was not that he was scared of the graveyard (even though it's nothing to love) but just the thought of people's bodies, buried under this green is just so weird. People who had once been brave, who had once been cared about, who had once achieved so much, who once had a life and family, who had once been loved. Jacob let out a sad sigh as he remembered the first time he had come here; the first time that he ever felt so empty, lonely, in pain, vulnerable; like someone had ripped a part of his heart out. It was as if he could still visualize his father, sunk down on his knees staring blankly at the coffin in front of him; as if he could still hear the faint cries of his sisters as they watched the coffin cover slam shut; as if he could still hear the voices in his head, screaming with mixed emotions: agony, anger, confusion, frustration when he saw the coffin being placed into the hole; the coffin of his loved dead mother. Jacob clenched his jaw tight, trying hard not to think of what he and his family had gone through when they lost his mother. It was as if there was no life in his family; there was no light from the burnt-out sun.

Just when he thought he was on the verge to run away from here, his gaze flew to a shadow peering over the tombstone. Her black hair was flat against her lean back and her hands were brought to the front of her. It was her. She was kneeling down in front of her dad's grave when Jacob slowly creeped behind her and happened to catch what she was doing.

"Hey dad, beautiful day isn't it?" she whispered to the tombstone. _She's talking to her dad about the weather?_ Jacob smiled to himself.

"Well, you know I'm not good in this whole talking to a tombstone thing you know. It doesn't seem to be right. But I thought I would try" Leah said, looking at her lap.

"Okay…" she sighed and looked up at the tombstone. "I miss you, of course. I mean you're my dad, you mean a lot to me."

"Just because he was your dad is why he means a lot to you?" Jacob blurted out, raising an eyebrow. Leah instantly jumped up and spun around to face Jacob, looking stunned.

"Jesus Christ, Black…" she said, running her hand through her hair. "You should really keep your opinions to yourself."

"It was just so weird that you used that an excuse to miss him" Jacob shrugged. Leah sighed, looking to the ground as a small wave of sadness rushed through her face but she hid it from him. She then put on a brave face and looked at Jacob with her mocking look.

"Whatever, Black. What are you doing here anyways? Stalking me?" she questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Sure, that was what I was doing. I can't get enough of you, Leah" Jacob said, rolling his eyes and Leah huffed.

"I came to take you back. Everyone is going to your place for food" Jacob explained and Leah rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"Great, more pity. Why don't we just have a sign saying 'come on in; we're sad, hurt and have no life, power or strength so please come and throw your pity at our faces!'? Seriously, some people can't strap on a pair" Leah huffed, looking away. Jacob narrowed his eyes at Leah for a minute before replying to her.

"You do paint an interesting image, Leah but I don't know why it bothers you so much" Jacob spoke.

"Because it's pathetic…" Leah spoke, turning her gaze to Jacob. "Just because something grave happened does not mean the world stops, okay? Just for a loss that someone has had doesn't give the others the advantage to feel sorry for that person, who in the end makes that person feel like a loser" Leah explained, in her annoyed tone. Jacob raised his eyebrow at the comment she made. It seemed too different and out-of-the-blue for her to say something like that. Reading Jacob's expression, Leah let out a frustrated sigh and storms past him, down the path. Jacob took a minute to clear things in his head and then turned his gaze at Harry's tombstone, sighing.

"Your daughter, I swear" and with that, he turned around and headed off in the direction, after Leah.

* * *

Leah stormed into her room, and closed the door behind her before letting out a small frustrated groan. She had just spent about 15 minutes in the car with Jacob and Embry and couldn't stand all the sad and worried looks they gave her. And as soon as she entered the house, Kim had jumped and attached herself to Leah for what felt like an hour, and Kim was sobbing. _Isn't that just lovely? _Leah huffed at her thought. Leah removed her jacket and sneakers and then just tossed it, aimlessly on her bed before retreating to the toilet. She locked the door and then started to slowly pace around, trying to think of ways to just shut all those people up. After Kim's little sobbing and hugging and 'I'm here for you' fiasco, Leah was barricaded by all these unknown people. They had their comfort, sad, pity faces on, along with a chorus of 'I'm sorry', 'Don't worry', 'You're so pretty and strong (which by the way was so random)', 'You must be taking good care of your brother and mother. Such a sweet girl' and 'Your father is really lucky to have a daughter like you.' That was the comment that made Leah snort yet feel angered about. _No, he's not lucky to have a daughter like me. You know why? Because I'm partly the reason he's dead!_ Leah's thought screamed (or wanted to scream at them).

"Sweetheart, you really should stop yelling in your head. It may cause you a minor migraine" a voice, hitting the insides of Leah's ear walls; a very familiar voice. A voice which she hadn't heard for ages and thought that she would never hear again. Leah turned around to follow that heart filling voice and she felt her body freeze at the sight. It was just unbelievable; he was there. She didn't know how and why and what but all she did was, looked at him. His long black hair was tied up in a ponytail like it always used to; his copper skin was glowing like the sun, which was behind him; he was wearing his warm smile which Leah used to always fall for; and he was wearing his favorite shirt and pants, which used to bug Sue so much because he wouldn't wear anything else but that; the same clothes he wore the last time she saw him. Leah thought that she was going to collapse, seeing this man who she loved more than anything, standing by the window in her bathroom. Then Leah shook her head trying to argue with herself again_. What the hell is going on here? What is wrong with you? You're going crazy, Clearwater! _She yelled at herself again.

"What did I just say?" Harry sighed, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning on the wall behind him. Leah turned her gaze to him, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry for yelling at myself for going crazy and hallucinating stuff that will never be possible!" Leah huffed, rolling her eyes and Harry sighed.

"Boy, you're humor and sarcasm is getting thicker by the day. No wonder, Sue always got irritated with my humor. I guess you got that a little too much from me" Harry stated, gazing at the window.

"What are you even doing here? In my bathroom? You and Seth never got into the habit of knocking. Why are you here? Why? Why?" Leah questioned, crossing her arms and making her lips go into line. Harry turned his gaze away from the window to his daughter.

"I think our whole family never got a habit of knocking…" Harry chuckled and then looked calmly at Leah. "…and also I saw my baby girl upset."

_Baby girl? Yeah right. Upset? I'm not upset. I'm okay, not upset _Leah chanted in her head.

"If so, then why are you crushing a tampon in your hand?" Harry replied. Leah's eyes widened and then realized that she was gripping onto something. _Oh shit_ she thought but then opened her hand and saw it was nothing more than a bubble gum wrap.

"Gotcha" Harry laughed at his daughter as Leah narrowed her eyes at him.

"That was lame, dad" Leah rolled her eyes, throwing the wrap at him.

"Anything to make my girl laugh" Harry stated and Leah sighed.

"That hasn't happened in a while" she said.

"That's not true. I see you laughing with Billy's son" Harry replied.

"Jake? Hmph, he's just an idiot so I laugh at his stupidity" Leah snorted.

"No, I can see it's something else" Harry smiled and Leah raised an eyebrow at her dad.

"Whatever, and what do you mean you 'see'?" Leah asked.

"You don't think I know what goes on down here? I occasionally come to see how things are. How your mom is, how Seth's been, but most importantly how you've been" Harry explained and Leah huffed, pouting a bit.

"When you were young, I used to tickle you to make you laugh" Harry grinned as he took a step closer to Leah.

"I'm not that ticklish, anymore" Leah spoke.

"Then how about this?" Harry said and then stuck his finger in his mouth, drenching it in his saliva and waved it near Leah. Leah dodged and looked at her dad, disgusted.

"Eww, wet willy. Gross dad" Leah groaned, chuckling a bit. Harry chuckled at his daughter's reaction, retracting his hand and wiping the spit on his pants' side.

"See, I made you feel better, right my little Simba?" Harry said. Leah's smile widened a bit at the old nicknames that she and her dad used to have when she was young (they used to love watching Lion King together).

"You remember that, old man?" Leah grinned but also saddened at the fact that this would never happen again.

"How could I forget it? Leah, no matter what, you'll always be my little girl who used to call me in her room in the middle of the night, and pretend to be scared of the monsters in her cupboard, just so I could stay with her and tell her stories. Or the girl who I used to place on my lap as we sat on the cliff, staring at the sunset whilst talking about the journeys and stories we could have together or talk about your future…" Harry said, placing his hand on Leah's cheek, softly. Leah slowly closed her eyes as she could still feel the slight dad warmness of her father as Harry sighed. "What happened to all of that, Leah?"

"It all disappeared…" Leah softly choked as she opened her brown eyes at her father (which was now, getting a bit glassy). "It all went away when my fate changed…and you left."

"I was there with you, Leah" Harry stated. Leah felt a bit of anger run into her at his words and she pushed his hand away from her cheek, glaring at him with glassy eyes.

"No, you weren't! Where were you when I held mom, to stop her from crying? Where were you when I turned into a wolf and I thought I lost everything? Where were you when I had to work under the same guy who stomped on my heart? Where were you when I needed you the most?" Leah snarled at Harry. Harry saddened face looked at his frustrated daughter before taking another step closer to her. Now she was snarling but her eyes were in pain and filled with sorrow.

"I know I wasn't there and I so hated that. But remember one thing Leah, I'm always there with you…" he said and then placed his hand on the left side of her chest. "…In there. Just remember that."

As Harry's hand dropped, Leah's snarl dropped as her lips started to tremble. She really missed him; she wanted him to be with her, her whole life. It was his promise to her, but she guessed that promises started to lose its value. Harry sighed and then turned his head to face the window and from the corner, there was a small smile on his face.

"It really is a beautiful day today, isn't it?" Harry said, looking into the sunlight. Leah looked at her dad, painfully and sadly, biting her lip from stopping the tears from falling down.

"I'm sorry, daddy…" Leah choked. "I'm sorry that I'm the reason you're not here with us; with me. Please forgive me. I love you soo much and I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm sorry that I'm the reason you're dead" she managed to choke and then looked away, biting her lips even harder, clenching her fists and shutting her eyes even tighter. Harry turned his old face to his daughter, with a weak smile and care in his eyes.

'Lee…" he managed to say, softly which made Leah tighten her fists even more. His voice was so caring and loving (she missed it so much), she had to gaze at this man. She slowly relaxed fists and lips; her head was low as she slowly relaxed her eyes lids; she turned her head to him before slowly lifting her head up and revealing her brown eyes at him (the same ones he had).

The next thing that happened came as a complete shock. As soon as Leah's eyes opened to his sweet father, his smile instantly dropped and his eyes were widened with shock and also…fright. Leah saw her dad's chest rise up and down, quicker than usual which made her, fill with worry. He took two steps back, still with that expression.

"Daddy…?" Leah asked, shocked and almost scared as she took a step forward towards him. He took a step away from her again, moving backwards towards the widow. Leah looked pained at her father and took another step forward to him, stretching her arm at him. As soon as her fingertips were about to feel his touch, there was a horrid gasp that came from…him, and then he…was gone; all that was there was small dust, twirling in the sunlight. Leah gasped in horror before immediately taking her hand back, clasping it onto her mouth and the other holding her chest, which was beating even harder. She felt her face get warmer and wetter, as the tears she tried to hold face, came flooding down her eyes. She just looked at the sunlight, the same place her dad was a minute was, choking on her gasps and tears, and she slowly sunk down to her knees in thump, shutting her eyes tightly making the tears and sobs increase.

It was exactly what happened before; what she exactly feared and dreaded. It was like a déjà vu. That dreaded day; the day she lost almost…everything. She could still hear her mother's shriek when she entered Leah's room and saw the 2 huge wolves there; she could still hear the hard footsteps on the staircase as her dad rushed up to see what was wrong; she could still hear Sam's and Seth's thoughts as well as Paul's cussing in her head; she could still see her dad's face when he saw her. It was the same. The same way he looked at her right now. He was ashamed and terrified of what she was; he couldn't even live to see her like this. Leah let out a small whine before, sinking down to her bottom and then resting on the bathroom floor, lying on the side of shoulder. She felt the tears change course and roll down her nose and other side of her cheek before falling on the cold white bathroom floor. She let out small almost inaudible sobs, clenching onto the bathroom rug and burying her drenched face in it as the pain shot through the core of her heart.

* * *

"Leah?" Jacob whispered as he slid into her room, closing the door behind him. It had been about half an hour since he last saw Leah (after the whole pity session, which made her storm up to her room) and he was curious to see how she was. To his surprise, she wasn't in the room. Her jacket and sneakers were thrown on the bed but there was no Leah. _She didn't run away did she? Oh man, I better call the others_ Jacob thought, but when he was just about to leave, he heard a small whimper. He froze in his place and slowly turned his body at the small noise, crunching his eyebrows together. The minute he took a step forward, the noise stopped. _Okay, that was weird_ Jacob scratched his head. He was about to leave again but then he decided to find the source for that noise. _Maybe it's Leah…but from where?_ He asked himself. He walked around her room, observing it. He had been in her room…once or twice, before she kicked him out. The walls of her room were pale yellow, with couple posters of Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Metallica, Slipknot and others like that. _Who knew that Leah actually like music, even though it's mostly loud and screamo music_ Jacob shrugged and then moved his gaze from the walls, to her large blue covered bed, then made his way to her dresser which had nothing on it, then to her study and her cupboard. But what got Jacob's gaze was her bookshelf. There were all sorts of books, magazines, albums but mostly importantly photo frames. Jacob stood in front of the bookshelf, gazing at the frames and the people, smiling and posing in them.

The one on the at most left was a wooden frame of her parents, on what looked like their wedding day. It was pretty old since Jacob could barely recognize his father in the background, next to Harry Clearwater. The young and handsome Harry had his hand draped around the beautiful Sue as they both smiled at the camera with their bridesmaids and groomsmen in the background. Jacob's brown eyes moved to the other wooden frame next to it and he couldn't help to chuckle slightly. The smiling 9 year old Leah had her arm around Seth's neck and giving him a hard rub on his head, while a pissed 5 year old Seth was pouting. The next picture was of Leah in her teens with her arms around teen Rachel and Rebecca on both sides, and some other kids that Jacob recognized from his old high school. Jacob had to admit that Leah was pretty attractive(she still kind of is) with her skinny jeans, her long hair moving with the wind and her black sleeveless that barely covered her flat stomach. The next picture was with Leah and her dad, by the beach. Leah's head was laying on her dad's lap while he stroked her forehead, and they both gazed at the sunset. Jacob knew how close Leah and her dad were and how pained she was for her when he passed away. The last picture which was on the right side was of Leah. The old Leah you could say. She was standing on the cliff, wearing her plain jeans and shirt and smiling. It was so weird and different; even though it was few years ago when the picture was taken, it felt like a lifetime for most. One of Jacob's finger traced Leah's past picture and a small smile appeared on his face.

The bathroom door suddenly flew open, hitting the back wall and making Jacob's head snap to its direction. Jacob's eyes widened at the sight. There was Leah, standing by the door with her hair, a bit messy and kind of covering her face and her head was held low, but Jacob could notice the trails of dried tears on her cheeks and then redness of her eyes. It was just so unbelievable for Jacob. This girl, this girl who he knew for god knows how long, this girl who is so tough, strong, cocky and one of the most sarcastic yet brilliant people he has ever met, was an emotional wreck right now. He saw Leah's drenched face lift up slightly and their eyes met. The first thing he saw in her eyes was vulnerability, sadness, loneliness and pain before it was shadowed by anger.

"What are you doing here, Black?" Leah demanded as her eyes started to harden its gaze and she roughly wiped off her tears.

"I came to check on you, Lee. Are you okay?" Jacob said, softly afraid to take a step towards her, in fear that she would explode.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What would make you think I'm not okay? Look, I told you before Black, stay the hell away. I don't need you, I don't need anyone!" Leah snarled but Jacob cringed at the pain that was released between those words.

"Leah, I know what you're going through. I've been there and I'm here for you" Jacob explained, desperately trying to reason and help her.

"I don't need you! I don't need you to feel pity for me! I'm fine! By myself!" Leah yelled, making her eyes even redder and she clenched her fists. If it was another guy right now, he would have instantly run out of the room, but not Jacob. No, because he knew her better and he was there for her, no matter what.

"I'm not pitying you, Leah. I'm saying that I'm here for you, because I know what it feels like to lose someone you love so much. I'm here for you, because you don't deserve to do this alone" Jacob explained, taking a step forward with his hand still on the photo frame. Leah's mouth started to tremble as she fought her way from the tears. She took in a sharp breath and then glared at Jacob, still feeling the pain jolting in her.

"No, you don't. I'm fine. I'm fine being by myself. Being alone! This is who I am! I do deserve to be alone! I do!" Leah started of screaming but then she started to choke on her tears, at her last words. Suddenly Jacob dropped his hand from the happy and care-free Leah and walked and wrapped his protective arms around this broken and fragile Leah; A side of Leah that he never saw and never wanted to see. Leah tried to push away from his grasp, trying not to give in to the tears but in the end, lost strength and collapsed into his chest, pounding onto it desperately. Her sobs didn't lessen but increased even more when the pain again reflected back on her. Her new trails of tears, stained Jacob's shirt but he didn't care; all he wanted to do is take care of this girl.

"Shh Leah…its okay" Jacob whispered, against her head as he started to slowly move backwards, leading them to her bed. But Leah didn't stop sobbing. There was no use of her keeping it in anymore, since now Jacob had seen her this way and plus, it just hurt too much. As neither of them broke from the grasp and sat down on the bed, it was as if everything was focused on them and nothing else. All that mattered was this time and them. Jacob pulled his head away from the top of her head, loosening his wrap and tried to look into her watery eyes.

"It was all my fault, Jake" Leah sobbed, as Jacob cupped her chin in his hand so he could look at her, but her eyes were to her lap. "It's my fault that he's not here today."

"No Leah, don't say that. It is most definitely not your fault and everyone knows that. Even Harry did" Jacob spoke, rubbing some of her tears off her cheek with his thumb.

"It was. He...H-He died because I-I was a mon-monster. Because he was ashamed of wh-what I was! He-he was sc-scared of me! My own fa-father" Leah moaned, looking into Jacob's eyes finally. Jacob nearly cringed at her state; her eyes were so red and there were dark trails of tears down her cheeks as well as her eyes, still carrying excess waters.

"Leah, that is not true! Don't ever say that!" Jacob gasped. Jacob couldn't even believe that Leah would think of such a thing.

"…it is" Leah moaned again, closing her eyes.

"No, it isn't. Listen to me…" Jacob said, holding on to her chin firmly as her eyes slowly opened again. "He loved you, more than you would ever know. Of course, he hated the fact that fate and our ancestors chose this path for you but he never would stop loving you. You meant everything to him and he would never ever regret having you as his daughter. Even if you're a dog or if you think that you have no future."

"Jacob…" Leah managed to choke, before being pulled into his chest again. She felt small new trails of tears fall, but she just tightened her hold around him.

"I'm here for you, Lee. You deserve so much better. And I know it" Jacob whispered, against her hair on the top of her head as he gently rubbed her back with his hand. Leah rested her head against his shoulder, letting out a strained sigh before closing her eyes, slowly reducing the tears and the sobs caught in her throat.

* * *

Jacob's head was resting on the backboard of the bed as he took small breaths, eyes closed. He was exhausted. It had been about 2 hours since he helped Leah to stop crying and not blame herself; it really takes it out off a guy. Jacob's dozed off head slowly rocked to the side, before giving up and completely falling to the right but luckily Jacob was able to pull his head up. His eyes snapped open as he gently shook his head. But then he felt something against him, or holding him on the right side of him and the bed. He turned his gaze to see what it was and wasn't totally surprised to see black hair attached to a sleeping Leah Clearwater.

He had dozed off here and now he was on Leah Clearwater's bed with the one and only Leah Clearwater. Her head was laying against his shoulder, while his right arm was draped around her shoulders and her arms were around his chest. Her body was slightly angled towards him and her left leg was kind of over his right leg. _Boy, if Leah woke up right now and saw this, she would have a full-on fit_ Jacob's thought screamed but right now for him, it didn't seem to matter. For once, he didn't care how Leah would react or how he would; all he seemed to care about was this girl who was curled next to him. She looked so peaceful and soft when she slept (something that most of the guys never experienced. Once in a life-time opportunity, probably). Her slightly sharp features were now soft and so gentle; Jacob couldn't even tell if it was the same girl. A small smile plastered on his face as he felt her body move up and down as she slept, soundly. Taking his free hand, Jacob carefully took a strand of her hair that was lying across her face, and gently swiped it behind her ear. She moved closer to his body when he gently stroked her forehead, which made the heat between the two, increase. Just then, Leah's door flew open and in came running the bubbly, 5 year old Claire who was beaming away.

"Aunt LEAH! Uncle JAKE!" Claire exclaimed, entering the room and running to the bed.

"Shh Claire" Jacob whispered to Claire. Claire let out a small giggle and leaned on the bed.

"Claire, I told you. No storming into Aunt Leah's room without knocking unless you want to die-" Quil called out and then in entered, tall and burly Quil into Leah's room, who stopped talking after seeing Jacob holding the sleeping Leah.

"Leah's asleep" Jacob stated as Quil took a step forward.

"I can see that. Woah, what did you do to her? Put her on drugs?" Quil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No…" Jacob replied, rolling his eyes. "She was just really distraught with today and all. She just needed someone."

To Jacob's surprise, Quil had his buzz grin on his face and then gave a nod saying "It's good to know you're there for her, Jake. She really needs someone like you right now."

"Thanks, Quil" Jacob replied, unsurely. Quil still had the grin plastered on as Claire slowly climbed onto the bed and sat next to Leah.

"Anyways, we just came to say bye. Oh by the way, your dad, sisters and Paul left already with Embry and they wanted me to send you home when you're ready to come home" Quil spoke, crossing his arms across his chest. Jacob gave a small nod and then peered over to see Claire plant a small peck on Leah's cheek.

"Bye Aunt Leah…" Claire whispered and then looked at Jacob, smiling and leaning forward. "Your turn."

Jacob let out a soft chuckle and bent towards Claire, who then gave him the similar peck on his cheek and retracted away, and started climbing down the bed. Jacob smiled at Claire, holding firmly onto Leah's shoulders.

"Well, see you later, Jake and tell Leah we've got her back" Quil said, grinning.

"We always have and will do" Jacob replied. Quil gave one nod before taking a hold of Claire's hand and leaving the room, closing the door behind them. Jacob sighed and shifted his weight to avoid strain, and just then his phone buzzed. He lifted himself up, holding Leah properly and making sure that he didn't wake her and took out his phone from his back pocket. It was text from…Renesmee, saying:

_How did today go? Is she doing okay? You were there for her right? She needs you Jacob as much as you could possibly need her. Remember that. Dad said that you already knew all this stuff but I was just making sure. Take care of her and I miss you. _

_See you soon, Love Ness._

Jacob raised his eyebrow at the message. He didn't know that the Cullens knew about today. Well, they probably heard it from around; it's as if you can't hide anything from them, especially with Edward around. It felt kind of weird to Jacob that Nessie sent this message saying this and since when was Edward concerned and relatable to Leah? Jacob sighed again and then looked around to where he could place his phone. He saw the bed side table and stretched to place it on it but it seemed too far. _It's amazing how a grown and tall man like me can't even place a phone on the table_ Jacob rolled his eyes and took another attempt but ended up losing a bit of his balance but luckily being able to pull himself up. But then he felt Leah shift, letting out a small moan. _Oh great, I woke her up. Way a go, Jacob._

Leah's eyes fluttered open and she began to get a view of her room. She felt something warm and comfortable that was either draped around her or she was holding and was surprised to see an arm around her shoulders and her hands around someone's firm chest. She followed her gaze up and was met with the similar brown eyes. Those memorizing eyes, the ones she could look into forever, the one she could possibly drown in, those eyes only. And they belonged to….Jacob.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" Jacob asked, with an apologetic look on his face. Leah snapped her gaze from his eyes and gazed at his face, overall before realizing that they were on her bed, together.

"I dozed off? Oh why didn't you wake me up? You must be cramping right now" Leah stated, lifting her weight from his shoulder.

"No, it's fine. Besides it looked like you needed the sleep so" Jacob said, slowly stretching his shoulder and relaxing his back on the backboard while Leah sat straight with her body angled to him.

"But you didn't have to stay, you know" she said and Jacob merely smiled.

"I didn't have to but I wanted to. It looked like you needed someone today and I was here" Jacob explained. Leah felt the sides of his lips, tug up at that remark.

"But you still didn't need to" Leah said again, looking at her lap.

"Look Lee…" Jacob sighed taking hold of Leah's hand which made Leah's head snap up at him. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I always will be; as your alpha, as a friend, as anything. This does sound corny but you mean a lot to me, Lee."

Leah gaped at his comment and just gazed at this boy's face. She could feel a small rush of heat, hit her cheeks, as well as his heat from his hand, takeover her body. His brown eyes were laid on her, softly deepening into her eyes and his soft smile, burned into her. She felt her heart speed up for a second while her breath hitched in her throat. It was a sensation she hadn't felt in a long time; or maybe something else.

"Thanks Jake…for being here" Leah managed to say, in her memorized state. Jacob's smile widened before he pulled on her hand, bringing her closer to him and eventually making her hit against his chest (where she was few hours ago).

"Don't mention it, Lee" he whispered, as he rested his chin on the top of her head. Leah let out a small and calm sigh, pulling her body closer to him. It felt good, felt secure and felt comfortable. Like she could stay like that forever or as if she was meant to be like that forever. She took in a deep breath, naturally taking in his body essence. He smelt like evergreen and something else which made his scent, intoxicating. But something bothered Leah. How come all of the sudden she started to feel so comfortable and close to Jacob? How come all of the sudden, she feels like she needs him? How come she feels so much open and alive with him? Leah closely pulled her head away from his chest and slowly lifted her head, only to be greeted by those eyes again. _God, those eyes are just so… _Leah stopped herself from finishing that sentence and just settled with a genuine smile.

"I hope I was help, then" Jacob chuckled.

"You were" Leah replied softly, not breaking contact from his eyes.

"Then that's good. But I have to leave now, Lee. It's 7 already" Jacob announced, releasing one of his hold around her and picked up his phone. Leah felt weird when he lift her hold, and not in a good way.

"It is? You spent half the day here. That's crazy" Leah replied.

"Not really, I was here for my beta so I'm good" He smiled which made few more shots of heat, rush to her cheeks but hopefully Jacob wouldn't notice cause it was covered by the tear trails.

"Well, bye Lee. I'll see you soon" Jacob said, turning to Leah and then leaning down to her forehead, before laying his lips on it, gently. Leah again felt her heart stop for second as her eyes closed. It felt so real and there was a strange yet amazing sensation she felt when she felt the heat from his lips as well as the heat from her cheeks, blend together. She didn't want him to let go but alas, he pulled away after minute, with smile and got off the bed and headed for the door. Leah opened her eyes slowly, sighing and then looked to Jacob, standing by the door.

"Take care. Love you, Lee" Jacob said, smiling at her and then giving a wink before opening the door and walking out, closing the door behind him softly. Leah slowly sunk down to her thighs and looked at her lap as she felt his warmth disappear from her, leaving that lonely coldness circling her. She couldn't exactly tell what had just happened and what she felt but most importantly why she felt it. It was as if she had just seen Jacob clearly for the first time ever. It was as if her eyes were finally opened and she saw what she had been missing; the obvious. She knew that she couldn't kid herself, let alone her dad. Incapable and unsure of what to do and why it should be done, she let out a small, soft sigh, closing her eyes again taking in all his fading away essences.

"…Me too."

* * *

**OMG! YAY! Finally! I am so sorry for the delay but well, I thought this would be a short one but I was proved wrong again. Around 10,000. I am out of control! For this chapter it was only like parts but it turned out to be so much more. I even removed 1-2 scenes (can you imagine how much I would have written if I added them?) but still sooo much. As you can see, I tried to write 3****rd**** person. It's so hard! I mean I'm so used t writing in thoughts and all but hey, I tried. The next chapter would be "hopefully" a bit shorter and will be out kind of soon. It's just been crazy with the MOCKS and all the other shit, so yeah. OH! And I forgot to mention the last time, I got a Leah haircut XD It's not like a bob, but it's short, sleek and sexy (its side parting so one side kind of sometimes covers one of my eyes) and kind of how I imagined Leah's hair to be in BD. In MD, she has the same style but like longer (till her shoulders). **

**So, Feelings are beginning to unravel. For Leah. But you can still see how she's unsure and like not fully relating or opening up to it so you'll see the progress in the other chapters. I decided to make this a week after Sam's wedding and I also made it Harry's death anniversary because it could be relatable to both, Jacob and Leah and you could see how it affected them and how they both can help each other. The whole Harry/ Leah scene was to explain Leah's stubbornness as well as the transition between her hard exterior and her soft interior. Plus, Harry is also kind of Leah's subconscious you could say since he mentions of something more between Leah and Jacob which could mostly be Leah's unsure feelings for Jake. The whole Cullens/Nessie part in this is to show how they also are relating and support Leah in all her endeavors (and maybe something else). **

"**Heart of metal has different interpretations to it, though they're all related. Metal represents being cold and stubborn. The metal is stopping her heart from being able to feel. Also, the metal is like a casing. The readers will later see that this metal casing will very gradually break down until Leah has broken free from this state of not being able to feel, not being able to move on." **

**So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and the other chapters so far and are waiting for the other chapters ahead. And don't worry, I won't try to disappoint.**

**Reviews are nice and rewarding, for me. =D**


	11. WRITER'S NOTES

**Hey guys! It's AK, the great and the most awesomest person ever who happened to write this totally amazing Fanfiction, Morning Dew.**

**Hehe, enough of my ego for now =P and I'll get to the point (or at least try to).**

**Well first of, I would like to thank all the reviewers and Fanfiction readers who loved or liked Morning Dew. Love the support (keep it coming). If you could all be sweet or nice or really helpful, if you could spread the word on my fanfic, to others who like to read twilight fanfics or who like Leah and Jacob (not necessarily together but in general). **

**The whole point of this 'writer's notes' is to clarify and explain some things that may have got you (the readers and reviewers) puzzled, unsure, disturbed or a bit blank about like context, background, time and other stuff. I am here to answer you requests and question marks.**

**Okay, I'll take this one by one. The first is on two constructive critics are got for chapter 3 'We're all to blame' (summary: Jacob saves Leah, brings her back to Cullen mansion and can't seem to stop blaming himself for doing this to her) which could also be something some of you guys would probably be wondering about as well. They seemed a bit unsatisfied with Leah's action, Jacob's easy dismissal and Seth's out of character forgiveness. I am going to kind of clarify on that (I am not saying that the critics are wrong. They kind of right but I'm trying to explain what I was thinking when writing that chapter).**

_Leah's action_ – yes, I do know that Leah is a very strong character indeed (that's why I love her) and she wouldn't go to this extent but during time, Leah seems to have changed if most haven't noticed. Sure, she still is cocky, resentful and all but she seems to be more open than usual, because of Jacob's contribution to her life. If you noticed, in Breaking Dawn you see how Leah opens up to Jacob, a part that she hadn't opened up in a while which kind of makes us see a difference in Leah (even though not a major one but it's pretty significant) and you also see how protective and understanding she is to Jacob. As the years pass, she doesn't cover up much than she used to before which kind of makes her more different and open within. And when Jacob yells at her and slaps her, it was her emotional breaking point, you could say. I mean she thought she found a place where she belonged and someone who was kind of like her and he himself turned against her (but also remember that Jacob was in denial at that moment. Probably blinded by it). It was so that the small part of her which could be her soft interior finally cracked making it affect her emotionally. But she didn't consciously try to kill herself. Like she said to Rachel that 'it was just a sudden feeling' means that it was as if her subconscious took over her since she blinded frustration (Frustration at herself, at Jacob's denial, her trust and all).

_Jacob's dismissal_ – okay, most of you guys were shocked with Jacob's "assault" over Leah and didn't think it was fair that he got away easily. What makes you think he got away easily? Of course, what he did was unthinkable especially as an alpha and friend but let's not forget that he was in denial at that moment. I don't think Leah or Jacob were thinking right. Of course Jacob was in denial because of the fact that he was in love with Bella and also that Bella is Nessie's mom and how would it be if he did something that would hurt Nessie (Plus, Leah was kind of turning him against the Cullens). He didn't mean to hurt Leah in any way that's why when he returned to Cullen mansion, he was filled with regret and guilt (Edward mentions about this in chapter 5) and he instantly goes to find Leah and apologize. Of course, the Cullens didn't exactly 'punish' Jacob because well, they wouldn't do that. They were kind of alienated from Leah but they do care for her (they just didn't show it much. They are vampires; they're calm and collected, so yeah). Jacob wasn't punished by others but he was, by himself. The fact that he pumped air and blew into her mouth just to keep her alive, the fact that he carried her all the way to Cullen house to get treated, and the fact he wouldn't leave her side shows his determination and how he wants to make it up to her. Maybe, I didn't describe his emotions, thoughts and feelings properly in the chapter so maybe some didn't get it that he was emotionally torturing himself, for what had happened. An emotional punishment is more painful than a physical one: that's kind of the main point of the story (or actually the whole sagas). The fact that he kept blaming himself and that he actually teared up when he dropped Leah home, shows how he was emotionally in pain.

_Seth's out-of-character –_ Okay, maybe I did make Seth kind of out of character when Leah's "accident" happened. That is for another reason which may start to clear up in as we go on with the story. Yes, Seth does love his sister and would do anything to protect her, but he doesn't show it because he knows that Leah wouldn't like it (so he doesn't fully show it). When Leah was brought to Cullens by Jacob, Seth is filled with shock and worry which shows his love for his sister but he doesn't show his anger and frustration with Jacob between this. Why? Because it's kind of my plan with Seth's growth. As everyone knows that Seth is a very bubbly and young boy but in this story is when he may start to mature. The fact that he didn't fight or argue with Jacob on that day was because he was keeping it inside (like what Leah would normally do) as a way of not "throwing a tantrum". But you do know that he's was indeed upset with Jake when Embry mentions that Seth hasn't been speaking to Jacob much and also the fact that Seth vented his anger on a couple of trees in the forest. Also you kind of see Seth's small resentment when Jacob asks Seth not to mention it to his mother (it's a very plain and tense and short conversation between them which is very unlike). Also when Leah's awake, you see how cold Seth is to Jacob and how he gets angry at her words 'fell off the edge' showing his anger again. I shall work on Seth's character a bit (I do think I could have worked a bit on that) and you'll see what I have in store for this boy.

**Okay, I hope I explained as much as I could about that and you understood my point. If not, please don't be afraid to ask or whatever. Okay, now I shall talk about time, context (Age and shit) and some behind the story stuff.**

**Okay age, since most of people have been confusing each other or getting confused.**

**Leah is 22, turning 23. Jacob just turned 21. Seth is 19. Sam is 1-2 years older than Leah (25, most probably). Paul is Sam's age. Jared is a year younger than Sam/Paul (24). Embry and Quil are Jacob's age. Brady and Collin (even though they aren't there much) are a year younger than Seth (18). Kim is Jared's age. Emily is a year older than Leah (24). Rachel and Rebecca are Leah's age (23). Claire is 5. Nessie looks like preteen (11-13) but kind of has a mindset of a 16-17 year old (although if you count technically, she's like 3-4 years. It's weird but she's a hybrid. What can you do?)**

**Okay, now the time structure of this story****.**

**Morning Dew is taken place 2-3 years after Breaking Dawn. The first 2 scenes happened somewhere in February (yes, I kind of researched but blah). Leah spent 2 nights, unconscious in Cullen's mansion but in total, she was there for 3 days (the third day was when she talks to Edward). There was a 3-5 day break after Jacob takes her home when she's healing, which during the time is when Quil and Emily leave their messages. The reason I made this break is to give the readers to see her healing process (as well as Jacob and Seth's renewal of their friendship) and how her 'news' have travelled around, especially to the packs. Rachel calls on the 5****th**** day (maybe, because she was the last person to hear about Leah from Jacob and Paul), which is when Leah actually answers the phone. When Embry was found on Leah's couch by Jacob and when he takes Leah to Cullens was the next morning and when Leah has visitors over is the same evening. The wedding takes place a week after the evening (which based on the card was on the March 5****th****). Harry's death anniversary was help about probably 5-7 days after the wedding (gap again to show the unsure feelings again as well as you know contrast, between occasion and sad one. Well to Leah, it both sucks but yeah =P). Oh btw, Sam got married to Emily on the 5****th**** but they left for their honeymoon like only 2 days before the death anniversary (just FYI, because you may wonder where they will be for a while). The chapter would be the day after the death anniversary (not the next morning, but the next morning after that). **

**Next, background and context****.**

**Okay, Sam and Emily are married now (yeah, no shit :P). Sue and Charlie are dating (since Breaking Dawn, I guess) and Sue spends most of the time with Charlie or at Charlie's (so you may see less of her) but she's not married to Charlie (mainly, because of Leah and Seth. I don't know, we'll see). Jared and Kim aren't engaged but they live together. Claire lives in La Push now (she has parents but she passes back and forth from them and Emily). Paul and Rachel are engaged but have been putting off the wedding. Oh! I almost forgot. Most of you all would be wondering about how Rebecca knows about werewolves/shape-shifters and how come she's back in La Push. Well, Rebecca found out about the werewolves and all since she found out that Rachel just suddenly moved to La Push, plus the obvious and weird behavior and atmosphere. So yeah, and the reason why she's back in La Push…well she's not officially back in La Push (you'll get it in the next chapter). **

**Imprinters: Sam, Jacob, Paul, Jared and Quil.**

**Non-imprinters: Leah, Seth, Embry, Collin and Brady (well, they're not imprinters yet. I don't know, we'll have to see how the story goes xP)**

**Relationships:**

**Jacob/Leah – what can I say about this one? :P all I can say is that it's complicated but understandable ( I know, I'm not helping. You'll just have to wait and see)**

**Embry/Leah- smidges of "Callwater" (if you call it that) and you're wondering why? Well, I can't tell much mainly because there is nothing much to tell. You'll have to see.**

**Leah/Bella – Okay, I kind of made Bella a bit OOC (mainly because I'm anti-Bella) but she's the same but not to Leah. Mainly because Leah yelled at her and also some other stuff and even Leah isn't fond of Bella, either. You'll start to see why I made Bella like that and you'll see how Leah and Bella's attitude to each other kind of go in its course.**

**Leah/Rosalie – They aren't exactly BBFs but they do understand each other since the fact that they are both barren and kind of an outcast. They are more like bitch friends (if that's even a word :P) but they are there to back each other up, if have to. (Their friendship grew between the gap in Leah's healing period and you'll see it grow more in the coming chapters as well)**

**Sam/Emily/Leah – Leah is still a little resentful to them, but is trying to warm up to Emily but of course, occasionally Emily kind of becomes a pain and just so ugh to Leah. Leah and Sam (I can't explain that. You'll just have to see)**

**Leah/Alice/Emmett – Leah doesn't hate Emmett or Alice but she does find them annoying at times. They are Leah's 'entertaining' clan so you'll see a lot of laughs and involvement with them.**

**Leah/Jasper/Edward/Nessie – I can't say anything here :P You'll see. *winks***

**Quil/Jacob – okay, this is not really out there much but it will. Just a heads up.**

**Seth – again, he's just the regular with everyone. But they could be a possible change or something that will happen in the future.**

**OKAY! I SAID TOO MUCH! DON'T YOU THINK? XP **

**Sorry, I tend to go on and on until someone tells me to stop or my brain suddenly says**

_**You idiot! This isn't a chapter you're writing. Now stop writing before you broadcast you not-so-secret plot to the entire Fanfiction!**_

**Mostly what I gave you guys was a little heads up as well. So yeah. Don't try to jump to conclusions though, just be prepared for the chapters to come. Anyways, I hope I clarify and explained some possible doubts or questions you might have had with the story. If you want to make a comment or ask something, please do. **

**Btw, I do not always reply to my reviews but I do read them all. The reason why I don't reply to all is because what should I reply to a 3 word sentence? I do reply to constructive critics though, and if you don't like my story and write down hate reviews, then just fricking leave and don't read it, you loser (but thankfully no one of you guys have done that. Love you)**

**I would love to get lots of reviews and critics if necessary (since I can handle critics, cause of drama) because it also helps me on how I'm doing and if I'm doing a good job or not. That way I can feed on your response to give me more of an edge as well as motivate me. Like in drama, you feed from the audience so that your performance will do well (yes, I'm a drama student. I use that in my writing, somehow). I will hopefully get the next chapter out by the end of this week, not sure. The next 2 weeks would be crazy with MOCKS, tests, course works, assignments as well as the premiere of New Moon (XD). I will try to update as quick as I can as well in trying to improve my faults.**

**So, I hope I helped with this writer's notes because if not, then I just wasted half an hour, just blabbing shit. So please don't disappoint me. =P**

**Bye bye. **


	12. Nothing, yet Everything

**Leah Clearwater**

I softly rubbed my eyes as I tried to pull my upper body off my bed. I felt the bright morning light, shine against my back as I slowly opened my sleepy eyes. I am so not a morning person or maybe I'm not a waking up type of person. I remember when I was young, and I would just lay on the roof of my house or at the beach, and just gaze at stars, planning out my 'perfect' life ahead. Pfft, how naïve was I? I mean I also thought that Sam would be mine forever and we would be married have about 3 children of our own. Pa-th-etic, I know. Ever since then, dreams just stayed as…dreams, and intentions weren't high anymore. I sighed and pulled my ass off my bed and headed, half-dazed to the bathroom. I felt my eyes become heavy while I shifted my feet on the floor, trying to reach the bathroom door but then ended hitting my bookshelf. _Oh shit!_ I groaned as I started to hop on the spot. To think that being a werewolf, I would be very alert and strong, but really…we aren't, at times. I held the shelf for balance while I rubbed my big toe before setting down on the floor. I felt my hand graze against one of my old frames and looked up to see, my fingers stroking the picture of me and dad, on the beach, watching the sunset. I paused as everything of that day came rushing into my head.

_I closed my eyes as I took in a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I gently pulled my knees against my chest as I felt the heat from the sun slowly fade into cold. This was the point in my life where I felt everything was perfect. The gentle crashing of the waves against the sand was all that filled the walls of my ears, and I was so caught up in it, I could barely hear someone shuffle against the sand and settle next to me. When my senses slowly started to regain consciousness, I could instantly recognize who was next to me; just by his natural fragrance which smelt earthy and old (kind of soothing, actually); by the sound of his low and slow paced breathing; and the feeling of his long fingers sinking into the sand beneath us. We didn't glance at each other. We just sat there, looking towards the horizon and took in the sea breeze. It was what made our relationship so strong; we didn't need to talk or do anything to understand each other. It was as if we could communicate, telepathically even though that sounds crazy but it seemed like it. We both would just spend hours on the beach, watching the sun slowly get lost into the endless waters and feel the warmth slowly become a chill. _

_It was the start of autumn, and everything started to go back to its cold, dull and gloomy state but for me, it felt quite nice. Dad and I would always come to this very spot whenever the seasons would change. Well, when I mean seasons, I mean when rain turns to snow, or when hail turns to mist, or when the slightest warmth turns to cold (there aren't really seasons here). Today, Mom decided it was a good idea to have some sort of family picnic at the beach, so here we are. Mom is probably setting the food while Seth is trying to sneak a bite. As for me, I decided to get away a bit and come here. I liked this spot because, other than the cliff, this was the other place which was directly proportional to the sun and you could see almost everything. Everything looked endless, so vast, and so magnificent. If I could paint a picture I would, but it just seemed so much better to just look at it. _

_I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, only to hear my dad do the exact same thing, at the same time. We let it out in one swift motion and then gazed right back at the sea. This felt nice. This was a part of me that like the quiet, calming and soothing part of life. Where I could just spend hours, arranging my thoughts and thinking about my life. I felt my body move slightly towards my dad, and then I slowly dropped my head down to his lap, while I stretched my long legs. I placed my hand on his knee while he leaned back, and placed one of his hands on my head. My eyes slowly closed as he gently patted my head, like he would do when he wanted to put me to sleep or to relax. This was perfect, everything was perfect now. Everything was how I wanted my life to be; my perfect life to be. At this moment, I couldn't wait to see how my perfect life would fan out. _

"_He said he loved me, dad. That he wants to be with me, forever" I sighed, and couldn't help a small smile to come across my face. I felt my dad pause for a moment before continuing to stroke my hair again._

"_And this is what you want?" he asked. I sighed and cuddled closer to him._

"_This is exactly what I want. This is the life I wanted and I have it now. Everything is perfect now" I softly replied, slowly pulling up my eyelids._

"_Well, I'm happy for you, baby. All I want is to see you happy" he replied. I turned my head upwards and looked at his gentle face._

"_I love you dad" I said with a smile. He smiled and then leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. _

"_And I will always love you" he said, pulling away from my forehead. We both smiled at each other and then turned our gaze back at the sunset. This was it. My life was indeed perfect and nothing could alter it. I have my fairytale, with my most trusted king of a father and the love of my life. I could tell the ending to this fairytale would be a happily ever after._

"_Hey smile!" Seth jumped, from out of nowhere with dad's camera and his goofy crooked toothy smile, and then a flash hit us._

I shook my head away from those thoughts and then rolled my eyes. My fairytale ending; what a load of crap. I guess fate had a better plan for me. After three months since this picture was taken, my 'darling' cousin came to town. And surprise, surprise! What do you know? That's when I stopped believing in fairytales or happy endings (well, at least happy endings for me). Just when I was about to walk away from that memory, I felt my finger flick something onto the floor. I turned around and looked down to the floor to see the back of a photo, lying next to my feet. I sighed and picked it up, and turned it over just to be hit in the gut (not literally). Guess whose picture it was? It was a picture of me with him. Yes, my ex-alpha and love, Sam Uley. _What was it even doing here? I don't even remember keeping this picture here._ I looked down at the date. The same year that the other picture was taken. The same year I thought my life was perfect. The same year that he said he loved me. The same year that he cheated on me with my cousin and hid it from me. The same year, where I was unaware of the path that fate had chosen for me; a dead end.

The picture looked like it was taken, during a party by me. The 15 year old me was beaming away as my soft cheek was pressed against a stronger cheekbone of the smiling 17 year old Sam. That fake smile on his face would have been a warning to me but I was so blinded by "love" and my vulnerability, that I didn't care. I hated how vulnerable I was. I sighed as I walked back to my bed and slumped down to it, not taking my eyes off the picture. I fished my hand inside my side drawer looking for it, still gazing at my piece of my past. When I finally found it, I pulled it out and placed it on the edge of the picture. Still not moving my gaze from the old "couple in love", I flipped my dad's old lighter open and a yellow flame emerged, which caught contact with the edge of the picture.

One of my hands was clutching onto my dad's lighter while the other was holding the other edge of the now burning picture. I saw the smile on my face slowly start to burn away, just like it really did. I felt a choke get caught in my throat as I remembered the kiss that followed after this picture was taken. I can't let this get to me. It was in the past and it's over. I looked down only to gaze at my dad's lighter, lying on my palm. I observed my dad's favorite lighter and sighed at how much I used to nag him to stop smoking and he would promise to stop but then would never, and I wouldn't bother trying again.

Maybe that was another warning to me, about what could happen in the future, but then again I didn't see it. If I had noticed these signs, I could have avoided all this regret, this pain, this loss…everything that went wrong? I don't think so. Now the flame was making its way up Sam's neck. This is what I am. This is the animal I have become and no one will be able to understand that. I felt a small tinge inside and tried to keep in it. I hated how vulnerable I could get. I hated how even though it's the past, it still has an impact on me. What is wrong with me? Why do I keep feeling like this? Is it because I regret everything and feel nothing but pain? I looked at Sam's picture and felt my grip tighten on the edge. Did it hurt so much?

"_He wasn't worth it, you know"_ I heard those familiar words, running in the inside of my head. _What the hell?_ I wondered and then I felt his slight warmth, touch my body as his words continued to ring in my ears

"_You really don't give yourself much credit, do you?"_ Jacob's words argued in my head. I crunched my eyebrows as I started to contemplate what he was trying to say. I gazed at Sam's picture again, only to feel…relief, for some odd reason. It wasn't pain that I felt when I gazed at Sam. It was as if I knew he wasn't meant for me and he wasn't worth it. I deserved someone else, not Sam. As the flame ate half of Sam's face, I released my fingers and saw the photo slowly float down to the ground, continuing to burn the remains. I don't how but somehow I was able to look at Sam and not feel pain, hatred or sadness. It was as if I was shown the light, and the truth to all this madness; Sam was just another picture to burn. I raised my hand up to my face and gazed at my dad's golden lighter.

_I know I wasn't there and I so hated that. But remember one thing Leah, I'm always there with you…" he said and then placed his hand on the left side of my chest. "…In there. Just remember that."_ That scene played in my head. Dad was right. Even though he wasn't physically there, he will always have a special place inside. He was there always, to guide me and help me understand. I just didn't think of it that way. My dad never left me; he was there and he always will be.

"_I'm here for you, Lee. You deserve so much better. And I know it"_ as if Jacob's words mimicked my dad's. Dad would be around inside me but Jacob…Jacob said that he would physically be with me, to help me. I closed my eyes, as if I could actually still feel Jacob's comforting warmth next to me. I don't know what that boy did, but why does he make it so hard for me not to care about him? Why does he keep helping me and staying with me when I needed someone the most? I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just so confused is to why he would do this and have such an impact on me?

The low grumbling of my stomach, made my eyes fly open and instantly the certain warmth faded way. I felt weird and alone when it left but I shook it off and got up. I placed my dad's lighter in my drawer and gently swept the ashes left from the picture, with my bare foot. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before heading downstairs. I briskly walked to the kitchen and started to invade my cabinets. Most of them were bare, thanks to certain bottomless-pits but thankfully I found some cereal and quickly took it off the shelf and searched for milk, bowl and a spoon.

Once I had cereal in my bowl, I slumped on the chair and started slowly eating the cereal whilst looking through the news. _2 hikers mauled by a bear_ (yeah right), _Man admits seeing big foot_ (ha-ha, now that's classic), _a hit-and-run case downtown_ (yawn), _Giant bears still roaming, freely_ (man, how long has that been going on for? And what makes them think they're bears? I mean hello! We have long tails and big snouts and we howl! I'm not helping, but still), _Killing are still at large_ (well duh, that would explain the "giant bears" still being around *rolls eyes*) etc were today's headlines. Most people from out of state, would think that this place is insane and only people who come to kill themselves would come here (…maybe) but for the locals, this is how everyday goes. I sighed and put away the newspaper, trying not to bore myself to tears when I heard someone stumble down the stairs.

"Oh shit" Seth cussed softly, pulling himself up and dusting himself off. It was unusual because he never wakes up until around noon and the fact that he's wearing jeans, shirt and a jacket. A jacket… why the hell is he carrying a jacket? We run at 108 C! I think we're good.

"You know, its better starting off the day with a 'good morning' than 'oh shit'" I said, revealing my presence. Seth's head snapped up and slowly turned to face me. I raised my eyebrow at his stunned and nervous expression; what is up with him?

"Hmm…hey…Leah…you're up early" he said, insecurely rubbing the back of his neck as he took a few slow steps towards me.

"Hmm…not really but you're up early to my surprise. Where are you headed off to?" I questioned, resting my chin on the back of my hands and narrowing my eyes at him.

"Uhh…I-I…I'm…goi-going to…Quil's place. Yeah, that's where I'm going" Seth stammered, fidgeting with his hands. I raised my eyebrow and didn't change the expression my face. Man, who knew Seth would be such bad liar with the number of hints he is giving? I mean, he's my brother. He should be good at that. I decided to play around with him for a bit.

"Really? Cause last time I heard, Quil was out with Claire and her parents for the weekend in Seattle" I said, with a hint of curiosity in my tone. Seth's eyes widened abit but then he shook his head.

"Oh! D-did I say Quil's place? No, no…I meant Embry's" Seth concluded, looking a bit proud of the alibi he just said, but he is so not out of the woods.

"Embry's place? Are you sure? Because Embry is out for full-on patrol and is pretty busy. What will you do alone in his house?" I said, titling my head at Seth. Seth's eyes widened as he bit his lip and started to bounce a bit on his feet. Okay, I'm done. I've got him.

"Seth…" I said, with a creepy smile on my face and he turned to look at me. "You tell me where you're going before I beat you to a pulp."

Seth dropped his head down and sighed, loudly. He gave in. My brother is just too easy.

"Fine…" he spoke and looked at me. "I'm seeing someone. I'm going out with someone, okay?"

"Seth, please tell me it's a girl" I said, and clasped my hands together and faked prayed. "Please tell me you are going out with a girl! Please!"

"What? Eww! YES! Yes, she is a girl! Of course she's a girl! LEAH!" Seth yelled frantically.

"Oh thank god, I thought the crush on Edward and Jacob was hilarious but if you carried on with it, I would disown you" I said and he rolled his eyes. "Who's the chick?"

"Her name's Jenna and I really like her. She's soo cool and apparently we used to go to kindergarten together but then she moved to Nashville but she's back again" Seth sighed, sounding a bit dazed.

"When did you meet her?" I questioned. My baby brother has been meeting girls and hasn't said anything about it? What the hell?

"Hmmm…I met her when…hmm…'that incident' happened…" Seth said, looking at the ground. I could tell what incident he was talking about since his fingers were digging into the chair's back. Poor kid was worried sick but hey, at least he got a girl with that.

"When Jacob ordered me to leave…I didn't go home. Instead I went to the park. I was really worried and I didn't know what to do. And as I was so dazed, I literally ran into Jenna. I didn't recognize her at first but she seemed to have recognized me. She thought I looked good, with my height and my body" Seth said, as his tone started to change to more cocky. I nearly gagged just imagining little girls drooling over my brother. Not a pretty picture.

"She was just so pretty and funny and sweet and nice and just…" he said, in a dreamy state and sighed at the end of the sentence. I tensed a bit up when I saw the look on his face. Could he have?

"Seth…" I asked, cautiously and he turned his gaze to me. "You haven't…imprinted on her, have you?"

"Does imprinting mean when all you can care and think about is her? When you feel like there's a metal rod attaching you to her? When you feel like it's your duty to protect her and her only?" Seth asked. My eyes widened a bit; this can't be good.

"…yes" I softly replied.

"Then no. I didn't imprint on her and don't care if I didn't. I still care about her enough to think and protect her" Seth simply shrugged.

"…she's not…your imprint? So you're dating her general?" I asked, sounding a bit shocked. Seth seemed to notice my tone and then sighed.

"Yeah, I guess I'm dating like a normal person which is why I was keeping it for a secret for so long. You're fine, I guess but I'm scared to tell Jacob or Sam since they think it's important to imprint" Seth confessed. Well, Jacob won't mind but Sam would. A lot. He thinks it's important to imprint to carry out the line and create stronger wolves-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

"But Seth…wh-what will happen…if you do imprint?" I worriedly asked that question. It was something that Sam should have thought (but he didn't, that jackass). I didn't want that girl to suffer the way I did and I didn't want my brother to be responsible for that.

"I thought about that and you know what Lee? If she really does mean a lot to me, I'll fight the imprint" Seth said. I raised my eyebrow at my brother. Fight the imprint? Huh? How the hell will he do that?

"I don't know how but if I have to…then I will. I would never want to hurt her. I care about her a lot and I don't know what exactly it means but I won't hurt her, the way Sam hurt you" Seth said, gazing into my eyes and sliding his hand on top of my hand. Since when did my brother get all this mature? But it felt nice, how he understood me as well. This sister/brother relationship that we had was one of a kind, which had it bad and good sides (mostly good, I guess).

"Just promise me this, Seth…" I said and gazed at him. "Don't make promises that you can't keep."

"I won't…" Seth smiled and then kissed my forehead and pulled away. My baby brother is dating, becoming wiser and mature, and he listening to me….what is this world coming to?

"Oh man, I have to go…" he said as he gazed at his phone. "What are you planning on doing today Lee?"

"I don't know. Nothing much, probably watch some television while eating leftover dust bunnies" I shrugged.

"Hey, why don't you go over to Jake's? He's home" Seth suggested. I raised my eyebrow at Seth. What the hell?

"Why would I do that?" I asked.

"I don't know. Because you're bored and he left his blazer from day before. It's on the couch, by the way. Plus you and him can have some alpha-beta quality time" Seth shrugged.

"Hmph, Jacob and me? Spending time together? It's bad enough being in his head" I huffed.

"I'm just suggesting. Anyways, I'll see you later" Seth said, as he headed for the door.

"So when will I meet this non-imprint-chick-who-stole-my-baby-bros-heart?" I shouted out.

"I don't know. Soon. Okay, bye" Seth said before slamming the door behind him.

I heard Seth's car accelerate out of the driveway while I washed my cereal bowl. After washing up, I sighed and flopped on the couch, flipping through the channels. Nothing good is on TV! I mean seriously, the OC? Give me a break. Teletubbies? Man, they freak me out! What is with the televisions as their stomachs? JONAS? What the fuck is that? The Bold and the Beautiful? How long have these people been doing this same shit over and over again? What about Brain? Is that supposed to be comedy or what? Just a guy who hooks up with girls and can't seem to find the right one… story of most people's lives.

I glanced to the side and saw Jacob's blazer, resting on the edge. _Should I go-? No, I'm not that desperate yet!_ I flipped through the channels again. _Okay yes I am!_ I turned off the television and threw the remote to the side. I can't believe I've come to this level that I would want to spend time with Jacob? _It's not a bad thing you know_. I know but still. I need to have a life that doesn't revolve around my alpha. _He's a good guy to hang around with._ Stop arguing with me!

I took a whiff of my shirt. Damn, I need to take a shower. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I slowly removed all the clothing covering my body and stepped into the shower. I turned on the knob and was instantly by warm water, which drizzled down my skin. I loved that sensation of sudden warmth. Like the warmth from the sun, the warmth of the water, the warmth of someone…their body heat; like my dad's, Seth's…Jacob's. Wait what? Huh? Sure, Jacob's warm was really securing but like…huh? I gently rinsed myself as I tried not to think about this vague and weird thoughts passing through my head.

After drying myself with a towel, I went to my cupboard, only to let out a small groan when I realized that Alice changed my clothes. I rubbed my head, as the water on my skin started to radiate away. Ah, one of the advantages of being a werewolf. I pulled out a yellow spaghetti strap top and these really cute brown short shorts. _Cute? CUTE? What was I thinking?_ Ehh, I guess I can live with this. I decided I must probably wear underwear since lately I've been going commando (there isn't anything sexy about that). I slipped on the shorts and shirt and then stepped in front of the mirror. I raised my eyebrow as I leered at my reflection. I actually looked good. Another advantage of being a werewolf: no fear of weight. I guess Alice does know what she buys. I turned my rear to the mirror and a small impressed smile come on my face. I actually look damn good; pretty fuck-able. _Pretty…fuck-able? Did I just say that? What is up with me? Damn, hormones!_ If Edward had heard this, he would be on the floor right now. But I can't help it that I just noticed how nice my ass looks. I bet the guys would have a field day with this. _Eww…okay, I need to stop. I'm too horny for my own good._ I shook my head of my thoughts and slipped on my sneakers before jogging downstairs. I picked up Jacob's jacket and threw it on my back before heading out of the door, and walked towards my alpha's house.

* * *

Finally, I got the view of Jacob's house. It had been forever since I'd been over at his place. It was always him invading my house, eating my secret food stash, watching my DVDS and breathing my air. Okay, maybe the air thing was kind of fine but still. It was a long walk to this old place. But I did manage to turn a few heads around when I was heading here. It's nice to know that I had some zest in me still. Walking down the path to the house, reminded me of how many times I used to come to this place when I was young. This was the area where Rachel and I would ride our cycles while Rebecca would complain about the seat being too hard, and Jacob would be on the floor, sulking since he hadn't got his bike yet. I chuckled at the image of the small 4 year old Jacob, sticking his tongue at me and Rachel as we both showed off our cycle stunts. I finally reached the white door of the Black house, and threw the blazer over my shoulder before ringing the door bell.

Just when I was about to ring the bell, I heard something fall of in the garage. I looked around to see if anyone was there and decided to take a little detour and check out what's going on. As soon as I entered the large yet cluttered garage, I heard Jacob's cussing from under a car. I looked down to see a metal wrench by my feet, and guessed that was what he must have dropped. I moved my gaze to Jacob (well, more like his legs since that was the only part I could see) and he did the most stupidest thing and lifted his head up, forgetting that there was a car above him. My dimwitted alpha, ladies and gentlemen.

"Oh shit!" Jacob cursed, as he dropped his head down and rubbed it with one his hands. Now, this is the point where I would say something sarcastic to mark my presence and point out his stupidity, so here it comes.

"Jacob, there is a car above you, if you hadn't noticed. Use your head. Oh wait, what am I thinking? Of course you can't use that, since it's under maintenance" I said, in my sarcastic tone with a satisfied grin on my face. By the sound of his small groan, he didn't seem to be happy. I loved it.

"Leah…as much as I love to hear your voice in the morning, mind helping me around and handing me the wrench?" Jacob asked from under the car.

"Now why would you think I would do that?" I huffed.

"Just give me the damn wrench, Leah" Jacob snarled, sticking his hand out from under the car. I rolled my eyes and picked up the wrench and handed it over to him. His hand slowly retracted back under the car and I could hear it being used. I walked towards one of the shelves, reviewing whatever that was on it, and holding on to the blazer. Why am I still holding onto to this? _Maybe because of the warmth it's carrying_….no. Psh, what am I thinking? I set the blazer down on the bench and straightened out my shirt. I heard a small thug from behind, and spun around to see my alpha, slid out from under the car. He was wearing his long black ragged cut jeans and a used-to-be-white-but-now-is-brownish-slip, which was covered even more with grease. He was so messy…so dirty. He pulled himself up and looked at the car, checking to see for any other glitches whilst wiping the grease of his hands, with a cloth he kept in his back pocket.

"Good, you learnt how to slide out and then get up. Very good Jacob" I chuckled, with thick sarcasm.

"Very funny, Le—" he said before glancing at me and then he paused. And there is a possibility I think I know why. His eyes had widened as he got a pretty 'good look' of me and what I was wearing. His eyes grazed over my body, starting from my face and moving downwards, ending at my feet, and then upwards again. I felt his gaze slid up my waist, and linger for a few seconds at my chest area before falling down to my lower half. I shifted under his gaze, realizing that I was standing in a way where my leg was almost fully exposed to his almost bulging out corneas. This kind of attention might have weirded out some girls and I was too, but I couldn't help a smug smirk to appear on my face and felt a smart comment form between my lips.

"Are you checking me out, Jacob?" I smugly asked, placing my hands on my hips. Oh my god, the expression on Jacob's face was so priceless. His eyes had diverted back to my face, with his eyes widened with shock and he looked like he was a child who had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar. My hormonal Alpha, people…My cute hormonal alpha. _Okay, that was a bit too much._ Then his expression changed in a second and now, he had a small confident grin on his face but I could still notice the small hint of red on the sides of his cheeks.

"What are you even doing here, Leah?" he said, trying to change the topic. I let out a small chuckle and then pulled down the end of my shorts, to avoid further exposure.

"I came to drop your blazer. You left it in my place, the day before" I said, gesturing to the jacket on the bench.

"Oh thanks, Billy went insane when I couldn't find it. It was my only good set" Jacob chuckled, possibly thinking about his dad, rolling all around the house, panicking.

"Well can you blame him? I mean, he's lucky that you actually own a set without ripping it to pieces" I replied, rolling my eyes. Jacob grinned and then opened the hood and peered into it, using his hand to set some parts into place.

"Is there another reason why you're here, Leah?" Jacob asked, peering into the hood.

"Ehh…I have nothing else better to do. Seth suggested some alpha-beta quality time" I rolled my eyes as I walked towards the car.

"And you agreed to it?" Jacob chuckled, fiddling with the wires.

"Well…I don't know" I replied, crossing my arms across my chest. I walked besides him and peered at what he was doing, only to be a bit distracted by the revealing of the waist band of his boxers. His jeans were just low enough for me to get a view of his entire band (Not that I care or anything).

"As much as I love to have you around to annoy me while I work, I think you should find a new hobby" Jacob sighed, reattaching the wires.

"Hey, I got your blazer back and besides, I can help" I pronounced. Jacob just merely snorted at my offer and continued to search for the problem.

"The distributor cap is loose" I said, rolling my eyes whilst fixing it for him. His head lifted from under the hood and looked at me with an impressed eyebrow raise.

"Don't forget Jacob, that at least I know something about cars" I spoke which earned me a small grin from him. "Now have I proved that I am beta enough?"

"Well, I guess it won't totally kill me to have you around. Well, not yet. So come on beta, let's get to work" Jacob announced, with a slight sparkle in his voice.

* * *

God knows, how long we spent time in the garage. I helped Jacob fix Embry's car since Embry knows shit about mechanics or anything that has wheels. Jacob would go do all the greasy work while I just handed him the tools and made smart remarks (which he also replied back). It was actually surprising on how much me and Jacob could talk about. I mean sure, we see each other almost every day – hell, he practically lives in my living room- but this time it was different. It was as if we weren't only alpha and beta but we were just like friends. I know; big red sign there! I mean me and Jacob? Friends? It would be weird saying it out loud but it felt actually quite nice. Just like how we used to be before this shit. I haven't been able to come close to someone for years. Well, Seth and maybe Embry are exceptions but this felt different, compared to theirs. I mean Seth was there when I needed someone to tease or needed some brotherly support; Embry was there when I needed someone to hold me when I was lonely; but Jacob….he was all of that and even more. I know, how weird it sounds but… I don't know; he's a great guy. We talked about how the power of the alpha is getting to Jared's head; we talked about Paul becoming Jake's family (boy, do I feel sad for him); we even talked about the bikes, which were in the corner of the garage and how he and Bella would spend hours working on it (yeah right did that leech lover –at that point- helped Jake. I couldn't even believe that she had the balls to actually ride them) and I laughed when Jacob mentioned about her injuries (stupid klutzy oaf).

"Hey, where is everyone?" I suddenly realized that there was no sound from inside.

"Oh, Dad's out fishing with Charlie and Rebecca is out doing some last minute shopping with Rachel, before she leaves to Hawaii" Jacob, said from the inside of the car. Oh, I almost forgot that Rebecca doesn't live here.

"Oh right, she's leaving. So the divorce is final huh?" I asked, leaning on my elbows on top of the car's hood.

"Yup, all she needs to do is get her half of the deal and check some paper work" Jacob said, playing with the acceleration.

"Are you sure you're okay with letting her do this alone?" I asked. I mean, they were family and it is hard going through a divorce without support.

"We all offered to go with her but stubborn as she is, she wanted to do it alone. She didn't want to trouble us" Jacob huffed. The reason why most were disappointed with Rebecca's elope is mainly because she was the more responsible and trustworthy one. She's really strong, that Rebecca.

"Wow, it's so weird that Rebecca is getting divorced. I mean, she's only 21" I announced, as he got out of the car and bent down to check the tires.

"Yeah, but she knew the consequences of getting married at a young age" Jacob said, as he checked the tire pressure. Many were not happy with the Black twin running off to Hawaii with that surfer at the age of 18. I guess, he had a point. What is with everyone sounding so grown up? Jacob sounded more of an elder brother than a younger one.

"But I mean come on, all you Blacks are love daredevils" I spoke as I walked to around the car. Jacob's head snapped up at my comment and he slowly lifted his body up with his eyebrow crunched together.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"I mean, look at you guys. Rebecca gets married to a surfer at the age of 18 and elopes, without even knowing much about him; Rachel is marrying Paul, for Christ's sake; don't even get me started on Billy's love story; and you fell in love with Bella, who was a leech lover-turned-leech who happened to love another leech, who was your 'sworn' enemy" I explained, as a matter of fact. Jacob opened his mouth a couple of times to argue back but then closed it in defeat. He knew I was right.

"I guess, we are pretty crazy" Jacob chuckled as he wiped the excess grease on his shirt.

"Seriously Jake, heard of soap?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever…" he rolled his eyes and then gazed at his shirt.

"I don't even know why I bother" He said and without a thought, he lifted his slip over his head and threw it to the side. I didn't even notice my eyes gazing over him and my mouth pop open, slightly as he pulled his rag from the back of his pants and dabbed his sweating yet firm chest. Oh…my…god. When did he start looking so fine or… did I just start noticing? I mean sure, I see them all the time shirtless, roaming everywhere but I don't think I paid that much attention. I didn't even know where to concentrate the most. His long fingers were draped around his rag as he wiped the sweat, glistening down his forehead. He then trailed his rag down to his muscular (not too muscular; just about right) long arm, as his trailed the rag around his triceps, biceps…just all around. I felt my heart start to quicken its pace, along with my breathing as he placed the rag on his chest again. Then he ran his fingers through the rag as the cloth started to lower itself. From his chest, to his fit and fine abs, all the way down to_….hello!_ I felt my breath get caught in my throat, when I saw the rag brush against the waist band of his boxers.

Oh…my…fuck, now if he just went a little bit lower and—wait stop! He was Jacob. Not just anyone. Jacob. My alpha Jacob. The dimwit Jacob. Nothing more, nothing less. That is how it would always be…or something like that? I averted my eyes quickly, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. I looked back at him with a clear mind, discarding my previously confused feelings, only to find him grinning leachoursly back at me.

"Were you checking me out?" Jacob asked me, in the same smug way that I had asked him. But all I did was stay frozen, eyes widened as the heat from my entire body rushed to my face.

"Huh?" I answered, dumbfounded. _Way a go Leah._

"Wow. I never imagine this day" laughter echoed in his voice. "Leah Clearwater. The FAMOUS Leah Clearwater was actually checking me out."

I was finally able to snap out of the 'trance' and narrow my eyes, bitterly at him. "I so was not."

"Oh, you so were. You like what you see" He said, grinning from ear to ear as he took few steps towards me. Even though, I wasn't intimidated somehow, my feet slowly started to back away from him as he moved forward.

"Psh, why would I check you out? There is nothing to check out" I huffed, trying to come off with a smart remark. But it didn't seem to be working since he kept coming closer, and I kept feeling more insecure. I mean what the fuck? It would just so bizarre; the way he was looking at me and the way he was walking towards me and the way I reacting to this. It was as if I was scared. Scared? What? I am Leah. Scared is not in my dictionary, but this so wasn't normal. If it wasn't fear than what was it? I recognized the feeling inside me. It was the same thing I'd felt for Sam all those years ago. Or could I just brand it as friendship. It had to be. The emotion was so much warmer, so much more considerate than my previous wild and reckless feelings.

Jacob moved closer to me, watching my every movement. I instinctively moved back, pressing against a counter top, and heard the distant clink of a screw driver falling off it. Just when I turned my head to the side for second, Jacob was suddenly in front of me and had his palm placed on the wall right next to my head. I couldn't even move without making it even more awkward so I just stood there, slouching back on to the wall. What is he doing? How did a joke between us get all…serious and hot?

I felt the heat from his bare chest, slowly emerging with the heat that my body was excessively giving out at the moment. I felt my heart keep skipping a beat, but not slowing its pace as I felt Jacob slowly tilted his head towards me and leaned forward. I thought my eyes would pop out of its socket when I saw him leaning in. What-wh-what is he doing? One part of me was terrified and too shocked to react (I know, that's so not me) while the other part wanted to know what he was trying to do. I felt his head, lean towards the side so that now his head was head up just above my exposed shoulder. He slowly took in a deep breath and let it out, letting his breath brush against my sweating skin. I felt my eyes start to flutter when I smelt his natural essence and felt his breath trickle all around my shoulder and hit my weak, soft spot by the neck. Oh god, there was no good feeling like this one at the moment. I felt him move his face closer to my ear, and it felt as if my pelvis just dropped. I heard his husky chuckle by my earlobe, which made me give out a small shiver.

"You know Leah? You look pretty smoking as well" he whispered, making his breath touch my skin in every direction. That was when I felt like I would crumble. My breath got hitched in my throat, and it felt like something had jumped up in my body and fell right back down. He then pulled his face to me, so we were just about 5 centimeters away and he had on his proud little smirk.

"Now we're even" he announced, tenderly as his smirk widened a bit more into a grin. But I was just so caught up in all this heat, I hadn't noticed that I had moved a bit closer him and my eyes were practically devouring his. His brown eyes just gazed into mine and I noticed my eyes were burning with this certain sensation. It was familiar but it was as if, it had been locked up for ages and finally it was able to break free. This sensation where it was as if we were the only two people there and nothing else mattered. I couldn't even think straight to even correct the thoughts I was having; all I seemed to be focused was this man, standing in front of me. All I wanted to do was hold him, or wrap myself around him so I could feel that comforting warmth that he always has and what makes me feel so good. I was so close to feeling his skin against my hands, so close to bore fully into his eyes…

"Jacob!" I heard a familiar voice called out from outside of the garage. I shook my head, shaking my recent intentions as I saw Jacob wink at me, before retracting his hand back and walking outside, to greet Embry. I slouched back against the wall as the heat around, again started to fade away along with my mindset. _Seriously, what the hell was that? I mean, Clearwater you really need to get laid._ I shook my head and pulled myself off the wall and slowly walked outside, trying to place everything back to normal. I left the garage, and saw Jacob standing with Embry, who had his back turned to me and the moment Jacob saw me, he had that smirk on again. I pushed back a strand of hair, behind my ear, embarrassed as I walked to them. Embry noticed my presence and turned to greet me with his happy-go-lucky smile, but then froze, only to have his eyes dance around my body. _Oh god, boys_. I rolled my eyes as I walked and stood between them.

"Embry, try not to burn my clothes with your look" I suggested, crossing my arms across my chest but he still didn't look up.

"Woah Leah, damn when did you become such a sexy bitch?" Embry said, still grazing my body with those big eyes.

"Quoting songs now I see, Mr. E" I snorted and then he finally looked at me and his cute shy grin plastered on his pink shaded face. Aww, he looked exactly how he looked when he was young and just moved here.

"I love the way you say Mr. E" Embry smirked, as he took a step towards me as I rolled my eyes. Embry maybe really sweet and cute but he does have a little trouble with hormones.

"Oh, it was nothing to the heat she was giving me inside the garage" Jacob stated, smirking quite proudly. My mouth hung open at him while Embry had an impressed expression on his face.

"Oh really?" Embry asked, eyeing both me and Jake.

"Oh yeah. Let's just say someone was sweating with desire" Jacob moved his gaze to me and winked. _What the hell? He did not just say that! I mean, maybe at one poin—no! Not even at one point!_ I threw a punch at the side of his rib, with my mouth still gapping open.

"What the hell Jacob?" I yelled at him. He laughed for a second before clutching the side that I punched and let out a small whimper.

"Did I actually hurt you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I mean, sure I was strong but not as strong as Jacob (even though I hated admitting it).

"Don't need to get too proud of yourself, okay? I'm still a bit sore" Jacob rolled his eyes, and straightened up, patting the spot.

"Still? Man, he digs deep" Embry said. What is going on? Who are they talking about?

"What? What happened? Who hurt you?" I asked Jacob, curiously.

"Oh that would be the work of your brother" Embry said, in as a matter of fact way. My mouth hung open again. What? Are they serious? No they can't be serious. I mean this is Seth we're talking about!

"What? Are you serious? What did he do? Jab a screwdriver in you?" I asked, hysterically.

"Actually more with claws and teeth" Jacob shrugged as he rubbed the back of his neck. Wwhha—aaat? My brother attacked Jacob? My brother who loves and worships the ground that his alpha and idol, Jacob walks on attacked him?

"What? Why?" I asked, with almost bulging eyes.

"It happened during your healing period. I had to do a lot to win Seth's trust back and his trust for taking care of you" Jacob explained, crossing his arms. That long ago? It's still there? Woah, I guess Seth is really my brother.

"But how could he have injured you so much? I mean, you're alpha" I questioned.

"I kind of let him" Jacob merely answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we both knew that I deserved it. And even if it meant that he wanted me to cause some much harm to myself, I would do it. I hurt you a lot Leah and it hurt to know that I was the reason for your pain. I would have done anything to win yours and Seth's trust back. You trust me, don't you?" Jacob asked, wearing on a saddened yet genuine smile. I couldn't help but to feel a little twinge of remorse and sadness when I laid my eyes on his. It was as if I couldn't be mad at Jacob, anymore.

"Of course, I trust you Jake" I replied, softly.

"That's all that matters" Jacob grinned and of course, I couldn't help but to return it back.

"Seth sure did lay a number on Jake. He was pretty proud of himself after that" Embry chuckled, snapping us both out of that moment.

"Well, I hope it doesn't get fully to his head" I rolled my eyes, and Jacob and Embry chuckled.

"Well, your car's done Embry with of course the help, of Miss. Clearwater here" Jacob pronounced, wiping his hands with the rag (that he still had in his hand) and stuffed it back in his back pocket.

"Well, that's great…" Embry declared and then out of nowhere, he pulled my closer to him and placed a smirk on his face. "So how about you and me go for a long drive?"

I rolled my eyes at Embry's so-called flirting and at the fact that his hand was so close to my ass. _That little groper_. Just when I was about to come off with one of my famous remarks, I felt another long arm wrap around my waist and pull me away from Embry's hold and go into another's hold. _Oh god, I'm not a yo-yo you know_. I looked up to the person's face that the arm belonged to, only to gaze up to meet my alpha's gaze. I felt my eyes widened a bit as he moved his gaze to Embry.

"I don't think so, Embry" Jacob spoke, as I continued to gaze only at him and could feel Embry's eyes narrow at Jacob.

"And why not?" he asked.

"Cause she's mine…" Jacob announced. My eyes widened for a second before going back to my stare and then he moved his gaze to me, with a small smile on his face.

"…She's my beta and she belongs to me" he said, tenderly and I thought I was dreaming or could possibly melt. Just when I was about to try to say something, he leaned down towards me and the next thing I knew his full warm lips was placed on my cheek for just a second before pulling away and grinning at Embry. I don't even know how red my face got since I felt that side of my cheek burn up, immensely. I heard the faint grumble escape from Embry's lips but my eyes were preoccupied just gaping at this guy next to me. _Cause she's mine…She's my beta and she belongs to me…cause she's mine_ was all that filled my head that moment as I felt butterflies go crazy in my stomach. That, and the fact that his hand was perfectly holding my waist, against his hip. It just seemed to fit there, like it was a part that was missing for a while. I was aware at the fact that his hand was just above my ass and his index finger seemed to have slipped a bit under my shirt, and was now blazing a small part with its heat. But I didn't even bother or more like I didn't want to say anything about that to him.

I just gazed at his face as he had a 'muted out' (by me) conversation with Embry and started to notice the things that never really appealed to me before. I hadn't noticed before how nice and smooth his russet skin was. I didn't notice how large he looked yet somehow he didn't look all that threatening. I didn't notice what beautiful face features he had, not flawless but pretty close. I didn't notice how even though his hair was a bit shaggy and messy; it just looked really good on him. I didn't notice how gently and securing he held me close to his firm body, as if I was meant to be that way. I felt my face soften at his small playful grin he gave Embry, which made my heart skip a beat a couple of times. I don't know why I was acting or feeling this way. Today has been like a revelation day for me. As if the sun has finally shone over my dark lifeless shell, and I can actually look past everything I regretted. Just by being close to this man, I was able to forget about my pain, my loss and only focus on him. I brought my face down, so that my forehead was kind of leaning onto his chest, as I tried to figure out what the heat on the cheeks and the pace of my heart meant.

"So what are you going to do now?" I heard Embry's voice finally cut through my muted shield but I didn't lift my head up. I just kept myself close and quiet as Jacob pondered.

"Hmm…I don't know. Probably head to Cullens. I haven't seen Nessie in like forever. She's worried about me" Jacob stated, and I could feel a small grin come on his face.

_Nessie…_

_Nessie._

_NESSIE_.

Oh my god, Nessie. That moment was when everything cracked; my senses, my thoughts, my actions…everything. The realization hit me like a rock was thrown right into my gut. _What am I doing? Wh-what am I thinking? Wh-Why?_ I felt a wave of guilt as well as a slight tinge of pain course through my veins. My head snapped up as I abruptly moved away from Jacob's hold and stumbled a few steps back. I felt my breath get caught in my throat before I gulped it down, quickly. Both, Jacob and Embry looked at me, with a confused look.

"Leah, what's wrong?" Embry asked, calmly.

"…No-nothing, I j-just need to go" I spoke, unevenly. My body was now facing a complete change of emotion than it was facing just few moments ago, and I didn't want it to be shown.

"Really? I thought you would want to come to Cullens with me" Jacob suggested. My head hung low a bit, as I bit my lip.

"No…No, I h-have some-something to do" I announced, roughly. I actually didn't have anything to go to, but something was telling me to leave, immediately.

"Oh okay, See you around and thanks by the way. You really are amazing, Lee" Jacob said, giving me his Jacob smile. I tried to hide my cringe when he smiled at me, because I just couldn't return it; I just couldn't.

"Bye" I said, before immediately spinning on my heel and storming into the forest clearing. I dragged my feet as fast as I could, clutching onto the sides of my arms, pushing myself to move forward and faster_. How could I let this happen? What is all of this? Why am I letting myself go back to where it all ended? Why am I feeling like I just fell about a hundred feet? Why does it hurt so much? Why do I even care?_ But all those questions came back to one thing: _Why Jacob?_

What am I even thinking? I never looked at Jacob that way and I never will. But today, that all had changed. I don't know how, what…and why. I just…I just can't even think straight. This is not right and this is not believable. I was so caught up in my thoughts that, I literally banged my shoulder against something solid and cold, bruising my shoulder and making me almost lose balance but I just continued to march on. The pain pulsing in my shoulder was just a faint sound, compared to my thoughts muddling my brain. I was holding onto myself so tightly, so that I wouldn't collapse on the floor or just start yelling like mad. I didn't know why I felt like yelling. Was it the confusion, the stupidness, the impossibility, the pain or the frustration? It didn't seem to matter because all I could think about was getting out of here. Here, meaning…just here.

I didn't look up, when I recognized my house driveway; I didn't look up when I just slammed open the door; I didn't look up when I struggled climbing the stairs, as fast as I could; I didn't look up when I collapsed on the bed, pounding into the pillow. What is happening to me? Why does this happen to me? A huge wave of emotions rushed through me, making me bite into the pillow, even harder. These emotions were familiar. Everything was starting to become familiar. The feeling I felt when Sam would smile at me; the same feeling I felt when Jacob would laugh. The same sensation whenever Sam was near me; the same sensation that I felt in the garage, with Jacob. The same longing emotion when Sam kissed me….and the same emotion, that couldn't be expressed but was longed for when I was with Jacob. How could this be possible? I mean I've known Jacob for a long time and yes, we have come close but…how close have we come? So close that we are there for each other? So close that we both needed to be near each other? So close that we needed each other's warmth to feel secure and calm? So close that we both thirsted for each other's presence, touch and just about everything? Or was that just me? The fact that I needed him; that I searched for his warmth; that I thirsted his every touch, smell… just everything.

I felt my heart start pounding harder, as I felt the heat descend from my face and run all around my body. I have been kidding myself, haven't I? No, I haven't. I've just been so blinded with my past that I never saw what was the obvious. All these mixed thoughts, all these mixed feelings…there were all there for a reason. Was it a good one or a bad one? It was definitely not a good one. No, it wasn't, since for once again I had gotten myself into a situation that would cause nothing but pain and more complication. Could it be different? Who knows? But all that I was sure that, there was always a small part of my heart that was always occupied by Jacob Black, which just happened to be growing. And now, it was revealing itself clearer in my mind…in my heart.

This thought scared me as well as worry me, at the fact that when I thought nothing could possibly happen…the impossible happened.

* * *

**OMG! HI! YES, IT'S BEEN LONG AND OMG! I GOT YOU GUYS HANGING ON A BALANCE XP. Man, sorry for the wait but again, like I said…I have been so damn busy with my MOCKS that it's not even funny. **

**Leah has finally discovered her feelings for JACOB! Yay! I just want to clear out, that it wasn't all of the sudden since in the previous chapters, there were a lot of hints of her 'possible feelings' and now this is the first time she actually faces them and admits to them. No, she did not just suddenly say 'Shit, I'm in love with Jacob'. No, she's just realizing her romantic feelings but is still unaware of what exactly is it fully and how to act on it.**

**Okay, this chapter is the actual Blackwater chapter and boy, is there a lot of tension. I tried to add humor into it by mentioning of the ass, the news and TV shows and shit like that. Now this chapter was kind of opening up since it reveals Leah's real thoughts on Sam now and the fact that Seth is dating (oh my!). There is definitely HEAT in this chapter. If you didn't notice it, you suck It was so intense and just so 'wwwooaaah' when writing that scene but I think it was worth it since it shows Leah's feelings (and hormones :P) as well as Jacob's effect on Leah. The little snippets of Rebecca's past, and Leah's as well as the Embry 'flirting' was just for entertainment and just background purposes. You guys are probably happy at the fact that Jacob wasn't forgiven easy. Yes, I tried to show Seth's character maturing and all, so I hope I did okay. I think I kind of went very vague in some paragraphs, especially in the last few but I hope you understand the point of it and understand what is going on in her head. It's just so jumbled up, it's just so 'ugh'. I will try to specify more if you're not sure about anything. **

**I shall start the next chapter in 2 days or so, because I'm taking a small break to study. Don't worry, I won't stop but I also won't be getting it out soon. The next chapter, you guys will probably love me or hate me for it. That's when Leah decides whether to act on her feelings or not and all she needs is a little convincing and support *hint hint*. So watch out. I tried a lot of improving my errors and I've been doing good right? xP You know, Fanfiction sometimes screws my stuff up too but I'll keep trying.**

**Going for New Moon tomorrow. THE PACK FINALLY!**

**Reviews would be really rewarding…for me =) **

**Oh, and since it's my 10****th**** chapter (a decade xD) I'd like to thank some of my constant reviewers who really supported and helped me through this, till now and I hope still will (and not like abandon me ;P)**

**So Thanks: Kei Kat Jones, LeahBlackILuvWerewolves, ari11990, MrsBlaCKwIfe, ItsCuzOfTheFame (like your name, btw =P), sparechange1224, Little Girlie Wolf, brankel1, Psychokillerhoney, elena blackwater, La Mariposa3795, Jada91 and others =DD. As well as other who favorites and alerted my fanfic (the others didn't, can gtfo…kidding *cough* not *cough*) **


	13. Fighting for Clarity

**Leah Clearwater**

Life sucks and then you die. Story of my life, ever since myths became reality. Ever since legends became our life. Ever since everything felt like it was controlled. Ever since love disappeared from our dictionary (or so most thought). Ever since Sam left me for Emily because she was his other half. Ever since superstitions became nothing more than just a word with no meaning. And ever since I realized that I have feelings for the heir of Ephraim Black, the true alpha of the La Push. In other words my pack mate and friend, Jacob Black.

I shifted slightly on the window sill, as I pulled my knees closer to my chest, resting my head on the back wall and gazing at the breaking of dawn. I sighed as I shook my head slowly at how stupid I was to get myself into this mess again. It had been two days since that day at Jacob's. I had to beg Seth to take my shifts and of course being as obnoxious as he is, he kept questioning me and worrying over me. But I just merely told him I wasn't feeling well. I don't think it worked well since Seth rolled his eyes before taking my patrols. Stupid excuse, since werewolves don't fall sick but I just needed some time alone, with my thoughts and my fucked up feelings. I don't even know how it happened. Oh wait, I do. I always did but I just never acknowledged. Why? Because it just was impossible. I kept telling myself the whole time I was alone, that he imprinted.

He has an imprint

He's happy with his imprint

He doesn't see me no more than a beta and just a harpy

He would never like me back

I shouldn't have these feelings for him

He is not for me and I'm not for him

I can't even believe I'm actually thinking about him, this way. I mean, he's Jacob. You remember Jacob? He was the obnoxious kid that would annoy you and hang out with Seth.

He's Jacob; who fell in love with that leech lover and wouldn't listen to you about her.

He's Jacob; who you used to hate so much because he was so cocky and just plain ridiculous.

He's Jacob; who was so obsessed with his imprint at first that he used to ignore you at times.

He's Jacob; who would never leave you side and ate all your food.

Then why? Why do I like him so much? How can I have these feelings like this? I hated him before, then how can I suddenly feel like this towards him? Why?

I let out a small sigh, leaning forward to rest my right cheek on my knee. I knew why I liked him. I liked him because…he's Jacob.

He's Jacob; who accepted you into his pack and didn't pity you.

He's Jacob; who understood your situation and helped you up.

He's Jacob; he was there to console you when you felt down.

He's Jacob: who wouldn't leave your side even when you told him to (even though you really needed him).

He's Jacob; who is always there to brighten your day with his humor, laughter, remarks or that amazing smile.

He's Jacob; who thought that you weren't a lost cause and who held you through the recent events.

He's Jacob; who even when he hurt you, he did everything to win your trust back and tell you that he cares for you.

He's the one that cares for you and the one that you can't stop loving.

_Damn it! I am so screwed_ I groaned, closing my eyes as I felt the sun's rays bend through the glass window and rest on my revealing arm. And then I hear the distinct ring of my phone. Why I have a phone, I have no clue. Anyone that I'm actually 'allowed' to talk to, I just have to turn to a furry beast or they are normally roaming around in my house. So who would even consider giving me a phone? My mom is who. It's like you can never escape from them even if they are out all night boogying with the chief of police (Ew, I just grossed myself out).

Lazily, I dropped my feet to the floor and pulled myself up, dragging my feet to my phone on my dresser. I ruffled my hair as I picked up my phone and looked at the phone screen. _Unidentified_ is what it says. _Of course its unidentified cause no one even knows that this phone exists with me_ I thought letting out a small yawn and clicking the answer button, and putting it on my ear, expecting someone with the wrong number.

"Hey Leah! It's been forever since I've heard from you. Well, I still haven't technically heard your voice yet but you get the point, right?" a very chirpy and loud voice came from the other side of the phone. Did I even know someone who had a voice like that? A voice that's high pitched and sounds like…chimes?

"Alice, you're blabbing again" another voice closer to her spoke, except in a more normal pitched and edgy tone. My eyebrows rose with realization.

"Alice?! Alice Cullen, is that you?!" I questioned, bewildered. This was indeed a very weird surprise. I mean, I actually have a fricking leech on my phone.

"Of course, it's me!" Alice gasped. "You forgot me already?! I thought I made quite an unforgettable impression!"

"Believe me Alice, I don't think she has forgotten. She just surprised" I recognized the other voice to be Rosalie. I could almost visualize Rosalie rolling her eyes and Alice having this small pout on her face. God, Alice can seriously be a kid sometimes that you can barely tell who's the adult between her and Renesmee.

"Yeah, and I'm dreading the fact that you'll stalk me for the rest of my li—Hey! Wait a minute, how the hell did you get this number?!" I exclaimed in surprise. I mean, most of the pack doesn't even know that I have a phone, let alone have a number. Then how the hell did this pixie get this number?!

"Oh you know, being a vampire for many decades, you tend to meet some interesting people. So I just asked one of them to get your number and voila!" Alice explained, ending with a small giggle.

"I don't know if I'm impressed or really violated right now" I spoke, walking around the room. Oh man, and to think that Edward didn't understand the meaning of privacy.

"I think it's both" Alice announced. My, isn't she really optimistic? I can totally picture her being at a normal funeral.

_Everyone would be moaning and crying and then there is Alice, dancing around. _

"_What a lovely day!" she exclaims. Then everybody glares at her and she looks at them, holding the side hem of her dress._

"_What? I meant weather-wise" she says innocently. _

I let out a small chuckle before snapping back to my regular tone and getting back to the point.

"So what's the deal, Alice? Are you here to talk till my ears start to bleed?" I huffed, jumping on my bed and then off. Believe me, I think she can do it.

"If you want to" Alice suggested. "Or why don't you join us for a drive to Port Angeles?"

"Oh, why would I do that?" I rolled my eyes. Sure, I've warmed up to the Cullens but it doesn't mean I want to go for drives with them or see them in public. I mean Rosalie and Alice are okay but still, I have a reputation (well, kind of). What are we going to do anyways? Have a blood drive (like a hay drive)?

"Because its fun, Rosalie and I missed you and we could go to that cute, little diner near the theatre for lunch" Alice suggested, in her high pitched voice. Missed me? Huh, that's something new. Does she mean Big Al's Diner? Well, I am hungry and I haven't been there for ages. I used to go there all the time on Fridays when Seth and I were young. Dad used to take us there when we were actually supposed to be in tuitions. It's really nice that Alice suggested it and I'm not even going to ask how she knows that (it's better that way and less creepy) but why the hell would they go there? They don't serve blood…the last time I checked.

"Hmm, well they do have the best jalapeños poppers and cheese burgers" I plainly said, remembering how Dad, Seth and I used to stuff ourselves with that junk even when we felt like we were about to explode.

"Great! So you're coming!" Alice cheered, making her voice volume increase so much more, which made me deafen for a second.

"I didn't say 'yes'!"

"You didn't say 'no' either. And anyways you will be coming because I just saw our futures disappear."

"How do you know it's me, and not Seth or…or Jacob?" my voice lowered at his name. Man, I really need to stop this, right now.

"Because there is something distinct about you so hurry up and we'll see you soon" Alice exclaimed. Before I could open my big yap again to get myself into even more crisis with the leech, Rosalie cuts me off.

"You better go with it, Leah. Nothing can get past Alice after she's reached a decision" she said. I threw my head back in frustration as I barely whispered few words into the phone.

"I hate you, pixie" I groaned. That smart little…tinker bell.

"Love you too! We'll meet you by the border" she giggled and then I heard the click at the other end of the line. Finally she's gone. Well, at least for the next few minutes. I let out a sigh before setting the phone on the dresser. Maybe it won't be so bad to go for a couple of minutes. I don't think I've seen the sun, moon or just the sky, since Seth has been taking all my shifts. Do you think Jacob noticed my absence, during patrol or just…in general? I hadn't seen him since I helped in the garage and well…that's about it. He comes around at times, but I'm normally 'asleep'. I can't keep hiding like this; it's getting ridiculous. I have to face him. _No I don't have to! Because there is nothing to face! This is nothing…just some unstable feelings; it'll go away._ Will it? I mean it hasn't been doing much so far. _It will! Cause he's not yours! He never was, and never will be! You're just complicating his life as well as your own._ That's right; there is nothing to act on. This is just nothing…nothing, nothing, NOTHING!

I rubbed the back of my head, frustrated and confused before rushing to the bathroom and turning on the shower so that the cool water could nicely bounce off my heated body and fried brain. I need to take my mind of…him and just go and hang out with our supposedly mortal enemies and killers of our land. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

* * *

I skipped down the stairs, tugging my jeans up. I heard the sound of cutlery being moved around. Oh great, Seth is having is afternoon snack-fest. I remember once I came down and he was asleep on the couch, covered in pudding and the fridge was bare but the floor wasn't. He got grounded for a week and had to cut down, but of course being a werewolf, it's close to impossible. It was a surprise to see my mom in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables. Why was it weird? Because Seth and I barely see our mom and then for her to show up suddenly, is just bizarre. We only see her on weekends, laundry days or when we have done something bad. It's Monday, laundry was done three days ago and we have been in our best behavior…I think.

"Mom?" I asked as I came into the kitchen. Mom tore her gaze from the chopping board and greeted me with her largest smile she could give. It was almost freaky seeing her like that. It had been for ever since I have seen my mom so happy ever since dad died and everything became so stressful. But now it's as if she's become a whole new woman. Her hair had that similar bounce to it (unlike my own which was always straight) and was colored entirely black (it had literally turned all white with worry before); She looked so radiant that people would barely recognize her to be my own mother; She wore a green floral shirt and her causal jeans which made her look even younger. Heck, she looked my own sister (which isn't always the best thing, for me). I guess I could be a bit grateful that Charlie Swan has put some life back into my mom.

"Hi honey, slept well?" she replied, with a smile as she piled the chopped onions into a plate and started on the carrots.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I slid onto the counter chair, resting on my elbows.

"Well I just dropped by to see my children. Is something wrong with that?" she explained, eyeballing me. I rolled my eyes and then gave her that look that she normally gave me and Seth if she knew we were lying or if there was something more. My mom took one look at me and then sighed in defeat.

"And I wanted to check you guys were doing okay and also to pick up some stuff. I hope you guys have been eating because I went through the fridge and there is nothing there" she spoke as she skinned the carrots.

"I just went to the supermarket, two days ago but I guess having a brother and other shirtless werewolves roaming around the house, you tend to go low on supplies" I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"Welcome to the world of being a woman" my mom laughed. HA! Women, yeah right.

"Whatever, where is that dork by the way? He should hear this shit" I said as I looked around in search for Seth.

"He's asleep" mom replied.

"Why am I not surprised?" I rolled my eyes.

"He was awake when I came. Actually he came in 5 minutes after I came in. He looked dead tired, like he had running 4 shifts by himself. I demanded him to take rest and of course he agreed as well. I hope Jacob isn't working him hard. I mean, he's just a kid" mom explained as she started to chop the carrots into fine circles. Right, he's just a kid and look at what I'm making him do? I should be the worst sister ever.

"I guess I'm partly to blame for that" I said, rubbing my arm.

"Oh really? How?" she inquired.

"He's…been taking my shifts, for the past two days now. I guess I didn't know how tired he would be" I confessed.

"He's been taking your shifts? Why? What happened?" my mom questioned, frantically. She can get a bit too dramatic and jump to conclusions too soon.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong. I just…I just haven't been…myself lately. Just feeling weird" I said, looking down at the countertop.

"Are you sick?" she asked.

"Hmm...No, it's more…personal issues, inside" I hesitated. I could hear she stop chopping as she brought her gaze and absolute attention to me. Oh great, she's going to want to know.

"Honey, is something wrong? Because you know you can talk to me, right? I can do whatever I can to help you" she suggested, leaning towards me and having that motherly look on her face. God, I hate it when she goes all like this on me. Makes me feel like a patient at the therapist.

"It's no big deal" I shrugged.

"It doesn't seem like. I mean what could possibly make you stay trapped at home while your poor younger brother is doing all your work? That doesn't sound right" she pronounced. I rubbed my arms a bit harder. Should I…no, this is ridiculous. It won't change anything and it would certainly not advantage anyone.

"Mom, forget it" I stated.

"Honey…" she started but I cut her off.

"Mom, it's nothing okay?" I replied, gazing at her for a second before looking away. Now it was her turn to give me that look that she normally gives when she knows that I am lying (which I am). I tried so hard not to look directly into her eyes and chanting in my head _don't look, don't fall for it, don't look, look away, look away_. After about half an hour of her stare and me, almost turning to the color of a grape, she sighed in defeat and goes back to finely cutting the leftover vegetables. _Thank god_ I sighed as I took an apple for the fruit basket and then bit into it before throwing it up in the air and catching it with my right hand. Yes, these are the small things that amuse me.

"Soo…" I decided to start after that awkward silence. "How are things going on? Work and home frontier?"

"Well, things have been good at work. It's been hectic though with all the accidents and 'other' incidents. Some people get hurt so easily" she replied, setting the veggies nicely on a black tray. I chuckled at picturing my mom, trying so hard to control her temper at a guy who keeps groaning about how uncomfortable he is with all the casts (well, if you don't like casts, then stop trying to hurt yourself is what my mom would reply). So you see, I get my temper from my mom so even if I wasn't a werewolf, I still have a menacing temper but since I am one, it's twice as wild (still nothing compared to my mom's though. Believe me or ask Seth).

"Really? They get hurt? And they actually bring them to the hospital? That is brand new information" I exclaimed in my thick sarcastic tone. My mom chuckled along with me before walking over to the oven. But even though most people say that I act like my mother, I would never be able to be a nurse like her. It's something I never considered it and never saw myself being a nurse. But it's soo cool to see my mom helping others and nursing them back to health. It sometimes makes me feel so worthless.

Mom always inspired to be a nurse and she used to take night classes when she first got married to dad but stopped after giving birth to Seth and myself. She wasn't able to start her classes again with kids and later on, of course…dad's death. That hit her pretty hard because she felt completely worthless since she stopped her classes early and she would keep beating herself up because according to her, if she was trained, she could have saved him (well, she thought she might have been able to). So she gave up her dream…until now. I guess she was the first ones to move on from dad's death and I'm not saying it as a bad thing.

"It's been pretty crazy but I love it. And Charlie has been soo sweet and supportive of it" mom said, bending down and opening the oven.

"So…how do you guys spend time together? I mean with your guys crazy jobs?" I asked, taking another bite of the apple. I felt the sweet juices seep through my teeth and just flavoring my entire mouth as she set the tray on top of the stove.

"Well, I only have to work till Dr. Cullen arrives and dismisses me, and Charlie finds time to come home around lunchtime and the evenings. Where are those mitts?" she explained as she browsed around for the mitts.

"Fourth drawer to the left. So you guys have everything planned out? Wow, so…you're happy with him?" I asked and she turned to look at me, pained a bit. "It's defenseless question, really. Are you happy with him?"

It took her a moment of thinking how to tackle this question before giving me a small smile and replied "Yes, I am. He's a great guy and I love him."

"And does he love you?" I asked, twirling the apple in my hand.

"Yeah, I think so" she chuckled.

"Then I'm happy for you, mom. You finally found someone that can make you happy and that's all I care about. Charlie's a great guy… and I'm sorry how badly I reacted when I first found out" I confessed, looking directly into my mom's confused eyes. Confused was then replaced by happiness as she smiled and squeezed the mitts in her palm.

"Thank you, Leah. It means a lot" she stated.

"You deserve it. You deserve to have someone you love and who loves you in return" I said, looking down at the apple. See? That's the one difference between her situation and mine.

I saw her open her mouth as to say something but then settled with a smile and wore her mitts and returned back to the stove. I took another bite of the apple and then looked at its shiny red outer skin, tracing my bite marks with the tip of my finger. I started to remember my conversation I had with mom when I first found out and how angry I got. She told me that she always will have a special place in her heart for dad but she loved Charlie…Huh. How is that possible? I mean, how can she love Charlie? He was one of dad's best friends… then how can she do that to him?

"Mom…?" I spoke.

"Hmm…?" I heard her place the tray into the oven and set the timer.

"What did you mean by 'Love has no boundaries'?" I sighed, trying to find my own reflection on the apple's skin. I heard the oven close and heard her straighten up right away. Of course she would be a bit surprised; I am too. She slowly turned to face me as I heavily lifted my head to meet her gaze. She narrowed her eyes at me before relaxing and pulling the mitts off.

"Why do you…" she started off.

"I was just wondering because I did have a reason to be mad at you first. I mean he was dad's best friend and then when dad was…gone, you just suddenly ended up with him? What happened there? I mean did you always like Charlie but dad was always in the way?" I pronounced. I really needed to know because I didn't fully understand it.

"No, no, of course not honey. I loved your dad and Charlie was merely a friend" she explained, walking towards the counter.

"Then what happened?" I questioned.

"…Love happened" she simply answered.

"How can love just suddenly happened?" I asked, a bit agitated.

"It wasn't like love at first sight or anything. No, it was…just the process to reach love" she explained but then saw the confusion on my face and decided to elaborate. "I never pictured myself to fall in love with Charlie, but honey…it's something you can't really help. Once you become close to someone, you enjoy their company, you feel comfortable with them, feelings start to grow. Because your heart decides that this person could be the one for you."

"…what if your heart's wrong?" I softly questioned, looking down again.

"You keep wondering if your heart is teasing you but the truth is that, it's almost never wrong. Sure, it may not end the way you want it to but just to love someone is the best feeling ever. With greater pain, it also brings greater pleasure. I loved your dad more than anything in the world and it hurt me so much when he left our lives that I thought I couldn't love again. But like I said, heart never stops loving" she explained, filled with emotions. I guess I could understand her since that's how I felt with Sam and now he's gone, it may be getting slowly filled by Jacob.

"W-What…What if that person doesn't love you back? Or can't love you back? Then all you're left with is pain, isn't it? So isn't it better doing what is right rather than listening to everything your heart says?" I spoke, slowly lifting my head up to face my mom. I saw mom's face smear with worry since she could detect a bit of sadness in my tone as well as given away in my eyes. Before anything else would spill out, I turned my eyes to face the doorway, gripping tightly onto the apple. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have asked. What the hell am I doing? I know this won't cause anything but more worry.

"H-Honey, what's wrong? I'm worried" she asked, worried. Great, look what have you done now, Leah. "…what's going on? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"M-Mom, it's nothing. It's stupid" I abruptly replied.

"But then why did you…" I was able to cut her off.

"I was just curious, that's all! Look, there is nothing to worry about. I'm fine, honestly. Now back to topic, so you and Charlie…what's up with you guys? You guys moving forward or just staying put and having some fun?" I quickly announced. That topic is closed; no one shall talk about it. She opened her mouth several times but then closed it shut. I knew she was trying so hard not to argue with me to get an answer. I took another bite of the apple as she finally was able to phrase some words.

"…Oh, well since you brought it up, there is something. Actually, it was another reason I came here today" she finally gave up and said.

"Okay, shoot."

"Well…hmmm…I wanted to talk to both, you and Seth but I guess I should let you know what you think first" she explained and I just nodded along, quietly chewing on the apple mush in my mouth.

"Hmm…" she said, rubbing the counter with a dish rag and then looked up at me, a bit nervous. "Charlie…asked me to…move in, with him."

I stopped chewing at that moment and felt the mush fall from the roof of my mouth onto my tongue. Did she say move in? Did she say that Charlie, the guy who doesn't like the word 'commitment', actually asked my mother to move in with him? Woah, what is happening around here? Everyone needs a news flash, including myself. But I guess, I can't be completely shocked. So I did whatever a real daughter would do.

"That's great, mom. You and him are finally moving on. This is huge and I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, you anyways practically live there but now you officially going to live there. I'm…happy for you, really" I declared. I saw my mom sparkle for a moment before it turned it back to confused and unsure.

"Really? Are you sure? You know that it means that you and Seth will be on your own? I won't be around. So you are sure about this?" she asked, tentatively.

"You'll still be are mom, right? You're still going to be around, haunting our lives till the ends of time" I stated, chuckling.

"Of course" she rolled her eyes and we both laughed. I loved my mom and I guess I would do anything to see her happy again and since Charlie is that reason, then you just have to make some adjustments.

"You'll just be with the one that you love and who loves you back" I spoke, sensing the tone of my voice becoming softer. She seemed to notice it too and again had that worried look in her eyes. Oh shit, I need to do something quick, now!

"Leah…" my mom started off before I jumped off the seat and stood up, looking at my watch.

"Oh look at time! I need to go. I'm meeting Alice and Rosalie soon and we're going to Port Angeles" I said, shadowing my previous emotions.

"…Oh… the Cullens? I didn't know you started hanging out with bloodsucking vampires" mom finally snapped out from her worried look and smiled at me. That's my mom.

"Well, it kind of grew on me these few years and besides they are filthy rich so might as well take advantage of it. So don't wait up" I said, placing my half eaten apple on the counter.

"Oh okay, I'm leaving soon anyways. Lay off Seth for a while, please" she spoke.

"Sure, mom. I'll anyways get back on track. Bye mom" I replied and headed for the door.

"See you, honey. Be careful and don't get into any trouble" she exclaimed before turning back to oven.

"I'll try…" I replied and then opened the door and went out, slowly shaking my head and sighed "Believe me, I really am."

* * *

**IMP: Check my 'Writer's Notes' again since I just updated it. I just realized after reading my story that I had gotten the ages and time totally wrong *facepalm*. So do see that so you have an idea of how old the charries are because it's kind of important. **

**I . AM. SO. SORRY. SORRY. SORRY. I know, it's been a huge delay but everything has been so crazy. Like I said before, I had MOCKS and then I had Christmas break for which I went to Malaysia for. I wanted to write there but I was easily distracted =P and when I came back I didn't have time because school started and I didn't do at all well in the MOCKS fail. So it's been all 'AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH' for me. But now that I'm here, I guess it s all cool. But I have some news. Due to my pathetic marks, I gonna have to study double time so that means less time on the computer which means less time on Fanfiction =( Which means slower updates. Sorry guys but at least I'm not abandoning you guys (well, not yet =P). Not to mention that I have some other work that I'm working on. Fading Shadow is on hold since I'm still planning what's gonna happen next (I didn't fully think that through too so yeah. I mean, I know what I want but I can't arrange it right) and I'm working on my first M-rated Oneshot which will be done soon, hopefully.**

**Leah is soo confused with her feelings right now. She knows she likes Jake but she doesn't know how or why. It has been 2 days since she last saw Jake and she knows she can't keep hiding from him. The talk that she had with Sue is just to show their relationship and how they are actually in kind of same (ish) scenarios. This was also supposed to include when Leah meets up with Alice and Rosalie but I decided to put it in the next chapter.**

**Btw, it's the next chapter that you're either gonna love me or hate me for. I had to add this chapter to explain the feelings and how she fighting and responding to them. The next chapter would be like the high point as in what she's gonna do and other stuff. **

**Oh btw, my late greetings: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! =D (this year better be good because last year sucked platypus ).**

**Reviews would get you happy thoughts, sent by me xD**


	14. Plunge into the Deep End

**Leah Clearwater**

Okay, right now I was pacing my room, trying to avoid the bits and pieces of my nails, scattered on its floor. Today was beyond bizarre. How do people know these stuff without me even opening my mouth? _Well, I guess being a leech has some advantages… for them_. I sighed and sunk down to my bed, thinking about the recent events that happened this morning, this afternoon. After chatting up with mom, I headed for the forest towards the treaty border. I still didn't get why we still had that border since well…things have changed (with Jacob…imprinting on the hybrid and all). But of course big-headed Sam still believes that they should keep it in order to respect what our ancestors created this border for.

You could say that Sam is such a suck up to our 'legends' and all that shit; and I've noticed that ever since Jacob took position of alpha with his own pack, Sam has been trying so hard to empower Jacob and prove that even though Jacob is the rightful alpha, he is more capable. He is such a jackass when it comes to the pack. I mean he anyways is trying to phase less since he wants to grow older with his Emily and all (…no comment), then why does he keep trying to pick a fight for no reason? That's Sam for you.

And who says Jacob isn't capable? He's been doing a pretty fucking good job for these past years that Sam should really give credit for him; he deserves it. Oh god…I have got to stop thinking about Jacob. I sound soo pathetic. I act like I'm his posse and all I can do is think about him and do whatever he does. I do not do that….I really don't. Sure, I think about him and I sometimes think how it would be like if we ever were to come together and…

_shut up_

_Shut up_

_SHUT UP!_

Why am I doing this for myself? I know really well that it's not possible_._ And I've made my decision and it's better for everyone that I stick to it. Nothing is going to change it. Or can it? God, those leeches are really screwing my mind up. Especially after today.

"_Hey Leah!" I heard someone exclaim from behind me and I didn't need to be a genius to recognize that voice. I just needed to be a dog, which I happened to be._

_I sighed as I turned around and saw a red BMW convertible parked by the side of the road (where the treaty line was set). In it was Alice, sitting on top of the front passenger seat, smiling in all her glory with her legs crossed over elegantly and her hands placed on top of her thighs, flattening her sundress; Rosalie was at the wheel with one hand resting on door, and her blond locks set perfectly around her flawless face, as a small grin plastered on her face. But who I was definitely not expecting to be there was the blonde one—what's his name? Jazz? Jason? Jasper! That's right. He was sitting at the other end of the back row, resting against the door with arms crossed and just gazed with me in a way that made me feel kind of insecure._

"_Thank god you made it because Alice was really close to breaking the treaty" Rosalie chuckled as I walked slowly towards the car, with hands in my pockets._

"_Well good for me. Nice to see you Jasper, a surprise actually. Didn't think you'd come" I stated, as I stood by the back door, gazing at him._

"_I'd like to know you better if you don't mind" Jasper merely replied, with a small grin._

"_I guess" I shrugged._

"_And also he's here to help me pick out the right clothes. After all, his taste matters to me since he's the one that sees most of them…before they come off" Alice giggled and turned back to give a wink at Jasper, who sheepishly smiled at her. I felt my mouth slowly open as I started to get very wrong mental images in my head. Thank god Edward wasn't here or he would be gagging, at my images and maybe Jasper and Alice's too._

"_Anyways…" Rosalie spoke out, from the awkward moment. "We better head out if you want to eat or if Alice wants to shop, or if we prefer not to get ripped to bits by one of your misguided pack mutts."_

"_Let's go then, get in Leah" Alice said, as she slid down onto the front seat and Rosalie put on her Gucci sunglasses. I let out a small sigh as I opened the back door, thinking if I could back out somehow but it was not as if I have anything else better to do. I sat on the right side of the back seat while Jasper kept his distance, sitting on the left side leaning against the door and back of Rosalie's seat. I wrinkled my nose at the sudden stench but then was comforted when Rosalie started the car and started to drive down the road, letting the stench to blow away from me, temporarily. _

* * *

_I tapped my fingers against my thighs, whistling to 'Who Knew' by Pink since we were waiting in the car till Alice has done running her errands. Rosalie as usual was gushing over herself in the mirror; I mean she's cool and we kind of alike but she's a bit too vain for anyone's good. However Jasper again, is gazing at me in that very…trance and concentrated expression. And what's even creepier is that he has this knowing smile on his face but the thing is that…I don't know what he knows which is bugging me. I glanced at his direction, a couple of times before looking away, and then he chuckled._

"_I'm sorry, am I making you a bit uncomfortable?" Jasper asked, amused. Hmm…let me thin—YEAH!_

"_Hmm, sorta. What's with the look you have every time you see me? It's kind of very…you know" I said, finally looking at him a bit properly. _

"_I just find you really interesting, Leah Clearwater" he stated, having his hands bundled under his chest, it looked almost invisible._

"_Thanks…I guess. Wow, you and your brother are kind of alike" I replied._

"_Yeah, I guess we are, mainly because we both have abilities that deal mostly with personal issues with people. Or in your words, 'we have no sense of fucking privacy' " Jasper grinned. Huh. So they know that it's annoying. Interesting._

"_So what am I to you guys? Some sort of specimen?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow._

"_No, me and my brother just have this habit of being curious" _

"_About what?"_

"_Well for me, it's more like how your feelings are organized; how they function and react to situations; and most importantly how they transform or change…"_

"…_any luck?"_

"_Nah, just the same old. But it's great that you finally able to figure out your real feelings for Jacob"_

_That's what made me choke. What did this leech say? No way did he say that I have feelings…I'm not denying it but…how did he…?_

"_What? What are you talking about?" I baffled, gazing at him with wide eyes._

"_Edward did say you might be like this" Jasper chuckled, showing his white teeth._

"_Se-seriously, I have n-no idea what you-your ta-talking about" I felt myself stutter as I tried to glance away from his gaze._

"_I gotta say, even though it's kind of revolting…I'm not surprised" Rosalie finally spoke, applying lipstick._

"_Neither was I; I always knew something was up" Alice suddenly appeared and got into the car, carrying bags before I could argue Rosalie's point. I felt my mouth drop open a bit as I gazed from Rosalie, to Alice and then to Jasper._

"_What are you guys talking about? It's not true; I don't have feelings for Jacob" I tried to fight my case but by the way I was talking or maybe my body language, I knew I was losing._

"_Leah, I can sense your emotions change at just the mere mention of his name. It's kind of clear" Jasper pronounced, slouching even more into that corner so that he was directly facing me._

"_Well, well, then you're mistaken. There is nothing going on with me and Jacob" I cried._

"_But there could be" Alice said, stuffing the bags in the space below the dashboard._

"_No, because I don't see Jacob…that way" I stated._

"_Really? Cause according to Edward, you seemed to be going through hell to figure out your feelings for the Alpha mutt" Rosalie declared, turning to gaze at me, through her sunglasses with a small smirk on her face._

"_How the hell does Edward know? For all I know, is that Edward can't read my thoughts unless I want him to" I clarified finally thinking that I had caught them…Apparently not._

"_Or he can pick bits and pieces of it or if your thoughts are literally screaming, he can read them…which is what he exactly did two days ago. Apparently he was hunting when he saw you run past him, almost in tears, with thoughts screaming about Jacob and how you feel towards him" Alice replied. I blanked out for a moment. Oh...my...god. Two days ago….two days ago, that was the day I went to Jake's and helped him in the garage. And also…shit! I didn't just hit some tree or cold wall or something. It was Edward! Damn it, I knew that leech would be involved too._

"_We-well, that was…well I…well, hmm…" I was trying to think of a right defense but I couldn't think of any._

"_Leah, it's okay if you have feelings for Jacob. Nothing to be totally ashamed off but denying it, especially from us who can sense them, is not going to help" Alice said, turning to look at me._

"_Bu-But I don—"_

"_Don't"_

"_But I-"_

"_DON'T"_

_I opened my mouth a couple more times but the look on Alice's face made me let my defense down. Why bother? I mean, it's obvious that they know about (with having a mind reader and emotion controller) so why waste my breath? Man, thank god I didn't study law because I suck at arguing with tiny pixie looking creatures. Alice on the other hand, does seem to have an effective technique. Sensing my back down, Alice settled with a small smile and then turned to look at the front mirror, arranging the spikes at the bottom of her hair. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me as I slowly slouched into the seat, sighing heavily._

"_But…it doesn't change anything" I sighed, after a moment of silence. It was true; even if they knew about it, it still doesn't change…anything._

"_What do you mean?" Alice asked. I looked at her with a sad smile and sighed again._

"_I mean that…he still isn't meant for me. He was never mine and never will be" I stated as Rosalie slowly pulled the car out of the parking zone and towards the road._

"_Why do you say that? How do you know?" Jasper questioned. Isn't it obvious?_

"_Because he imprinted. He's with Nessie. He isn't meant for me. He and Renesmee are meant to be together" I replied, trying to cover my sadness. At that mention, I saw Rosalie's grip on the steering wheel tighten a bit as her face screwed up a bit in disgust._

"_What's wrong Rose?" I asked her._

"_Nothing, it's just…not right" she merely replied, eyes on the road._

"_Not right? You…don't like Jake and Nessie together?"_

_She sighed, slowly flexing her fingers against the wheel. "Look, I love Nessie with all my heart and even though the mutt is as annoying as hell…I think he's a good guy…but…"_

"_But…?"_

"_This is not what I wanted for Nessie" Rosalie pronounced, sadly and a bit frustrated. "I mean, she's soo young and she hasn't had any time to find someone that she could love truly without being forced. But now, she can't have that because now it's as if she's already claimed like some sort of product. This weird wolf thing you have is totally unfair"_

"_Believe me, I know, but it's not something we can change, you know"_

"_But that hasn't stopped you from loving him, has it?" Alice suddenly exclaimed which caught me off guard. Love? Hmm...That's a strong word to use but do I want to use it? No, No, NO!_

"_Hasn't stopped? I-It never…started" I replied, weakly._

"_We actually knew you had feelings for him, in the beginning" she shrugged._

"…_what? Y-you did? How?" cause I hell didn't see this coming._

"_Well, just the general I guess. How you would always be there for him, how you would hurt when he did, how you would be so protective of him, and how most of your thoughts seemed to concern him. It was as if he had got you to forget about Sam, so says Edward" she explained, slowly patting her hair down, so it won't get caught with the wind as we drove quite fast down the road. Okay, that was purely beta purposes…sort of. I just being a good friend and beta and…wait, helped me forget about Sam? I never…really thought about it. I mean, wow…I mean…no comment. God, I need to get my head straight! This is not the way this needs to be going! _

"_But it doesn't change anything!" I cried, finally realizing how I was going to face this discussion._

"_Why not?" Alice asked._

"_Because he's not mine and I…I don't…love him!" I stated, pulling myself up from my slouch position and almost glaring at her._

"_I thought I told you not to deny"_

"_I'm not... I just…look here's the bottom line, Jacob is not mine; he's Renesmee's. Slowly she'll start to feel love towards him and…they'll…be together. What I have with Jacob is nothing!"_

"_The only reason Jacob is with Renesmee is because of this stupid imprinting" Rosalie stated._

"_Well, well…we can't do anything about that! Fate thinks they are meant to be together so they have to be together! Why are you guys making it so hard?"_

"_Why are you siding with imprinting? I thought you didn't favor it at all"_

"_I…I…" I sighed and looked down at my lap. "All I want…is to see Jacob happy. He's been through a lot and he deserves some sort of happiness; Nessie makes Jacob happy…so…"_

"…_Jacob may be a mutt and sometimes say the most stupidest things that may cause you pain but…I think he deserves a girl more like you and I think he can keep you happy. You guys would be great together" Rosalie softly declared._

"_He really does care about you, Leah. More than you know" Alice said, resting her cheek on the side of her seat as she gazed at him with soft eyes._

"…_we aren't meant to be together. Nessie is his imprint and as long as they both are happy and love each other…" I couldn't finish that sentence since I felt a small twinge surge through my chest._

"_Has anyone tried fighting it…?" Jasper finally spoke but not finishing his sentence. I looked up at him with a confused expression._

"_Fight what?"_

"_The imprint; has anyone fought it?" he said, slowly pulling himself up to sit in an upright position, with his hands still crossed against his chest. I can't believe…what I'm hearing. Fighting an…imprint? Where the hell do they get this stuff from?_

"_What? Why…why would anyone want to fight an imprint? Why are you asking this?" my mouth was hanging open._

"_Just curious" he shrugged. Curious? It's okay to be curious if you wonder why girls bleed every month (well, normal girls) and it's okay to be curious when you're young and wanted to know where babies came from. But this is like…curious for the impossible._

"_No, No….why would anyone want to do that?"_

"_But has anyone tried?"_

"…_well…not that I know of"_

"_Then how do you know, it's not possible?"_

"_Because it is! I mean, its fate and that person is your soulmate. Why would anyone want to fight an imprint and for what?" I yelled, ignoring how long I was but of course no one else could hear because we were driving at 150 km/h most probably. _

"_But didn't people think that there was no such thing as a female shape-shifter but you proved them wrong. How do you know that this isn't as much of a myth as you are?"_

"_Well…I-I…what brought this on?" I asked, staring at him with wide eyes that I felt that they just might pop out like a cartoon. I saw Alice and Rosalie exchange glances as Jasper just merely gazed at me. My eyes started to grow as I felt everything fall into place in my head._

"_Oh my god…you guys aren't thinking of…breaking Nessie and Jacob's imprint are you?" I asked, bewildered._

"_What? No, no of course not. We just were curious because we just…have been getting that impression lately" Rosalie, quickly replied, turning at the corner as the car slowly headed down the road, which were surrounded by the forest._

"_Impression? From who?" I asked, a bit curious and annoyed. Alice and Rosalie again exchanged glances while one of the sides of Jasper's lip tugged up a bit. Oh god…are they serious?_

"_Fro-from…" I was unsure to even finish that sentence. "From…Renesmee and…Jacob…?"_

"_That's why we were trying to understand your feelings for him because we thought that he-" no way in hell was I letting Alice finish her sentence off._

"_You guys have lost your minds! I mean how could you think this? I mean, OH MY GOD! He's not trying to break the imprint what so ever! He loves Nessie too much and she loves him too! She's his…everything" I can't believe I kind of choked on that last word but…it was true._

"_But Leah—"_

"_No, stop! You guys need to face it that Jacob is with Nessie and they shall be together because they are meant to be. What I have for him is nothing. It's just a crush, definitely, nothing more. Seriously!" I roared as Rosalie slowly turned the car to the side of the road as we came close to the border. The only person who wasn't buying my words was Jasper. He just looked at me with a fixed gaze with a small grin tugged on his lips._

"_Are you sure?" he said, straining on the word 'you'. Something made me pause; his eyes. It was if they were piercing right through me, trying to make me find the real hidden reason and why my heart almost felt like it was shriveled up. No way am I letting this leech try and crack my exterior. I know the truth and I facing it. _

"_I'm sure" I said, straightening up. "There's nothing between me and Jacob, nothing. Just a crush and Jacob doesn't see me more than just a harpy, for his amusement and just his beta at times so yeah. He doesn't have those sort of feelings…for me."_

_The car pulled to a stop by the border and there was a silence. I let out the last breath in me and opened the door and got out. They all glanced at me as I turned back to them, closing the back door._

"_I'll see you guys later. Thanks for the treat by the way, it was more fun than I expected" I said, truthfully. It was fun despite this whole episode._

"_See? So I'm guessing we'll be seeing a lot of you around huh?" Alice beamed. I wasn't sure but then I glanced at Rosalie's pleading expression and gave in._

"_Yeah, I guess" I sighed, chuckling a bit._

"_Yay! See you soon Leah" Alice asserted, wrapping a new scarf she bought around her neck._

"_Yeah, see you" I said as I turned to walk away._

"_It was a pleasure spending time with you Leah" Jasper announced. I turned back and gave him a smile as Rosalie started the car engine again._

"_Oh by the way…" Jasper continued, gazing up at me with that grin again. "Don't be too sure about what you think Jacob feels for you because his emotions have been…quite unstable lately and according to Edward, he's having second thoughts. He's cares a lot about you and it's starting to grow since Edward did mention that you're in his head just as much as Nessie is, lately. Just FYI"_

_His grin grew and he winked at me. Just as I had opened my mouth in retort, Rosalie took off down the road. I just gazed as the car sped off into the distance, becoming smaller and smaller. What did he…mean by that? That question that circled my head, over and over again._

It was wrapped around my head all day and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Is he trying to play mind games with me? I thought Edward was the only one who loved them. Speaking of Edward, something was begging me to go see him and clear this out. I know, it's weird for me to go want to see a leech about something this personal. Well, apparently nothing to personal to Edward since somehow he always has a way of creeping in. But ever since that day when him and I actually had a mature conversation that didn't involve me barfing or him being excessively annoying, it has been quite easy speaking to him. He just seems to have a way of understanding situations, especially my own, I guess. Maybe if I just talk to him and just sort this 'misunderstanding' out…maybe I could call him. I have no idea what his number is since I don't have vampires in my contacts. Maybe if I go over and get it over with? Nah, he'll probably be busy with family. So I'll just wait till the morning… I can do that.

…Right?

…I have no patience right now. I need to get my mind and name cleared. I jumped off the bed and grabbed my jacket and headed down the stairs. _Plus, he's a vampire and they don't sleep, perfect. _And the Cullens did say that I'm always welcomed and they can't complain since they didn't give any specific timings, so HA! I entered the living room, looking around for mom's car keys when Seth came into the room, blabbing on the phone.

"You didn't. You are amazing you know that? I'm so lucky to have you, babe" he gushed over the phone as he strolled around the living room. I looked through the cabinets but no sign of the keys. I really need a nice key holder.

"Oh okay, hold on a sec" Seth said as he removed the phone from his ear and held it out to me. "Leah, it's Jenna. You want to talk to her?"

"Hmm…not now Seth. Where are mom's car keys by the way?" I asked him.

"With her, of course. She went out with Charlie. Why don't you want to talk to her?"

"Shit man. I guess I'll have to walk. Listen Seth, I'll be out for a while. I'm going to Cullens"

"Cullens? Right now? What's wrong?" he asked, a bit concerned and still holding the phone out.

"Nothing, nothing, just something I need to check. I'll be back soon" I said as I walked to the door. "Oh by the way, she's still on hold."

"Oh my god!" he realized and glued the phone back on his ear. "Hello? Oh hey baby, sorry. What? No don't go. No, I'm not busy. I'll miss your voice then…"

I rolled my eyes as I went out, closing the door behind me. Seth may have not imprinted on her but man, does he sound like a love sick puppy. But that doesn't matter now. I just need to talk to Edward. All I shall do is go to the house, ask for him and then clarify some things. All I have to remember the decision I made for myself; the right decision.

* * *

The Cullen mansion came to view, finally. I decided not to go wolf since I feared that Quil or Embry or most importantly, Jacob would question me coming here and get all curious which is not what I need right now. All I want to see is the mind reader leech and just…make everything back to normal. Or at least normal-ish. I gazed up at the Cullen household and sighed in relief when I saw the lights in the living room on. I tucked my hands into my jacket pockets as I strolled towards the stairs. I just hope that the other Cullens wouldn't be around, especially Jasper, Rosalie and Alice, ever since we had that conversation this afternoon. And I don't think I want to see Nessie or Bella for that matter. In general I don't want to see Bella but I think it would come to Nessie's suspicion if I just start talking to her dad which involves…well yeah.

Slowly walking up the last step, I hoped that all the Cullens wouldn't be packed in the living room. That would make things majorly awkward and it's as if I can see Jasper's eyes still laid on me. That is really creepy and annoying and kind of suffocating. At least Edward asks before invading my privacy but Jasper is like 'let me live on your emotions. They shall come to me, come to me' invading. Let's hope that it's just Edward and maybe Carlisle and I don't mind Esme. At least they are the ones that won't ask many questions since they are too kind and Edward is the 'can do no wrong' type of son to them.

I opened the door, hoping to be bombarded by leeches with questions but instead, I was met with silence and the faint smell of leech stench. Success! Its smells like everyone's not here. But what I didn't realize was the large figure, sitting on the couch, with his elbows resting on his thighs and in deep thought. I realized when I caught his significant smell and froze. Oh my god…what is he doing here? He was the last person I wanted to today and now, here he is. _Thanks a lot, people up there._ I turned to see Jacob letting out a sigh before his head perked up a bit. I think I know why. His gaze then turned to meet mine and there was silence, expect for my pulse increasing. I just hadn't seen him in a while and like…it's just soo awkward now. I thought that maybe he would say anything but he just looked at me, a bit confused. I'm also confused at the fact as to why am I still here?

"Hey Leah" he finally spoke. That made me jolt right back to reality as I felt my eyes finally start to blink normally.

"Hmm…hey Jacob, What are you doing here?" I asked, dumbfounded. What a stupid question to ask. Why do you _think_ he's here, genius?

"I came to see Nessie" he simply stated. Of course he did.

"Well, she doesn't seem to be here" Thank you, Captain Obvious. God, I'm such an idiot.

"I know. Bella just went to the cottage with her to put her to bed."

"Oh, is Edward with them?" I questioned, a bit hopeful so that I have an excuse to run away from here.

"Hmm…no, he went hunting with Carlisle and Emmett. The rest are out to buy groceries."

"Okay then" I said, slowly rocking on my heels. Okay, what am I supposed to do now? At least he didn't ask me-

"What are you doing here, Leah?" and there he says it. I stopped rocking and bite my lip, thinking of an excuse that doesn't involve me talking to the mind reader.

"Hmm…I-I ju-just came to s-see how my alpha was doing" I nervously smiled.

"That's very sweet of you…?" he chuckled, clearing not buying my alibi but at least it distracted him. I gave a small smile as I slowly walked to him, a bit curious actually as to why is he is here in a vampire's mansion, all alone.

"Hmm…Jacob, why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be saying goodnight to Nessie or…putting her to bed?" I softly asked. He paused for a second and looked down at his hands. What? Did I say something wrong?

"She's not asleep yet" he sighed. "She's actually on the phone, talking to Nahuel…privately"

"And that's a problem, because?" Nahuel, Nahuel. Oh right! The male hybrid that stopped the Italian vampires from killing us. Huh, I'm surprised he still keeps in touch.

"Hmm…It's not a problem. It's just…they seem really close, you know. And I'm not too sure about him" Jacob uttered, playing with his fingers. I thought I would be the good person or the good beta so just sit next to him in support. But not too close; just close enough to see his troubled yet beautiful face struc-_Shut. The. Hell. Up._

"Uhuh…and you think this might…affect your imprint?"

"What? No, I mean…Sure they both are kind of similar and all but…I don't know"

"…so…you're jealous?" I sighed, looking at my fingers. Of course he would be. _Hello! She's his imprint after all._

"Not really jealous. More like protective" he stated. Even though he may say 'protected', I know it's imprinter language for jealous (or just normal guy language). Of course it would.

"Well it's not that big a deal. He seems like an okay guy anyways"

"I guess…" he said, trying to reach his gaze to the outside of the window. Probably thinking or looking for her… _what a shocker_. We just sat there in silence, for what felt like forever. Would it be a good time to leave now? He isn't objecting or anything.

"So Leah, tell me why you really came here?" Jacob finally said, glancing at me. Oh man, I thought we passed that round. _Come on Leah, think, think, think._

"I...I ha-had to get out of the house…" _answer better, answer better._

"…why?" _think harder, think harder._

"Cau-cause…cause Seth won't stop gushing over the phone to his girlfriend! I mean, I get it that they're dating and like each other but he seriously needs to grow a pair" word vomit had suddenly taken over, except it vomited out the wrong thing. Before I could try to conceal my statement, Jacob let out a laugh, looking amused.

"Seth has a girlfriend? Since when?" he chuckled. Oh shit, oh no. There's no point in covering it now, brainiac since he already knows.

"…For a while now"

"Really? Wow. How come he didn't tell me?" there's the question.

"Be…Because he was scared of how you would react"

"What? Why?"

"Because…she's not his imprint" I revealed and was getting ready from the sudden change in atmosphere. Jacob just merely paused and raised his right eyebrow.

"She's not? You mean, he's dating without imprinting?"

"…yes" I'm ready. Poor Seth, I knew this would happen to him but I wasn't supposed to tell anyone so I guess I'm partly to blame. But something surprising happened. Jacob wasn't mad. Actually he was far from mad. He was actually smiling, like a freak. What the hell is going on?

"Wow, I'm really happy for him"

I just gazed at him, blankly.

"I mean, well done. I'm so glad that finally someone had the guts and go do the normal thing. Hats off to Seth"

Still blank.

"He's young and he deserves this and I think it's great that he still has a chance" he continued.

"…You're…not mad at him?" I questioned, baffled. If anyone in the pack heard he was dating without imprint, he would be in such deep trouble.

"Of course not, why would I be?" Jacob curiously, asked me.

"Because…Because you know, the fact that he could imprint any minute and the fact that imprinting is important. Well to Sam but you could also have some sort of issue with Seth at doing this too, as an alpha" I explained, what I thought would happen. He just gazed at me, with a small smile.

"Well of course Sam would overreact but me, I'm fine. I glad that Seth was man enough to go against and I'm proud of him. When he imprints, is another matter."

"He says that he'll fight it" that comment made Jacob let out a laugh again.

"Wow, that boy sure has guts and I have to hand it to him. What he did is really a lesson to us on how you can live your life normally and how imprinting isn't everything" Jacob stated. Imprinting isn't everything? He's kidding right? I mean does he look at himself or how he looks at Nessie or when he's around her?

"But imprinting is everything" I softly said it, not expecting Jacob to hear it but he did and instantly looked at me, furrowing his brow.

"What Lee?"

"Hmm…nothing"

"Come on, Leah. Tell me"

"It's nothing…"

"I'm sorry to say, I know you too well Lee. What is it? And don't make me use the alpha command" he proclaimed. Oh god, I totally lost my ability to lie. What happened? Oh well.

"…I've just been thinking about life and imprinting"

"Why would you think about imprinting?"

"Cause in the end…no matter what, everything goes back to imprinting. And I keep wondering…what will my life be like, if I imprinted. What would it be like to loved and cared for by your own soulmate"

"…it's been bugging you that much that you forced your brother to take all of your shifts and also try and avoid me?"

I gazed at him a bit in shock but he just looked at me with those soft eyes and smile.

"Don't think I haven't noticed Lee. It was pretty obvious that something was up"

I sighed and looked down at my hands, as my fingers started to fiddle. I always thought I was a closed book but how the hell does he sometimes read through me? Without any abilities or anything?

"…I thought my life was a dead end and maybe I still do think so. But then I slowly realized, after Sam and Emily's wedding, even though I loathed imprinting, I desperately wanted it" I sighed.

"Why would you want that Lee?"

"Because I want to be loved…to be wanted…to be with the one that is truly meant for me"

"Leah, you are loved and wanted. You don't need imprinting to find all of this. Imprinting isn't exactly happiness"

"Quil, Jared, Sam and Paul think so. And you…" I said as I gazed at him, trying to mask my pain and sadness. "Would you like to forget how you feel for Nessie? Are you telling me that you're not happy to be around Nessie?"

He paused, before giving in. "No, I care about her too much."

"…Because she's your imprint, your everything. And I just want to find that special someone and imprinting is my chance to have happiness"

"Leah, stop!" Jacob cried. "What are you saying? Where is this coming from? Imprinting is not the answer. Like I said before, imprinting is just a way of taking your choices away from you"

"What choices do I have?"

"Lots! Leah, you have no idea what this means. I actually envy you at the fact that you haven't imprinted. Because you have been given the gift of freedom, freedom from this fucked up method of love that they label imprinting."

"But Jacob, you can't honestly say that. I mean you and Nessie are—"

"Look, Nessie more of a sisterly figure to me now and I don't see her like that. I don't like the fact that I imprinted, at all!"

How could he say that? Does he not know what he has? Something so special?

"Jacob, you can't really say that. I mean imprinting is binding for life. Soulmate, love"

"Imprinting is not love. Just Sam and the others interpreted that way and it happened. Love is when you fall for the person that your heart chooses, not what our ancestors chose"

"But Jacob…" I hesitated. "After Sam, I can't take that chance again. I can't get hurt and thrown away again"

"What love doesn't come with some pain and disappointment, Leah? It's natural. Look, even though I went through hell with Bella and Nessie kind of cured me from it…but, I would never ever want to forget how I felt about her, because it was love. Real love. What you had with Sam was love again, so do you really want to throw real love away for something forced?"

"…No but—"

"No buts, Leah. Don't force yourself on the fact that imprinting is your only option, because it isn't, believe me…" he stated and then I felt a grip on my right hand and look down to see his hand wrapped around it. His warmth felt so nice around my hand as I gazed back at his brown eyes. "You're special you know that?"

I just sat there, gazing at him, boring into his eyes as his words were the only thing running through my head.

"Not only are you witty and strong, physically and mentally, but you're supportive, courageous and not to mention, gorgeous. You're an amazing girl…with just a side of thick sarcasm and tendency to lash out at times" he chuckled and a small genuine smile danced on my lips. "…and I think that any guy would be so lucky to have a girl like you. I'm not just saying this as your alpha but also in general, because…who would not want you Lee?"

I felt my heart start to race at his words and a small breath hitched in my throat, as my head started a spin a bit. It sounded so corny but this is how Jacob made me feel.

"…And you'll find that guy…" he said, with his thumb slowly rubbing the back of my hand, with his brown eyes intently gazing into mine. "…that will make you forget all about your pain and troubles and keep you happy. He'll be there for you, in your time of need and be by your side for everything. And you'll be happy and love him just as much as he loves you, not because you are forced too… but because you want to."

A small brief silence drifted around us as his eyes bored into mine. All I could think about now was…how much I love this guy in front of me. How he somehow has made me feel so much lighter. All my previous confused thoughts and thoughts that denied me ever liking him had suddenly flushed out of my system and were taken over by thoughts that only surrounded him. I was felt so weak yet uplifted because it was as if I had found the answer that my heart searched for such a long time now. He was the guy I wanted and the guy I needed the most.

Without any thought or any warning, I slowly leaned forward just to find myself pressing my lips against his perfect ones. It was for a brief moment as I felt the warmth in his mouth, brush against my lips, creating such a comforting sensation.

But then it stopped. I felt a cold gush which made all his warmth disappear around me. I lost the feeling for his mouth, his touch and just his closeness. I dropped my head down to stare at my lap, as my fingers were dripped on the front of sofa. I knew this would happen yet what was I thinking?

"Wh-what...wh-what…" I heard him stuttered, near me. By his tone, I'm guessing he's standing upright and in shock. Of course he would be. I just sat there, not responding and trying not to think either.

"Wh-what…was that? I-I mean…Leah, we were ta-talking ab-about this all b-but like that was…" he cleared his throat. "Leah…th-that wasn't right. I h-have an imprint…I have Nessie"

…_I have an imprint…I have Nessie…_

That seemed to hit me like I was standing through a boulder shower. I knew it, even though in the pit of my stomach I wished it wasn't true, it was. No matter what you do, no matter what you think, no matter how hard you try, or just when you think everything is going to change for the best…nothing changes. My blood started to boil a bit as shots of pain surged through my body. I gripped onto the edge tighter as I let out a low gasp.

"Yo-you see, Jacob…" I softly choked, gazing at the floor. I heard him turn his attention to me as I started to choke again. "No matter what happens...it goes back to the imprint, doesn't it?"

"Wh-what?" he managed to say. Frustration seemed to blend in with my pain as my head shot up, along with body as I turned fiercely to him.

"You have no idea do you? How it feels? You just keep talking and talking but in the end, you're just like the rest of them. Devoted to the imprint"

He just gazed at me, not moving or saying a word while I throw my frustration and pain at him.

"You don't know how much it hurts, Jake! How much it hurts not to feel loved, not to be wanted! Imprinting has been taking over everything and now….NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I CAN LOVE ANYMORE!"

I saw the size of Jacob's eyes grow when I mentioned 'love'. Realization of my action started to slowly crawl up his face along with a twinge of pain.

"God, I thought after Sam, it would be different. But no, it isn't! It's the exact same, except worse!" I choked as a small tear rolled down my cheek. "And I don't know how I'll get through this one."

"Leah, I—" he softly spoke, taking a step closer to me but I moved away.

"No don't! Don't think you can just use those words again Jake, cause in the end you just proved yourself wrong…and I'm the one that's hurt"

Unable to hold on anymore tears, I ran past him, roughly brushing my tears away as pain started to set in.

"LEAH WAIT!" was the last thing I heard Jake say before I darted out of the house and took off into the forest. I can't believe I've been such an idiot and just let myself become like this. I never asked for this to happen but somehow I can't stop blaming myself for this. I fell for Sam and that ended badly and hurt. But now, I'm falling for Jacob Black and it will end up worse and I don't want to feel that pain…I don't want this to happen, I won't let this happen.

Like I said before, no matter what you do, no matter what you think, no matter how hard you try, or just when you think everything is going to change for the best…nothing changes.

* * *

**Hello? Is anyone there?**

**Because I haven't been getting any reviews lately. Don't stop! Or is it because you already have given up on me? D: I'm sorry! I'm shall work hard and prove myself to you! I hope this chapter helped a bit.**

**IMP: (just clarifying)**** Leah is 22, turning 23. Jacob just turned 21. Seth is 19. Sam is 1-2 years older than Leah (25, most probably). Paul is Sam's age. Jared is a year younger than Sam/Paul (24). Embry and Quil are Jacob's age. Brady and Collin (even though they aren't there much) are a year younger than Seth (18). Kim is Jared's age. Emily is a year older than Leah (24). Rachel and Rebecca are Leah's age (23). Claire is 5. Nessie looks like preteen (11-15) but kind of has a mindset of a 16-17 year old. Set 2-3 years after Breaking dawn.**

**(Maybe you should read the story again because I made some adjustments to some chapters. Yes, I am very disorganized. I was clueless and uncertain in the beginning.)**

**Talk about Tension right? Well, I hope the wait paid off. Feelings unstable, answers need to be answered, the truth needs be expressed, and how will this happen? Just keep reading.**

**Review: Love me or Hate me xD **


	15. A Glimpse of Light

**Jacob Black**

_How_. That was the only word that circled the inside and outside of my head for two days now.

How…I mean…how? How could this happen? How did this happen? How could this be possible? How did she ever…? How did? How could? How is? But the most common how that circled my head was…

_How could I have let this happen?_

I mean, I handled it bad. Bad doesn't even do justice to how badly I reacted (…bad still doesn't do it justice). I mean, of course it's natural for me to react that drastic but…I should have known better. Because…it's Leah.

Leah, whoa. I was soo not expecting that. I mean how is that possible? Didn't she always see me as her oaf of an alpha or something?

"_You have no idea do you? How it feels? You just keep talking and talking but in the end, you're just like the rest of them. Devoted to the imprint"_

Uncomfortably, I squirmed on the bed as I turned myself to stare at the ceiling, still able to sense the amount of pain and frustration that was wrapped around those words. I never wanted to come off like that and I do understand your pain and everything, Leah. I just…

"_God, I thought after Sam, it would be different. But no, it isn't! It's the exact same, except worse!"_

That was the last thing I wanted to do, Leah. I didn't want to cause you any pain, what so ever and I want you to know that. I didn't expect this to happen….I want you to know that I'm not like Sam. I didn't want to hurt you like him.

"_No don't! Don't think you can just use those words again Jake, cause in the end you just proved yourself wrong…and I'm the one that's hurt"_

I can't believe I did that. I mean, I did prove myself wrong which is not what I wanted to do. I do believe that imprinting is crap and I didn't want anything to do with it but…I didn't think this would happen to you, Leah. I didn't want to prove myself wrong because I knew in fact that I was right but…it changed…

"…_NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I CAN LOVE ANYMORE!"_

…You don't know who to love anymore? You mean that you…have…for me? I really didn't know and…you have no idea how much this affects me. I don't even know if I…I sighed, biting my lip from having a small breakdown. But didn't you love…Sam? I mean I thought that all this talk was for Sam…but in fact, it was…for me? Leah, I don't know what to do or say.

I really didn't know what to say or do at that moment. These thoughts were running in my head in that moment but I was unable to fully grasp it. In the end, did I just hurt Leah…the way Sam did? No, I couldn't have.

….Did I?

I mean, I was unaware of Leah's feelings for me but in the end, I did pick the imprint over her…like Sam.

Did I?

I love Nessie a lot and want to protect her but I'm not fully sure if I'm in love with her or if I'm embracing the imprint. As for Leah…Leah was always Leah. She was the girl I would go to when I was bored, or needed food. Or when I needed someone to ground me and maintain my alpha position. Someone who could understand me and at the same time, joke around and entertain me. Someone who has come close to me and who I can be myself with. The girl who I care about soo much and never ever want to let down.

But I did…didn't I?

I threw my hands over my face, letting out a frustrated sigh. I didn't handle it well. But what could you have expected from me? I mean, that was huge for anyone actually. I mean Leah really liking someone is huge news.

Okay, now I'm just being mean. Of course, Leah cares so much about everyone but… I mean…actually have romantic feelings after so long, for someone…someone like me?

But the question was…do I see Leah that way? I mean, more than my beta, friend or harpy? I don't know…I mean I've never really pictured Leah a girl much (okay, that was mean again). I mean sure, I thought she was attractive at one point but…did I? I don't think so. I always knew Leah but I don't think I ever like liked Leah. Sure she is sexy and cute in her own way to some but to me…in general sure but…I don't know. I mean I guess when I was young, I was kind of hung up on Bella that I didn't notice Leah that much. Damn…

Just then, my door swung open and I lifted my chin to my chest to see my darling sister, Rachel in her scrappy shirt and cut off jeans, holding a huge box with junk in it. _Hmm, looks like the pack trend is setting in on the imprints too. _Oh great, this is not what I need right now but when did Rachel ever listen to me? Never.

"Hey Jacob, mind helping me?" she said, balancing the box in her arms.

"Let me think…no" I simply replied, staring at the ceiling again.

"Why am I not surprised?" Rachel huffed and then dumped the box on my bed, hard enough to make my whole bed shake.

"What?" I groaned, as I propped on my elbows and glared at her. "What do you want? Why are you invading my personal space?"

"Okay one; you're the one to talk. And two; I need you to sort out these things" she rolled her eyes, digging her hands in the box.

"I repeat, no! Now leave!"

"Yeesh, what crawled up your ass and died?"

I let out a sigh and slowly pulled myself up to a sitting position. Okay, I know it's natural for a guy to lash out at his sister but I think I'm really going over now.

"Nothing Rach, I'm fine…" I said, closing my eyes and then slowly opened them to see Rachel gazing at me, a bit curiously.

"Oh god, now something is definitely wrong. I mean you lash out at me and now you're apologizing? Are you feeling alright, Jake? I mean, you have been kind of puzzled for two days now" she asked as a concerned sister. It was interesting since it's been a while since I've seen her actually concerned.

"It's nothing"

"Are you sick?"

"No"

"Are you troubled?"

"Kind of"

"Is it the Cullens?"

"No"

"Is it Nessie?"

"Not really"

"Is it the pack?"

I nodded.

"Is it Paul?"

"Not this time"

"Is it Sam?"

I shook my head and somehow Rachel got the message since she sighed while crossing her arms across her chest.

"Is it Leah?"

There was this kind of dramatic pause from me and I wanted to just brush past this but I think I was in too deep that Rachel wouldn't brush past it. I sighed and gave one quick nod, bringing my hands to my knees.

"Uh oh, what did she do now?" Rachel rolled her eyes. She knew that normally when something happens between me and Leah, it's normally on something stupid. And no matter what, Rachel always supports Leah. _Way to be supportive, sis_. But back to my point, this wasn't just a regular fight that me and Leah have (I'm not even sure if this is classified as a fight). This was just so much more…how do I even finish this sentence?

"She didn't do anything…It's just…I'm not sure but it's all me, this time" I softly replied, looking down at my knees. I could so tell that Rachel wanted to say more but then she had one of her sisterly moments when she would just let it go. Instead, she decided to go back to the box that was still planted on the bed. What is even in that box that she has to take care of it right now?

"Anyways, back to this. Rebecca and I were planning to do some 'spring' cleaning together but since she left early, I decided to do some early 'spring' cleaning myself" she announced, placing her palms on the side of the box.

"Spring cleaning? Are you serious, Rachel?" I sneered. Rachel and cleaning have never been in the same sentence since….well, as far as I can remember, never.

"Well, I've been so bored lately. I mean, with Dad whining that I would be torturing him if I told him to sort some stuff out; with you being all alpha and weird lately; and with Paul helping Sam train some new pups in town."

"Paul? Train pups? What's gotten into Sam's head?" I huffed, imagining Paul teaching those young boys about orgies or other shit like that rather than fighting tactics. I mean of course a basic boy needs to know that stuff but I don't think Sam would want images of women naked in various ways in his head while he's with…I don't think I should finish that sentence.

"Very funny, Jake. Anyway, so I'm doing it by myself"

"Good for you…but back to my previous point, you're here in my room, because…?"

"This is all your stuff…"she said, pushing the box towards my knees. "Well, whatever I found anyways. And I was just wondering if you could sort it out the stuff that you want to keep and stuff that you don't."

"You can throw it all…" I dropped my knees down to a cross legged position, pushing the box back to Rachel. "I bet it's all junk, anyways."

"Are you sure? I mean, there must be something you might want in this" Rachel stated, starting to rummage through the box. I rolled my eyes at how persistent Rachel and actually, Rebecca too, can be.

"Doubt it" I replied, leaning back on my arms as I lazily watched Rachel look through the junk. Somehow, during their time together, Rachel and Rebecca were able to rekindle their sisterhood. Thus meaning, going back to gossiping (not that Rachel is much of a gossiper), shopping (again, not totally Rachel's thing), hanging out but basically just spending quality time together. I guess they found something new to add to their sisterhood 'series' which is collecting 'heirlooms', if you will. Which means 'oh shit' for me and dad.

"Let's see…" she said, fishing out a couple of stuff between her fingers and started viewing them. "Here's some stuff like…your old nursery rhythms book, your rattle, your pacifier…"

"Junk, junk and ew junk" I chanted as I threw that stuff back into the box as she handed them to me. Then she unrolled a cloth which now looks like a baby's one piece night suit.

"Oh my god, this was your favorite night suit. You would cry if Mom dressed you in anything else" Rachel stated, showing me the suit which happened to have the Ninja turtles printed in front of it.

"Yeah, not to mention how many times I spat up on that"

"Ew, but still so cute. Aww, you always liked the purple Ninja turtle"

"No, I liked red one"

"I thought you liked the red power ranger"

"Yeah I did—look, I like the color red okay? Is there something wrong with that?" I huffed throwing the suit back in the box. Yes, I was a nerd when I was young…well, at least to my family.

"Fine fine" Rachel snorted and went on going through the box.

"Rachel, why are you showing me all of this? Why are you torturing me like this? I mean, why would I want any of this?"

"Man, you sound like dad and like I said, I just want to sort out some old memories"

"But why me?"

"Cause it's your stuff. But you're right; I shouldn't have come to you first. I mean, it would have been better if Paul helped me and saw all of this" She cocked her eyebrow at me, with that smirk that all we Blacks had. She's good…too good.

"….did I tell you that I love you?" I nervously chuckled.

"I know" she smiled. She's good…too good; after all she is my sister. I decided to give up and just help her out with this instead of making this hard for the both of us. I came across a lot of real junk in the box. I mean, why the hell did we even save some of this stuff? My first wallet which is completely worn out; an old bubble gum card collection; a deflated basketball; crumbled posters of Jessica Alba (can you blame me?); and a large torn jersey (I already have enough clothing scraps).

"What the hell is this?" I asked, holding up a mixture of macaroni, glue, glitter, paint, string and paper. "Did I try to make a macaroni concoction in the art room or something?"

"Oh no, that was the macaroni necklaces you made for me and Rebecca when you were 6. They were hideous as hell but Mom made us wear it, for your sake" Rachel explained as she sorted through the CDs in the box.

"Don't tell me you guys actually wore it?"

"Oh yeah we did and because of the excessive glue that you put on the macaroni, Rebecca's hair got stuck onto it"

"Oh right, I remember that. She chased me around half of La Push because Mom had to cut her hair off, in order to free her from the necklace"

"I know, and I still remember her exact words when she replays that story" Rachel got into Rebecca's character. There wasn't much of a physical change duh, but within, Rachel and Rebecca are quite different. Rachel started batting her hand to her face, acting like she was welling up. "And Mom had to cut a chump of my hair of…and IT WAS UNEVEN FOR WEEKS!"

Rachel and I bursted out laughing, about how melo-dramatic Rebecca would get at the most minor situations. Then we went back to sorting stuff out; I was sorting out through my old books while Rachel was emptying out my old hamper. It was nice to do this actually, I mean Rachel and I rarely spent much time together because she would always be with Paul or working while I would always be out protecting our land and all.

"Ew, what the hell is this—" Rachel asked, before squealing and throwing a small tube which looked rather disgusting, across the room. "Ew! Ew! Jacob, was that a condom?"

"What? No. I think that was a plastic tube that Quil made for Health class…for 'extra credit'" I chuckled, remember how horny Quil was, or still is.

"Ew, why is it sticky?" Rachel started playing with her fingers.

"He filled it with custard" I said, removing other junk from the box.

"Why would he fill it with cus-oh… Remind me, to never ever look in Quil's hamper!"

"Deal" I chuckled, getting a hold of something heavy at almost the bottom of the box. I was able to slowly pull it out with the tips of my fingers and placed the heavy object on my lap. I blew off the coat of dust that it had. From the looks of it, it looked like a seashell frame…handmade from the looks of it; badly handmade, so no doubt I made it. I rubbed the tips of my fingers on the glass, removing the dust covering the picture placed in it.

_No_…I cleared it a bit more. _It can't be_…it was. In that crappy seashell frame, held a picture of a 6 year old me, being snuggled to death by my mom. I thought I had lost this long before, when I lost mom, herself. I stroked the picture. She was so beautiful; she was the most beautiful mom a child could ask for. She didn't have a frown to her name; she was always smiles. She never looked old; actually she was soo young compared to other moms. With her short shiny black hair; her chocolate brown eyes; her perfect teeth shaped for the perfect smile; her perfect copper skin for her round shaped face; but the best was her motherly warmth, that made you feel safe. I missed her so much. She was not only my mom but she was like my best friend; my teacher; my guardian angel. Rachel noticed my silence and peered over. She got a glimpse of what I was gazing at and a genuine smile appeared on her face.

"That's a really nice picture you know?"

"I know"

"Mom was always so beautiful"

"I know"

"You know people said you were so much like mom. The most common feature that you only inherited from mom, was her smile. You have the exact smile"

"You'd think I'd say 'I know' but the truth is that no one can have mom's smile. It was special" I sighed, setting the photo down to the side, gazing at my mom, who was gazing back at me.

"You know, mom would be proud of us right now" Rachel stated, removing the last contents of the box. Sure she would be of Rachel and Rebecca. Me? Not so much. I sunk my hand again into the box and felt another hard square object and pulled it out, placing it on my lap. Another book…I opened the first page and saw Rebecca's writing in gold.

_Hey Jakie,_

_Well, you're a big boy now so it's time to man up. Here you go. It's not what you normally get but it's worth a try. In order to become a man, you need to face your feelings and emotions so this is just a start. Hope you like it._

_From Rebecca + Rachel_

"Oh my god, you guys got me a diary for my birthday? Were you kidding me?" Jacob rolled his eyes, bouncing the book in his palm.

"Oh right, that was for your 11th birthday. I know right? I told Rebecca it was a long shot but she bought it anyways. Thought it would help you 'achieve emotional levels of man'" Rachel chuckled, tossing some old drawings in the trashcan. Typical Rebecca, always trying to stand out. She would never try and play safe and get me an action figure; no, she would go and buy me the lamest gift ever, hoping to find a different side to me. I let out a small chuckle and just when I was about to toss it away, I noticed small ink stains on the edges of the pages. I realized that the book was actually quite heavy compared to an empty book; I started to flip the pages and noticed that…it actually had writing in it (untidy writing but they was writing).

"Woah, I actually…wrote something in this" I softly exclaimed, scanning through the pages and pages.

"What? Are you kidding?" Rachel chuckled, dunking the other stuff in the box. "I thought it was ridiculous for Becca to buy that. Damn, that means that I owe her 5 bucks."

What could I have possibly written in this? I mean, I never looked at myself as being a diary type of person but there is writing…starting from…about a year after I got this diary. What happened that year? Did I finally try to 'channel my emotions to become a man'?

Nah.

"Well, the rest is all junk…" Rachel said, slicing through the silence as she held the box back in her hands. "Thanks Jacob for everything and I'm guessing you were right for everything being junk. I'm guessing you want everything to be tossed away, then."

"Hmm…yeah" I said, gazing around at the stuff we'd discovered. "But…I'd like to keep the frame and the diary... just for old times' sake"

"Sure Jake…" Rachel smiled. "I guess I better go sort out the albums. They are more fun. I won't disturb you again. See you"

"Sure sure" and she closed my room door. For some odd reason, I felt compelled to read the diary. I mean, who wouldn't be? And it wasn't like I had anything else better to do. Well, I still did have this urge to talk to Leah but…how will I? And for what?

I slid back so that my back slammed against the backboard of the bed. I placed the frame on the side table as I relaxed against the backboard, picking up the diary. I traced the brown skin of the diary with my fingers as I viewed the small Quileute drawings on the cover. Then I opened the cover and slowly started to separate the old and stuck together pages. Man, was I messy. Or I really didn't know how to use a pen. Apparently Rebecca had gotten me a fountain pen to write, especially for this diary. Looks like that was just a waste.

Finally, I was able to free the first few pages from the ink. I gazed at the date and it was about a year after the twins had gotten this diary for me. Around that time, I was 12. _This ought to be interesting._ I bet I just wrote about some game I got or some prank that happened in school. But it was on July, so school would have been out. Something in the summer then. What happened that summer? Did something happen? Well, I better find out.

_Dear Diary,_

Wow, I can't believe I actually said 'Dear Diary'. I was such a chick.

_Oh my god. You would not believe what happened today. I don't think I even know what happened._

Typical.

_But it was unlike anything but I know that it was good. Not good, great. It was just so…I don't know what to say but I came back home with a huge smile on my face that Rachel thought that was secretly taking Botox. I didn't even feel like commenting on that, even though I didn't know what Botox meant, but I was just so…I felt like I was floating._

Wow, drama queen much? Now I am really curious as to what happened then. I mean what could have possibly happened to a 12 year old that would make him feel so happy? Or like he's floating?

* * *

_The sun was shining brightly and there was no trace of clouds in the sky. In other words, today was a perfect day to be out. These are one of those rare days where it wouldn't end gloomy or cloudy or just rain; these are one of those rare occasions and no one wanted to waste it. For all the La Push kids, sunny day means of course, the beach. I went to beach with Embry and Quil after school and our chores. While most people went to beach in the early morning, we preferred going in the late afternoon, mainly because less crowd and the glare of the sun won't hit you as hard. _

"_Come on Embry! This is the third time you missed it!" Quil squealed, pulling his oversized shirt over his medium frame. _

"_Well I'm sorry that you suck at throwing it right!" Embry whined, appearing from the rocks with his shorts half wet and a small frown on his face. He tossed the Frisbee towards me before quarrelling with Quil. We had just finished swimming and checking out some girls before we decided to throw the Frisbee around. Typical Quil and Embry, always having their mini rows. Sometimes, you can never get anything done with them. _

"_Oh god guys, stop it already. Both of you suck so deal with it" I groaned, spinning the Frisbee in my hand. Embry and Quil stopped to glare at me. A small smirk danced on my lips. I loved challenging them because I knew, and they knew that was better than them._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Quil scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest and walking towards me with Embry. _

"_I mean what I said. And I'm right, right?" I sneered. Quil had a hard look on his face while Embry just had a neutral expression. Just then a bunch of girls from our school, who we saw before, passed by in shorts and bikini tops. In one second, Quil's scowl disappeared and replaced by his cockiness._

"_Hey ladies, like what you see?" Quil winked at them, showing off his not so muscled arms. The girls of course laughed at Quil's stupidity. I simply rolled my eyes while Embry shyly bit his lip._

"_Hey Jacob" I heard one of the girls shyly call out and I turned to see Lisa. She was a sweet girl who was in my mathematics and English class._

"_Oh hey Lisa, what's up?"_

"_Nothing…Great Day know?"_

"_Yeah, it is"_

"… _You look great"_

"_Thanks…?" I unsurely answered, reviewing my articles of clothing which was just boy shorts and a loose sleeveless._

"_See you around" she giggled and then ran off with her other friends, giggling. I shrugged and then turned to Embry and Quil, who were gazing at the girls running off._

"_You're unbelievable you know that?" I chuckled at Quil._

"_They want me. They're just scared" Quil confidently answered._

"_Lisa seems to really like you" Embry finally spoke after passing his girl shy moment._

"_Really? I never noticed" I shrugged._

"_How can you not notice? I mean, besides from me of course, you are sort of a chick magnet. You could get any girl you want in our grade" Quil exclaimed and Embry just softly nodded along._

"_I don't think so" _

"_Dude, you're blind"_

"_I don't know, I just don't notice these girls. I mean, there is nothing special that I see in them. I mean, they are all alike."_

"_Dude, they're not from the reservation. Meaning they are exotic"_

"_Not really, it doesn't appeal to me much. They just seem the same"_

"_So?"_

"_So, that's why I don't care so much. I mean sure Lisa is sweet and smart and pretty but that's it; Nothing great. I don't feel anything with her."_

_While I had got Embry convinced, Quil just stared at me like I was from out of space._

"_Dude, they are girls! They want you! Don't deny them of that!" he yelped. I rolled my eyes and Embry just let out a small chuckle. They both may fight and be idiots at times but they were my closest friends and I loved hanging out with them._

"_Whatever, so are you up for it or not?" I proclaimed._

"_Up for what?" Embry asked._

"_How about we make a deal? You might like this Quil" I saw Quil slowly show interest. "You two losers against the all supreme me. Whoever wins, the other has to do them a favor. It could be anything. 2 out of 3?"_

"_Us two against you?" Embry asked._

"_I know, it hardly seems fair for you guys" I smirked._

"_Oh, you're trying mess with us?" Quil challenged._

"_Not trying" _

"_Okay then. How about if we win, you will be obligated to get us the phone numbers of Lisa and her gang…"_

"…_and 2 months worth of food" Embry added. _

"_Deal and if I win, you both have to be my slaves for…hmmm, how about 5 years?" I asked._

"_No way! 3 days" Quil said._

"_2 years?"_

"_A week"_

"_9 months?"_

"_2 months"_

"_Deal" and we both shook on it. And then we got ready. It went on for about half an hour. I of course was winning against them and my ego started to grow a lot by the time we were on our last set. _

"_Aww, tired already guys? How about we just end it here and I'll give you treats for good behavior?" I chuckled._

"_No way…" Quil growled and then whispered something to Embry. Embry had a small smile of his face while Quil had a full on grin, as he played with the Frisbee._

"_Let's toughen things up…" Quil announced before launching the Frisbee. "Go long!"_

"_Hey!" I yelled, watching it sore over me. The Frisbee did fly, way too far for my own good. I chased it, almost towards the rim where the water touched the shore. Just when I was about to catch it, I collided with something or someone and we both fell to the ground with a thump. I lifted my face from the sand, wiping the sand bits on my cheeks and I could hear Quil's distant laughter. That idiot, I am so going to kill hi—I was interrupted by a moan. Oh shit! I realized that I wasn't alone before jumping to my feet. I dusted off the sand off my shorts and brushed my hair back._

"_I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" was all I said before being totally caught up in the sight of…her._

_Wow. I mean…wow. She was seated on the sand, with his knees bent up and palms, holding her up. Her white sundress was neatly placed around her long figure. There were about four black and white bangles and a bracelet resting on her slender wrists. Her long black shiny hair was brushing against her beautiful skin, with her cheeks naturally flushed. Covered behind her hair strands were flawless features such as lips which were so perfect, not too thick yet not too thin. Her beautiful brown eyes glistened and her long black eyelashes batted against the breeze as she gazed right at me. I swear, I stopped breathing for a moment. I saw the sides of her lip slowly pull up to a smile as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She was…beautiful._

"_Hmm…are you going to help me up?" she chuckled, was then I realized that she was still on the floor and I was staring at her. I gave my head a slight shake as I slowly dropped back to reality._

"_Oh! I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean to" I started apologizing, offering my hand which I was pretty sure was sweating. _

"_Its okay" she giggled, taking my hand and pulling herself up. "That was quiet a throw."_

"_I'm sorry. It was just that my friends and I…" I said, wiping my sweaty hands on my shorts sides._

"_I get it. Friends are like that" she replied, dusting the sand off her dress. Wow, she was even more beautiful standing up. She was tall…tall in general and unfortunately taller than me, and a bit older from the looks of it, but…where has she been all my life?_

"_Hey…" she finally spoke and I realized that she was observing me in a way. "You look…familiar. Do I know you?"_

"_Hmm…I dou-doubt it. My name is Ja-Jacob, Jacob Black" I nervously answered, straightening myself out._

"_Jacob Black…" I liked how she said my name. "Black…as in Billy Black?"_

_I nodded._

"_Wait a minute! You're Rachel and Rebecca's brother, aren't you?" she exclaimed. My eyes widened as she had a huge grin on her face. How did she know my sisters and…wait, she knows me? Am I supposed to know her? This is cool and shit at the same time. She knows me but I don't fully remember her!_

"_Y-Yeah…How did you know?"_

"_Oh my god! It's been forever since I've seen them, or Billy… or you for that matter!"_

"_Hmm…" I was able to say._

"_Your dad and my dad were tight. They still are"_

"_Oh" I beamed. They are tight, which means that we will be seeing more of each other._

"_Wow, I knew I'd miss this place" she sighed, gazing towards the sea with the rays nicely dancing over her complexion._

"_I'm sorry…."_

"_What are you apologizing for now?" she giggled. God, it was soo cute._

"_I vaguely remember. You're from around here?"_

"_Yeah, I am. But then my family and I moved away for two years but we had to come back home sometime. I'm not surprised you don't fully remember. It was long time ago but you soon will, since we'll be seeing each other a lot" she explained._

"_We will?" I asked, not helping covering the excitement in my voice._

"_Of course"_

"_Jake!" I heard Embry call from the distance and looked over, to see him jogging towards us. I was trying so hard not to yell at him to go away._

"_Well, you better get back to your game. Bye Jacob" she said and started walking down the beach. I wanted so much to tell her to stop and stay with me, for some odd reason. I wanted so much to just hold her or just look at her. I just wanted to hear her say my name again. I so wanted to hear her name over and over-that's when I realized…I don't even remember her name!_

"_Hey wait!" I yelled. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face me. Again, I felt myself slowly stop breathing. _

"_What is it?" she asked. I chuckled, ruffling my hair._

"_You seem to know my name…but…I didn't seem to catch yours" I stated with small smile dancing on my face. I heard her chuckle which made my heart leap for a second._

"_It's Leah" and she walked off, leaving me breathless._

_Leah…Leah…Leah…_

* * *

Leah?

What? Am I reading this right? That girl, the one that I wanted to be with me, the one that I wanted to hold, the one I wanted to touch, the one that made me fly was…was…LEAH?

How is that possible?

_Oh god, diary, is this how it feels to like someone? To have a crush on someone? To love someone? If it is, then please don't let it stop. I want to see her again, and over and over again. I'm soo gonna be there, wherever and whenever she is. The most beautiful girl in the world, Leah. Leah. God, I love saying her name… Leah. _

_Jacob_

Woah, looks like I had it hard for her then…but how come? I mean, I always thought it was Bella…Bella, my first crush; Bella, my first kiss; Bella, my first love. But after all this time I find out that it was Leah that I liked first? How can I not remember that? I mean sure, I thought Leah was gorgeous and still is, a bit but…was I so blinded with love for Bella that Leah just merely faded away from my memories? I mean, if I hadn't found this diary, I would have never have known my past feelings for… Leah.

Oh god, I have to see her. The urge is growing and growing and I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped off of the bed and quickly grabbed a tan shirt, slipping it and my sneakers on. I didn't know why but all I had to was see her. I didn't even know what I was going to say to her but…there has to be something since there is this sudden pull towards her. Like I need to tell her something or just see her. It's been too long and it's time I just face her. With that, I ran out the house and into the Rabbit, getting ready to head towards Clearwaters'.

* * *

Okay, I am standing in front of her door and well, that's about it. I think I need to get into the house so I can see her. _No shit, brainiac_. Okay, what should I do? I mean should I knock? Or just go in? Or announce my arrival? I can't believe I'm contemplating how I'm going to get into the house, instead of thinking what I would even tell her. When did I ever get so nervous to speak to Leah? I mean it's Leah. You've known her for years and you still do. It's not like she'll slice you to pieces…_well, you don't know that. _Okay, I think I'll play it safe and just knock the door. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

And that's what I did. I was half expecting to see a pissed off Leah at the door or a sleepy Seth but again my judgment was proved wrong. Instead the door opened to a half naked and a bit sweaty Embry Call, who had a 'Pralines 'n' Cream' ice cream carton in his hand and a spoon hanging out his mouth. His eyes widened (possibly mirroring mine) as he slowly slid the spoon out of his mouth and wiped the side of his lip.

"Oh hey Jake, what's up?" he nervously asked.

"Embry, what the hell are you—" Okay, I didn't have time for this. "Never mind, where is Leah?"

"She's not here, man" he answered, dipping the spoon into the carton. "What are you doing here?"

_Trying to think of the last time I came over and didn't see you._ "I came to see her, Embry and I could ask you the same question" I said, crossing my arms against my chest, viewing his state. Seems that Embry likes spending time with Leah and she doesn't seem to mind. Interesting.

"I came to see Leah too. And since she's healed, I thought the rule no longer applied" oh, so now he's using that against me. It's not like I care that he's in Leah's house… half naked and perspiring…

…Okay, that doesn't seem right.

"Well…" _Just give up, man. Remember why you're here._ "…do you have any idea where she is?"

"Yeah, she would probably be at the beach. She said she wanted some air and to think some stuff over" Embry explained, licking the melting ice cream from the bottom of the spoon. The cliffs! Of course, she would always be there. _Think, Jacob, Think!_

"Oh okay, thanks Embry" I said abruptly, trying not to throw some suspicious looks at him. I turned around to head for the beach.

"Jacob, wait a minute…" Embry called out, making me turn back to face him. What did he want now? I really need to find Leah.

"…Is something up with Leah?" Embry sighed, placing the carton, with the spoon in it on the table by the door. Wouldn't he know? I mean, she does tell him some stuff she thinks…some stuff that she doesn't tell me, at times.

"Why would you say that?" I asked, nonchalant. I didn't want the whole pack to worry about this. I want to keep it within its limits.

"Cause she's been acting a bit odd lately. And when I mean odd, I mean like…quiet and very collected in a way" Embry explained, biting his lip as he rubbed a small sweat drop which was rolling down his forehead. I crunched my eyebrows a bit before getting back to the conversation.

"You don't say?"

"Yeah, it's like as if she's thinking too hard but at the same time, trying not to think. It's weird and I was just…I was worried. Did something happen at Cullens or something?"

"How do you know it has to do with Cullens?" I curiously asked. No one knew that Leah went to Cullens' house that day then how did he?

"Seth told me she went to Cullens and came home very devastated. She didn't get out of her room that whole day. The next day she came out but she seemed…a bit blank. By last night though, she started to talk and seem more comfortable."

"When did you come over?" I raised my eyebrow at him, curious.

"Yesterday morning, cause Sue wanted help to move her last boxes to Charlie's and Seth forced me into it" he rolled his eyes. "But I ended up staying with Leah, the whole time."

"Why?" I know it sounded very abrupt and uncalled for since Embry raised his eyebrows at me, confused.

"Cause she asked me to stay and plus, I didn't want to leave her. So I stayed the night. I didn't think it was a problem" he stated. No, it wasn't a problem but it just annoyed me a bit that it was him who was there for her. I mean…_god, what am I even talking about?_

"…Is she okay now?"

"She seemed fine in the morning. She made us breakfast before leaving to head for a walk"

"Okay. Well, I have to go find her. See you Embry" I said, turning on my heel.

"Make sure she's okay. I'm a bit worried" I knew Embry was just looking out for Leah's well being. We all were.

"Will do" was all I said before running down, towards the cliffs to face Leah, all by myself. I still had no clue what I would say to her when I see her but I guess, I'll just have to wait and see, right?

* * *

The walk to the cliffs was a quiet one. The atmosphere around the cliffs was quiet but no way in hell, was it quiet in my head. I mean, you'd think that there is something called 'peace at mind' but no, there isn't. Well, not in mine at least. Replays of that night, my diary discovery, my weird kind of lash out at Embry, and just Leah in general, was playing in my head. This is one of those situations that I wish I wasn't myself. I mean god, do I have to be such a fucking screw up?

Okay this is what I'm going to do. I am just going to sort this out with Leah. I mean it's Leah. It would be for the best if we both just talked it out. These…feelings and other stuff. Wow, talk about feelings isn't exactly my best field but…worth a shot right?

Just then, a familiar blew across my face. A distinct scent that I was searching for; a scent that I could recognize from anywhere because it separated itself from the other common scents. I turned towards the host of the scent and there…she was. For moment, I closed my eyes before again gazing at…her, by the cliff. She was there alright but…it felt like it wasn't looking at Leah but I was looking at a girl. An actual beautiful girl.

She was standing by the cliff, barefoot, gazing towards the horizon with her arms wrapped around her body. She was wearing…not shorts and a tank top…but a dress. A white dress, to be precise. A white sundress that looked similar to the one she wore the day that I felt…

It was as if I was seeing Leah for the first time in months. No, make that years. Or just… a really, really long time. Or maybe I was just…seeing her in a different light. Because she didn't just look like my smart mouth harpy of a beta but she actually looked like a girl with feelings, a girl who was hurt, a girl supporting her family, a girl in all. I felt like I was the same 12 year old boy gazing at the girl who made me feeling different within, for some odd reason.

Subconsciously, I hadn't noticed that my feet had led me to this girl and now I was standing behind her, gazing at her while her attention was at the sea. The breeze that brushed through her hair brought its smell to my nostrils, making me inhaling the delicious scent of apricot, lavender and evergreen. It took a moment of taking everything in, before actually considering saying something to her. But of course, I didn't know what to say. But just seeing her like this, made my heart ache a bit on how much I must have upset her. So I guess, 'sorry' would be the right way to go. I opened my mouth to say that word but instead a voice came out…which wasn't my own.

"I'm sorry" she sighed. I shut my mouth, creasing my forehead. What? She's apologizing? To who? I turned around to make sure who she was talking to. She sighed again and I brought my attention back to her.

"I'm sorry, Jake" My eyes widened. She seemed to have known my presence and was apologizing to me. Okay, that makes sense. Just one thing that's bugging me; why is she apologizing? Somehow sensing my confusion, she finally teared her gaze from the horizon and turned to face me. I swear my breath hitched for second as her brown eyes met mine. She looked….clean. I mean, I know I see her almost every day but suddenly there was something standing out about her. Something different in a good way but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I was stupid…I over reacted. I know I shouldn't have but I guess my emotions got the best of me" she went on, with me still in my confused state. What is she saying?

"W-what ar-are you talking about, Lee?" I questioned, finally being able to choke out some words and snap out of my small trance. She sighed again and rubbed her left arm.

"I'm talking about…that night. I didn't mean to lash out at you like that. I was upset and just…confused. I promise I won't do it again"

"Lee, still confused here" I said. She let out a weak chuckle and gazed towards the side. The sun rays seemed to bring out her cooper skin color a lot more, making her look…quite radiant.

"I guess, I have to clarify some stuff right?" I just merely nodded. "Well, those things I said, it was all just out of frustration and a bit of pain. I was just so caught up in finding happiness in imprinting that I totally forgot the main reason why I hated it. I made myself realize again that imprinting was all I had and all I wanted…when it wasn't. I was just so upset with imprinting that it practically ruined everything in my life. Well, more love life…with Sam, with-" she paused and looked down, biting her lip. I gazed at her helplessly, knowing what the end of the sentence was. I took a step closer to her, looking upon her.

"…With me?"

"…It's nothing"

"No Leah, it is. Please tell me what it is. We can figure it out" I stated. She looked at and gazed at me with those eyes again. They looked helpless for a moment before she looked away.

"I did already" she softly replied. I waited for her answer. Waiting, for its answer, desperately for some reason.

"I realized that…maybe I was being a little too over dramatic when I said some of those things. Like my…feelings. I realized that it's not a big deal" she explained. How could it not be a big deal? But I didn't say that, I just waited for her to explain.

"Look Jake, I like you…as a friend and well…some of the stuff I said… were only partly true. I don't have strong…feelings for you and I don't intend to" I winced at that point, oddly enough.

"So…you're saying…that you don't have any feelings for me?" I wanted her to clarify. She sighed, looking away and then turned to face me again with a small smile on her lips.

"It's more like a cr-crush and it'll go away, eventually. Believe me, it's nothing. I think it's best if we just brush past it. I mean, it's not important, really. That was just a crazy phase I went through. I promise it won't happen again" she said. Not important? Could I trust her on that?

"But Lee…"

"No Jacob, come on. I don't want to break down the mood. I guess I just said some of that stuff cause you know, imprinting plays tricks on the mind. And these past few days, I realized that…I do want a new start. I mean, without all this imprinting or dog business. In general, I mean. You did have a point" _Yeah, the point that I kind of proved wrong_. But I wasn't going to argue with her. If this is what she wanted, then that's good…right?

"Are you sure?" I asked, expecting some doubt but she just gazed at me, smiling and then punched my shoulder, gently.

"Of course I'm sure. I feel a lot better. I guess I am in a better place than I was before" she stated. It was nice to see her happy and if she wanted to push past it, then I could…right?

"That's great, Leah" I weakly stated and then I had an urge to pull her against my chest. So I took it as a sign and pulled her in for a hug. She hesitated for a moment but then melted into, resting her head on my chest and wrapping her arms around my torso. My arms were securing around her shoulders as my face buried itself in her hair. That smell was there again. It was nice, soothing. The warmth circled us and it felt so nice that I didn't want to leave. It was just so…calm. The sound of the waves and our steady breathing; the smell of Leah and her shampooed hair; and the feeling of her pressed against me, creating that warmth. I didn't know how long we stayed like that until Leah cleared her throat, signaling me to let go which I did, reluctantly. She brushed her hair as I rubbed the back of neck, shyly. She smiled at me which made me return it as well.

"I just want everything to go back to normal. Well, normal-ish. I'll be your smart harpy of a beta and you'll be my ass of an alpha" The smile on her face never looked better.

"As in friends?"

"If you want to put a label on it" she rolled her eyes, smiling. "Are you getting all sentimental on me, Black?"

"Sure, sure" I chuckled. I was relieved that this talk ended up well but also some odd reason, I was a bit unconvinced but I pushed that aside.

"Well, we better head back. I hope Seth hasn't eaten my ice cream" she said, as she turned to walk back to her house. I followed her, ignoring those questions in my head that remained unanswered.

"Well, I went over and it looked like Embry was half way done with the 'Pralines 'n' Cream'"

"Aww man, that was my ice cream" she groaned.

"Really? I always thought you were more of 'Cookies 'n' Cream' kind of person"

"Well, I like a different variety. You got a problem with that?"

"No Ma'am. But Embry doesn't seem to care"

"Oh well, its okay then. I guess I can let him slid"

"Woah, let him slid? Are you feeling okay? What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? I guess Embry is fine since he's been some use these days. He's cool" _Cool, she says?_

"I thought all of us were annoying"

"Well, he's the least annoying"

"Ouch, that hurts"

She chuckled. "He understands what I've been through and he's really supportive of it. Plus he's a sweet guy"

"Ouch, that hurt even much" it really did. How could she only think Embry cared about her like this?

She chuckled again. I think it's a disease because she can't stop chuckling. But it's not like I want her to. "No, I mean sure you're there too Jake. But Embry was there when I didn't even know how to deal with my own emotions. He understands them and finds ways to making me feel better."

"In other words, he's an understanding wuss?" That came out wrong but something urged me to say that! I'm so mean for a reason that I can't even control.

"What? Oh come on Jake, you're so mean to him."

"What? I'm sorry but Embry can be like that sometimes. Or sometimes he can't keep his junk in his trunk." _Word vomit, much?_

"You're the one to talk" She huffed.

"Hey, I think I've been doing a pretty good job"

"Of course, cause you're love of your life just hit puberty" _Love of my life…okay, this is going to get awkward._

"Not exactly love of my life and you can't exactly call it puberty." There was a bit of silence after that. Damn it, I didn't want it awkward again! I just wanted it to be about her and me, not that.

"…Let's not talk about it" she finally declared.

"Yeah, good plan" Thank god. It's better if we stay clear of that. We just walked slowly towards her house. This felt nice. Talking to her again, seeing her again, and being able to be close to her again. So much happens, yet I can't stay away from her. I needed her to ground me and just in general I guess. Okay, I haven't spoken to her in…3 in half minutes, think of something, Jacob.

"So heard you've been hanging out with the Cullens" I stated.

"Oh yeah, it's new"

"Noticed. Can I ask how come?"

"I don't know, I guess they're not that bad. Alice is kind of fun and Rosalie is cool"

"I'm sorry, did you just call Blondie 'cool'?" I snorted.

"She's much better when you get to know her"

"Well, I'm not going to try to. But what's wrong with hanging out with us?" I pouted.

"Nothing, it's just that it's nice to have girl…-ish company once in a while. If you haven't noticed that I'm a girl" she gazed at me.

"Really? I just noticed…now" I smirked at her. Her mouth opened a bit before shaking her head, and rolling her eyes.

"You are unbelievable" and then she started to jog off.

"Hey, where are you going?" I called out.

"Home, where I can't find you" she turned to face me, but still jogging backwards.

"Don't be too sure about that. You still have your ice cream to share with me"

"Yeah right, keep dreaming" she chuckled and then turned around, jogging towards the house, with the hem of her dress flying a bit low of the breeze.

I chuckled to myself before sinking my hands in my pockets. I did notice her… as a totally beautiful and fun girl for the first time today (well, she was always fun and beautiful but it was a bit different today)…A girl that I could have possibly really liked years ago and…I liked her. I hope she stays longer…and I'm going to try and keep her.

**

* * *

**

Yes, update is late again. You lost trust in me right? *tear* anyway, it's been so damn sucky since I have to study, and my drama performance and after school stuff. So yeah, I hope you understand. Well, this chapter was fun to write actually and I hoped I made it worth it. The ending though with Jake and Leah kind of was 'ehh' for me, but it's up to you what you think. I finished it at 6:45 in this morning because I promised myself yesterday to get it out by yesterday but I didn't and I couldn't post it in my morning cause I was running extremely late. So I did the next best thing.

**Okay, so Jacob's conflict with Leah. I hope you know that Jacob cares about Leah soo much that he wanted to apologize for a reason he didn't even know himself. The whole fact that Leah wanted to take a breather was because she wanted clear her thoughts and to quote Embry when he said 'she thinks to hard yet tries not to' means that she's having conflicting thoughts on how to tackle her feelings for Jake. But in the end, she felt it was best if they forgot it and went on with their own lives *sighs*. But Jacob seems to be a bit unsure of that and also he's having some glimpses of the light himself (hence the name of the chapter. Smart, right?). The diary moment was to show his before friendship feelings for Leah and maybe a possible change in his feelings now? : P and Embry was there just for me and some fun (All hot and half naked with ice cream; have mercy! XP) The next chapter would be how Leah goes through the others still trying to convince her about her feelings for Jake like the Cullens…and also a pack member.**

'***~*~*~*~*~*' – that is the flashback, connecting to the diary entry.**

**Okay, I'm starting this new thing which I'm gonna do for every chapter that comes out. Each reviewer is allowed to ask one question to after I've post a chapter and I shall answer one (or maybe more, depending how much I like it or want to answer it) at the end of the upcoming chapters. This is just for fun and to 'connect with my reviewers.'**

**The questions can't be so personal, meaning like me full on. It can be my inspirations, my future work or work, my likes and dislikes, my impressions on stuff, what do I prefer, what books or movies, what I'm looking forward to, how did I imagine, etc.**

**This week I took a question of my own…**

_**Impression on: Julia Jones as Leah Clearwater:**_

**Is it wrong for me to say that I DON'T see Julia as playing Leah? *dodges tomatoes* WAIT! LISTEN! Okay, in some pictures Julia looked absolutely gorgeous but I dunno. I did not imagine Leah to look like her and Julia is a bit old to play Leah (but there must be some reason why they picked her so it's okay x]). Surprising as it sounds, while writing this chapter I imagined Julia to look more like Sarah Black, with a bit of a rounder face. Cause I imagined Sarah to be tall and young for her age and being pretty. I didn't imagine Julia as Leah but I am so waiting to see her in Eclipse and how she plays it out. She might do a good job of Leah but in my head, I pictured Leah a bit differently.**

**Okay, Reviews would be nice and I'm awaiting questions. Curiosity did kill the cat but it's hardly something we can control now, is it? xP**


	16. Never Alone

**Leah Clearwater**

"So, you like the Alpha dog huh?"

I felt the milkshake go up my nose, making me choke for a minute or two. Rubbing my nose and controlling my coughs, I heard Emmett's idiotic chuckle and the sound of chair legs getting dragged and placed not too far away from the kitchen counter. Okay, that was something I so did not expect.

"What the hell Emmett?" I cried out, gazing at his 100 watt smile as he rested his chin on his arms, carefully draped around the backrest of the kitchen stool. Okay, this is soo not what I wanted to hear in the morning, in the house of leech.

"Emmett, Shh now" Alice shot a look at him and then took another kitchen stool and sat on the other side of the counter, right opposite of me.

"You…told him?" I eyed everyone in the area as they all had a small grin on their faces. You know, it's so not something to talk about because well, it's not true…kind of.

"Yeah but I kind of guessed anyways" Emmett replied. Unbelievable, that Emmett actually paid attention to this even though no one was supposed to know about it or make a big deal about it.

"But seriously, I thought you could have done so much better" Emmett went on. I raised my eyebrow at him, slowly wiping the edge of my lip. "I mean, I thought you and I had something special together, she-wolf. I mean I really liked you, and you're hot and I'm hot so together, we could have made an awesome team."

Before I could retort to that comment, Rosalie beat me to it, by smacking the back of his head.

"That's enough from you, big guy" she stated, holding back a small giggle. Jasper had that weary smile as he stood at the corner of the counter, flipping through a phonebook, randomly. Was something funny? Cause I don't see anything funny here. Believe me. Right now, it's the opposite of funny. It's annoying and weird. I know it's not the exact opposite of funny but whatever it was, it wasn't funny.

"So Leah, what brings you here this fine morning?" Alice spoke. I directed my raised eyebrow to her now, in question. Was she really asking that question?

"Hmm Alice, you called me over…? For milkshake and I said sure, remember?"

"I did? Oh well, then that's great cause we haven't seen each other in a while have we?"

Okay, something is definitely up. I mean, why does Alice sound like she's trying so hard to act nonchalant while Jasper and Rosalie look like they're trying to keep their smiles intact with their faces?

"What's going on?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at all four of them.

"Nothing, why would you think something was up?"

_Because your eyes are really boring into me, screaming that there is something up_. "Because you guys are acting really creepy. And I mean weird creepy"

"Is there any other kind?" Jasper muttered. _True, I guess_.

"Well, the Alpha hasn't been coming around lately" Rosalie stated.

"…Uhuh…?"

"And so haven't you"

"…right"

"So…"

"So?"

"Oh for Christ's sake! What happened between you and Jacob? What did he say?" Alice finally blurted out, hardly able to contain herself.

"Huh?" I exclaimed.

"So much for the plan" Jasper rolled his eyes, grinning.

"Plan? What pla—oh my god! You…! You didn't call me over to just drink milkshake! You called me over to interrogate me!" I gasped, getting up from my seat.

"Wow, give her a prize. What happened? You've been slow lately" Rosalie spoke.

"Well, I can't believe you guys! And I'm leaving right now!" I announced but then looked down at the milkshake. Okay, that's such a waste. One of the things I can't stand is wasting food. It's also a wolf thing I guess. "…right after I finish my milkshake."

I sat back down, slurping the remains of the milkshake while Emmett and Rosalie let out a small chuckle. At least I avoided that topic.

"Oh come on, Leah. You know we'll find out anyways" Alice said and then rested her chin on her palms. "So you told him, didn't you?"

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Oh great, just great. Just the one thing I wanted to avoid and they had to bring it up again. I'm really starting to doubt why I ever started to bond with them.

"Yeah, I did. So we done now?" I sighed, taking a big slurp of the milkshake.

"And he reacted, badly" Rosalie said.

"Well yeah, what did you expect? We done?"

"But you got him having doubts" Jasper stated.

"What? No, I didn't"

"Well of course you did, I mean why else wouldn't he show up for two days?" Jasper spoke.

"I don't know, maybe he has alpha duties. Topic over now" Why are they still convincing me that Jacob could possibly have feelings for me. It's just going to be a bigger disappointment to me.

"But he came to see you yesterday, didn't he?" Alice questioned. Do they not know what is meant by 'topic over'? And how did she know?

"How did you…?"

"He did, didn't he? To talk to you, right?" Alice beamed.

"I-I guess"

"So…what did he say?" she was still beaming away.

"Hmm…well, he's didn't exactly say anything" I looked down at the glass, playing with the straw.

"Then what happened?" Still, with that wide smile. Oh great, might as well get over it.

"Well, we spoke…"

"Yeah…" she started shivering a bit, unable to contain her excitement for some odd reason.

"And we spoke about that night…"

"Yes, yes…"

"About my feelings and how I acted…"

"Yeah…"

"And…"

"And?" she squealed a bit.

"And I told him to forget about it. All of it!" I concluded, looking at them. There, there is the answer they were waiting for…or so I thought.

"And you told him to…!" she squealed happily before fully registering what I just said. "—WHAT?"

"Yeah" I replied, with a small grin. I saw Rosalie and Emmett's grins slowly fall, while Jasper raised his eyebrow at me and Alice had shock plastered on her face. Why are they acting like I just grew two heads?

"Are you serious?" Rosalie finally spoke.

"Mhmm, I knew it was for the best" I nodded.

"What the hell? Why did you do that?" Alice suddenly cried, standing up and slamming her palms on the counter, making me and Emmett jump a bit. Man, the pixie is scary when she's angry.

"Cause Alice! I realized that my feelings were for the wrong reason!" I yelled back, standing up by my seat and almost knocking down my milkshake. Two can play at this game.

"What wrong reason? The fact that you love him?"

"No, and I'm not in love with him!"

"Tell that to you thoughts and emotions" Jasper snorted and I turned to glare at him.

"Shut up! Just stop it okay! This is too muc—" I was cut off as a really strong wave of a calming sensation, coursed through my body. I took in a few breaths before opening my eyes at Jasper.

"Thanks…" I hissed as he just merely shrugged.

"Look, this whole incident just helped me emphasis my point even more" I told them.

"What point?" Alice asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"The fact that Jacob is destined to be with Nessie and vice versa" I looked down upon Alice.

"What? No. Leah, I told you…" Rosalie protested.

"I know what you told me but I'm sorry to say that you are wrong. Nessie belongs with Jacob. It's their fate to be together" I replied a lot softer than usual.

"Man, that is soo gay" Emmett uttered.

"Tell me about it" I rolled my eyes.

"But Leah, we understand that but what about you?" Rosalie spoke.

"What about me? I'm great and I always knew that I would alone, and I've lived with that. This thing with Jacob is just probably happened at the fact that I'm such a desperate bitch that I have to have so-called feelings with the first wolf I hang out with. Actually, Alpha. Hey, have you noticed that alphas are my specialty?" I weakly chuckled, as a felt a small twinge of pain ran through my face before masking it with my sarcasm. They all exchanged unsure and sadden expressions before all looking at me.

"Hey, you're right!" Emmett finally exclaimed. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie rolled their eyes before Rosalie laid another smack on the back of his head. I sighed and sank down to my seat, running the tip of my ring finger around the rim of the glass.

"But Leah…" Alice whined. Oh man, I thought we were done. "He does care about you. He does have feelings for you. We just know it."

"Well, he might and I'm saying he does but, it doesn't matter. He will forget all of that when he feels that immense love for Nessie and…it can't be changed" I stated, staring at the rim of the glass and not at their sympathizing faces.

"But you do care about him" Rosalie spoke. It was not a question but a statement.

"I care about him enough to see him happy. He's been through a lot and I'm glad that he finally found a way to cure the pain. So if he's happy, then there is nothing from stopping me for feeling happy for my alpha, right?"

"But Leah…" Alice continued, in a small tone.

"I'm fine! Seriously and it's time that you guys accept that there isn't and never will be a Jacob or me. It's Jacob and Nessie forever. I mean, you guys already knew this, then you should stick to this decision. Don't make all my clueless and stupid thoughts confuse you"

"It wasn't all of the sudden that we had these thoughts, Leah" Emmett declared.

"Well change them. Because the bottom line is that Jacob loves Nessie just as much as Nessie loves him. You wouldn't want to take him away from you niece, now would you?"

"But what about you and Jacob?" Alice asked, unsurely.

"Ugh! I told you, I spoke to Jake and everything is back to normal. He and I are good. We have forgotten it and I'm getting rid of these ridiculous feelings. We're really fine and we're hanging out like we used to and you know what? I'm happy. You hear me, I'm happy!" I exclaimed and again felt that calming sensation through my body.

"I'm really fine, Jasper" I huffed, rolling my eyes at him.

"So conclusion: Me and Jacob is a no-no. There is nothing there and there will be nothing. Nessie and Jacob are destined together. They both love each other and you guys have to accept it. You don't want to stand in the way of those two, now would you? You and I can't do anything about that and we shall never" I explained.

"That's what you think" I slightly heard Jasper mutter. What's that supposed to mean? Just then, Renesmee came into the kitchen just on cue. I turned around to see her enter and my eyes widened for a moment before shaking off the small scared and unsure feelings. God, she is so beautiful. She was wearing a floral shirt and faded jeans, and a ribbon was perfectly wrapped around her bronze curls. See? Why would Jacob even consider anyone else when he's destined with someone as special…as her?

"Good morning everyone" she greeted and walked towards Rosalie and placed a kiss on her cheek. Then she turned and realized that I was sitting by the counter.

"Good morning, Leah. It's nice to see you" She said, in a sweet tone with a soft smile.

"Morning Renesmee and thanks" I grinned, trying to ignore those small groans playing at the back of my head. Seriously, I need to get my head examined.

"Looks like Alice lured you in with that milkshake" she giggled.

"She sure did" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, I'll make one of you Nessie" Alice said, before getting up and walking behind me, taking all the ingredients in the kitchen. Rosalie and Emmett started whispering some stuff while Jasper skimmed through a crossword book.

I directed all my attention to my milkshake, only able to hear the sound of pouring milk behind me and Rosalie whispering something to Emmett. Only after I finished slurping all the way to the bottom of the glass that I noticed that I was being watched. I slowly looked up only to look at those big almond shaped brown eyes, gazing at me with such a soft gaze. I slowly pulled my lips off the straw and brought my full view to face Nessie, who was gazing at me with such an understanding and soft smile. Okay, I think I've seen this look before…

"Is something wrong, Nessie?" I softly asked. Her smile widened a bit and her eyes glimmered a bit.

"You're such a strong woman, Leah. You deserve so much" she softly replied. My eyebrows rose for a moment, before I ran a hand through my hair. Okay, that was random. Well, I can't be honestly surprised since they are all like that.

"Hmm, thanks Nessie. Right back at cha" I said, unsurely.

"You really do….Jacob deserves you…" she softly announced and I felt my whole body just freeze. "…the same way you deserve him"

Woah, woah, woah! Where did come from? I'm in a bad dream ain't I? This is a joke right? Please tell me it's a joke or a dream! Please! I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and only opened them to see her still looking at me with those eyes. Oh shit! Shit! This isn't good.

"Wh-what? What are you saying Nessie?" I weakly chuckled. "M-me and Ja-Jacob? That is crazy. Wh-What would m-make you think such a-a th-thing?"

Nessie just slowly batted her eyelashes, with a small genuine smile on her face as she slowly stretched forward and placed her pale hand on top of mine. And there we went again. With her showing me images. I again gasped as I felt my vision slowly change (I could never get used to this). It was an image of the Cullen living room, with two people standing in the middle of the room. Two tall people and they looked like they were arguing. There was a bit of the wall covering a quarter of an image and a hand placed on the wall, as the two people argued. I gasped again. Shit! That hand…that's…Nessie's hand. And those two arguing…is that me and…Jacob?

_"You don't know how much it hurts, Jake! How much it hurts not to feel loved, not to be wanted! Imprinting has been taking over everything and now….NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I CAN LOVE ANYMORE!" _I saw myself yelling at Jacob, trying so hard to contain my tears.

Oh no…no, no no…it was that night…the night that…The image changed to when I just ran out of the house.

_"LEAH WAIT!" _Jacob yelled, about to run after me but…he didn't. I saw his hands clench and unclench, and I could see him biting his lip real hard. He took a few steps back before letting out a small groan. He walked towards the couch and sunk down, burying his face in the palms of the hands. He muttered some words but I couldn't make out most of it but I heard some of them

"_I'm sorry Leah…I-I…don't know…I didn't m-mean to come…wrong. I di-didn't want to…hurt you…ever"_ he muttered, before rubbing her face hard (probably out of frustration).

I felt Nessie hand fall down before I was brought back to reality. I took a few calming breaths before having enough guts to look Nessie in the eye. I realized that the whole room had gotten a lot quieter than before. I stared at her brown eyes as she rested her arms on the counter.

"Wh-what…what was th-that…?" I panted a bit, a bit scared of Nessie's reaction.

"I was there" she plainly stated. I felt my eyes widened as the small twinge of pain turned to guilt. This so can't be good.

"I came to the house, the day that you told Jacob that you had feelings for him" Okay, I'm officially feeling guilty and an idiot to have done this at the leech's house. I am soo not right in the head!

"N-Nessie...tha-that mean-meant…nothing, trust me…it was noth-nothing—" I stuttered until I saw Nessie slowly shaking her head with a small grin.

"It's okay, Leah" she smiled.

"No it's not. I had no right to say any of that"

"No right? Of course you did. It's your feelings and your heart. And I don't blame you"

"You should though, Nessie"

"No, why? I mean if you love Jacob, that's actually great and I'm happy for you"

"What? No Nessie, there is definitely nothing between me and Jacob"

"Leah, why do you keep denying it?"

"Because it's a childhood problem, most probably" Edward suddenly appeared, leaning against the kitchen doorframe. I closed my eyes, regretting this so much before looking over my shoulder and seeing him, with a small grin on his face.

"Oh no…" I groaned, sinking my head into my hands. This can't be happening. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I can't believe I ruined everything! _You're an idiot, Leah! IDOIT!_

"You sure are" Edward snorted, behind me. _I didn't ask you to comment._

"No seriously, you are one. I mean, you finally have feelings for someone who makes you forget about Sam and you're denying it?" he stated. He's seriously wondering why I'm doing this? What is wrong with this family?

"You're seriously wondering that? I can't believe I'm actually ruining an imprint. I guess I'm a natural, no?" I cried, gazing at everyone in the area.

"Leah…" Nessie whispered.

"Nessie, I'm sorry. This is nothing, it will go away. It will go away" I promised her. But I wasn't sure if I could fully pull it off but I would...For her and Jacob.

"No, it won't…" she spoke. "But…I'm happy for you Leah"

"You're…happy for me? You're HAPPY for me? Nessie what is that supposed to mean?" I whined. This is soo screwing my head.

"Meaning that I'm happy that you're finally able to express your feelings for Jacob so that he could return his feelings for you too" Nessie explained, with a smile.

"What? No, no Nessie. He doesn't have feelings for me"

"He does, Leah. I see it all the time. In his eyes. Every time he's with you and it was obvious" Nessie asserted.

"We told you" Alice spoke.

"I told you his feelings for you were unstable. He kind of already had some slight romantic feelings for you and well now, they're starting to come clearer" Jasper stated.

"And you're in his mind just as much as Nessie is" Edward explained.

"He cares about you and I'm happy that both of you could be together. He just needs to discover his feelings for you and then there is no denying it" Nessie exclaimed, placing her hand on mine but not to project any images but just for support.

I just sat there, motionlessly taking in all they said. What is going on? I mean…they are trying to convince me that Jacob could possibly…have feelings for me too? But why would they do this? I mean, don't they know that in the end I would be the hurt? But Nessie is the one convincing me to be with him. Why? He's her imprinter. It's too dangerous, because he's an imprinted man and his own imprint will need him one day. Why don't they understand that? I turned my gaze at Nessie, with sad eyes.

"Nessie, he's your imprint" I said, blankly.

"I know, and that's why I love him enough to let him go" she said.

"It's not possible"

"Who knows?"

"EVERYONE KNOWS!" I yelled, kicking the chair behind me, and it slammed against the fridge. That was it! Just when I want to forget all about this, they keep pushing me to remember. Remember something that didn't have the slightest chance of being true.

"God! Why Nessie? Why would you do this to me? To Jacob?"

"I'm doing what's right" she stated, a bit stunned at my reaction.

"If you want to do something that is right, then forget all of this. Forget all this me and Jacob crap because it is not true! He is your imprinter and he is destined for you!"

"Leah, he may be destined to be with me but I know that he's supposed to be with you"

"No. No, he's not. If he was, he would have imprinted on me but he didn't. Because I'm a she-wolf who can't even pass a wolf gene! Nothing can happen between me and Jacob. He and you shall be together"

"But Leah, I don't fully see Jacob that way and I doubt Jacob feels the same way"

"Not now, but in due time you will! In few years time, you would be taken to the pull and feel the strong love towards him, the same way he will towards you. And you guys shall be together!"

Nessie winced a bit at the harshness of my tone. I didn't care though because it's starting to piss me off and even hurt me a bit as well.

"I still think that Jacob cares more about you than you think" Nessie whispered.

"Well, I don't care! And I doubt he would care! There is nothing there! Look, I told him it was a crush and it is, so it will go away. We both worked it out so please! Please accept that and-" that calming sensation again hit me but I was a bit too agitated to fully sense it.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JASPER, STOP IT!" I glared at him, as he just grinned at me. I closed my eyes and took some more calming breaths. After a minute or two of silence and calming thoughts, Rosalie finally spoke.

"So…you're just going to forget your feelings for the dog, huh? Just going to get rid of it?"

"Yeah and I'm pretty good at doing that" I sighed. Again a few unsure glances were shared in the room. I looked at Nessie who had a small twinge of sadness coursing across her angelic face. "Look Nessie, I spoke to Jake and we're good. I realized that it was for the best and it is. You make Jacob so happy and I'm glad. I just can't do with all of this drama and I don't want to lose a friend like him either."

"I thought this was what both of you wanted" she softly said, looking down at her arms.

"No_… this_ is what we both want" I clarified, slowly pulling my dress strap onto my shoulder. She, along with Emmett, Rosalie and Alice sighed. Hopefully in defeat.

I didn't bother to look at Jasper or over my shoulder at Edward, so that I could avoid those 'I-know-you-are-lying' faces. But I wasn't totally lying. I did want to forget it…so it could stop my heart from breaking slowly. God, this is a lot than I can handle in a day. First Edward finds out, then Jasper, then Rosalie and Alice and now Nessie, who is the imprint of the man that I possibly love. _Loved!_ Right. Then a thought struck me.

"Wait a minute…if Nessie knew, then that means…" My eyes widened. "Does everyone know?" I so didn't want to make a big deal on something that wasn't meant to exist.

"Carlisle and Esme kind of have a vague idea" Rosalie stated. Oh great, but I guess they weren't my biggest problem. My biggest problem was…

"And Bella hasn't got a clue" I heard Edward say from behind. Oh thank god! But wait, how could she not know? I mean, isn't Edward kind of that honest husband material?

"I felt that it was better if mom didn't know because she would make it a big deal. Plus, she's been moody lately" Nessie said. _Hmph, when hasn't she?_ I heard Edward let out a small huff.

"Well, that's good. I really don't need that fricking leech jumping on me for-"

"Hello everyone" and entered Bella Swan, just as I turned around to turn my scowl to a fake smile.

"Bella! Hello to you too!" I squealed in a fake happy tone. She stood next to Edward with a raised eyebrow, while Edward tried to hide his laugh.

"Oh…I thought I smelt a wet dog…I guess I was wrong, it was a wet bitch" she huffed.

"Mom" Nessie protested behind me. Oh great, there is no way in hell I'm putting a smile for her. Even if it's a fake one.

"Woah Bella, who knew you, actually knew those sort of words? What would Chief Swan say if he heard your potty mouth? Especially in front of a child. Talk about bad parenting" I fake gasped. Emmett bursted into a chuckling fit while Edward just harmlessly smiled at Bella's death glare at me.

"What do you know about being a parent Leah? You'll probably kill your own child…oops, my bad you can't have one" she sneered. Ouch, low blow.

"Bella" Edward finally objected to his wife's behavior. She thinks that she would use the baby topic to get me, she got another thing coming. But I wasn't in the mood for her right now (I was never in the mood for her anyways, why make now an exception?)

"Ohhh, I'm so scared of your words, Bella" I rolled my eyes. "As much as I would love to stare at your disgusting, pmsing face and hear your mouth hole go on and on, I have to go protect my land and not lung for the peoples' throats who are claimed to be 'my loved ones' unlike, _some_ people I know"

That comment made her snarl as she pushed past me and stood next to Nessie. I smirked and said goodbye to everyone and headed for the door. Edward stood there, gazing at me and I mouthed 'don't start' which he just merely replied with a wink and walked into the kitchen while I left the house of leech, sighing with relief after feeling less suffocated.

* * *

As usual, my travels lead me to La Push beach. I don't know why but this is where I could find peace, quiet and serenity. Even though it was a public beach, just gazing at the sea meet the sky just felt so relieving. I stood just 20 feet away from where the waves crashed against the shore, eyes closed and arms draped around my body. The smell of salt water, morning breeze and evergreen filled my nose and lungs as I took in a couple of soothing breaths. Lately, it felt like I was practicing how to calm myself down and it's been working pretty effectively. The sea breeze danced around my body, playing with the hem of my blue sundress and running through my hair. I wish I could feel like this all the time. It felt somehow, so free. I'm not saying that I'm not free but…just sometimes, I feel like I'm so caught up in the stuff that happened in the past that I keep forgetting to walk forward. Instead, I slowly start to walk backwards. I don't want to do that anymore because it doesn't help anyone…not me or anyone else.

"Aunt LEEAAAHHH!" I heard a squeal before a sudden brace around my legs. If I was a regular human, that would have knocked me over but, luckily it didn't. I turned my head around and looked down to see Claire, with her toothy smile beaming at me, wearing a cute two piece pink swimsuit and with her arms wrapped around my thighs.

"Hey Claire, I haven't see you in ages" I smiled, as she removed her arms around my legs and I swept her into my arms. "Oh, someone's grown"

"I know! Me!" she giggled and then planted a small kiss on my cheek. Isn't she the sweetest thing ever?

"Claire, wait! Oh man, there is too much stuff" and I turned to see Quil tottering, carrying all sorts of toys such as swimming tubes, sand buckets, mini shovels, etc, all around his body. Who knew a five year old could have so much baggage? I guess, Quil is the best for that job then.

"You made him carry all of that?" I asked Claire and she nodded.

"High five" and we high fived, before we both started to giggle and watched Quil come closer.

"You look like a parade balloon, Quil" I chuckled.

"Ha ha, very funny Leah. Claire, where do you want all of this stuff?" he asked.

"Over there!" she pointed and Quil waddled over there, dumping the stuff just a few feet from the water. He walked back to us as I slowly set Claire down.

"Woah, dress Leah?" he gazed at me.

"It's a new thing I'm trying"

"It looks good"

"Quil! Can I go and play now?" Claire asked, pulling Quil's shorts. Quil gazed at her and then knelt down so that he was close to her eyes level.

"Yeah sure, do you need me to come with you?" he asked.

"No, I'm big girl now!" she exclaimed. Quil and I both smiled.

"That you are" he combed her hair a bit with his fingers. She placed a kiss on his cheek and then ran towards the water.

"Watch out for the waves! Make sure you don't trip on your toys! Don't go too far" Quil called out at Claire. I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness.

"Sure sure" Claire yelled before giggling and putting on her tube. I chuckled at the fact that Jacob's habit was rubbing off on most nowadays.

"Seriously, one day you will make an awesome wife and mommy" I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Leah" he rolled his eyes. I chuckled and then slowly sunk down to the sand, straightening my dress properly. Quil sighed, gazing at Claire before taking a seat next to me, resting her arms around his knees.

"So what brings you here, Clearwater?" Quil asked.

"I live here, Ateara"

"Well yeah but you don't get out much do you? At least I don't see you around."

"Hmm, yeah, well I've been a bit off lately. But I decided that I couldn't live behind closed doors forever"

"About time. It was starting to freak me out that you wanted to live like the leeches. But at least they come out when there is no sun" Quil chuckled, and I just nudged him.

"Shut up, I'm not that bad"

"True I guess"

"Anyways, how was your trip to Seattle?"

"Oh it was great. Me and Claire had so much fun. Of course, her parents were being a bit protective but then her mom started to warm up to me. But her dad is still a bit grouchy. I guess it's a dad thing…"

"Yeah, it is. Remember that one time between you and dad…" I chuckled.

"Oh, how can I forget? That scared the shit out of me."

"I was just joking that he should use his shotgun but who knew he was serious?"

"He was dead serious. I could still hear that shot whizzing through the air. That sure gave me a clear warning to not make a move at you, again"

"I doubt you learnt your lesson" I rolled my eyes, grinning.

"Nope, I didn't and I bet Harry knew that too" Quil chuckled. "But he was cool. I miss him"

"I miss him too" I weakly smiled and then gazed towards the horizon, watching Claire splash water all over the view.

"Hey…" Quil placed his hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm fine…why would you think something was wrong?"

"Just a feeling. Just to let you know that Harry was a great guy and that you're not alone, okay?"

"Thanks Quil. What's with all this corniness anyways?" I gazed at him.

"I don't know, I guess you kind of looked down lately. Like that day of your dad's death anniversary, you looked down and I wasn't able to say any of this stuff"

"Well, of course I would be down. It _was_ my dad's death anniversary" I mean, _duh._

"I know but stubborn as you are, you wouldn't show that. You wouldn't show that you missed him and you were really sad inside" Hmm, I guess that partly true.

"I wanted to tell you we've got your back but then you just ran to your room that day. Then I saw Jacob go up and then I knew that the job was probably done" Quil smiled at me.

"Job was done? What do you mean?" I crunched my eyebrows together.

"Meaning that he could handle you. He somehow always had a way of understanding you so I thought that he was the one who you needed at that moment the most" he explained. I just gazed at him explain and wondered if it was true. It was true that Jacob somehow was able to understand what I was going through at that moment, at Sam and Emily's wedding and other scenarios. But there are moments where he sometimes doesn't…mainly because I don't want him to because it involves him…

"I guess so" I whispered.

"And vice versa, I mean you too have a way of knowing Jacob's intentions. That's why you guys such a strong bond. Alpha and beta, friend and friend" Quil continued, moving his gaze to me. I don't know, maybe…at one point. Ever since things got awkward I don't know if we are the same. _No, we are! Nothing happened and we decided that…_right?

"Mhmm" was all I said.

"And falling for him surely strengthened that bond" he finished off.

"Mhmm—wait, what?" I stared at him, bewildered. What. The. Hell?

"I knew you would fall for that" Quil chuckled. Oh, it was joke. Oh thank god, it was joke! For a moment, I thought he was….

"But seriously, I can't honestly say I'm totally surprised that you fell for him" and then he had to go and burst my bubble. He is serious! Oh my god! Not again!

"What? Oh my god, did the Cullens get to you too?" I screeched.

"The Cullens know?" Quil exclaimed, honestly surprised.

"What do you mean 'the Cullens know'?" I cried again. Oh no…he didn't know that the Cullens…oh shit, oh shit! Ah! Seriously I think I have literally lost my brain, somewhere. I bet it sunk down to the bottom of the ocean.

"Wow" was what Quil only said, before chuckling away. Oh god, this is soo annoying.

"What 'wow'? Quil, there is nothing going on between me and Jacob okay? It's not true! You're wrong…you're wro-wrong. Nothing is going on. You hear me? Nothing" I stressed on my point, gazing at him with my eyes so wide that it felt like it just might fall out.

"Are you sure it's not true?" what does he mean by that?

"Yes, I'm sure!"

"There is something you're not telling me, Lee"

"There is nothing to tell you, Quil. There is nothing between me and Jacob, got that?" I replied, quite harshly. Quil just merely grinned but then sighed and gazed at the horizon.

"Fine, don't tell me. It's okay…" finally, he gave in.

"Good…" I sighed in relief.

"I'll just go to Cullens and ask them. It's been a while since I've been there anyways. Hopefully Esme made her amazing roast chicken. We can talk over lunch" he concluded and then got ready to get up. What? No way! That little dog! There is no way in hell he's going to Cullens. Who knows what sort of other crap they will stuff in his head? It's bad enough that they wouldn't let me live it down; and adding Quil to the matter will be hell.

"Oh no you don't!" I roared, pulling his shirt down and he fell down onto the sand again. He had that buzz grin on his face again as he slowly shifted himself to half face me. I sighed. Why god? Why me? How did he even find out? Might as well get over it.

"Fine, you caught me…" I softly hissed, looking down at my lap. "You happy?"

"Wow Leah, I always thought you hated Jake"

"You and me, both" I sighed.

"But like I said, I'm not totally surprised either" _So I've heard from others._

"It doesn't change anything, Quil" I sighed, pulling my knees to my chest, pulling my dress down to cover my knees. It was true and we all knew that.

"Why not?"

"You're seriously asking that Quil? Look there" I said, gesturing towards Claire who was trying to build a sand castle. She gazed at us, smiled and waved at us before dumping sand on top of a lump of more sand. Quil instantly understood what I meant.

"The imprint? That's what stopping you?"

"Isn't it supposed to?"

"Well, did you tell him? About your feelings?"

I nodded. "I did"

"And..?"

"Like, I said it doesn't change anything" I sighed, gazing at the horizon. "I told him to forget about it yesterday so everything could back to normal."

"Why did you tell him to forget it Leah?"

"You're really asking that question, Quil?" I whined, gazing at Quil and saw for the first time, the seriousness in Quil's eyes.

"Yeah, I am. It's obvious that you still care for him"

"I care about him enough to let him go"

"To let him go? Leah, don't you know that he cares for you more than you care for him?"

"No he doesn't"

"Yeah he does. Are you serious?"

"Maybe yeah, as a friend or beta or just someone to annoy"

"Well, there's more."

"Please Quil, I already rested my case with the Cullens and I don't want to explain it all to you too that it's not possible"

"How do you know Leah? How do you know if you just keep trying to push past it?"

"Because running after Jacob, is like running after Sam. It just leads to a dead end."

"You can't honestly compare Jacob to Sam, can you?" Quil stated. It was true that Jacob was a lot different than Sam but in the end, their paths were kind of similar. Leading towards their devotion to their imprint.

"But their devotion to their imprint is the same thing. I should have learnt that a long time ago, that nothing can change that devotion. Jacob is meant for Nessie and it will end that way"

"But…"

"Quil, it's like asking you to leave Claire" I gazed at him, hardly. "To forget about her and leave her. Would you do that? Leave her for someone else? Or just leave her?"

Quil opened his mouth a couple of times but then closed it. He turned his gaze to Claire who was now playing in the small water pools by the rocks. Just the intensity in his eyes showed me how powerful the imprint was and how it's not so easy to say no. It keeps you connected to the one you're meant to be with.

"No…" he finally spoke and looked down at his lap. "I couldn't"

"Exactly. It's the same thing with Jacob and Nessie. She is his everything and I don't want to be in the middle of that. She keeps him happy and I want him happy" I softly explained, making small circles on the sand beside me.

"But imprinting isn't love, Leah" he spoke. I turned my gaze at him and he gazed at me with sympathetic eyes. "It's not love. I'm not in love with Claire. I just care about her, a great deal. Same with Nessie and Jake. Me and Jake spoke about this and realized that we are more brotherly figures to them."

"But that will change, Quil. When Claire grows up, you're bound to fall in love with her when she falls in love with you" I sighed and gazed at the sand again. "Same with Nessie and Jake, again."

"Maybe for me, but I doubt for Jake" I turned my gaze to him, creasing my forehead. What does he mean?

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. Nessie is already growing at such a fast rate, how come he doesn't feel that love towards her or vice versa? And plus, his pull doesn't seem as strong as the others and when the imprint grows, so does the pull. Then how come nothing major has happened?" Quil asked. Okay, that comment really got me stumped. Why _hadn't_ anything major happened? I mean, the imprint is supposed to be the strongest thing ever for a shape-shifter and yet, somehow for Jacob, it wasn't such a major difference.

"I hon-honestly don't know…" I was actually stumped. Wasn't there a class on imprinting and imprints because we all just seemed so clueless.

"Maybe there are some other feelings that are slowly coming clearer to Jake" Quil suggested.

"Quil, Jacob has no such feelings for me. He's my alpha and I'm his beta. He just hang out with me because he's forced to. We have a love-hate sort of friendship"

"You honestly, don't think that Jacob could possibly have _any_ romantic feelings for you?" Quil asked, a bit amused.

"I honestly don't think so. I know so"

"Pfft wow, you know nothing" Quil snorted.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Jacob always liked you"

"Oh god, Quil stop"

"No, I'm serious. He liked you as in general and he liked you as in crush wise"

"Now you're just making up stuff" I huffed. Yeah right, Jacob ever liked me. We both hated each other and everyone knew that.

"I'm serious" he said again and I gazed at him and saw that he indeed was serious. But that doesn't make sense, how?

"What? How?" I questioned.

"When we were a bit younger, everyone of course had a crush on you but I bet not as bad as Jake."

"Okay, now you're making stuff up. Jake always liked Bella"

"This was before Bella and between Bella times. But he did really like you. He did not like the fact that you were with Sam"

"Who did?" I huffed. It was true. Dad and Seth weren't really happy with it. Most of my friends didn't like it basically because they didn't have a chance with him.

"Good point" Quil chuckled. "But seriously, we all liked you but not the way Jacob did. Oh no, he was smitten. He was just lighten up every time your name was mentioned or when he saw you. Even Embry wasn't that bad."

"And what was surprising was that Jacob didn't just like you for your looks, he liked you for everything you were. The fact that you were active, fun, sarcastic, confident and just plain amazing. He liked everything single detail about you or whatever made you, you" Quil continued as I just stared at him, speechless.

"And he still loves that about you" he moved his gaze to me, with a small smile on his face. There was silence and all I could hear was my heart beating, twice its speed. Okay, what the hell? What is going on? One moment, I'm trying to forget that guy and the next I want him close to me again. This is not right! _Bad Leah, bad!_

I shook my head of all the heat and gazed at my lap. But I could still feel Quil's eyes on me. Why are they doing this to me? Why are they rekindling a flame that was long dead or was dying out? This isn't going to advantage anyone. Not me, not them and definitely not Jacob.

"I don't want to be a problem again, Quil. I don't want to hurt Jake"

"You won't Leah. Because like I said, he cares about you a lot more than you think"

"But I want to forget it, Quil"

"Why?"

"Because it's the best for him and for myself. I can't keep dwelling over something that has no chance of changing"

"Leah, you should open your eyes and see what's right in front of you before it goes away" Quil whispered.

"Every time I open my eyes, Quil, it just leads to a false trail. And I don't want to be lead on anymore. I don't want to that girl again" I closed my eyes, sighing. I felt the heat of his arm as he slowly wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me a bit closer to him.

"Then what do you want to be, Lee?" Quil whispered through my hair.

"I don't want to be the girl who keeps getting haunted by her past. I don't want to be that girl who people would pity. I don't want to be that girl who ruins everything. I don't want to be that girl" I sighed and then opened my eyes and looked at Quil. "I want to be Leah again; the old Leah. That part of me that left a long time ago."

"Nah, I don't think that part of you ever left. It was always inside of you. It was just buried underneath all that resentment, your defense mechanism, bossiness and thick sarcasm" Quil smiled and I smiled back.

"I guess so. And all of this was actually as wakeup call"

"Wakeup call to what?"

"That I can't keep sulking over something that I lost which wasn't even mine. That means for Sam and for Jacob. Of course my sarcasm and bossiness will still be around but I'll work a bit on cutting you guys some slack" I softly announced.

"Ha, sound good but I don't want you to change fully. You're pretty hot as a bitch" he smirked and I smacked the back of his head. "Hey, you said you'd work on that?"

"Old habits die hard" I stated. Quil and I chuckled. It felt good. Like a weight had finally lifted from my shoulders and I was feeling a bit freer. I had been dwelling over the past, I think a bit too long.

"I'm still resting my case about Jake though. Just think about it" Quil concurred.

"I don't want to, Quil because I don't need to. There was never a me and Jacob chapter and it's best that way. Please Quil?" I appealed softly. He gazed at me for a moment before grinning and kissed my forehead.

"Fine Leah, I understand"

"Wow, since when have you been so collected and…well, serious and smart?"

"I may act that way all sexy, annoying and a bit dumb on the outside but believe me, I know more than you think"

"Really?"

"Really, really"

"Well, this conversation is strictly between us, okay? Don't tell anyone. Not Embry, Not Seth; don't even tell Claire okay?" Hey, who knows? Maybe he tells Claire everything even though she probably wouldn't understand half of the stuff he says.

"Okay, Lee-lee" Quil squealed in his childish tone.

"Eww, don't call me that" I nudged his stomach and he chuckled.

"My bad" he smirked before moving his hand down my back and a lot lower.

"Quil!" I yelled, yanking his hand from my back.

"Hey, old habits die hard" he winked and I returned it with my classic eye roll. Quil may be a lunatic and he may seem a bit desperate and horny at times, but sometimes he just has these moments where I'm actually glad that he's in my life. A bit like Embry, he's also there to make me laugh and to understand me at times, these past years. He sometimes helps me forget. Come to think of it, the whole pack does make me forget about all the pain, irritation and trouble I sometimes go through. I guess, running to Jacob's pack was one of the right decisions I made in a long time.

"Woah, am I disturbing something?" a husky yet amused voice emerged from behind us. We both at the same time to see Jacob standing behind us while looking down at us with a small grin. After all this talk about him, I can't believe I'm actually surprised to see him appear. _Leah, push all that talk to the back of your head. Or just really far away._

"Nope, you're not disturbing anything, Alpha" Quil replied and then turned to me and gave me a wink. I rolled my eyes again as Quil got up. "Long time, no see man"

"Yeah, surprising isn't it?" Jacob said, running his hand through his messy black hair. Did they ever wash their hair?

"Quiillll!" I heard Claire call out and all three of us, turned to locate the five year old. She was completely wet and half of her face with covered with sand as she stood in one of the water pools by the rock.

"Oh Claire! Look out, there are crabs there!" Quil shrieked before running towards Claire, in full speed. Jacob chuckled as Quil jumped into the pool and scooped Claire up in his arms and took her to the sand again.

"My eyes, Quil!" Claire stated, trying to squint through the sand particles.

"Oh! Wait, don't move" Quil announced and then ran to the bunch of stuff, in search for a water bottle. Wow, if anyone would have told me that Quil would become like this, I would have laughed my ass off. Who knew he was caring?

"That guy" Jacob chuckled and I realized that he was still next to me. I looked at him as he watched Quil run back to Claire with the water bottle and dunk the whole thing on top of her.

"He really takes care of her. It's sweet" I replied, and watched as Quil knelt down and slowly wiped his wet hands across her face to remove the sand. She giggled when he playfully pinched her nose.

"Oh, who's getting all softy now?" and I looked up to see Jacob, smirking down at me.

"Shut up and mind helping me up?" I rolled my eyes and stretched my hand out. He smiled and then took hold of my hand, and again forgetting her strength, pulled me up with such force that I slammed against his chest. I caught a grip of his shirt, if I were to fall down again. I released my grip and took two steps back and gazed at him.

"Seriously Jake, would you mind trying not to pull me apart? I'm not a bloodsucker, remember?" I said and he returned it with a small laugh. I rolled my eyes and straightened my sundress and noticed that Jacob was just leering at me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nice sundress…it looks good on you" Jacob spoke.

"You trying to be nice to me?"

"Ain't I always nice?"

"Sure sure. Now if you excuse my almighty alpha, I better be going" I announced and then turned to locate Quil and Claire.

"Bye Quil! Bye Claire!" I yelled at Quil who was holding Claire and gazing at the sea. They turned to me and waved goodbye.

"Leaving so soon, Lee? Why you don't like me?" he pouted. I rolled my eyes, grinning before walking off. I took a few steps before turning to face him.

"Let me answer that tomorrow. After all it is your chance to be extra nice to me" I spoke, walking backwards, arms behind my back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, honestly confused. Of course he wouldn't remember. I'm surprised that I actually do.

"Oh Jake, I'm hurt. You call me your loyal beta and you don't even remember you're beta's birthday?" I asserted. I saw as realization appeared on his face. I chuckled at how slowly he felt a bit guilty for forgetting my birthday. Oh well, I can't blame him. Not everyone remembers since I stopped celebrating birthdays a long time ago.

"It's okay Jake. Just remember to get something extra special for me" I announced with a wink and I turned to walk down the beach. From the corner of my eye, I saw him smile and rub the back of neck, apologetically.

I broke into a jog as I headed down the beach. I felt a lot freer than usual. Maybe it was about time that I stopped all this pity crap and start living my life the way I always wanted to live. Well, not completely since I'm a dog and I befriended leeches but other than that. I guess every cloud does have some kind of silver lining at one point. I just had to look for it and I think I found it. This could possibly be my new beginning for everything…my new dawn, you could say.

* * *

**HHEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOO!**

**Yes, I was delayed again. Sorry, again I had another case of writer's block and over flood-age of studies and school. I have spring break now but it is SO NOT a vacation. I still need to study like shit because I have my finals coming soon. And I really want to concentrate on that but this stupid brain of mine is not totally letting me. Anyways, I did want at least one chapter of MD to be done during this break so I'm glad that I was able to do that. **

**Okay, the Cullens are seriously getting into Leah's head about Jacob and it's really confusing and annoying to Leah. She does have feelings for Jacob but for her, the solution to forget them and ignore them and act like they never existed. I don't think anyone is convinced with that. Not the Cullens, not Quil and not even a bit of Leah, herself. But oh well, it is for the best…right?**

**This chapter was actually very vaguely written. Well, I think it was. I finished this chapter in one day, technically so that's why it didn't have that much of thought. But its' up to you so: PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU XDD**

**The next chapter; I will try hard to get out during this break… hopefully. Hint: Shows Leah's positive way to a new start while someone else has some mixed feelings and mini glimpses of the light. 3 guesses who *wink wink***

**Oh, btw I watched the 'Eclipse sneak peek' and it looked pretty cool. I liked Rachelle and it was sad that she got fired but the new Victoria looks so CUTE, for some reason xPP. And I just loved the snippets of Leah in the sneak peek. Julia looked actually really good. She actually looked Leah-ish which I was really happy with. I think she might do a great job with Leah but still in my head, she's not fully Leah but she's okay enough =). Her voice seems a bit weird though but hopefully, she would do Leah justice (in the movies, at least). I can't wait to see the wolf pack! They are LOVE.**


	17. Look After You

**Jacob Black**

I am an idiot. How could I be so stupid? So stupid that I forgot my own beta's birthday? You are an official ass, Jacob. I mean, of course I wasn't expecting Leah to actually throw a party. I mean, she used to be a slight party animal before but that stopped years ago. And now, all of the sudden, she decides to throw a party?

"Well, actually Rachel and Emily insisted on throwing Leah a party. Leah wasn't so thrilled about it but you know the girls" Embry explained, resting against the front passenger seat.

"Leah gave in?" I asked. That so doesn't sound like Leah.

"Well, she wasn't in the mood with fight with them. Sue was very into the whole idea anyways and of course, no one wanted to get on Sue Clearwater's bad side."

"Amen"

"Are we there yet Black?" Paul whined for the tenth time, resting his elbows on the sides of the front seats. I have no idea why I even decided to give this guy a ride.

"I told you, 5 minutes Paul, geez. Why didn't you go with Rachel this afternoon?" I rolled my eyes, taking a turn around the corner.

"Well I'm _sorry_ if I didn't want to help Rachel get stuck blowing balloons for the bitch" Paul scoffed. I elbowed his gut from the side and he fell back on his seat, letting out a small groan and his usual cussing.

"Is Quil already there?" Embry asked, ignoring Paul's potty mouth.

"Yeah, he went there early" I answered.

"Claire?"

"Yup. And he's also helping Emily and Rach with the decorations"

"Ah, but what could Claire possibly be doing at Leah's party? I mean, with Leah and Paul around it would turn into a potty mouth fest"

"Ha Ha funny, Call. I would win anyways" Paul sneered, leaning against Embry's seat.

"Well, I guess if Quil is around, Claire has to be there too, no? And I think Leah wanted Claire to come" Leah always liked Claire. Even though Claire was Emily's niece, Leah felt that Claire was soo different and she reminded her of a more carefree Leah for some reason.

"Wow, Clearwater is inviting kiddies? This party is going to be _soo_ cool" Paul rolled his eyes. "Seriously, this party is going to be boring. I mean, who in the reservation hasn't the bitch barked or bit at?"

"Paul, Leah has friends" Embry stated as I took a turn around the corner and headed down the beach, leading to the Clearwaters' house.

"Really? And I thought I was living under a rock" Paul huffed. To be honest, I was curious too. Leah had lost all contact with her friends back in high school when things got…well, all Sam you could say. Maybe at that time, she was actually acting bitter, not only because of Sam but also maybe at the fact that she didn't have friends; she didn't have…anymore. Well, that's going to change. I think it already has.

"Shut it, Paul" I hissed and he huffed again resting his arms on the sides of the front seats again.

"What I really can't believe is that you guys actually bought something for her. I mean like actual presents!" Embry and I rolled our eyes at that comment. "What did you get? A leash? A bone to gnaw on? Though I think she has our minds to do that"

"Would you like your fat lip gift wrapped, Paul?" I shot back at him and earned a chuckle from Embry. Hey, Rachel may have said no fighting and that one day we will be fa-fam..fam-fami… (See? I can't even say _that_ word and Paul in the same sentence), but doesn't mean that we stop hating each other's guts, right?

"Touchy, Black. Why? Got a soft spot for the harpy now?" Paul snorted and I took another sharp turn at the corner which made Paul almost hit the window. Leah is my beta after all. I'm supposed to get something for her.

"_It's okay Jake. Just remember to get something extra special for me"_ I remembered Leah's words run through my head, with a smile in her voice. Of course, she probably meant it as a joke but I felt like I obligated to get her something. I mean, look where we are now, compared to before. I mean, she is my friend and I do…care about her a lot. And she just seemed so happy and carefree that day that I felt like it would be nice to keep this Leah for as long as I can.

"It doesn't hurt to be nice once in a while, Paul" Embry stated, holding his box for Leah. Paul gazed at Embry before throwing his hands around his neck and making choking sounds. Wow, even I'm more mature than that.

"He's a dick, period."

"A dick that your sister just loves"

"Forced to love. Nothing new for you after all, since that's what you used to do to girls back before Rachel."

"Ha, at least I have been with girls. What about you, Black? Played games with your boys? Sure your dick is functioning right?"

"Guys, stop. We're almost there" Embry decided to intervene. Paul smirked and sunk back at his seat, looking outside of the window. I could see the distant smoke of a possible bonfire by Clearwater property so we were near.

"Oh Jake, how's Nessie been?"

"Huh? Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering since it's been a while since I went over. Plus, you haven't spoken much about her, lately" _I hadn't? Really?_ I slowly placed my hand over my left side of my chest and wondered why it didn't hurt as much it would have to stay away from her. I mean, she is my imprint after all. I could feel small twinges of pain course within me but not enough to make me scream in agony or actually notice. Huh, strange.

"She's been fine, actually. I saw her this morning and she's doing well" I said dropping my hand back to the stirring wheel.

"Why didn't you bring her?"

"Cause Sam still isn't sure with that idea. And besides, she doesn't want to get involved in my 'pack time' and wants me to spend more time with you guys." It was true that Nessie had indeed pushed me into hanging more with the pack, claiming that it is important to not forget that they are family too.

She is right of course and I'm actually really happy that she said that. I don't want to be some total lovesick puppy who would neglect his pack and alpha position because of his imprint. She was even more eager for me to go to Leah's birthday today as well. Secretly, even I was eager to go since it would mean something if I was with Leah on her special day. But I couldn't help to wonder what Embry could have got for Leah. Did she ask for anything or he decided to get out of his own wit?

"Hmm, Embry?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you get for Leah?"

"Oh" Embry realized and gazed down at the red gift wrapped box. "Just a box of Swiss chocolate. My mom had gotten this from a woman she worked for, and I decided that Leah would like it since she likes chocolate a lot."

It is true. Leah always liked chocolate ever since she was young. It was one of her food weaknesses along with cookies. How Embry knew this, I had no idea.

"Is there dark chocolate in it? Leah's favorite is dark chocolate" She claimed dark chocolate as being 'real' chocolate since it has more cocoa in it. She thinks the other 'cheap' chocolates (though she likes some of their tastes) are just a copy and trying to be cool like dark chocolate. She compared them to high school wannabes. Man, that girl has a way with describing things or I just have a lot of free time on my hands.

"Really? Oh man, I don't know if it's there" Embry said, looking at the box. Paul let out a tired huff before leaning forward again, with his attention straight ahead.

"Woah!" he exclaimed and Embry brought his view to the front, while I finally realized where I had reached.

We had reached Clearwater's house but it was packed, with cars and lots and lots of people, surrounding a roaring bonfire. It looked like bonfire nights but this actually looked like those cool college bonfires where there is music and fun. Everyone there were around our age or a bit older; no sight of Sue or any of the elders. I guess this was a real birthday party. Rachel had always been able to make anything into a party. I remember when we were young and Rachel turned Grandma's bingo night into a Hawaiian Luau, oldies style.

"Where the hell did these people come from?" Paul questioned, sounding like he just came out from under a rock as I brought the car to a stop just outside of Clearwater property. We all got out of the car and stood in front of the hood, looking around locating similar faces.

It was kind of hard to find a bunch of Quileutes in an area of Quileutes and some others, probably from around. You would think the height difference would help but, not really. I got a glimpse of Quil running around the bonfire, chasing the small Claire who was wearing a green dress. I think I saw Sam move his gaze from Jared towards us, eyeballing us for a moment before going back to talk to Jared. Why is it every time he looks like he has a problem with me?

"Oh! You made it" we turned to see the small Emily Young, walking towards us, wearing a floral dark dress, hair tied up into a ponytail and a smile plastered on his half scarred face.

"Oh hey Emily, how you've been?" I greeted, as we all bent down to give her a gentle hug.

"What happened? Did you threaten these people to come to this party or something?" Paul snorted and Emily giggled.

"No, if you must know some of these people do know Leah. Plus, Rachel invited half of the guest list and I invited a few" Emily explained, holding her hands in front of his stomach.

"How was the honeymoon, Ems?" Embry asked.

"Oh it was really good. Vancouver was soo beautiful and so was the hotel we stayed in" she beamed, in her new bridal glow.

"And you're already back to being the hostess? Don't you ever have a break?" I asked.

"Well, there always have to be a den mother around for you guys, right? Anyways, I couldn't let Rachel do everything otherwise this party would have gone crazy" Emily giggled.

"And that's a bad thing because…?" Paul smirked and Emily giggled again.

"Emily! We need help with the cake!" We heard Kim yell from inside the house.

"Coming!" Emily yelled back and then turned to the other direction. "Leah! Jacob, Embry and Paul are here!"

"I'll see you guys later" she smiled at us before walking back to the house. "I'm coming! Don't touch anything!"

"Yeah…coming in a minute" I heard not Emily's voice, but another beautiful voice from the other side, from where Emily left. I turned my head just in time to see a girl, who happened to be talking to two other girls, turn around towards my direction, flipping her straight shoulder length hair behind.

I swear my eyes dilated, as this long copper beauty slowly strutted towards us. She was wearing a tight strapless black dress that hugged her athletic shaped body perfectly, and reached to the mid of her long thighs. She ran her long fingers across her bare collar before running her hand through her shiny straight black hair. Her long eyelashes felt like they kept fluttering a thousand times, in slow motion and her pink lips had that glossy shine that there could have been a bonfire on it.

I heard Embry's and Paul's mouth pop open, probably taking in her beauty just as she finally stood in front of us. She stood in front of us, hip propped to one side and hands to the side. My gaze, and I am sure Paul's and Embry's gaze too, again trailed down her tall figure. From her flawless face, down to her smooth neck, down to her perfectly structured-

"Hmm, guys? Eyes over here" she finally spoke, snapping us out of our leering by indicating from her chest up to her brown eyes. A smile danced on my lips and I looked down to her long legs before gazing at her footwear.

"Sneakers…really Lee?" I asked, gazing at her with a smile.

"I don't do heels, anymore. And frankly I don't really need the extra height" she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest which made my smile widen a bit more.

"Damn Clearwater, you clean up good. And when I mean good, I mean damn good" Paul asserted, leering over her again. I felt a small irritation and I narrowed my eyes at him. I guess it's Paul, so that's why I'm irritated so easily.

"Can never say the same to you too, Meraz" she snorted and Paul playfully growled at her. What the hell was that? Is he totally flirting with Leah or what?

"Happy birthday, Leah!" Embry greeted with a smile, and walked over to her, placing his gift her hands, and leaned in and pecked her cheek. And she didn't slap him. She actually smiled and hugged him. I raised my eyebrows accusingly as he held her, tightly by her waist. Man, he finds any way of touching her, doesn't he?

"Thanks Embry and you can let go now" Leah stated, removed her hands from his shoulders and he reluctantly removed his hands from her toned waist.

"Happy birthday, Clearwater" Paul said in a sing songy way before moving close to her, all puckered up.

"Nice try, but save it for Rachel" Leah said, shoving him away. It's a good thing she did because I would have done it for her.

"Leah, Could you come here for a moment?" I heard Rachel call, sticking her head out of the house.

"Yeah…" she answered and then turned her attention back to us. "You guys know what to do and I'll go and see what she wants."

And with that, she turned around and walked towards her house. Not without us getting a good view of her perfect ass, nicely coated by the dress. My head slowly titled to the right side as I reviewed it. Damn, how did I not notice this? I knew Leah was hot but damn is that too good. Just like that time in my garage, with those mini shorts, writhing up her long tough-What the hell are you doing, Jacob?

I straightened my head up only to realize that it wasn't only my head that was titled to the side, looking at Leah's behind. I looked to the sides to see Embry and Paul, both exactly mimicking my previous motion which angered me. Those perverts. I elbowed both of them in the gut and they both groaned, snapping them from their gaze, the same time Leah entered the house.

"You are with my sister" I pointed at Paul.

"And you're a pervert" I pointed at Embry.

"You're the one to talk" Embry huffed under his breath, standing up straight again. Well, I—okay, maybe I had a pervert moment.

"Fine, if you losers excuse me, I need to find my girl" Paul announced.

"I hope you mean my sister" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Of course" Paul huffed and jogged off into the house.

"I'm hungry and the buffet table is calling out to me. Coming Jake?" Embry asked.

"Hmm nah, I'll stay here for a while" I said, leaning against the hood of the car. Embry shrugged and then headed for the large buffet table, throwing some smiles at some of the outside girls checking him out. I rolled my eyes at how he's been spending so much time with Quil that he's beginning to act like him.

I glanced at everyone in the party and they looked like they were having a good time. Seth was by the buffet with Embry while Collin and Brady had their arms around girls, who were flaunting themselves on them. Who knew those two kids would have all those ladies throwing themselves at them? Ah, the advantage of having the wolf gene. There were some people dancing by the bonfire and one of those people was Quil who had Claire on his feet as he held her hands and danced around. Who knew that it would have only taken an imprint on a child to break the playboy Quil?

Some many things just seemed to pass by and I felt like I had missed so much. I remember the first year I imprinted on Nessie, I didn't ever leave Cullen mansion and I had forgotten everyone here. And when I finally got out, I don't know why but I felt oddly free and myself again. Don't get me wrong, I still felt this immense need to go back to Nessie every now and then but now, it just seemed to have toned down a bit now. And I think it's for the best. I put my hand into my leather jacket pocket, to reach for my cell phone just to check up on Nessie but instead, my fingers brush against a rectangular box. I paused and brushed against it again before pulling my hand out. _Nah, she's probably okay_ I told myself, sighing and went back to reminiscing.

I leaned my arms back on the hood and looked up to the night sky. It was actually Leah that made me realize that I do have a life outside the imprint. She was the one to help me realize that I don't have to be the exact copy of the other imprinters in their zombie states. She was the one to make me realize that I'm soo much better than that. But was I?

Sometimes I wonder if I was soo lucky to have her as a beta. Crazy I know but I just can't help but be thankful. If it weren't for Leah, I probably would have been road-kill by now, honestly. And I sometimes feel guilty at the fact that I don't acknowledge what she had done for me. Like that time I raised my hand at her, I wanted to use that very hand and punch myself a million times. That was the worse I've felt and why? Because she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve all of this, actually.

But what I really wonder is why she does this all for me? Why does always help me when I need help? Why does she always pull me up when I'm down? As her duty as my beta? Because the stuff that I do for her, is not only because she's my beta…but because, she's…Leah.

"You decided to wait for me, Alpha?" her voice sliced through my thoughts. I slowly brought my head from the skies down to look at her striking face, gazing straight at me. I slowly pulled myself off the hood to get a full view of her.

"Of course, my loyal beta" I smiled and she had a small grin on her face.

"Thanks but there was no need to wait. I would have come to you anyways"

"Really? Why?" my eyebrows shot up, curious.

"Because I'm clueless who to talk to and you're the only one that I'm not ready to choke yet" she stated and I laughed. That's still Leah alright. The same Leah that half of the time has a scowl on her face, wearing shorts and a loose jersey.

"Well, I'm honored. I truly am but I wanted to wait for you"

"Why?" she asked, placing her hands on his hips.

"To give you this" and I slid my hand back into my jacket pocket and pulled out the blue rectangular box. "I'm not sure its extra special but yeah…"

"Jacob, you didn't have to get me anything" she said.

"I know…" I said and then handed her the box. "But I wanted too."

She grinned before taking the box from me and slowly pulled the cover. The moment the box opened, her expression changed. I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing. She just stared at the box for a minute, before placing her fingertips in the box and pulling out the object the box, between her fingers. Wrapped around her long fingers, was a necklace that I had made for Leah. It had a dark brown chain and had the letters of her name, spelled out on the chain with my small replica of a grey wolf between 'LE' and 'AH'. I wasn't good at this craft stuff but I didn't have enough money to buy something good for Leah so dad suggested this. Leah just stared at the necklace, with an expression I couldn't recognize.

"I know it's a bit lame and all but dad suggested that I do something like this so yeah. I couldn't find anything good to buy for you. I thought I would have asked Alice or something for a gift but I wasn't able to-" my rambling was cut off when I felt something bind around me.

It took a while for me to realize that it was Leah who had thrown her arms around my neck, binding me into a tight hug. That was so not the reaction I was expecting but I wasn't to hell going to object as I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist. She felt so warm and comforting that I hugged her even closer to my body, burying half of my face in her coconut smelling hair.

"Thank you, Jacob. I love it" she whispered against the bottom of my neck, as his hands slowly rubbed my shoulders and her face softly nuzzled against my neck. I felt myself get a bit weak by the knees and I slowly rubbed my cheek against her hair and ear. I don't know how long we stood there hugging but I didn't matter. It felt good…it felt right. I didn't realize that I not only liked her closeness as a beta and friend but I liked the physical closeness too.

After what felt like hours, we both retracted our arms, a bit reluctantly from each other and moved a step away from our bodies. Leah brought her gaze back to the necklace as she held it up to her face. I felt flushed for some reason but shook my head to get the blood running back in my body.

"This is really nice. Is that supposed to me?" Leah asked, pointing at the grey wolf.

"Yeah, well my crappy replica of you."

"Well, it's good enough"

"And I was going to use 'Lee-Lee' instead of 'Leah' but then; I decided that wouldn't have been a good idea"

"Good call" she chuckled and then took hold of my wrist. I looked down at her as she opened my palm and placed the necklace on my palm. Eh, what? Doesn't she understand the whole concept of a present? Or she doesn't want it? She doesn't like it? I looked at her, with eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you going to help me put it on?" she asked, with a small grin.

"Wh-what? You want to wear it?" I asked, bewildered and Leah rolled her eyes.

"No, I want to eat it, and then choke it, which will kill me so that I can haunt you forever" Leah snorted, placing a hand on her hip. "Of course, I want to wear it."

After passing a small moment of shock, a huge smile grew on my face which Leah returned with her gorgeous smile. Then she turned her back to me, flipping a bit of her hair over her shoulder, indicating to me. I moved closer to her, enough to feel our heat bounce of each other. I gently brought my fingertips to the back of her neck, pushing aside her black strands covering her neck, leaving the back of her neck and shoulder blades, free of her hair. A black tattoo outline of a sun with wavy rays was placed on the bottom of her neck and I softly traced it with my index fingertip.

"Tattoo? When did you get this?" I asked her, in a huskier tone than I thought. Her hand which was holding her hair to the side of her shoulder, slowly trailed back to stroke the tattoo but at the same time touched my fingertips. A small heat was felt at the tips of our fingers and there was a small pause before she spoke.

"I got it when I turned 16. I actually I had forgotten I got it."

"Does your mom know?"

"No, dad was the only one I told."

"It's nice but…why a sun? Looked cool?"

"Yeah…and also, everyone needs a sun" she stated, running her fingers through her hair.

"What do you mean?"

"Meaning… that everyone has to have something that makes their day clearer or better; something to shine the light on their gloomy times. Something or _someone_. Like people say that the imprint is their 'sun' but I think that love or that special someone is plainly claimed as the sun. This is supposed to symbolize how I have to be my own sun since I don't have anyone else to depend on. To be my sun; to shine on my gloomy days. Or trying to at least"

Her head sunk down, gazing at the floor beneath her. I looked at her, but she didn't look up. Even though I could only see the back of her head, I could sense her emotions towards this topic. All of the sudden, I slowly bent down to her neck, my lips just few centimeters from the sun, parted as a long hot breath seeped out of my mouth and onto the print. At this, she froze for a moment and the tiny hairs on the back of neck, stood up a bit. I pulled myself up again, but was pretty close to her.

"That's really cool. The tattoo and being your own sun. Shows how strong and special you are" Again with that husky voice. What is wrong with my voice, seriously?

"Thanks…I think" she unsurely said, slightly looking over her shoulder but I could see a small smile on the corners of her lips. I smiled at her before I brought my hands around, bracing the necklace around her neckline. She held the pendants at place as I clasped on the ends together, before releasing it over the sun.

Then I felt it. Someone's eyes burning against my skin. Very uncomfortable feeling or it was intended to make me uncomfortable. I looked up towards the people that happened to be around and only came to meet the dark eyes of Sam Uley. It wasn't like he was looking at us, it was like more like he was stalking us with his eyes.

He first glanced at Leah with soft eyes only to look over at me, with that hard and a bit angered look. What the hell is his problem? If he doesn't like what he sees, then he shouldn't gawk. _There is something called minding your own business, Uley_. Only if he was wolf to know what I wanted to tell him, but I don't think he needed to hear what I was thinking to know what I was thinking. His expression was enough proof.

I decided to forget him and turn my gaze back to my beta, who turned her attention back to me, removing her short hair that was trapped by the chain. She held the wolf pendant between her fingers before looking up with me, with those brown eyes that had a sudden shine to them.

"Thanks Jake, this is really sweet"

"You sure you didn't want anything shiny cause you know-"

"No, this is…perfect" she smiled. "It shows that you actually do care about me. Handmade work is a sign of love after all and this is….just perfect."

I felt small shots of heat rush up to my cheeks at that and my smile grew wider, as I ran my hand through my hair. Why is she doing this? _I mean, Aww shucks Lee_. I mean, I was really glad that she liked my gift and thinks of it as being special because after all I did especially make it for her. Just as I was about to get another nice hug from Leah, my sister's shout had to come in way.

"Leah! Time to cut the cake!" and I looked up to see everyone gathered around a table that had been rolled in by Rachel, with a large cake covered with candles placed on top of it. Claire ran up to us and yanked on Leah's dress.

"Come on Aunt Leah, cake time" she squealed. Leah scooped Claire in her arms and then turned to me.

"Okay, come on Jake" Leah said.

"You go" I stated and she gazed at me with a small smile before walking off with Claire towards the crowd around the cake. I leaned against the car hood again as Leah fought her way through the bunch of people, and reached the small empty spot in front of the large cake.

Again I felt Sam's gaze through me and I looked at him. He has this sort of challenging look on his face and I shot back with a glare of my own. This guy is being plain ridiculous now. I mean, why the hell is he being like this? Doesn't he know that me and Leah are friends? I mean, hello she left him for me.

Okay, not that way but still. She's my beta and I care just enough for her as he does for her, right? Then stop. As if he sensed my words through my glare, he turned his gaze back to Leah and again his face slightly softened at her. I still had my eyes narrowed at him as he started to closer to the crowd…or like to her. How come he just suddenly think that he can just be near her or object to me being with Leah? He's not her boss and like hell, he's mine.

I felt myself shudder with irritation at that attention that he was giving her with his eyes; like he's devouring her with his eyes. I mean, where did this come all of the sudden? Or was it all of the sudden? Did I just start noticing? Well, whatever it was it was sure bugging me. I mean, he…he shouldn't be giving Leah that attention because she doesn't need him and he doesn't need her…right? Just, stop looking at her like that.

I got cut off by the applause by everyone and the howling by some of wolves. I guess they had just finished singing 'Happy Birthday' but I was totally distracted. I turned my attention back to the crowd and back to Leah who was still holding Claire in her arms, clapping and smiling. I felt at ease at her smile and then she whispered something to Claire, before leaning herself and Claire forward to reach the candles.

Just as they were about to blow all 23 candles, Leah's eyes flew up to meet mine and a small smile danced on her lips, before throwing me a wink. I chuckled, and she and Claire blew a gust of air towards the candles, extinguishing the light. There was another applause which I joined in as well, and then Leah kissed Claire's cheek and handed her to Quil, before taking hold of the knife and cutting the massive cake.

Then Leah got hold of a piece of the cake covered with icing and started to call out to some of the pack members. First she called on Seth, and of course, she smashed half the cake on his mouth before giving him an actual bite and hug. Then she fed Claire a small part of the icing on the cake before feeding Quil who then leaned in to whisper something at her, and she jerked him away, chuckling (he probably said something perverted about cake or something). She purposely put a bit of the icing on Rachel's nose before feeding her and then moved on to Embry who took a big bite and teasingly bit her fingers. During each of these bites, she seemed so happy and so free in way. It felt so nice to see her actually enjoy her life; to see her happy; to see her as the old Leah. Leah took another piece of the cake in her hand and looked around for anyone else she wanted to feed, until her gaze came to me and a small smirk danced on her lips.

"Yo alpha, come on here" she called out, waving at me to come over. Everyone's gaze moved to me instantly which made me a bit uncomfortable. But then I saw Sam's hard gaze, I suddenly had this sudden strength or new feeling that built in me which made me walk towards Leah, with a determined smile.

I came and stood next to Leah as she turned to me with the piece of cake. Everyone gazed at us as I leaned in to take a bite but of course, Leah moved her hand away from my mouth. I went in again but she kept teasing. Everyone including myself chuckled before Leah decided to give in and offer the cake. I took in the whole chocolate cake into my mouth as her fingers deposited between my lips. I chewed on my piece as she smiled, with her fingers still covered with the icing and everyone clapped. I smiled, swallowing the cake down and looked to see Sam's sort of disapproving look which made me smile even more.

Suddenly an impulse shot through me and I couldn't stop myself (wasn't sure if I wanted to actually). As Leah's messy hand was about to drop, I caught hold of her wrist and she snapped her head at me, confused. Slowly everyone around us started to take notice as I slowly brought her hand up to my face again. I saw her index finger which was completely covered in icing and brought it closer to my lips, and without warning, I brought my mouth around her finger, softly sucking off the icing as lips trailed up the finger.

I saw not only Leah's eyes dilate to double its size but Sam's, Emily's Rachel's, Embry's and the other fifty people that were around. Quil's face looked excited shock before a huge conceited grin plastered itself on his face. My eyes were kept on Leah the whole time as I removed my lips away from her finger and Collin and Brady started cheering. Everyone broke to applause and 'woohoos' as I released Leah's hand and I didn't even want to see how priceless Sam's face would be looking right now. I had a small sheepish grin on my face while I saw Leah's cheeks turn a bit red, as she tried to smile. That was sure was finger licking good.

* * *

Sitting on a bench, I wiped my mouth with a napkin after Leah decided to feed me again, but not only my mouth but my whole face too. Don't worry, I got her good too. Seth though got the worse of the icing throws. He was inside right now, washing up with Quil, who had cake stuffed down his shirt by Claire. This turned out to be much fun than I thought.

"Hey…." I looked up to see a smiling Leah, holding two plates of food in her hands. "Mind if you move over?"

"Sure as long as one of those plates is for me" I said.

"Ha, sure sure" she said my line and then sat down next to me, placing the plates to the other side of her. I tossed the napkin to the side as she turned to me, biting into a bun.

"Are you enjoying the night?" I asked her.

"Surprisingly, yeah. I forgot how fun birthdays were, if you actually planned them and all."

"Good to know."

"Are you having fun?"

"Actually, yeah I am. It feels like nice to be with pack again and it's nice to have a social life again"

"Same here, dude" she chuckled, finishing off her bun.

"Leah, you seem…never mind" I said, and looked to the side. She turned to me again.

"What?" she asked and I gazed at her again, to see the shine in her eyes again.

"You've been…a lot happier lately"

"Yeah, it's something I'm trying. Its calling getting a life and moving on. You must have heard of it"

"I think I may have come across it" I chuckled.

"I just suddenly realized that I had just wasted my time sulking over something that was never mine or never could be mine. I just realized that I tossed everything away and didn't do anything to get it back. I just sat and bitched about it…" she gazed at me. "I don't want to be led on anymore"

Even though she didn't mean it towards me, I felt like I made it mean it towards me. Weird I know but it just felt like that.

"So, this is my new-ish beginning if you will. I'm going to be the old Leah again. No, screw this new and old Leah business. I just want to be…Leah" she said, with a smile which I returned. That's what I wanted to hear. That's what I loved about Leah at times is that she's determined and always trying. One of things I love about her.

I saw a small smudge of icing on the corner of her smile and slowly reached to wipe it. She looked a bit taken back but as soon as my thumb touched her skin, she seemed to calm down. I felt her light gaze on me as I slowly gaze at my thumb slowly rub the icing clean and then dropped my thumb down and looked at her brown eyes.

"That's great, Lee. It's really is and you deserve it" I finally spoke, truthfully. Her smile grew a bit wider and then placed her hand on top of mine. I looked down at our hands and felt this happiness build in me and looked at her, with a smile on my face. This felt soo good. How does she do this? How come this happens? How come all of the sudden I like being near soo close to her? How come I really love how she smiles? All I wanted was to just sit and talk to Leah right now, and not care of the others. Just me and her. Beta to Alpha. Friend to Friend. Jacob to Leah.

"Leah…" Emily interrupted my moment and stood in front of us, gazing at both me and Leah. "Oh sorry, did I disrupt something?"

_Yes, I think_. "No, its okay, Emily what is it?" Leah responded.

"Come here, there is someone I want you to meet. A friend of Rachel's" Emily said, with this slight sinister look and took hold of Leah's hand and pulled her up. Leah looked at me with an apologetic and a bit annoyed look, and with small smile, got dragged off by Emily. I felt the coldness set in as her warmth disappeared from around me. I sighed and looked up at the sky again.

"Yo Black, that was something with the icing and Leah" Oh man, not him again. I took enough of him in the car, why now again? I groaned and looked at Paul, straggled on the bench, eating a hotdog.

"That was something alright. I think I should try it sometime…with Rachel" Paul suggested, seductively. Oh god, I think I'm about to hurl.

"Aww Paul, too much information" I crunched up myself and turned my gaze from him only to see Leah, standing about 10 feet from the bonfire with some guy. A guy. What the hell? Wasn't she with Emily just a minute ago? To go see a friend of…oh my god, the friend was guy? What the hell did I just miss?

"Err Paul…who's that?" I nudged Paul, still eyes on the guy chatting up to Leah.

"Who's who?" he asked, clueless.

"Over there, genius" I nudged him again and pointed to the guy again, who was I think complimenting Leah and she just replied with a small smile.

"Oh, I don't know. I think he's the guy that Rachel and Emily were discussing today in the morning" he said vaguely, taking another bite of the hotdog.

"Guy? Discussing what?"

"Oh some guy they wanted to set up for Leah" Jerk-face future brother-in-law say what?

"What?"

"Yeah, ever since Leah stated that she wanted to get back in the game, Emily and Rachel have been dying to hook Leah up with someone" Paul blabbed. No way…Leah actually wanted to date? For real? Since when? Why didn't she say anything?

"What's his name?"

"Hmm…was it Evan, Ian, Tristan? No wrong one….Ethan! That was it. Ethan, seriously what name is that?" Paul huffed.

_Ethan huh?_ I viewed him fully. He had short dirty blonde hair and was about Leah's height. Was built but of course not as built as us. He was wearing dark jeans and black full sleeves. Hmm…he's okay looking, I mean nothing great. I saw Sam glancing at them every now and then, clearly not liking the guy. Of course Sam wouldn't like any guy with Leah but I also couldn't help but feel irritated at this guy. I mean he just seemed soo…soo…I don't know. Just not for Leah.

I watched that dude move a bit closer towards Leah as she looked like she was trying to keep her distance. Leah had a small weak smile on her face as she started to sway a bit and play with her hair strands. Clear signs that she's uncomfortable.

"Look, she's not interested. She wants him to back off" I said it out loud to Paul.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Cause she normally starts to sway a bit and play with her hair when she's uncomfortable and asking for help" I plainly stated.

"Dude, you've been spending way too much time with her to know that" Paul snorted, getting another hotdog from Leah's plate that she didn't eat. What? I just notice the small things about her like when's she annoyed a bit, her mouth grows small or when she feels emotional or something, she would rub her neck or rub her lips together. But apparently 'Ethan' didn't see those signs and was still moving closer to her. What the hell? I decided to tune myself into the conversation.

"You know that you're really pretty, Leah" he spoke to her, and slid his hand up her arm. _Pretty? Just pretty? That fucker is crazy and whoa, what does he think he's doing?_

"Hmm, thanks and you're not so bad looking yourself" Leah said, a bit distracted with his hand sliding up her arm. _Not bad looking? Psh, I've seen better. There is better._

"You know, me and you could definitely have some good chemistry" he huskily suggested, moving closer to her and sliding his other hand on her other arm. _Can't this guy keep his hands to himself?_ I felt myself tense a bit, not even paying attention to what Paul was muttering.

'Hmm, sure…" she started to get a bit uncomfortable and gently shrugged herself away from his hands. "Listen, Ethan is it? I barely know you."

"Well, let's get to know each other better then. I've heard that you're a bit of a party animal"

"Used to, a bit."

"Well, I want to revive her again" he whispered hoarsely, putting one hand to hold her waist. _What the fuck does he think he's doing? Wait, why isn't Leah doing anything? Why isn't she fully stopping him?_

"Don't…" she softly whispered, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw. His other hand then brushed her hair aside to view her collar to him. I felt myself shake a bit as my fists slowly curled up.

"Come on, let's have a little fun. After all, the birthday girl deserves the best…" he smirked and then just as he slowly leaned in to plant his lips on her collar, I instantly stood up, which Paul suddenly noticed. As he closed in on her bare collar, I trotted towards them and pulled him away from her, and shoved him away before standing in front of Leah, protectively. He stumbled a few feet away from Leah and I heard Leah mumble, confused.

"J-Jac-Jacob?" she mumbled and that jerk caught his balance and turned to me, with an angered and annoyed look. Everyone around us finally caught on what had just happened as the jerk slowly strolled a few steps towards me. I raised my slight shaking hand at him and kept my eyes at a glare at him.

"Don't you dare touch her" I snarled each word so that it would get into his thick skull. He huffed and Leah came in front of me, bewildered.

"What the hell, Jake?" she asked, perplexed and a bit annoying too. _What? Did she want him to be touching her like that? To be…kissing her like that?_

"Who the hell is this thug?" 'Ethan' scoffed, annoyed. Just as I was about to growl at that asshole, Leah turned and walked to him.

"This _thug_ happens to be my friend" she announced exasperatedly, gesturing back at me. The wolves started to come closer to me and Leah, probably to hold me back or something.

"Really? Well what is his problem? Didn't get lucky and is trying to ruin my luck?" he snorted, digging his hands in his pockets.

"Your luck? Your luck can go shove-" I scowled, moving towards him, ready to attack when Leah turned to face me, holding me back.

"Jake, stop!" she commanded and I stopped struggling as I brought my eyes to meet her glare.

"Yeah, _Jake_ stop. You had your chance with her already, give me my chance now" I saw Leah's expression change from anger to confused, furrowing her eyebrows before turning to look at him.

"What?" she questioned. _That guy is asking for it now._

"Oh come on babe, anyone wearing that dress is asking for it…" he snorted and started leering Leah. "…But I wouldn't mind tapping that since you're so worth it."

Even though Leah was facing him, by the look of her body, I could tell that she was shocked, violated and a bit hurt. I could see how the wolves' eyes grew and the atmosphere became a lot more intense. _That was it!_ No one does that to Leah and gets away with it. _How dare that little fucker say that?_ Use her? _USE HER?_

"Excuse me…" I said, pushing Leah to the side. She, still in her shocked state shuffled to the side so that I was directly in front of 'Ethan'. And instantly my fist made contact with his face, completely breaking his nose with the hardest punch I could throw.

He let out a sharp yell before stumbling a few steps and landing flat on the floor hard, clutching his nose. Sharp gasps emerged from all around me, including one from Leah who threw her hand over her mouth. My teeth and fists were clenched the entire time, glaring at that piece of shit; even when Seth and Quil (holding Claire) came running out, after hearing the fucker scream. I was ready to finish him. All I could see was red and I am soo going to make him pay for planning on using Leah. Just as I was about to finish the guy, as I raised my fist up, ready to pound the living daylights out of him, I heard footsteps run towards me and only stop 6 feet away from me.

"Jacob, STOP!" Sam commanded, and I looked up to him, with Jared and Paul by his sides. He was probably worried that I would phase right here or make a scene in front of these people. And he wouldn't like that, being La Push's king and all, right? What, he just suddenly forgot what that fucker said and is back on my case now, huh?

I slowly dropped my hand down to my side, since Jared and Paul's shocked faces gave in. I could see from the corner of my eyes, Quil holding tightly onto Claire who was shivering a bit; Embry and Seth had moved closer to me, trying to keep me calm; Emily and Rachel had their hands around their mouths with wide eyes; and the rest were of course, beyond terrified. I looked back at Sam and saw the seriousness in his eyes as well as a smidge of hatred there as well. I think that was meant for the fucker and myself.

I let out a small growl before withdrawing, and turning to face a baffled Leah. I took hold of her wrist and stormed past the crowd, holding on to her.

"Jake, wh-what the hell was…where are we-" she tried to say, irritated as I slowly pulled her further away from the bonfire with people, who watched us leave the scene.

* * *

I didn't know where else to end up to but First Beach. We walked and walked. Well, Leah was dragged and dragged, and she hadn't said anything to me since we were about 20 feet away from her house. I just heard her huff a couple of times as I walked down First Beach.

"You can stop now, Jake" she hissed, trying to hold her weight back so that I would slow down. I decided that we were far enough anyways so I let her hand loose, but didn't turn to look at her. I was planted on my spot, facing the other side of the beach while Leah was behind me, possibly glowering at me.

"Jacob, what. The. Hell. Was that?" she hissed, angrily. I took in a few calming breaths so that I could stop shaking and talk to her.

"What the hell was going through your mind?" she asked, fuming. I have no clue but she's actually questioning my action? _My mind? It's my mind she's talking about?_

"What was going through _your_ mind?" I asked, roughly with eyes closed.

"What do you mean?" Leah yelled.

"I mean what was going through your mind when he kept touching you!" I roared back, finally turning abruptly to see her face. The water and the sky made everything look blue including her glowing face. She looked taken back at my statement.

"What—how do you kn-?"

"Oh come Leah, don't act dumb with me"

"Were you spying on us or something?" she shouted and I huffed.

"Don't huff at me! Anyways, it wasn't any of your goddamn business!" she snarled. That comment made me tense up again. I felt my fists clench again.

"None of my business? None of my goddamn business? Of course it is my business, Leah!"

"No, IT'S NOT!"

"Yes, it is! I mean, did you not hear what that jerk just said now?"

"Well...! I…I could have handled it!"

"Sure you could! You did such a _wonderful_ job keeping him from putting his grubby hands on you when you didn't want him to!" I snorted and she took a step towards me, mouth agape before snapping it shut, and eyes like daggers at me.

"Shut the fuck up, Black! It's still not job come to save me or anything! I don't need your help!"

"The hell you do!"

"Look, I don't even know why you care! You don't have to protect me! Why are you acting like you're protecting me?"

"You are seriously asking that question?"

"Yes, I am!"

"Cau-Cause… you-you're not… pretty-" I struggled to find the right words, with all this emotion building within me.

"Oh well, I'm not pretty, thanks a lot!"

"No! I me-mean that your—not pretty, enough—" I stumbled in my words, clutching my head.

"Not pretty enough? Well, I'm sorry that I'm not as pretty as your _gorgeous_ Bella!" she seemed to get even angrier and annoyed with whatever I tried to say.

"No, no! You do-don't understand—"

"Oh I don't understand now? Well, I'm sorry Jake that I seem so pathetic that no guys are allowed to come near me. This is what you want right? Righ-" I caught hold off her shoulders and brought her to face me, eye to eye.

"Cause you're fucking GORGEOUS, LEAH!" I yelled at her and she stared at me confused. "You're not just pretty like that jerk says! You're stunning, beautiful, ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!"

Her mouth hung open a bit as I slowly slid my hands down her arms, sighing and looking back at her glowing blue shaded face.

"Don't you get it, Lee? Guys will use that about you. They won't want to be with you because you're funny, strong and special; with what's good in you, within. They don't care about that. They don't care about the good part of you, excluding your beauty. They would use you just to get a little _something_ _something_, like that shallow jerk…" my voice started to soften and she just gazed at me, completely drowned out of anger or any emotion, but shock.

"And I couldn't stand there and watch him use you like that, Lee. You mean more to me than you think" I whispered, stroking her cheek as her eyes widened a bit more for a second. I moved closer to her, resting my lips on the top of her forehead and pulling her closer to my body.

"I couldn't let you go with him. I just couldn't…" I whispered against her forehead, lightly holding the sides of her waist. The breeze blew around us as we stood there for a while. I felt her heartbeat increase against my chest as I slowly inhaled her scent again. This felt good again. How come I just am trying to get near her these days? It's like I need her around to keep me sane, somehow. What happened right now wasn't exactly sanity but that guy was asking for it. Using _my_ Leah. She's not his and never will be and-wait, did I say…what I think I said?

"…J-Ja-Jake?" she finally stuttered and felt her move. She brought her face up and our eyes met. It shined again, but due to the reflection the moon's rays and they were asking questions.

Questions as to what is going on? Or what is this? What does this mean? What am I doing?

What was my intention? What is it that I feel? Why do I feel the way I do?

Is this right? Isn't this wrong?

_Wrong…_That's when I felt the small courses of pain run through my chest. Not too hurtful still but as if to remind me of something…or _someone._

That startled me a bit. I didn't have any of those answers because I didn't see those questions even though there were there within me, deep within. I instantly dropped my hands to my sides and moved back a bit, astounded and confused. Leah probably mimicked my exact expression but she didn't say another word. She just waited for me to speak. I felt like I couldn't, because I was just…couldn't think right.

"I…I think I have to g-go" I finally was able to say, trying to brush away some emotions that rushed to the surface. She just merely nodded, rubbing her arms.

"See you around…Lee" I said and before getting any sort of response from her, I turned away and jogged off towards where the forest met the road. I could feel the warmth of her slowly disappear from me again, as the cool breeze smashed against my body.

This was bizarre. No, beyond bizarre.

I mean, what was that?

Those questions in Leah's eyes were running through my head, asking me; taunting me.

Why…why did I do what I did? To protect Leah of course.

But what did I just do right now? What…what was that? With Leah? On the party? Just now? Or most importantly…

I placed my hand on my chest again as it started to beat faster, thinking about those questions and something else. Thinking about the feelings, about the emotions, about Leah, at that moment…

_What was I going to do?_

* * *

***comes from under a rock* OMG! LIFE FINALLY! HALLEUJAH! I'm again, sorry, sorry, and sorry! I have been crazy and I'm double crazy now and going to stay this way till the ends of June. FAILURE, MUCH? And it's worse for me, because I get distracted soo easily. UNFORTUNETELY, Fanfiction is a distraction so I'm trying to lay off for a while. I hope you understand )':**

**Anyways, I decided to give you guys this chapter, after a long wait. And I hope you liked it. Leah and Jacob. AHHHHHH! Now it's Jake's time to face the music =DD Leah is indeed moving on from what she claims as her 'never before life' and by getting back in the field is one of her steps. Of course, that didn't work out but Yay JACOB! XDD The end again, became very vague for me but I think it reflects how Jacob's thoughts are also pretty vague so yeah. **

**REVIEWS ARE AWESOME AND SO ARE, IF YOU DO REVIEW ;DDD**


	18. To Need Somebody

**Leah Clearwater**

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm soo soo sorry! I really am sorry!" her voice whined through the phone. I rolled my eyes at how many times she must have said 'sorry' within one sentence. She called me in this morning to apologize for yesterday. But she was hardly at fault.

"Rachel, calm down…" I sighed, walking down the stairs with just a loose jersey and track shorts on. "I told you, it's not your fault."

"Of course it's my fault! I'm an idiot!"

"No you're---wait, let me think about that" I chuckled.

"…Shut up!"

"Oh, so it's your fault and you tell me to shut up?"

"What, NO! Sorry Leah! I'm sorry!"

"Okay, I was joking" I chuckled again, walking around the kitchen, looking for food in the cabinets.

"Well, that was mean joke" she huffed.

"I know"

"But seriously, I'm gonna choke Chris to death for bringing that kind of guy"

"He wasn't a friend of yours?"

"Oh god no! What a fricking douche! I'm soo glad that my brother happened to be there, otherwise god knows what could have happened"

"Yeah…" I whispered and set my cereal box on the counter.

"Seriously I'm happy that I have Jake as a brother. He looked like he was going to drill that guy to the ground. He should have, you know?"

"Mhmm…" I wasn't fully listening to Rachel talk ever since she mentioned Jake's name. By mentioning Jake's name, she triggered my thoughts to what happened after Jake dragged me to the beach. What the hell was that? It felt so weird and so…I felt so confused. Just the way he looked at me, the way he reacted, and the way he held me…I felt my heart was going to fall out. _LEAH! STOP! Snap out of it!_

"Oh by the way, what happened with you and Jacob after you left? Where did you guys go? What happened?" her voice finally brought me back. I shook my head of some of my thoughts and got hold of her conversation again.

"Oh…I honestly don't know…" It was true. I didn't know what happened myself, let alone tell Rachel anything. That moment on the beach felt like it lasted forever. I felt like I was going to die, right then and there. I don't know but all I knew was that nearly both of us stopped breathing. That's not normal is it?

"You don't know? Where did you guys go?" she questioned.

"He took to me to the beach and…." Think of something else that doesn't imply at the fact that you felt like you're stomach was going to explode. _Leah, you need to pull yourself together!_ "…he just…left"

"He left? What the hell?"

"My thoughts, exact" I sighed, opening the fridge and getting the carton of milk out. Everything then was 'what the hell'.

"That's…weird"

"Eh, I'm over it" I shrugged, pouring the milk into the bowl. Or am I? I mean, sure there are a lot of these doubts that I have but I'm not going to make them bother me, right?

"Well, I guess that set up was a total failure. Emily thought you both did look good together…" Rachel sighed. Emily thought that I was good with…what's his name? I'll label him as Jerk-face. Emily thought that I looked good with Jerk-face? Why does that anger me? Could it anger me because my so-called-cousin thought that I would be perfect with the jerk who tried to use me, so that there would be no problem between her and _her_ Sam?

_Eh…don't think so_.

"Ehh, well I didn't feel anything with him. Not saying just because he's an asshole but even talking to him, nothing was there" I admitted, putting the milk carton back into the fridge.

"Well don't worry! I'll find you the perfect guy this time and not let some loser do it for me"

"Nah, I don't think that's going to help"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess me getting back in 'the field' wasn't such a smart idea" I sighed, walking back to my bowl and setting it on the table. Who was I kidding? I mean, it's been forever since I was on the field. I was on the field only for a limited time anyways before Mr. Uley made his entrance.

"You can't be serious"

"I guess, I kind of am"

"What happened to the Leah Clearwater? The kick ass bitch that used to make boys fall on their knees at her mercy?" Rachel announced and I chuckled. Man, was that a long time ago.

"She grew old and retired…years ago if you remember" _Isn't it ironic though that I actually don't age?_

"Well, bring her back and make those gorgeous legs function again. It's time that she went back to work again"

"We're talking about dating right?" I joked, pulling out my chair and sitting down.

"No duh" Rachel huffed and most probably rolled her eyes.

"But seriously Rachel, don't you think it's been too long?" I twirled the spoon between my fingers.

"Okay number one; that's the point. It's been too long since you've been with a _real_ man. And number two; it's never too late to get back. I mean, have you seen you?"

"Hmm, not sure…I think I saw me vaguely before but don't think my memory goes that far" I snorted, putting a spoon of cereal in my mouth.

"Don't smart mouth with me. You know what I mean. Anyways, do you want me to get a guy for you or not?" Rachel scowled, annoyingly at me. I thought about it for moment. I mean, she's right that I've been alone way too long but…I've kind of gotten used to it.

I mean, I don't even think I remember the last time I even thought about a gu--_You idiot, what is wrong with you? Of course you did! Hello, Jacob?_ Psh, if you call Jacob a guy. _Well, he is. Have you seen his body and height? Have you never stared at your alpha?_ Well, I guess he's no longer the same boy as before. I mean, I have to admit that he's definitely pushed his way up my hot—_wait, what is this? Why the fuck are you thinking about Jacob?_

My consciences are so not sorted. One moment they are making me avoid Jacob and the next, they are pushing me towards him. What is wrong with this mind of mine?

I almost didn't recollect Rachel on the phone and Seth skipping, down the stairs wearing shorts and an unzipped hoodie exposing his bare chest. Okay girl shake your head off those Ja—_those_ thoughts.

"Morning Lee" Seth greeted, getting a juice box from the fridge.

"Yo Sethy" still holding the phone against my ear, almost tuning out Rachel's desperate yells for me to hear her.

"Oh Leah, I need to tell you something" he said, after taking a long slurp from the orange juice box.

"Love to hear it Seth but on the phone here, so mind getting me the newspaper?"

"But I really---"

"Newspaper, Seth. You know the thing you read in the morning to know what happens around?"

"I know what a newspaper is, Lee—"

"Good, then get it" I said before getting back to the phone. Seth rolled his eyes and muttered something before leaving the kitchen, to fetch my newspaper.

"Yo Leah? Are you listening to me?" Rachel yelled on the phone.

"Yeah! I heard you. Listen Rach, I don't think you finding me a guy will help" I sighed, playing with my cereal.

"Why not? Look, I won't let Emily in on it if it makes you feel better" she suggested.

"This isn't about Emily" For once, it wasn't about her.

"Then what is it?" _Oh I don't know, you're so called brother who for some reason won't get out of my mind, mainly because he doesn't let me._ That…that idiot.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just not lucky with guys" Psh, no shit.

"Oh come on, Leah…"

"Look Rach, thanks but I don't know if I'm ready or will be able to return to 'the field'"

"WOAH! Leah! Leah, Get out her right now!" I heard Seth yell from outside, in ecstasy.

"Look Rach, I'll talk to you later, kay? The dork is yelling" I said.

"Fine, see you around Leah" she sighed.

"Later Rach" and I hung up.

"Leah!" Seth yelled again from outside. I huffed and got up from my seat.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. What did he want?

"Seriously Seth, can't you do one thing right? All I asked was for newspaper and you can't even do that by yourself without me com---" I groaned before stepping off the porch and got a good view of what was in front of me. In the front of driveway, Seth stood about 12 feet away from a shiny chocolate colored Range Rover Sport with a giant ass red bow tied around it. Oh my god, are-are they sure they got the right place?

"What is this?" I asked, baffled as I slowly walked towards the four wheel.

"A car!" Seth exclaimed.

"No shit, bright-ass" I rolled my eyes. "I mean, who's it for?"

"For you, smart-ass" Seth mimicked my exact mannerism. "It's your birthday present"

"Yeah but from who—" and then that scent around the car, caught my nostrils. The faint sweet smell. Figured, I mean who else would have the money to buy these types of cars? I mean sure a Range Rover is no Ferrari but it is pretty fancy compared to the other junk most people ride around La Push. I noticed a small note underneath the wiper blades and slowly pulled it out.

_Hey mutt,_

_I guess this is our way of saying happy birthday. So there I said it. I know you would probably want to crush this car into a million pieces because you probably don't 'accept' presents from leeches or you don't need a car. But that's a lie. You do need a car and it would be nice for you to actually come to our house, normally and not covered in mud and torn clothing. Esme and Alice would get into a huge frenzy. We thought to get you jewelry or something but then we were reminded you're not totally that kind of girl. So hope to see you soon._

_From the Cullens but written by Rosalie._

I huffed at the note before crumpling it up. In a way, this was actually nice. I mean, I guess there are some benefits of having rich bloodsucking friends. Yes, I used the term 'friends' because now it just seems ridiculous to call them 'mortal enemies' after everything that has happened.

"Woah, nice ride…" a girl's voice spoke and I can tell you this, it wasn't mine. I turned around to see a girl slowly walking towards our house.

She was pretty petite looking, around 5'5 and had auburn curls tied up into a messy ponytail. She was wearing a blue v-neck sleeveless shirt and dark denim jeans, with red heels. She looked a bit like Nessie except was shorter, a bit tanner and had more reddish-auburn curls. I didn't fully register till she walked towards Seth, and Seth put his arm around her tiny waist, that he almost had to bend down to reach.

"Seth, is this yours? Cause if it is, mind taking me for a ride?" she suggested, placing her hand on his chest.

"Oh baby, you're early" Seth replied to her. _Baby?_ Okay what the hell did I miss? I just stood about 7 feet from them, staring at them with a bewildered expression.

"Hmm, what's going on?" I asked, after finally finding my voice.

"Oh right, this is what I wanted to tell you, Lee" Seth said after he realized I was still around.

"Oh! Hi Leah, it's nice to finally meet you" the girl said before walking to me and sticking her hand out at me, with a wide smile. I unsurely shook it, with a weird smile on my face.

"Same here but just one question….who are you?"

"My name's Jenna Spencer" she answered, dropping her hand to her side. Jenna? Jenna, that name does sound familiar.

"Jenna is…" Seth decided to state as he walked towards Jenna and wrapped his arm around her waist again. "Jenna is my girlfriend."

"Oh…Oh!" I suddenly realized. Right, Seth's non-imprintee girlfriend. The non-imprintee girlfriend of my non-imprinted wolf brother. Well, this is definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

"So…" I decided to start, twirling my mug of coffee on the table. Jenna, sitting opposite me brought her mug down from her lips, setting it back to the table and glancing at me. It had been about half an hour after our encounter, 20 minutes since Seth had to leave for pack stuff (which she didn't know of, of course) and it had been 15 minutes since either of us had spoken. It's weird, because she seemed like a talker or is she the silent one in the couple?

"Tell me about yourself, Jenny" I spoke.

"Jenna" she corrected me.

"Right" _Smooth Leah, way to make a good impression to your brother's girlfriend_.

"Well…" she sat up straight with a smile widening on her face. "I'm actually from Nashville, but I have been living with my aunt and uncle, and grandparents for a few months now. Some issues at home and my parents decided it was best if I stayed here. I actually used to live in La Push"

"Really? When?" I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

"For about 6 years, a long time ago…" she said and then looked down at her fingers. "Actually, that's how I met Seth."

"Oh…" I said, and she seemed to have more to say.

"Yeah, we were in grade 1 and 2 together" she said, and a streak of red appeared across her face.

"Jenna…did you like Seth then also?" I asked, curiously. She looked up with me, fully flushed and biting her lip.

"…Wait, did you…have you liked him…since…then?" I asked. When she slowly nodded, my eyes widened and put my cup back on the table.

"Woah, that's-that's long…really long" I stated, astounded.

"I kn-know…and you probably think that I'm crazy for liking him for soo long but…there's just something about him, you know" she sighed, almost dream-like. It's a bit weird to see this girl fall head over heels for my baby brother yet at the same time I could understand how she's feeling.

"I mean, he's sweet and fun loving and caring…" she continued, with a sparkle in her eyes.

"I know…" I agreed, knowing my brother pretty well.

"And not to mention, that he has gone hot! I mean, his body is…wow!" she exclaimed with a wide smile and almost as a red as tomato.

"Hmm…I can't really agree on that…because he's the brother and all"

"Oh, of course! I'm just stating" she giggled a bit nervously and took another sip from her mug.

"So hmm…when did you and Seth meet again?"

"Oh we met like a few weeks ago, or was it a month or something? Anyways, I was walking around the Green Park and well, I literally ran into Seth. I of course recognized him immediately but he didn't remember me…well. But it was a long time ago and I wasn't exactly the definition of 'attractive' back then. I mean with glasses, braces and almost breaking the weighting scale isn't exactly a guy's dream. But when I let him recall, he seemed pretty nice and looked hot since he was shirtless at that time, which I'm not complaining about. And he just stayed with me for what felt like days and talked and well, here we are!"

_Woah, definitely a talker_. But I couldn't help to notice the sparkle as she reminisced everything that had to do with Seth. I would think this girl is crazy for falling hard but…I knew I would be kidding myself if I hadn't recognized that sparkle.

"Hmm Leah…?"

"Huh? Yeah?" I turned to her, bringing the mug back to my lips.

"You think I'm crazy for liking Seth like this right?"

"What? No, not really. Just…kind of, wasn't aware of this."

"I know it's just that... Seth makes me feel so…amazing. I just feel he's not like other guys."

_You got that right_ I thought slowly slurping the hot coffee.

"It's just that…I know we've only been dating for a few weeks now but…I want it to work, you know?"

"…not really" I said, against the mug.

"Meaning I want this to last for a long time…"

I paused, my eyes at her just taking in her expression. Damn, she was serious. And I so noticed that seriousness of wanting to be with someone. Believe me, I do.

"Oh…" was all I could say, before feeling the heat almost burn against my lip. I quickly set the mug down and licked my bottom lip.

"I know it's weird for me to tell this to you since you're Seth's sister and all but…I don't know. Even if I just have like 5 minutes with him, I would take it. I want it to last long but even if it doesn't…which I don't want to think about, I'll still have that memory of him. Before Seth barely knew me, and now…he does" she exclaimed with a weak smile and I could tell that she was hurting a bit.

"Hmm…Jenna, Seth likes you and not because you've become prettier or hit puberty. It's mainly because that you're… you, and I can clearly see what he liked about you."

"Really?" she asked with delight, with that sparkle again. Man, dress her up in a green dress with wings and call her Tinkerbell.

"Yeah…of course" I smiled and she returned it. Just on cue, Seth came into the kitchen, zipping up his hoodie to cover his bare chest.

"Well, I was able to get Embry away from his mom so we can go now, Jenna" Seth announced. When he meant 'getting Embry from his mom', is making sure his mom doesn't find out that he snuck out again for patrol. It's kind of sad that Embry's mom isn't aware of Embry's situation.

"Oh okay, can I freshen up first? Where's the bathroom?" she asked, getting up and straightening her shirt.

"Down, and to your right" I said.

"Okay, thanks" she said, smiling and left the kitchen. I just couldn't help to feel a bit sorry for her. I mean, she really likes Seth and what if…things don't work out. That's going to be pretty ugly.

"So, what did you girls talk about?" Seth asked, sliding down on the stair and taking a biscuit from the plate in front of him.

"Hmm, just the usual" I said, looking down at my cup.

"What do you think about her?" Seth asked, popping the biscuit in his mouth.

"She's nice and I can see what you liked about her. She's cool" I said, looking at him with a small smile. "Mom will really like her. You should introduce her to mom."

Seth stopped chomping on the biscuit and looked at me, a bit taken back. Oh no, this was what I was scared of. I felt my small smile slowly start to drop as Seth tried to regain his voice.

"Wh-why would I take her to see mom? I mean, she's met you…isn't that enough?" he chuckled, a bit nervously. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, gripping onto the mug. Was, he already turning against everything he had said before to me? About dating normally or imprinting?

"Seth…please tell me, you like her" I spoke, gripping onto the cup tighter. I don't know why I was getting all tense but somehow I felt like I had to know or the answers mattered to me just as much it would have to Jenna.

"What? Of course I do. She's great, really…" he exclaimed but then looked down. "…but…"

"But…?" I waited.

"I…I just don't know…how much I do like her" Seth confessed, looking at with hesitance in his eyes. I released my grip off the mug, in order not to break it and leaned on the table, gazing at Seth, stunned.

"But Seth…what about all the stuff you said? That you care about her enough to protect her? She's great and all?"

"She is great and I do care about her but…sometimes I think if it's the right thing that I'm doing. I mean…" Seth bit his lip and looked down again and I just waited for him to finish.

"I mean sometimes I feel like I should leave her, cause…imprinting is what will happen most likely for me, if I want it or not. I feel like it might because I still doubt if she means as much to me as she's supposed to. And I don't think I can see her hurt…" he stated, uneasily. I stared at him for what felt like hours.

"Seth…" my voice quivered. Seth looked at me with pained eyes before shaking his head.

"I don't know what I'm saying, Lee. All I'm saying is that, imprinting or not, Jenna's a great girl but I'm not sure…if I'm that committed" he stated. I looked down at the mug, trying to structure whatever he just said. He was right when he said that he has a lot of chance to imprint and it would mean leaving Jenna. I know it's asking a lot from him and commitment is a huge concept. But I knew that Seth liked her and she did like him. It doesn't have to be serious but I felt like I had to advise him. I remembered what Jenna had just said:

"_I know it's weird for me to tell this to you since you're Seth's sister and all but…I don't know. Even if I just have like 5 minutes with him, I would take it. I want it to last long but even if it doesn't…which I don't want to think about, I'll still have that memory of him. Before Seth barely knew me, and now…he does"_

"…she really likes you, Seth" I whispered and slowly turned my gaze back Seth. "She really cares about you."

"That's what makes it harder for me to leave her" he sighed.

"Then don't"

"B-But Leah, im-imprinting—" I cut him off, closing my eyes.

"Forget that, Seth. Forget about that like the time when you first met her. Forget about that when you told me that you would 'fight' the imprint. Forget about that when you said that you care enough to protect her. Did you ever remember that when you did all of this?" I asked and Seth slowly shook his head.

"Then let it be like that. Seth, remember there was a reason why you liked her. Cause she was special and you weren't forced to like her. I know that I don't want to see her hurt because it reminds me…of me"

"I know Lee, that's why—" I cut him off again.

"But she's different. She's determined and cares enough for you to understand. You probably doubting your feelings for her now but once you're with her, you forget all your doubts. I know; I can see it in your eyes. Just don't jump to conclusions when you're not meant to. If she doesn't mean much as you thought, then the choice is yours to move on but if you do really love/like her, then 'fight'. In the end the choice is still yours" I explained, quietly. I know that I almost like I'm pushing this girl to her dread since Seth will be capable to imprint but I think I can trust my brother, and I know that he won't ever hurt anyone. He's knows that but he's kid, and he needs to learn sometimes.

"Thanks Lee…where that all of that come from?" he replied, softly placing his hand on top of my own.

"From a girl who is trying to learn from her past" I answered with a small smile. "But Seth, one thing remember, don't make promises you can't keep."

"Of course, Lee…" he smiled and rubbed my hand. There is something about Seth, I really don't what but there is. He just brings something out in me. He sometimes brings out the sister in me. A sister who cares about her brother, dearly.

"Sorry, I took long…" I turned to see Jenna leaning against the wall, looking at us with a wide smile.

"Oh, it's okay babe…" Seth replied, releasing my hand and walking over to Jenna and pecking her cheek, which she giggled to. "So you're ready to leave now?"

"Yup"

"So what are your plans for today, Lee?" Seth turned and asked me.

"Eh, being bored as hell. Probably go through the cupboard and look for some of my old CDS which I have listened to a million times" I sighed, sipping my coffee.

"Oh, you like music?" Jenna asked and I nodded. Who doesn't like music?

"Well, there's this new music store opened down in Forks by the new Starbucks. It's supposed to be good" she suggested. Well, I didn't have anything else to do, so why not?

"Ah, sounds good. I guess I'll check it out, in my new car" I smiled.

"Aww, I wanted to borrow it" Seth sulked.

"Well tough, your big sister is going to be riding in style around Forks" I stated, and went upstairs to have a long bath. Hopefully today I can find a way of clearing my mind.

* * *

I parked my brand new Range Rover in front of new music store called 'Five'. I guess, people are getting less creative these days. My hope was to find a way of clearing my mind, but ha! Yeah right, that would be happening anytime soon. All I could think about Seth and my 'advice' to him and all, which somehow brought back to _that_ guy. I am being soo lame not mentioning his name but it's getting pretty annoying, to hear his name in my head as my consciences battle each other.

As I walked into the store, I couldn't help to admire its displays and decorations. It was like entering into the '80's era with a touch of the future. There was soo many aisles with so many genres of music and movies. I made my way towards the music sector, viewing all the albums I came across. And guess was going through my mind as I did this? That's right, my battle between consciences.

I mean, I don't even know why I'm getting all suspicious about Jacob's (there, I said his name) behavior at my party. I mean, it was natural for him to be protective of his pack mate. I mean, he is the alpha after all so it's normal, right?

"_Don't you dare touch her!"_ Jacob's growling voice ran through my mind. See? Like an alpha.

"_Your luck? Your luck can go shove---"_ Alpha again.

"_None of my business? None of my goddamn business? Of course it is my business, Leah!" _That is also…sort of Alpha-ish.

"_Sure you could! You did such a wonderful job keeping him from putting his grubby hands on you when you didn't want him to!"_ that was kind of sarcastic but still Alpha-ish.

"_Cause you're fucking GORGEOUS, LEAH! You're not just pretty like that jerk says! You're stunning, beautiful, ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!" _…okay…what the hell was that? That was what kind of confusing. I mean, that was really random. Maybe he's trying to compliment me in a way, you know as a friend…? To make me feel…better?

"_And I couldn't stand there and watch him use you like that, Lee. You mean more to me than you think"_ …mean more to him than…I think? What was that?

I swear at that moment, I could feel his heat envelop me just like how it felt that night as he held me. What is wrong with him? I mean, at one point it's like…I don't know and the next it's…I don't know! Why is he screwing my mind? _No he's not screwing your mind; you are doing that, yourself. Seriously girl, you need to pull yourself together. You're jumping into way to many puddles which you shouldn't. What happened to moving on?_

It's pretty hard when he's in my head half of my time. If only, if only I could just stop that. I mean, making Rachel help my hook up with a guy was one of my solutions but that went to hell (hope that guy does too). Maybe that's why I'm so repellent towards guys. Cause I just can't let go. I mean, it took so long to get over Sam and now Jake…I'm such a loser. I'll never be able to move on if I keep sticking to my past. At least during my birthday I made some progression but becoming curious at Jacob's actions is just my way of begging him to like me. Me? Begging for Jacob? That so doesn't sound right. This is nuts and pathetic. I'll never be able to push past, let alone anything else.

I just continued walking up and down the aisle, soo engrossed in my thoughts that walked smack into someone and let my leg slip. Just when I thought my body would meet the ground, it was caught back by a pair of arms, gripping onto my waist. _I really am I loser._ I cussed in my head before bringing my dangling head to the view of a guy's face. He slowly lifted me up and set me straight. My, he was good looking alright.

His skin was fairer than mine, but slightly tanned; and he had black shiny messy hair that covered most of his forehead. Standing straight, he was just 2-3 inches taller than me and medium built (of course not built as the pack but good enough), and he wore a white full sleeve thin sweater that hugged his upper body real well and dark jeans. His blue eyes with grey freckles gazed at me, as a small smile appeared on his face. I didn't know how long we stood there 'observing' each other but then I suddenly realized that his hands were still around my waist. That annoyed me and my clueless face turned into a scowl.

"Ahem, do you mind?" I softly hissed, indicating to his hands. His smile widened but then he suddenly realized. _About time._

"Oh sorry, there" he apologized, retracting his arms. His voice was almost as smooth as silk if there is such thing like that. I shook myself a bit, rolled my eyes and walked off, kind of brushing away that tingly feeling. After reaching the new releases section was when I sensed someone following me. I turned abruptly only to scare myself and that gorgeous blue eyed---I mean, that guy.

"What the hell? What are you doing?" I snarled, catching my breath and he chuckled. His chuckle was sort of cute—Leah, stop.

"I was wondering if you wanted help" he spoke.

"With what? You already groped me, what else to you want?" I scorned, crossing my arms across my chest.

"I didn't grope you and I'm sorry that I stopped you from bleeding senseless on the store floor" he answered, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms as well. Woah, looks like this guy has a way with words too.

"Seriously, what do you want?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"If you wanted help, since that is my job" he answered.

"You work here? Why aren't you in uniform then?"

"Well being the son of the boss has its perks" he replied. Oh, so no wonder I haven't seen him, because he's new in town—_really, Leah? You are so smart_ (note the sarcasm in my conscience's voice)

"Oh…" I said.

"Yeah, but this just a part time job. My parents are in Colorado anyways and this is just one of the branches we have. Needed a job so I decided to work for my dad and choose Washington cause, I felt like" he explained. Wow, so he's rich then. And what's with people coming here? I mean, don't they know that this place is downright boring as hell? You won't be able to find anything here---_Leah, focus at the guy in front of you._

"Hey, I didn't ask for your life story" I snorted. _Nice job, Leah. Drive away more boys._

"Wow, I guess you're as 'feisty' as people say you are, Leah" he stated. Wait, Woah! He knows me?

"Wait, how do you know my name?" I gasped.

"You don't know me, but I know you" he winked. I mean, he _actually_ winked at me. What a—_hot guy?_ Wait, what?

"What are you, stalking me?" I accused.

"Yes Leah, I stalk you because I have nothing else better to do. I first do this job and then go back to my place and look out in my telescope at your house with a box of doughnuts in my hand" he rolled his eyes, sarcastically. Man, he's good at that…but how does he know my name this? _Ask him for his name, and then you guys will be even._

"Tell me" I scowled.

"I was at your party" he admitted. Party? What party? Does he mean my birthday party? But I've never seen him before.

"How's that possible? I don't even know your name"

"Oh well…Hi, my name is Aaron Samuels, what's yours?" He greeted, sticking his hand at me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, looking at his hand, confused.

"Well, you said that you didn't even know my name, well now you do. Now what is your name?"

"You already know my name!"

"Not formally."

"What the hell? Just tell me how you know me?" I snarled.

"Okay okay…" he raised his hands in truce. "Okay well…do you know that guy who made a pass at you? Ethan?"

Ethan? Who was Ethan—oh, wait! That jerk face. Don't tell me this guy is his friend? I guess one friend is a douche, the other are douches too. And do I attract douche bags or something? Just great, great.

"Yeah…" I hissed.

"Well, I'm his friend's, Chris's, friend" he declared. "I know Rachel Black, if that makes things better."

"Oh…" I merely said.

"By the way, I think Ethan totally deserved that by that guy…boyfriend of yours?" he asked, almost too curious. Boyfriend? HA! Yeah right.

"No" I answered a bit too quickly for my own good and he seemed to relax. Great, now he made Jacob creep in my mind again. But I'm actually pretty surprised that I had almost forgotten about Jake just now. Okay back to this guy. I guess he isn't a douche…I think.

"I'm not douche like Ethan, don't worry…" he whispered, moving his head closer to me, as if he read my mind.

"Why would I worry?" I asked him, puzzled gazing at his blue eyes again. Wow, I don't think I've seen eyes like that before, like ever.

"I don't know. Maybe if you wanted to grab some coffee sometime with me or something…" he shrugged and leaning against the rack. I huffed and leaned against the rack, gazing at him.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because I'm asking you" he said, smiling at me. I know that I was kind of expecting it but that actually surprised me a bit. Really? This guy is actually flirting with me and asking me out? Is this guy high?

"Are you high?" I was too late to stop my thoughts from coming out my mouth. He merely laughed and I hit my head for being so stupid.

"Sorry I just…wasn't expecting that" I nervously laughed.

"Really? Cause we've been flirting for a few minutes now" he stated.

"No we weren—I-I mean I know, it's just…"

"What? Never had a guy ask you out?"

"…Not in a long time" I sighed, with a small weak chuckle.

"Well, today's your lucky day because I just did" he declared. I chuckled and raised my eyebrow at him, amused.

"And what makes you think I'll say yes?" I spoke. His small smile turned into a genuine smile, as his eyes slightly sparkled.

"Cause you didn't say no either. And if you weren't interested in me, you would have sent me away a long time ago" he enlightened. He's smooth…very smooth. And soo right. I would have done that but…I didn't. Maybe there is something about him.

"I guess you have a point there" I gave in, looking away with a small smile creeping on my face.

"So, coffee? With muffins on the side? What do you say?" he suggested and I turned my gaze to him.

"Hmm…okay, guess it can't totally hurt" I agreed, pushing myself off the rack.

"Really?" he asked, astonished but with a smile.

"I guess…since you're paying" I smiled and he pushed himself off the rack.

"Okay then…now, just one last thing"

"What's that?"

"How about that formal introduction now?" he asked and stuck his hand out again. "Hi, my name's Aaron Samuels."

I chuckled and then took his hand and shook it. "Leah, Leah Clearwater"

"Leah, that's a pretty name. Pretty name for a pretty girl" he joked around.

"Shut up, let's get coffee before I decline your offer" I rolled my eyes.

"Gotcha" he laughed and then led me out of the store. Wow, came here to find new CDs but instead came out with a new guy. A new beginning maybe? I think I might like it. I think this will be good for my own good and others too.

I guess Miss Leah Clearwater is back on the field.

And she scores.

* * *

**IMPORTANT****: Okay guys, this is going to be the ****only**** chapter that is going to be till the end of June. I have exams till then. I'm so sorry but I really have to study. I was supposed to be studying now but I felt like I needed to do this for you guys. Well, now I definitely need to study, BIG TIME. For people who read Fading Shadow, I'm so sorry but I won't be able to update until the end of June too. **

**I FAIL EPICALLY. I mean, I'm not freaking out becuz of exams. I'm freaking out becuz I'm not freaking out for exams! WHAT IS THIS? I get distracted the easiet, that it's not even funny. I FAILLLLLLLLLLLLL.**

**Okay so I hope you like this chapter and the next few chapters might be a bit shorter. I hope you like how the story is going, cause I'm kind of trying to un-jumble some of the ideas so I have no idea how to form half of the chapter when writing them :P So I hope I didn't screw up that badly. So Jenna and Aaron…what do you guys think about them? Btw, the name Aaron Samuels, sounds familiar no? Can you spot that name? :P**

**Quick random question: Isn't Caleb/Jake/Jacob/Liam/Ty like really hot names? I was going to name Aaron 'Caleb' first but that name was way too hot xP Do find this names hot too?**


	19. A Mere Confusion

**Jacob Black**

It's official; I think I'm losing it. I mean, what is happening to me? First there is one thing, then there is another and now it's all muddled up into this huge mess and somehow, I've got sucked into it. No, I am so not being melo-dramatic here. I'm serious. I mean, just a few years ago I was fine. Okay who am I kidding? I've never been fine. Ever since Bella entered my life, everything has been topsy turvy. I mean, I was fine before that right? Sometimes I don't even remember much of my life before Bella. How fucked up is that?

It's even more fucked up since before, Bella was all I could think about, then it became Nessie, but now for some reason, it's Leah. Why is it Leah? I have no effing clue.

It's like lately I'm starting to strangely feel…drawn to Leah. I don't know if it's romantically or something else. _No, it's of course not romantically! I mean, it's Leah_. That's what I would have thought a few months ago but now, that idea doesn't seem…all that crazy.

Yeah, it's official, I've definitely lost it. How could I even be thinking of such thing? I mean, I have…Nessie? I don't know. It's just that Leah no longer came to be as my smart ass harpy for a beta (although she is still) but now, she seems like a gorgeous strong girl who just trying to make her own life. And I really like that.

But some of my thoughts are going way too far with me envisioning her as more than just a friend. Well, that was my first small problem and then came another…

"_Jake? Jake?" I heard someone call me, before I felt something cool grip my hand. I shook my head of my thoughts and turned to see Renesmee, seated next to me, gazing at me with her big concerned brown eyes. I couldn't ignore how much she had grown. Seemed like she grew a few more inches and her features were becoming finer. She was always gorgeous but now it's starting to really show. _

"_Jake? Are you okay?" Nessie asked again, giving my hand a small squeeze. _

"_Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I shook my head and spoke._

"_Cause you've just been awfully distracted. I mean, I asked how was Leah's party and you kind of zoned out" she stated. Oh, did I? _

"_So are you gonna tell me how it went? What was it like? Did you have fun?" Nessie bombarded me with questions._

"_It went well. It was fun and it was nice to see everyone again" I answered, truthfully. Well, except for that jerk who tried to score with my Lea—Leah. Just Leah._

"_Did Leah like her present?" Nessie inquired, anxiously. I took a minute before I could respond to her. Did Leah really like her present? I mean, maybe she said those stuff because she felt like she had to…because it's what you're supposed to do when someone gives you a present. But I remembered how her eyes glimmered when she saw that necklace. It felt almost real. Like she really meant what she said and that it actually did mean a lot to her._

"_Yeah…she liked it" A small smile dawned on my face._

"_That's great, Jake. So what else happened in the party?" she eagerly asked, as if she was expecting something else to be said. My smile slowly started to fade as I remembered my action. I knew I couldn't tell Nessie that. Hell, I didn't even fully know what that was. But I knew that just that moment, it felt right. Just holding her securely and close felt…_

_Oh shit! Edward! My eyes flew around the room, scooping that sneaky mind reading leech. But no sign of him. Actually, no sign of most of the Cullens. I knew that Esme and Blondie were in the kitchen but where did the rest of the family go off to?_

"_Err Nessie, where is everyone else?" I asked._

"_Oh well dad, uncle Emmett and Grandpa Carlisle are out hunting while Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper and mom are out shopping for some comforters and other stuff for the guestroom" Nessie answered, but she sounded a bit weary._

"_Oh…why now? I mean, are they others you're expecting?" I asked. _

"_Kind of" Nessie hesitated a bit._

"_Are they nomads? Cause I need to tell the packs about them"_

"_Well, not exactly nomads. More like family friends"_

"_Oh, like that Denali clan?"_

"_Actually, it's pretty exciting news" Nessie announced, with a small smile on her face._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Well, you know Nahuel right?"_

"_I think I vaguely recall him" I answered rolling my eyes, being totally aware about Nahuel and how much he and Nessie talk. She's tells him stuff that she doesn't even tell me. I'm not saying she has to tell me but….whatever._

"_Well, like before, he couldn't get out of South America cause if some clan problems and we spoke a lot, and I tried to convince him a lot, like almost every day. Seriously there wasn't a day that I-"_

"_Nessie, honey get to the point" I didn't need to know how much or what they spoke about. I wasn't clearly all right in the head anyways._

"_Well…Nahuel's coming" she exclaimed, with a smile that her face could barely hold. I felt myself go blank for a bit. The other half born is coming huh? Okay, well that's…great? Right? For some reason, imprinters are supposed to get annoying with other half borns hanging out with their imprints but for me…it didn't bother me all that much. Not like it would have bothered a Quil or a Jared or the others. But of course there was that small dread feeling and a pinch of…jealously but other than that…nothing much._

"_Oh…" was all I could really say._

"_It's pretty exciting. I mean, I haven't seen him forever and everyone is getting excited for his visit. We aren't that sure how long he's going to stay with us but it would be really fun" she went on, smiling away._

"_Sure sure" was all I could say. I was partly distracted at Nahuel visiting and the other half was wondering why I wasn't all that troubled._

"_Jake, you okay?" she finally realized my awkward state._

"_Hmmm?" I turned to gaze at her and she looked at me, a bit curious and like she was expecting something from me. "No, it's great. Sure"_

"_Yeah, I might spend a lot of time with him and show him around…that's okay with you right?" she questioned almost like she being careful with what she was saying._

"_Yeah, yeah that's fine…" I sighed and then got up. "I think I should go and inform the pack of Nahuel's visit."_

_Nessie nodded as she got up and gave me a hug around my waist. I smiled and gave a small squeeze._

"_Love you, Jacob" she sighed._

"_You know I love you too, Ness" I replied, pulling away and left the household._

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath as the sound of waves crashing filled my ears. This head of mine was never right was it? I mean, one moment I'm thinking one thing and then I don't want to think about it and the next I wonder why I'm not thinking it.

Does that make sense?

Of course, it doesn't. Cause I feel my head is getting fried. And for what reason? I don't know. _That's because you are an idiot, Jake._

It's just all my senses feel soo messed up and…I haven't felt like this in a while. I'm not saying I was missing this feeling but I'm not sure what this feeling is.

Why is it that I was soo bothered when that jerk was with Leah than when Nessie said that Nahuel, the half breed that can't seem to stay away from her, was coming here?

I felt Leah's picture fix itself in my head, and a small smile grew on her face. I felt myself feel a bit warm within.

There! That! What is that?

Was it because of Leah? I know I've felt this warmth before but I can't put my finger when. But why do I feel this warmth? Is it Leah's doing?

Could it be possible that I like Leah a bit more that Nessie? What, no. That's just crazy. I mean, Nessie is my imprint and if this is it, then that means that I like Leah.

I like Leah. I like Leah? Do I? I mean, have I? I mean…I mean…

"Okay, I have got to stop!" I yelled at myself, and sunk my head back into my palms.

"Stop what?" a loud voice questioned from next to me, making me almost jump up in surprise.

"Jesus Quil, don't do that" I huffed and ran my hand through my hair.

"Don't do what?" Quil asked, puzzled before taking a seat on the log, next to me, kicking the sand off his sneakers.

"Nothing…" I sighed.

"Okay then. So what did you want to stop?"

"Huh?"

"Before, you said you have to stop something. What is it?"

"Oh…nothing" I sighed, looking at my hands.

"We're not getting anywhere with this, Jake" Quil rolled his eyes and leaned back on the log.

"There is nothing to get to" I replied and turned my gaze to Quil. "What are you doing here anyways? Where's Claire?"

"Oh, she's at Emily's. Her mom and Emily want to have 'girl' time. I decided to skip that. It's getting a bit too feminine for my good" Quil explained.

"You think?" I rolled my eyes. But it was really different to see Quil, without a Claire attached to him. Or actually more of a Claire without a Quil attached to her.

"Anyways, what are you doing here?" he asked as I turned my gaze back to the long beach.

"Just thinking. Actually, just got back from Cullens."

"Ah, how's Nessie doing?"

"She's doing well. Oh by the way, you need to inform the pack and Sam's pack that Nahuel is coming to visit soon" I stated, but almost as if my mind was somewhere else.

"Nahuel? Nahuel…oh isn't he the other half breed?" Quil asked.

"The very same one" I sighed. From the corner of my eye, I could see Quil trying to read my face.

"And you feel a bit…" Quil uttered, waiting for me to say something else.

"…What?" I looked at him.

"Nothing you just seem a bit…I don't know, disturbed about that idea?"

"Ehh…" was all I could really say for an answer.

"Ehh? What kind of answer is 'ehh'?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I sighed, rubbing my neck and gazed down at the sand. Should I tell him? _Tell him what?_ Well, it can't hurt, I guess.

"Quil, have you ever…like…" I coughed, rubbing my neck again but Quil didn't say anything. He just waited for me to continue.

"Have you ever felt…that something was wrong…just wrong for even thinking at times…but somehow, somewhere extremely deep within, a small part that felt _somehow_…it felt right?" I heaved a sigh and slowly moved my gaze to him. His furrowed eyebrows slowly raised up together before again going back to its furrow state.

"I have a feeling that I haven't had that feeling…" he hesitantly answered and I brought my gaze back to the ground. Of course he hasn't. What was I thinking that Quil might know what I mean? He might just think it has something to do with the imprint or something.

"But…" he spoke again. " I also have a feeling that this isn't about Nessie…is it?"

My eyes shot up and I sat up straight, looking astounded at Quil. Quil's face was calm as a small smile played on his face. Okay, what the-how did he know? I mean, does he?

"Huh?" was the only word that was able to seep out of my mouth.

"Jake, pal…" he rolled his eyes and threw his arm around my shoulders. "You underestimate me at times, man. I know."

"You know?"

"I know"

"Know about what?"

"About you"

"What about me?"

"About your feelings?"

"What feelings?"

"The feelings that you're having"

"What about them?"

"They are about Leah"

"Huh?" I stared at Quil, stunned.

"That you have feelings for Leah"

"Huh?" still stunned.

"That you really like Leah"

"Woaaaaah, Quil man, stop…" I nervously laughed and moved away from his hold. "What are you talking about?"

"Whatever I've been talking about for the past…" Quil looked at his watch. "…one minute and 13…14…15...16...17...18—"

"I get it" I cut him off. "What I don't get is how you got that"

"Cause it's true" Quil merely shrugged.

"No it's not"

"Yes it is"

"No it's not"

"Yes it is. And don't say it's not" Quil sighed, wearily.

"Look Quil, there is nothing going on between me and Leah" I clarified. And it was true. Nothing was. We are just beta and alpha. Friend and friend…

"I know, but something could be" he stated.

"Well, I'm not looking for a 'could'"

"Then are you looking for a 'want'?"

"No I'm not-Quil, what is hell has gotten into you? Why are thinking this? I never said anything about Leah. How can you automatically assume it's Leah?" I cried, frustrated but Quil seemed unphased.

"Well then, who else were you talking about?" Quil questioned, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I was talking about…hmmm…I was…You know, I was just asking in general" I unsurely answered, wondering if Quil would strike another question but he didn't. He just sat there, looking at me, plainly. I sighed and rested my elbows on my thighs, as I gazed at my fingers. There was a slight silence around us. None of us had spoken for a minute but my mind kept playing some 'what ifs'.

"I mean…" I sighed, eyes glued onto my clasped hands. "Even…even if it was about Leah…hypothetically if it was Leah…I mean, it's not right to even like her, is it? I mean, she's a pack member and I have an imprint…it's wrong…"

"Do you…feel it's wrong?" Quil softly asked, almost as to reveal something to me. Did I feel it was wrong? Not…really. I mean, Leah was a girl that anyone could like, despite her occasional lash outs and attitude. But was it wrong for me to like her?

"No…not really…" I sighed and from the corner of my eye, I saw a huge smile play on Quil's face. Shit, I just gave in into him that it was Leah. I just told him that I kind of liked her. _You're an idiot, Jake!_

"Damn it…" I groaned, and sunk my head into my palms before Quil's laughter filled the area around me.

"I knew it. Ha! You guys are getting too easy. First Leah and now you…damn, I'm too good" Quil chuckled. I rubbed my face and slowly gazed at him.

"Wait…Leah told you, she liked me…? When?"

"Oh, about a week ago. I kind of already guessed it at first but I made her give in, just like I did to you" he smirked. I can't believe I was outsmarted by Quil. _Quil!_ What will happen to this world?

"Wh…what did…she say?" I uncertainly asked. If Leah actually spoke about this to someone, it must mean something.

"Not much…she was just talking about her new beginning and how she just wanted to forget about her feelings for you because it was for the best, for the both of you" Quil shrugged. The best for both of us? Was it really? For some reason, I didn't feel like it was.

"Oh…"

"Sorry to disappoint you, man but I'm soo glad you finally realized your feelings for Leah" he patted my back.

"Wait what? What feelings? I don't have deep feelings for Leah. So will you shut up about it" I hissed at Quil. I didn't have deep feelings for Leah. I don't. I don't. I don't?

"Dude, you just admitted it"

"No, I did not."

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't say the exact words"

"Sneaky" Quil gasped and I rolled my eyes. Quil may be getting good at getting things out of people but it's soo easy take things away from him.

"Besides, it's probably just a crush" I stated, as-a-matter-of-fact way.

"A crush? Are you sure?"

"Positive, we have it all the time. It's probably because Leah is just the only girl that I've been hanging out with so much, so I just got a liking to her. Come on, we all did once" I stated. Yeah, it was of course a crush. That explains it. Right?

"So you think it's only because Leah is the only girl, is the reason why you like her?" Quil asked.

"Yeah…well, not just because she's the only girl….but—" just when I was about to fully give in into Quil, Seth brushed through the bushes and appeared from behind, looking like he just came from patrol.

"Hey guys" he greeted, with his wide ass smile, removing a wet leaf that was stuck on his bare chest.

"Hey Seth" I greeted, almost in relief but also tension that the fact that just a second ago we were talking about his sister.

"What's up?" he asked, as he leaned against the tree's huge uprooted root.

"Oh nothing, just hanging. Oh by the way, the other half breed is coming here so we better give Embry and the other pack a heads up" Quil answered.

"Oh Nahuel's coming? That's cool, he seems like a cool guy" Seth smiled.

"Yeah…he's…soo cool" I sarcastically stated. Seth gets even more excited with visitors than the Cullens do themselves. Now, I know why Seth and Nessie get along well.

"Something up, Jake?" Seth asked. What, how do they know if something's up? I sound fine. How does it seem like I'm giving away troubled vibes?

"Nah, he's okay…" Quil uttered. I sighed in relief that Quil didn't give away anything and he's actually covering well for me.

"He's just a bit spaced that the Halfling is coming suddenly. And also at the fact that he's totally in love with you sister" Quil said it like it was the normaliest thing in the world.

_I spoke too soon about him. Thanks a lot_.

"What?" I cried, bewildered.

"What?" Seth exclaimed, with wide eyes.

"Seth, it's not what you think. I'm not in love with Leah" I tried to clarify.

"Yeah, you just really, really like her" Quil said.

"No…I like her a normal amount"

"How much is a normal amount?"

"Normal amount is like…friend amount"

"Ha, I don't think so. If that was true, you would be having dreams about me"

"You had dreams about my sister?" Seth screeched, his eyes getting bigger, as he stood in that frozen state.

"No, I haven't had dreams about Leah" I tried to fight my case.

"But you might" Quil spoke.

"I don't know if it might or not. Maybe—" I heard Seth give out a small sort of shriek. "I mean, I won't…I won't have dreams about Leah…you know why? Because I don't like her."

"You don't like Leah?" Quil gave a fake gasp.

"No I mean, I do like Leah"

"Do you care about her?"

"Of course, I care about Leah. She means almost everything to me. I love Leah"

"What?" Seth yelled. His eyes as big as tennis balls. _Oh my god, one insane wolf at the time please!_

"But not that way!" I completed my sentence.

"Then what way, Jake?" Quil asked, oh so innocently. He's learnt a thing or two from Claire, I'm guessing.

"I'm gonna murder you, Quil" I growled at Quil but his smirk didn't leave his face.

"I don't know why you're making it sound like such a bad thing. I mean Leah liked you"

"My sister liked you?" Seth spoke, but I doubt neither me nor Quil heard him.

"Cause it is a bad thing" I alleged.

"Why is it a bad thing?" Quil asked, curiously.

"Cause it's wrong"

"What's wrong with Leah?"

"Nothing's wrong with Leah. She's just not like other girls" I stated.

"So the reason why you can't like her is because she's different?" Quil slowly articulated his words. Seth just stood against the tree, dumbstruck.

"Are you kidding? That's practically the reason why I like her"

"What do you like about her?" Quil inquired.

"What's not to like? Where do I even begin?" I sighed and gazed at the shore, thinking about all the things that I liked about Leah but never said it out.

"She's so different in a good way. She may make you annoyed or angry but she also makes you laugh and keeps your head in check. Even behind the bitterness, you can see how carefree she really is, and she's been showing it lately which really suits her. She's a fighter and independent and so strong, which is what I admire her for. She has a way of reminding me of a life that I left behind and always stood there, despite my faults. She's strong minded, got some way with words but also makes you feel amazing."

"As for her physical beauty, she could put some _Sports Illustrate_ models to shame. She maybe a bit more to the athletic side than the curvy side but it's just right for her. She has such beautiful almost almond shaped brown eyes and long eyelashes, that every time she bats them it could produce hurricanes in Hawaii. She has those long gorgeous fingers to compliment her long legs which look like they could go on and on forever…" I envisioned Leah and how she looked on her birthday night. There by the beach, with the blue colors of the sky dancing on her skin. She looked almost unbelievable.

It was only after a small breath, did I realize what I had just said. _Shit_. I just lost almost all my consciousness and let my mouth ramble and ramble to Quil and Leah's brother. I sharply turned my gaze to them and saw both of them with their eyes wide open, and Quil had a grin on his face while Seth's mouth was hanging down on the sand. _Jacob, you may already know this but…you're an idiot._

"Woah…" Quil finally spoke after a moment of plain awkwardness. "I was expecting something a lot less, not that but Woah."

"EW…oh my god, ew" Seth' mouth seemed unmoved but the words just seeped out. I got up and walked to him, running my hand nervously through my hair.

"Oh man, look Seth, I can explain. That was just…I don't love Leah" I said, as Seth stared at him blankly.

"What about what you just said?" Quil decided to butt in. I caught hold of his face with my palm and shoved him off the log, without taking my gaze off Seth.

"Okay, what just happened now…it was…look Seth, I don't exactly have strong feelings for Leah. This is…is just a crush. Yes, a crush. I mean, we all had a crush on Leah once. I just happened to kind of renew it again" I explained and I heard Quil grumble as he sat up on the sand and dusted off his shorts.

"Well I didn't…because she's my sister…so ew" Seth stated, gazing at me, astonished.

"Look Seth, it's just a crush okay?"

"You have a…you have a…" Seth tried to formulate a sentence but I knew where he was going at.

"I know, that's why this is just a crush. It will go away, okay?" I replied.

"But…but what...but what if…huh?" Seth again stuttered.

"Just a crush. It's nothing else and nothing more, okay?" I concluded, though it seemed to have ended almost unsurely. Seth returned a sort of frozen nod so I took that as an 'okay'.

"Okay then, I'm going to go home now. See you guys later" I said.

"Sure…" Seth said, blankly and Quil gave a nod as he slowly rested his arms on the log and leaned on them.

"Okay then. Remember, just a crush. It will go. These small things will go. The fact that I think she's amazing or that she is absolutely gorgeous is just part of a crush. Okay? Bye then" I said, ignoring Seth's eyes widen a bit while Quil rolled his eyes and slowly made my way down the beach. Not before I heard Quil and Seth whisper.

"He soo likes your sister" Quil chuckled.

"I think…you may be right…" Seth sighed.

"What? What is it?"

"…I don't know. Just a bit…worried. Just if…it's something more…" Seth softly stated.

I walked down the beach, not bothering to go back and correct him. Something more? Of course, it can't be something more. I mean, this is Leah. She's my pack mate. My beta. My friend. There isn't more.

This is a crush. I've had crushes before. I did have one of Leah once too, I just didn't know how strong it was. Maybe it was this strong.

So strong that it felt like I was lying to myself. I felt like I knew that it wasn't just a crush.

I felt like I have felt this warmth before. And it wasn't just because of a crush. It is something else. Is it? Could it…?

_Jacob…_

I know, I know…I'm an idiot.

* * *

**HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! OMG! IT'S BEEN FOREVER. But I warned you about Exams. But I decided to surprise you with this chapter. YAY! I was going actually do two chapters and post it together but then I thought, don't want to keep you guys waiting for too long. I'll try my best and possiblely get the next chapter by tomorrow, if I'm up for it.**

**Technically my exams aren't over. I still have one more; so consider this is as "breaking the rules" for my reviewers =L ain't I sweet? **

**I think I kind of lost it at the last few lines. I wanted more from Seth but I guess I can't totally express it here so let's hope the next chapters will be able to. This chapter was a bit shorter than my 8,000 words ones and the next one will also be a bit shorter too. Just cause it builds up on Leah and Jacob's feelings separately. **

**Going to see Eclipse on the premier day with my cousin. She also likes the wolves (in a less insane way than me). But she doesn't like Leah…*crickets chirp* BUT! She really likes Jake and Seth so YAY! XD**

**There is a poll in my profile, for any oneshots you could be looking forward to. Plus, I have a one-shot that I posted during the exams (yes, I'm a badass xP) which is pretty dark-ish Leah/Jake/Sam stuff called 'Silent Killer' so check it out. Plus, I'm the type of person who keeps updating my profile to check it out for completed work or upcoming work.**

**I know, this is a LONG writer's note but it's just that I've been away from you guys for so long and there is so much to say D: This all I shall say for now so yeah *tapes mouth***

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE. Please Review even if it sucked Platypus!**

**Oh btw****, is it me or is Julia Jones starting to look a lot Leah rawr-ish? I'm serious. She's soo growing on me. When I watched the 'Bella meets the Pack' clip, and Leah came in it; I was like WOAH! She sounds like Leah! Hell she even looks like Leah! I got soo happy! And realized that Julia Jones is in fact awesome. And she is soo gonna do an awesome job as Leah. I bet a lot of Blackwater fans noticed Leah defending Jake was soo LOVE but all I could think at the moment was BURRRRRN BELLA! HAHAHA! :3 Of course, still in my head as I'm writing fanfic, she isn't the Leah (seriously, Sarah Black in my head :P) but I think she is going to do AMAZING in the movies so can't wait =D**


	20. Stepping Forward

**Leah Clearwater**

I sighed as the hot shower water slowly started to ascend to cold. It was time anyways for me to get out. I'd been in there for way too long. But it just feels soo nice to stay underneath the hot water and just feel your whole body suddenly calm down. It gives you that inner body peace.

I'm not saying that I've been troubled lately. Actually, I've been less troubled than I've been in a while. My head isn't banging as much as it did few months ago. That's a good sign right?

Aaron was just able to make me forget and feel better. I wasn't able to be fully open with him, so that I can avoid scaring him off. Surprisingly, he finds my 'bitchy fits' amusing and doesn't get pissed at them. How weird is that? He's smart and very sly though so I guess I know why he doesn't get fazed.

Well, at least he hasn't met the pack otherwise he would never recover.

Oh yeah, I had been avoiding the pack and going out with Aaron. Yeah, I know bad idea but it was for the best. I didn't want to have the 'oh my god! He's not your imprint! What are you doing? You're gonna hurt him and yourself' conversation. I would normally get that conversation from Sam but I try to steer clear from my pack as well.

I turned off the faucet and stepped out and onto my bathroom rug, grabbing my towel. I just dabbed my body a few times before letting what comes natural (well, for me at least) to do its work and dry me up.

I didn't care that I walked out of the bathroom naked. It's not like no one has seen my naked ass anyways. Well, in La Push at least. I took out a pair of my favorite black jeans and a plain white camisole and pulled it on me. Apparently Aaron heard about some fair that is going on in Port Angeles and wanted to take me there. Seriously, he just randomly called me and asked 'hey, how long since you've been to a fair?' The truth was we hadn't been out (as in outside of La push) let alone a fair out of town, since dad and the wolf thing happened.

Sucks, I know. I remember when me and Seth used to freak out whenever dad would round out the car and just suddenly decide to take us to these fairs and all sorts of events that would happen within the state. But I guess that died out when….yeah.

I slipped on my sneakers and headed downstairs, pulling over a thin blue cardigan over my camisole. I heard the shuffling of dishes and I came to see, as I guessed, my brother making a full four coursed meal. And of course, not in a neat or formal manner.

_Brothers._ Wait, not just brothers.

_Boys_. Wait, that's not completely true.

_Wolf boys._ Again, not as accurate.

_Bottomless pit hungry wolf boys._ There, that's it.

"Seth, your arms aren't long enough and you're holding the stuff soo tight that it will—" and then bursting of the pasta packet proved my point. Seth's 'oops, my bad' face was on as he slowly set the rest of the stuff onto the counter.

"Hmm….I'll clean it up?" he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"There is no question to it. You _will_ clean it up" I stated, opening the fridge and taking a chocolate milk box out. Seth sighed and got the dustpan out, kneeling onto the floor and sweeping up the pasta.

"Okay, okay…I _was _cooking for you too but hey, whatever" Seth mumbled, hoping to get me to give him some pity. Yeah, _sure_ I would.

"Yeah, _sure_ you were…" I rolled my eyes. "I'm going out anyways."

"Oh? Where?" he asked, dusting the some pasta into the trash. "Aterea's?"

"Yeah right" I huffed.

"Embry's?"

"Nope"

"Emily's?"

"Geez, do you know me at all, Seth?" I huffed again, flipping through the contacts in my phone.

"…Blacks''?" he asked, almost unsurely.

"Hmm no…do I have to hang out with people who have the potential to have fleas?" I answered.

"Hey, you know that's only Quil" Seth chuckled.

"I know" I said and viewed the text that Aaron had sent 2 hours ago.

"Then where are you off to again?" Seth asked, scooping yet another clutter of pasta from the floor.

"Again?" I asked, removing my gaze from my cell, placing it in my pocket and taking a sip out of the milk box. Seth rolled his eyes like it was obvious.

"Oh come on Leah, like I haven't noticed that you have been going out a lot and haven't been on patrol for ages" he said. Huh, looks like my brother is not all that dumb.

"Oh…" was all I said, as I took another sip out of the box and threw it in the bin, the same time Seth dunked the second helping of pasta he scooped up with the dust pan.

"So, where are you off too? Have another pack that you've joined? Is there a guy?" Seth chuckled, bending down to scoop the last helping of pasta.

"Well, yeah" I said. There was no use hiding it and plus, Seth is my obnoxious brother; it won't totally hurt to tell him.

"Yeah what?" Seth asked, a bit oblivious.

"There is a guy"

"Ha! Yeah right. I was joking Leah" Seth laughed and ducked the last of the fallen pasta.

"…But I'm not" I stated, a bit seriously. Now I'm starting to doubt myself to wanting to tell him and also doubt the functioning of his pea sized brain.

"A dude? Who? A friend you made?" Seth asked a bit surprised; mainly cause of the word 'friend'.

"Well, a bit more than that…a kind of guy I've been seeing for a while. And I like him" I stated, just wanting to get over this slowness and stupidity of this interaction. Seth instantly stood up, looking at me bewildered. He took a couple of seconds to gulp down my statement. Man, what a drama queen.

"Is it soo hard to hear me dating? I used to date before, sheesh" I rolled my eyes, and picked up a strawberry from the container in the fridge. He stared at me a bit more before opening his mouth to say something.

"W…Who is he?" Seth asked in a way that felt like he was almost afraid to know. Like he already knew but he was afraid to know. What is wrong with this kid?

"Hmm, he's name is Aaron and I met him like a week ago. Seth, are you okay?" I raised my eyebrow, and slowly closed the fridge. Seth's eyes widened for a bit before his eyebrows furrowed. He didn't say anything and slowly ducked the last of the fallen pasta in the bin. Well, that was a total change in mood.

"Seth? Hello?" I asked again, waved my hands a bit. He turned to me, still with those furrowed eyebrows. Okay, there is something on his mind and he's not telling me.

"Huh? Oh nothing, I guess I'm a bit…surprised that's all" He finally spoke, hesitantly.

"Surprised that your sister has a date in soo long? Well I can't blame you for that" I answered truthfully. But something still was wrong. His eyebrows were still furrowed. There was something more than me just dating.

"No…not that" he softly muttered, putting the dust pan and brush back into the cabinet underneath the sink. Okay this is getting annoying.

"Seth, what is going on in that empty head of yours?" I sighed, getting tired of Seth's weird behavior. If it wasn't about me dating then what could possibly be bothering Seth soo much?

"Hmm, nothing" he stated.

"Well that's normally the normal thing to be happening in your head…" I said and Seth rolled his eyes at me. "But there is something there in your head and why aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing really. Just a thought"

"A thought?"

"More of a wonder…a question"

"Well, what is it? Because I'm getting tired of this mysterious thing you have going on here" I announced, resting my arms on the counter and leaning on them. Seth gazed at me for a few seconds before sighing and walking towards the other end of the counter.

"I was wondering…just curious actually if it were possible…or true" he started, almost sounding like he was talking to himself than me, as he rested his palms on the counter.

"Seth…" I whined for him to just get out with it.

"Okay, okay…do…like…Jacob?" Seth timidly asked, gazing at me.

"Hmm, he may be annoying and all but he is our alpha and I guess I don't totally…hate him?" I answered, a bit confused as to what Seth was being so hesitant about.

"No…No…" he sighed, looking at his palms and then looked up at me. "Did you ever…like him…more...than just a friend or an alpha?"

I swear something jolted in my body at that question. What the…how the…why is he…huh? What the hell am I worrying about? He's just asking a question so I should do the smart thing an answer. But why is it so hard to answer? _Oh mainly because your young brother just asked if you ever liked Jacob Black more than an alpha which of course you did_. Just _great_. But that was the past right? So it's okay to tell him, right? Or you know, I could just lie. Yeah, I'm good at that. I anyways don't want anything romantic to do with Jacob so it's better to lie and brush past it…right?

"What…what bro-brought that o-on?" _way to sound nonchalant, Leah_.

"Just had a feeling and…_other_ stuff. But…is it true?" he asked me again, but his tone seemed a bit tense; like he was expecting the unexpected. I sighed, looking down at my arms.

"'_Was_' is a better word than _'is'_" I softly said but knew very well that Seth had heard me. I slowly glanced up to see Seth's body was up right and his eyes were a bit widened. I was a bit surprised on how bold I was to just state to my brother that yes, in fact that I did like Jacob. Somehow I was in too deep to just ignore it. I slowly propped up to my palms and looked at my stunned brother. I watched as he took down a slow gulp before able to say something.

"…you…actu-actually…liked him?" He asked and I sighed.

"Yeah, but nothing happened" I stated.

"Wh-when did you…" He stuttered but I sighed to cut him off.

"Look Seth, I already went through this and I don't want to go through this again. It was past, and me and Jacob talked…kind of and I'm…over it"

"…Are you sure?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know. I mean, after years you find someone to like other than Sam and that guy's Jacob. So how can you be sure?"

"Don't be stupid, Seth. It was nothing. I just-" But Seth cut me off.

"No, I'm serious Lee. I mean first…how could you let this happen?" Seth spoke in a bit of a serious tone. I was a bit taken back at that comment.

"Let this happen?"

"I mean, I know you can't control your feelings but Jacob? Really?"

"Seth, you know I don't ask for these things"

"I know but…it's just hard. Not only for you, but for me too…" Seth sighed and walked around the counter towards me. "Look, I'm glad that you're doing better than before and if imprinting didn't exist, then I would have been the happiest person to know if you and Jacob were to be together, but now…it's difficult. It's confusing and I don't want you to go through it again."

At one point, I was deeply touched on how protective and caring Seth was towards me. Of course, he knew what I had been through and despite my faults and not always being such a good sister model, he was there by my side. But at another point, for some reason, I was bit hurt at the statement he stated. I don't know why but it just seemed to make me feel a bit pathetic.

"…I know that, Seth" I sighed, and I felt his hands rest on top of my shoulders.

"Jacob cares a lot about you, Leah but…" He stated.

"I get it, Seth and you have nothing to fear. It's over and done. Jacob is…with his imprint and I'm back to…dating" I stated, almost fighting with myself to put on a smile. I was happy that things were going back to normal…ish.

"I'm glad…" Seth sighed.

"So what brought this on? You thought I was going out with Jacob?" I asked.

"Hmm, yeah kind of…I mean…" Seth answered.

"Listen Seth, we're cool, okay? I liked him before…for a short period of time. That's it and that's all that's ever going to be. I removed my foot out of that bear trap before I got hurt. I'm smart, Seth…" I rolled my eyes and ruffled his hair. "Plus, Jacob doesn't see me that way and I'm good with that cause I'm not seeing him that way either.

I noticed a bit of a pause and hesitance from Seth's part but he quickly brushed it off with his quirky smile. It was nice to talk to Seth and even set things straight in this weirded out mind of mine.

"So…I better go now" I announced.

"Oh right, your date. So you decided to be like your brother and date outside huh?" Seth spoke, almost proud of himself. I wanted to return a smart comment but it was true that Seth dating Jennifer (or was it Jenny? Jina? Jenna?) was one of my jolts to start seeing other people.

"I guess so…" I admitted, playfully punching his shoulder.

"So what's he like?" Seth asked, acting a bit brother like but still having a bit hesitance in his tone.

"He's cool and fun and you'll never meet him"

"Aww, why not?"

"Cause you and the pack will scare him off"

"Well since he is dating you, I doubt that we would cause him a scare" Seth chuckled. Oh, that smart ass. My baby brother is learning a thing or two from me…or Jacob.

"Shut up"

"Come on, Lee"

"Not today anyways"

"Where are you going anyways?"

"To a fair"

"OH, sounds soo fun"

"Yeah, and I shall leave now" I stated, heading for the door and grabbing the car keys. Seth looked like he wanted to tell something more. I couldn't figure if it was a good or bad at the way he bit his lip but then quickly released it.

"I'll be back soon, hopefully" I said, opening the door.

"Have fun and hope he's worth it" Seth said, with a smile and I closed the door.

* * *

_Worth it? Hope he's worth it?_ Of course Aaron is worth it. He's an awesome guy but sometimes I wonder if…I'm worth it? Am I worth it for Aaron? I mean I've been through a lot and I'm not the definition of normal, so do I really want to drag Aaron into this drama? Come to think of it, was I ever worth it for Sam? Or…Jacob for that matter? _Of course not, I mean look at where you are now. _So is it worth it…even worth trying?

"Leah? Hello, you there?" I heard Aaron's voice and saw his palms waving at my face. I shook my head a bit and looked to the side to see Aaron gazing at me.

"Huh, what?" I asked, unaware.

"Hi, are you okay?" He asked, stuffing his hands inside his baggy jeans as he walked by my side.

"Ye-yeah, I'm fine…why do you ask?"

"Cause we've been here for a while and you haven't spoken much. I mean, I know I'm the talker and all but something seems to be on your mind" He stated.

_A lot of things are on my mind which I can't say_. "No, it's nothing" I answered instead.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" I answered, passing the stalls by our side. The Fair was pretty huge and looked soo fun. We had been walking for a while now, and all I could think about was my past and I guess my sort of talk with Seth. This is not moving forward, this is wondering about the past, therefore meaning not moving at all.

"Leah…" Aaron again called out to me and I gazed at him. "Something isn't summing up."

"I said it's nothing" I said a bit abruptly.

"No I mean, ever since we met all we ever talked about is general and my life…" he spoke.

"…yeah?"

"I know that your name is Leah and you live with your mom and brother. You're Quileute and you like the colors blue and red"

"…Uhuh, what's your point?"

"What about the rest of you? Your life…your past?" He said. Oh great, just the topic I didn't want to touch upon. And I didn't want to suck Aaron into my suck fest past; then he'll surely run away. And plus, what will I tell him? My werewolf ex-boyfriend falling in love with my cousin, my dad dying right in front of me, my brother and I turning into huge dogs or the fact that I had feelings for my alpha quite recently? _Hmm, that's tough._

"…Hm, don't want to talk about it" I sighed.

"Why not?"

"It's not the best" _It's worse, so much worse_.

"It can't be that bad" He shrugged. _Ha, wanna bet?_

"Can we just not talk about it, okay? It just hurts" I declared and shook my head at a guy trying to sell me a balloon. Why do I have to be soo mean to Aaron? He didn't do anything. I slowly glanced at him only to see recognition plastered on his face.

"Ah…who _was _the guy?" He asked and I turned to him, shocked.

"How did you know it was about a guy?"

"I recognized it had to do with love. So what did he do?"

"Do?" I asked and continued to walk and Aaron kept to my side.

"Something must have happened that would make you almost fear your past" Aaron stated, like it was just a simple statement. What the hell? How did he…how does he do this?

"It's…really awful" I sighed, closing my eyes for moment. I didn't want that pain to affect me. I was over Sam, yet still to think about it, was like I was pinched all around my body. Why did it still feel soo hard to state it?

"I think I can top that" Aaron lightly chuckled.

"Ha, I doubt" I snorted as a couple of kids ran past us.

"Well, how the fact that the girl that I loved only stayed with me for 2 years because in real fact, she was trying to get my brother" he replied, in a quick pace but I was able to catch every single word. That's why I stopped right then and there on my spot, and watched him pass by me and about 5 steps away, he stopped and turned to face me with a weak smile on my face.

"Wh-wh…wh-at?" I asked, hardly able to digest what he just confessed.

"Oh yeah, she was with me because she loved my brother" He nodded, almost a bit amused. How can he seem soo cool about what he said? He just said that the girl that he loved had left him for his brother. This is freakish coincidence or he's playing with me. I doubt he is though.

"I-I'm…so-sorry…" I said, looking down at my feet. I heard him slowly walk towards me and let out a weak chuckle.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I do feel so stupid for not seeing the signs. It seemed obvious…" He sighed. "…But that's what happens when you love someone."

_You speak the truth, my friend_. I slowly looked up at him. He didn't look so upset by this topic than I expected him to be. I mean whenever I mention Emily or Sam, people have to evacuate the room.

"B-but I'm s-sorry for...making you co-confess that…" I said.

"Nah, it's okay. That was one thing I left out about me anyways" He said and started walking again and I joined him. "They're still together, in Colorado. Married actually. I guess I just learnt to live with it."

"How? I mean, aren't you mad at them for what they did? For what they've put you through?" _The same way I'm mad at Emily and Sam for screwing with me._

"I was, really…but not anymore" He shrugged. How can he handle this soo well? I mean, his heart would have been probably crushed and I know he didn't deserve it.

"Not anymore? How?" I asked, a bit irritated on how lightly he was taking this and I was also honestly curious.

"I was furious with her. For using me and all. It was definitely a total bitch move to do. And I was a bit upset with my brother for accepting her later on, but not as much as I was upset with her"

"How come?"

"Cause he didn't intend on it happening. He tried to resist her…but love is really a tricky business…" Aaron sighed, gazing at me. "I can't hate him because he's my brother and I know he didn't want to intentionally hurt me. He did try to back me up before he gave in and I learnt that in fact he did like her too."

I thought about that for while. Of course I was hurt for Emily admitting to Sam, because I felt like she didn't even try to defend me. But I also knew that it wasn't something she could control. Even when she wanted me to be happy with Sam, I could see the love in her eyes for Sam. I of course ignored that until I was 'betrayed'. I guess I can understand Aaron's defense for his brother but what about the girl who broke his heart? The girl who broke all the promises she made? The girl who just led him to a dead end?

"What about her? How could you forgive her?" I asked a bit roughly. I was angered at the fact that Aaron would just give in to their 'love', which would just leave him all alone.

"I knew that I couldn't forgive her easily…" He sighed. "But there was a tiny part of me that somehow had already forgiven her."

"Why?"

"Because…whatever she did, whatever she said to me, whatever pain she caused me, was all for him" he stated.

"So? How does that make you forgive her? Doesn't it make you hate her?" I said and he slowly shook his head.

"Not totally…yeah, I do feel a bit of resentment but I learned to accept."

"Accept what? That you were just a pawn in her game?" I snorted and I saw him cringe a bit but then he brushed past it.

"It took me a long time to actually listen to her, to hear her out, to talk to her. I was hurt of course, but then I realized that…the reason she did this was because she was practically blinded by love. Love makes you do the craziest things ever" He lightly chuckled.

"What?" I asked, unable to comprehend.

"She didn't care about anything else but him. He was the one she wanted and she was soo focused that she didn't care about anything else. She did feel so bad that she had hurt me. My brother told me that Helen –that is her name by the way- couldn't stop crying for 2 days because she was angry with herself for hurting me. We aren't as close as we were before, but we are on good terms and that's all that matters. I got closure" he explained. I slowly started to realize how much he made sense even though a part of me was trying soo hard to deny it. I was soo focused on how it hurt me that I didn't even think about wondering how Sam and Emily were thinking. _Well, watching Emily's pictures in my Sam just explains how much he's sorry, right? _(Notice sarcasm).

"How…can you be soo cool about this?" I asked, with furrowed eyebrows. He stopped and turned to face me, with a weak smile on his face. He slowly brushed his black hair off as to show his sincere blue eyes.

"Because…I don't want to be a person to hold grudge and deprive them and even myself of a future. And I guess there was always a part of me that knew that maybe, we weren't meant to be. She wasn't worth it…" he stated, with the grey freckles on his eyes sparkling.

My face softened at him as he said those words. Even though I hated Sam and Emily for what they did and I do look like a person to hold a grudge, but I don't really want to hold one. I didn't realize that my anger and resentment had not only affected Sam and Emily, but even maybe myself. And the more I thought about it, there was a teeny part of me that felt…maybe me and Sam…

"Oh…" was what escaped my mouth, as I glanced down at the ground. This is soo unbelievable.

"But of course, I understand why you would ask those questions. Any reasonable person would ask that but I guess you'd have to be in position to find the answer" he spoke again, shrugged and turning around to continue walking.

"But I do now understand your motives. I do understand what you went through…" I sighed and I heard him stop in his tracks and slowly turn to me.

"How?" He asked, a bit confused and I slowly brought my eyes to him.

"Because…I was in your very same position" I never knew how hard it was to admit it to someone. Aaron's face projected his shock but I guess, I expected.

"You mean…"

"My boyfriend fell in love with my cousin, while we were still together" I sighed with a weak smile. Aaron slowly walked back to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Whoa, you serious?"

"As I'll ever be…and I guess I didn't get such a positive closure than you did" I said, gazing at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I try to block them out. I don't talk to him or my cousin. I just can't…I just get so angry…it just reminds of…" I explained but then he cut me off.

"I know, I get it. But Leah, expressing any types of emotions as resentment and anger will not advantage anyone and drive people away from you even more. Answer me this…do you…_honestly_ hate them? Or forget the guy, do you want to hate your cousin? Do you want to resent her for the rest of her life for something that wasn't even totally her fault?" He asked me, sincerely.

I of course was going to answer yes but something stopped me. Maybe I didn't want to hate Emily. I didn't want to keep doing this. I was tired and I felt…like it was not worth it anymore. I did once care a lot about Emily and maybe there is a tiny part of me that had already forgiven her but it's just covered by anger, pain and resentment. I am slowly starting to accept it and maybe…even accept Emily.

"No…No, I don't" I answered.

"Then don't make her your enemy. As for the guy, just think of it as his loss…" Aaron chuckled and then lightly cupped my chin. "He probably wasn't worth it, anyways"

"_He's not worth it… He never was"_ those similar words rushed through my head except from a different voice, a familiar voice, a soothing voice. I felt the heat rush through my cheeks and I slowly pulled away from Aaron, running my hand through my hair.

"Whoa, this has surely been intense" Aaron, dropping his hand and laughing away the tension. It's amazing how just this guy made me realize how much I actually missed Emily. Made me realize to make a future for myself than being haunted by the past.

"How do you do it?" I asked and started walking with him again.

"Do what?"

"I mean, I've known you for like a few days and somehow you're just able to understand and know stuff about me"

"That's because Leah Clearwater, you're not that hard to read. You may sometimes act like a closed shell but by compressing these emotions inside will just make you suffer and it can show. You shouldn't let that happen. But open and just express" he stated, throwing his arms in the air and I rolled my eyes.

"Plus, I'm a mind reader" he whispered.

"Sure, you are" I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. I was actually close to almost believing him. Can you blame me? This guy is just astonishing.

"This is turning out to be a good day" he spoke.

"It is" I answered, honestly.

"Enough to make you want to go out with me?"

"I'm already going out with you"

"Not officially"

"What is with you and making things official?" I chuckled, tossing my candy floss stick in the trash can.

"I only make it official if needed to"

"What have we been doing these days?"

"This is called hanging out and acquainting. Now, I'm asking you out…on an actual date."

"You're crazy" I snorted and walked ahead of him.

"Oh come on, Leah. I'm asking you out!" He called out from behind me. I'm guessing he was still rooted on his spot as I walked away.

"This is ridiculous" I said, over my shoulder and continued to walk away. Aaron was really fun today. We played a ton of games and went on the Ferris wheel, and even had a hot dog contest. For a person who is not a werewolf, he sure can hound a dog. And now this guy is telling me that this isn't a date? What is a date to him then? I wonder what he's trying to pull on me…

"Hello? Check, check…Okay, Hi everyone…sorry to interrupt this amazing magician's trick but I have a problem…" I heard a voice echo from a bunch of amplifiers. I froze in my spot. _Oh no, he just did not._ I watched as people in front of me turned to face the stage. I turned slowly to see Aaron on top of the stage, leaning against the magician's table with the microphone in his hand. What the hell is he doing?

"Hi everyone…My name's Aaron" He announced and I face palmed my head. What is he thinking? I don't think he's even thinking.

"Hi Aaron" I heard a couple kids reply as well as some of their parents. I crossed my arms across my chest, glaring at him but he wasn't looking at me but at the audience, who were dumbly listening to him.

"Okay so I have a small problem. There's this girl…" he said and a couple of people made some 'ohh' and 'woohoo' sounds. I rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, I've been hanging out with her for a few days now and I think that she's amazing. She's beautiful and smart and witty and so different from other girls…" he continued. Is he trying to embarrass me? But I had to admit, I did feel a bit of heat rush to my cheeks at his description.

"She thinks that I'm crazy and maybe I am but mainly cause she's just plain awesome" _oh, he's killing me here._

"What's the problem?" Someone from the audience shouted out.

"The problem is that she won't go out with me for an official date. She's being really stubborn" he stated. Wow_, thanks_ a lot.

"But I know that it won't be a mistake if she went out with me because I won't make her regret it. I could be someone who…could be worth it" and the moment he said that, his eyes met mine. A bunch of 'aww's in the crowd were heard as my arms dropped instantly and I felt my face almost become completely flushed.

"So Leah…" he declared and pointed at me, which caused everyone to turn to look at me. Oh great, this is soo embarrassing. "Please go out with me. I promise I'll be good and I'll pay. And we'll have fun. And if not, then…pay you and we'll call it even."

Chuckles were made in the crowd before they all started to plead me to accept his request.

"Come on, Leah", "Look at him, he's soo cute", "He really likes you", "You will not regret it" and even a "Ditch him and come with me" was said in the crowd. I gazed helplessly at all these strangers pleading with me to give Aaron a chance while he was still on stage with a huge smile on his face. At the moment, my answer seemed obvious enough but this guy wanted things to be said official so…

"Okay, I'll go out with you!" I gave in."Just…get off that stage"

"Really?" He beamed, still holding the mic to his mouth.

"Yes, now get off the stage!" I hissed, crossing my arms again. He smiled as he jumped off the stage and made his way to me, while audience sort of cheered.

"You better get your check book out..." I stated, unable to suppress a frown. He chuckled and moved closer to me.

"I don't think I'll need it" he said, with a hint of his cockiness.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked, with a raised eyebrow as we walked away from the crowd.

"Just have a pretty good feeling" he shrugged and showed his smile.

I know that I was in a bad place but now I feel like I'm in a safe zone. I feel like I think I'm completely able to move past everything that has happened over the years or months ago and Aaron was my shot to possibly…having a future? Maybe, who knows? I mean, I finally found a guy who likes me for me and who understands me without even asking me much and has nothing holding him back. He's in a safe place too. He is almost like my _safety_ harbor, away from all the wolf drama and I might be able to go on board with him. It's safer and I guess also right.

"…Me too" I answered, ignoring the teeny tiny uncertainty coursing through my chest.

* * *

**HEHEHEH. By saying 'sorry', does it count for how sorry I am, that this chapter wasn't out soon enough? I guess not :S My bad. It's just that lately I've been soo de-motivated, it's soo annoying. I realized that I work faster on my laptop than I do on my computer because I feel less distracted so I'm trying to move all my work to my laptop. Plus it was dad's birthday recently so for three days I was barely at home. I'm trying to get my motivation back soon, I'll try.**

**This chapter I am not happy with it. It's short and sort of vague. I'm really sorry about that and I hope you at least understand what's happening though. This chapter was supposed to be out sooner since I'm going to concentrate more on the next two chapters.**

**Btw, I'm going to be travelling about mid-august so I'll most probably come up with two chapter before I travel and then I'll carry my laptop so I can write more but I won't post them until I'm back which is about the end of August (my laptop doesn't have internet. Fail) **

**REVIEWS PLEASE. I know I don't deserve your guys patience but still, it's the reviewers that makes me keep working on this story so please =D**

**Oh, I watched Eclipse on the premiere (The first screening for full) Anyways, I can't really judge it at the moment mainly because there were some technical problems such as the movie stopping about 5 times in the theatre (my friend thought it was a sign :P I may agree). I'm probably going to go again with my cousin (who loved the movie a lot) so that I can judge it fairly. At the moment I think that Eclipse and New Moon are at the same level but I feel that I'm edging a bit towards New Moon. I don't know, I have see it again :P **

**I hope the people in the theatre don't hate on me again xD Well, this is what happens when you're the only wolf girl and the rest of the theatre are team Edward or Bella lovers -.- Every single time I watch a twilight movie, it's the same issue. Plus, I also have this tendency to comment on a lot of things like Bella's gayness. So I'll post my review on it probably on the next chapter so yeah.**

**That's all for now.**


	21. Take Care Of My Girlfriend

**Jacob Black**

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been about a year since I last wrote, right? Well, I guess I didn't want to make it a habit. I need to still contain my manliness. But somehow, today I felt like I had to tell someone what happened. So I couldn't tell dad or Rachel or Rebecca because they would laugh at me and tease me, so I decided you're my next best thing. _

_Okay well, where do I start? Right, anyways, right now I'm doing really well. I'm on the football team; a line backer. Cool no? And I have to admit that a lot of the cheerleaders have been paying a lot of attention to me. Ha-ha, Quil's getting jealous. That girl Lisa, who Embry said really likes me, well she asked me out. I didn't know exactly what to say, I didn't want to hurt her but I had my mind on someone else._

_There's this girl who I apparently had known for years. I might have written about her. Anyways, her name is Isabella Swan, Bella for short. She's cute, and she's about two years older than me but she doesn't totally treat me like a kid which is cool. She's different and apparently when we were young, we used to make mud-pies together. That's embarrassing. Anyways, she's not officially my girlfriend but I can so tell that she loves hanging around with me. She's Chief Swan's daughter and the problem is that she doesn't live with him in Forks. So I don't see her all the time which sucks. I miss her terribly sometimes. Okay, that was such a chick thing to say but it's true._

_There is just something about her that really calls me in. She doesn't talk as much as the girls in my school do, she doesn't wear make-up or dresses a lot and she keeps a lot to herself. Quil tells me that she's a 'lost case' and that she'll never be into a guy like me. Sucks, again._

_Anyways, when I was wondering about my so called relation with Bella, I was taken for a spin. I don't know if it was good or bad._

_

* * *

_

I was walking down the beach, just kicking the sand underneath my bare feet. I sighed as I sunk my hands deeper into my shorts, crumpling a bit of my white shirt in the process. Bella had just left a few days ago for Phoenix and I missed her a lot. Normally when she's around, I would only focus mainly on her. There aren't many girls that I talk to or that I really pay attention to, but for some reason Bella is an exception. Something about her struck me and I wasn't sure what it was. Have I met any girl like her or made me feel like this?

_I sighed, sinking my hands deeper into my trunks, and tore my gaze from the beach to the sand. My eyes slowly trailed up the beach before I came to a stop. Whoa. The sitting figure turned its gaze to me and its eyes narrowed for a second before a smile appeared on its face._

"_Hey Jacob" she greeted, wrapping her arms around her knees. I took in a small gulp and made my way towards her, a small smile itching on my lips._

"_H-hey Leah" I replied, standing next to her, looking down at her._

"_I haven't seen you around in a while…where have you been, Black?" Leah asked, looking up at me with those brown eyes._

"_Hmm…just around" I said, running my hand through my hair._

"_Ah, is there a girl?" _

"_Wh-what?" I looked at her, taken back but she just smiled at me._

"_I visited your house a couple of times, mainly for the twins and they mentioned about a… Swan girl" she said, giving me a knowing look. I took in another gulp._

"_Hmmm…o-oh, that's nothing. She's a…a friend" I stated. _

"_Really?" she asked me, raising her eyebrow._

"_Yeah… do you know he-her?"_

"_Yeah Dad, he knows Charlie Swan. Never met the girl but…I don't know" _

"_Oh…" was all I said, as I kicked a bit of sand under my feet. She sighed and turned her gaze back at the beach. I slowly brought my head to take in her beauty. Man, I totally forgot how pretty she was. Bella looked soo…normal compared to Leah. While Bella was pale and small, Leah was copper and long. Bella had messy brown light curls and small freckles on her cheekbones, while Leah has straight black hair and high cheekbones. _

_I could go on and on but somehow these two woman have almost…the same effect on me…is it possible? Does Leah really affect me the way Bella does? Like I want to see her more? Like I want to hear her speak? Like I want her to smile at my name the way I do at hers? _

_Jacob, what are you thinking? Even if I do, hypothetically, like her a lot…it's not like she'll ever consider me. I mean, she has that show off for that. No, I don't like her. I can't like her cause I could never like someone like…her who dates him._

"_Hmm…I heard you were dating Uley…" I said, softly huffing at the end. I looked up to see her tense for a second, still staring at the horizon._

"_Hmm…yeah" she sighed and then slowly tilted her head down to her knees. Okay, shockingly, that wasn't the reaction that I was expecting. I mean, everyone talks about how great Sam Uley is –gags- and practically every girl in school wanted to go out with him. I thought Leah would be jumping for joy about that so called perfect man. But actually, I guess Leah isn't like other girls. Of course she isn't, but still…did something happen? Oh my god, she doesn't like him anymore? YEEEEES. Wait, why am I so happy?_

_I heard her sigh again and I gazed at her. Man, she looks…really down. What did that jackass do? Why is it bugging me soo much? Why do I have this need to say…_

"_Hey Leah? Are you okay?" I asked her._

"_Huh?" she looked at me and then looked back the sea. "Yeah…I'm fine"_

_She didn't sound fine. I walked closer to her before contemplating if I should do anything or not. I mean I hadn't seen this girl in a while and now…I sighed and slowly dropped down next to her, resting my arms on my bent knees. No harm in seeing what's wrong, right?_

"_You know that you can tell me?" I told her._

"_It's nothing, Jake."_

"_Then why do you seem down?"_

"_I'm not…"_

"_Yes, you are"_

"_Jake, it's nothing…"_

"_Is it your parents?"_

"_No" she sounded that she was getting tired of my asking but she was answering me, so that's a start._

"_Is it school?"_

"…_No"_

"_Is it friends?"_

"_No, Jacob, it's not…" but something in her voice was betraying her._

"_Is…it Sam?" I asked her, carefully. There was a moment of silence before she turned her gaze to me and just looked at me, with slight furrowed eyebrows. I got my answer._

"_Ah" I said and gazed at the sea, resting my body on the palms of my hands. _

"_It's none of your concern" she stated._

"_What did he do?" I asked and she let out a small sort of sigh slash chuckle before turning her gaze to me._

"_You're unbelievable" _

"_Hey, I'm trying to help"_

"_I don't think it's something you can help me with"_

"_Try me"_

"_Jake…you're just a kid" ouch, that kind of hurt._

"_Try me…" I replied again, sincerely. She gazed at me for a moment before turning her head back towards the ocean, closing her eyes. Goddamit, why does she look soo appealing to me? Not cool!_

"_What did he do?" I asked again, turning my gaze to the sea._

"_It's nothing particular that he did…I don't know, I'm just…"_

"…_You're just…?" I continued her sentence and she let out another sigh._

"_Having second thoughts…" and that was when my eyes nearly popped out of my skull. I stared at her face, but she continued to keep her eyes closed. Whoa, did she just say that she might consider breaking up with THE Sam Uley? I'm dreaming right? Shit, I'm dreaming!_

"_A-as in…?" I asked to make sure. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she continued to gaze at the waves dancing on the surface of the ocean. _

"_As in…if being with Sam is the right thing. I mean of course, I feel that it's right. It feels soo right but lately, it's been off. Sam's been a bit off and it's not like totally how it was when we first started dating. I don't know what I'm saying. I first thought that maybe it was because Dad's not all that fond of Sam…but he knows that Sam's a good guy and he is; Sam's an amazing guy. But for some reason…I feel this teeny sinking feeling…that…I'm worried about. I didn't think I would be…but…" she sighed and looked down at her lap. I gazed at her confused beautiful face. She seemed so troubled. I've never seen Leah this troubled. She was always smiling and so strong but…she was a girl after all. In the end, she cares and thinks like a girl. _

"_So…what you're saying is that you think something bad is going to happen…involving you and Sam? And you don't know what to do?" I slowly contemplated out loud, looking down at the sand, making scratches on its surface with my fingers_

"_Huh? Yeah… I mean, I don't know! It sounds retarded but… I don't even know what I'm telling you this—"I cut her off, letting out a small humorless chuckle._

"_It's completely retarded. Especially for you" I said. _

"_Excuse me?" she huffed and I could feel her hard gaze on me. I looked up at her and knew that for some reason I'm gonna hate myself for saying it…but it was the right thing._

"_That's the reason why you're considering…breaking off? With Sam?" I asked._

"_Well, I don't know—"_

"_Leah, risks are meant to be taken. Sam may be acting weird and you have a weird feeling…but all that matters is…-sigh- you guys love each other, right? Screw the feeling, everyone has that once in a while. Why would you want to toss away something that makes you soo happy for just an inkling?" I explained, drawing on the sand again. Damn, this good conscience!_

_I sighed and looked up at Leah, only to see a small smile grow on her face, which caused me to heat up really quick. Why does she have to smile at me like that?_

"_Wow…" she smiled and I looked away to hide my rosy cheeks._

"_Wow…" she said it again. Why does she keep repeating it? Is she really THAT surprised?_

"_I'm not that DIM! No matter what Rachel and Rebecca say!" I huffed, gazing at her with furrowed eyebrows. She bursted out laughing, rocking on the sand. _

"_No, no…it's not that…well, not totally that but…" she slowly started to calm down and gaze at me with those beautiful eyes. "It's just that…it just reminded me of…your mom. She would have probably said the same words."_

_I gazed at Leah, almost dumbstruck. My mom? Really? I never thought about it and I had totally forgotten that Leah was really close to mom. Mom practically called Leah her third daughter. I missed mom. I smiled at Leah and then again looked at the sea, to hide my red cheeks. Leah giggled and moved her gaze back at the sea, crossing her legs under her long throw on. _

_We moved past that topic and started talking about the general things. It was amazing how much I could open up to Leah. She remembered Embry and Quil and she also stated that her little brother has sort of an obsession with me, which creeped me out a bit. Why the hell was I never home when she was home? I never knew it would be this fun._

"_You see that rock over there?" Leah said, pointing at a huge rock which almost looked like an island in the middle of the sea. "I call that 'Swimmer's Rock' because of lack of a good name, and also that it's soo far that I think only professionals can get there."_

"_Cool…" I said._

"_I reckon that the view from there would be beautiful during sunset or sunrise, maybe"_

"_How can you say that?"_

"_Cause apart from a particular spot on the beach and the cliffs, that rock is directly proportional to the sun. So it's like seeing a close up of the sun, a better view of it" She sighed and leaned forward over her crossed legs. "I've always wanted to go on that rock and see that sunset."_

_I bit my lip and gazed at the enormous rock that seemed so fricking far from the beach and then back at Leah. Oh no, here goes my brain without properly thinking again! I really need to control my actions!_

"_We can do it" I said. She looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I am. Not maybe, I am crazy._

"_What? You're kidding right?" she stated and I just shook my head. She raised her eyebrow._

"_Jake, I'm on the swim team but I'm not that good" she said and I got up._

"_It doesn't matter. Come on, it's worth a try. I know that we can make it" I said, gazing at the rock. It can't be that far, right? I turned back to her. "I got a feeling."_

_She just gazed at me, shocked before a huge smile took over her face._

"_Fine…we'll do it, together" she smiled, getting up. I smiled and then went on to pulling my shirt over my body, and removing my sandals. It's a good thing that I always wear trunks when I come to the beach. All La Push kids do that. I turned to my side to see Leah slowly pull her throw on, off her body and revealing her body in a dark blue bikini. Holy…damn. I swear, I felt myself get hot and my mouth got dry. Maybe it's a good thing that we're going in the water. Can a girl be this fit? Why are you thinking like this, Jake? You can't think like this, at all!_

_She threw her throw on, on the ground and dropped down her mini shorts and Oh no… I looked away, trying to get my head on the right track again. What is happening to me? I mean, I see girls all the time on the beach then why now am I getting all…giddy? _

"_Hmm…Jake?" I heard her call and I turned to face her, trying to take low calm breaths. "You ready?" _

"_Yeah, I am" I answered, wearing a small smile. _

"_How about a race?" she asked and I looked at her raise her eyebrows in excitement. "Heard you like competition"_

"_Yeah, I do"_

"_Coincidence, so do I" she smirked at me. Why the hell did I find that soo sexy on her?_

"_Ready?" she asked, getting ready to make a dash for the water so I got ready as well._

"_1, 2…3!" and then we were off. I dove into the water and started kicking my feet in various directions and throwing my arms all around in the water, to make myself move faster in the water. Swimming wasn't my strongest forte but I didn't suck that much either. But once I looked to see where Leah was, I knew that I sucked when it came to swimming with her. Damn, how the hell does she move that fast? She was about 10 feet away from me, and she wasn't even struggling that much. Well, I guess with a body like that, just consider yourself gifted. What the…dude, this is Sam's girl you're talking about! Off limits, definitely off limits! She loves Sam and she told you that too! GOD, STOP! _

_That's when I felt it. I felt a sharp pain clamp onto my foot, making me stop paddling and groan in pain. What the fuck? I couldn't move, but most importantly I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I could feel the water entering my mouth, making me choke on it as it forced itself down my throat. Shit! I tried to yell for someone but no one was around the beach today and Leah was probably way to ahead to hear me. A wave enveloped me and my full body was underwater. I tried to kick up but it just hurt more. Oh no, no, no…_

_I felt another grip. This time on my arm and instead of hurting me even more, it pulled me up to the surface. I gasped, taking in air and blinking my eyes a couple of times, removing the salt in the process. I felt the grip slowly pull me through the surface of the water and I just floated along with it. I took my other hand and rubbed my eyes only to see wet black hair, bobbing on the surface of the water. I felt its leg kick me by mistake as she swam ahead. She turned to see that I was alright and I was shocked to see the face of a wet Leah. How did she know that I was…_

"_Jake, are you okay?" she asked, taking in a bit of water in her water as she continued to swim. I wanted to say something but then I noticed that, we weren't going the right direction. We were heading towards shore. Wait, what about that rock? Finally, I felt the sand underneath my feet and Leah slowly let go off my arm. I slowly limped on the seabed, trying to avoid exerting pressure on foot with the catch. Leah waited on shore for me and when I reached her, I felt the catch slowly decrease. _

"_Jake, are you alright?" she asked, placing her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her and nodded, pulling my body to a straight position and shaking my leg. The pain descended and I patted my foot on the ground a couple of times before setting it down properly._

"_How did you know…?" I asked her._

"_You didn't think that I wouldn't check on you. I tend to go easy on my competition…if I like them" she said, tossing her wet hair behind her shoulder. I chuckled, looking down, hiding my again rosy cheeks. Why am I acting like such a chick? I'm soo not normal._

"_Well…I'm fine now, so let's go again" I announced, clapping my hands together._

"_Are you crazy? I think we had a good try today" she stated._

"_But you said that you wanted to go there so badly…"_

"_I will…one day, I just might. Or maybe…we will" she smiled at me. Whoa, did she just say that? We? As in me and her? Really? I couldn't stop a huge ass grin to plant itself on my face and I ran my hand through my drenched hair._

"_Leah!" I heard someone from the distance call out. I looked over Leah's shoulder to see none other than Samuel Uley, walking down the beach towards us, in his oh-so-cool walk and he threw his arm in the air and signaled a wave to us, well Leah. I felt my eyebrows automatically furrow when Leah turned to see him and I could notice a smile play on her face. Sam Uley has a natural ability to make me feel annoyed but for some reason, this was a lot different. It really, really bugged me. Leah turned and picked up her throw on and wore it, slipping into her slippers. She…was leaving? Just like that?_

"_This was really fun, Jake" she said._

"_Yeah…It was" I wasn't lying at all._

"_We should do this more often"_

"_Yeah…" why am I feeling all odd all of the sudden? I was talking like crazy before but now it's all…weird? Leah smiled, picking up her shorts and turned and started walking towards Sam. I sighed, looking away at the sea. Oh well, I guess…it was good while it lasted. I mean, it wasn't anything big or anything. It was just a hang out…with a girl. That's all. It's nothing exceptional or anything. It's just a friend and friend hangout and it was cool._

_I turned to face the happy couple only to see Leah stop halfway and jog back to me, biting her lip. Before I could ask her what was wrong, she planted a kiss on my cheek. The moment her soft lips imprinted itself on my cheek, I felt everything that was rushing through my head, come to a blank. _

"_Thank you, Jake…" She whispered in my ear. I felt my heart jump up into my throat and took a small gulp in._

"_F-for…wh-what?" I unsurely stuttered. She slowly pulled away from my face and gazed at me, only a couple centimeters away from my face. So close that if I dipped forward, I would be able to feel her lips on my own. She let out a small giggle and my heart pounded even more._

"_For…hmm…being you" she concluded and slowly moved away from me. Yeah, all my heat is in my face right now. She bit her lip, smiling and slowly backed away. Oh…I wish she would never look away but alas, she turned away and started jogging towards Sam._

_My gaze met with Sam and I swear, I felt almost a smidge of intimidation in his eyes for some reason before he gave me this sort of approval-hello- nod, which I returned as well. The moment Leah came closer to him, his face lit up and he threw his arm around her waist, pulling her in. She giggled and then they turned and started walking down the beach. _

_I sighed, gloomily as I watched that lucky son of a gun walk away with Leah. And then I saw Leah look over her shoulder and threw me that gorgeous smile before walking further and further away, which made my insides twist and melt and do all sorts of stuff._

_What the hell is this? I mean…I placed my hand on my chest and felt my heart beat like crazy. Why do I feel like this? I've sort of felt like this with Bella but not to this extent. I mean, why do I feel like I want to keep seeing her? Why did I have this urge to kiss her or just hold her? Why did I have this urge to punch Sam, not for being who he is, but for who he is with? Why did I mentally want to hate myself when I told Leah to stay with Sam, when in real fact, I was happy if she was without him? _

_What does this mean? I mean…could I possibly have…for Leah Clearwater? All that I know though is that…it's not impossible. And nothing is really stopping me…not even Sam._

* * *

And that's what made me head out the door. You'd think each day would get clearer and clearer, but for some reason, I feel like I still fighting the fog to figure out what is going on. And my destination was again…The Clearwater's household.

* * *

Here I am again…in front her house door and again, contemplating what to do. _What the hell is wrong with me? I already did this before._ I turned the knob and not totally surprised that the door was unlocked. Almost everyone in La Push don't really care about _extra _security since we're here to protect our land and all. I walked in, again, expecting a sleepy Seth and dreaded to be proved wrong and see a sweaty Embry instead (might I add, again), but thank god, that didn't happen again. Neither Seth nor Embry were around. Actually the whole house looked empty. I walked into their living room and started to look around for any whatsoever source of life. That's when I heard someone coming down the stairs. From the corner of the wall, came down Leah, who seemed to be fiddling with something in her ears.

Holy shit, did she look good. She was a sleeveless V-neck red dress that reached mid thigh. Perfect to show those beautiful long legs, and she seemed to be wearing eyeliner and lipstick, true to her lip color. _Whoa, dress and makeup? Someone got a camera?_ I realized that it was the same dress that Alice had bought for her and I smuggled into Leah's closet; it's the same dress that I liked. Leah was soo busy putting her hoops that she didn't notice me, almost floored by her looks. She looks…she always has but when she emphasizes her beauty, there is no question to how gorgeous she really is.

I heard her softly cheer after finally being able to hook on her hoops. She straightened out her dress and turned to see me…most probably wide eyed at her because she looked totally taken back.

"Whoa, Jacob? Wh-what are you doing here? Now?" she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. I shook my head out of my recent…thoughts and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Hmm…I just thought I'd see you. It's been a while so…I wanted to say…hi?" I unsurely said. What the hell is wrong with me? All I can seem to think about is how good Leah looks. Leah placed her hands on hips and raised her eyebrow at me. I'm guessing she's not buying it?

"Okay…? Hi…" she replied, with a weary smile. I let out a small chuckle.

"Hmm…I thought if you want to hang out or something?" I asked, hopefully.

"Now?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Huh, yeah? Are you going…out somewhere? Judging by the way….your…" I said, indicating at her, which made her feel almost insecure all of the sudden. Why all of the sudden?"

"Hmm…actually, ye-yeah…I am. So if you don't mind…" she spoke, rocking back and forth and then indicated the door for me. _I know where the door is._ I think she wants me to leave.

"Getting rid of me? How mean, lee" I pouted and she rolled her eyes.

"Well, that happens when you come, uninvited"

"Hey, I've been doing that for years and you didn't mind"

"I always did. I was just too nice person to say anything"

"AHAH! Nice person, really Lee?" I chuckled and she narrowed her eyes at me. _Damn it, she looks even hotter now._

"Fine…leave now" she rolled her eyes.

"No, no, say it with love" I smirked and she scowled at me. She let a frustrated sigh and turned to leave only to stumble a bit, making her dress rid up her thighs a bit more. Oh shit, why the hell does she have to wear that around me? I could feel a small part of my cheeks heat up a bit. What the fuck is wrong with me? Even though I keep asking myself that question, I can never ever find the right answer.

She sighed and then turned to me, scratching her head, looking half annoyed and half embarrassed. For some reason, a smile danced on my face which made her even more annoyed but at the same time, she seemed like she was restless and in a hurry. What could possibly be up?

"Listen Jacob, not in the mood" She said, rubbing her head.

"When have you ever?" I snorted.

"Seriously…not now. I'm going out, like I said" she suddenly glared at me. Okay, I think I should tone it down. I actually had forgotten the reason I came here. It's just been impulse lately for me to come to Clearwaters because it's like a second home anyways. I raised my hands in surrender.

"Good…we'll talk later if you want to" she sighed in victory. "What am I forgetting? Shoes, right!"

I watched her run upstairs to get shoes. Damn, never seen her act like such a total chick before. I sighed, rubbing my head, wondering what was I going to do anyways? Talk to Leah…about what? The fact that I could have possibly liked her? And prove what? It's stupid. It was in past. How the fuck does it affect anyone now? It's nothing big. Everyone had a crush on Leah sometime back then. So… I was one of them. I really need to see a doctor about my dysfunctional brain.

I reached out for the knob, only to be cut off by someone else knocking on the door. Huh, okay so _this_ person knocked…so that can't be Seth or any of the pack members. I opened the door excepting to be some girl that Leah probably ran into and was forced to hang out with. Damn, do I hate being wrong.

In front of me, stood a guy, of course shorter than me and a lot leaner. He was fair skinned with a beach tan and blue eyes, while he was wearing dark blue jeans and a black leather jacket over his white shirt. What the hell is this guy doing here, on Leah's porch, in the afternoon, looking well dressed? God, for the first time, I wouldn't mind at all if it were Embry.

"Can I help you?" I asked, feeling my forehead crease, holding my position in front of him. He looked up at me and seemed a bit appalled by me, but he seemed to shake it off pretty quickly.

"Oh, is Leah Clearwater around?" he asked, politely but that didn't make much of a difference to me. I crossed my arms across my chest as my gaze hardened on him.

"What's it to _you_?" I asserted, harshly. I think he could sense my tone but he didn't interject and just dug his hands deeper into his jeans' pockets. Who the hell is this guy? I've never seen him around here and how the hell would this kind of guy even know Leah? What the fuck is he even doing here?

Before he could respond, a clinking sound was heard coming down the stairs. Both our gaze turned to see Leah, almost hoping on one foot as she slipped into a silver heel. _Heels?_ Okay, what's going on?

"One minute, I'm just—" she called out, thinking that I wasn't there and that she had to open the door but when she looked up, she soo wished it was that. Shock just simply planted itself on her beautiful face when she saw me, blocking the doorframe and that other dude on the other side. She slowly stood up straight, gazing back and forth between me and him. Okay, what the fuck is going on? Even though my body was itching a bit since I could possibly know what is up but for some reason, I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"Jake…what are you still doing here?" she asked, with her eyes slowly trying to regain its original size. I didn't answer; I just narrowed my eyes at her as she slowly walked towards us, running a nervous hand through her hair.

"I thought you didn't do heels" I narrowed my eyes at her. Yes, pretty random I know.

"Hmm…well, it's not bad once in a while" she hesitantly answered.

"Hey Leah" that guy asserted with a smile as Leah stood in front of us, about half an inch taller than him in heels.

"Hey…you're a bit early" she softly replied, almost a bit tense.

"Well, have to make a first good impression, right?"

"_First_ impression?"

"You know what I mean" he winked at her. "By the way…you look…unbelievable"

"…Thanks" and I saw a smile slowly spread on her lips as she tried to cover her almost rosy cheeks. What the…is she fricking blushing? What the hell is this guy doing? And most importantly what the hell is Leah doing? Hello! I'm right here! Right next to you, guys!

"Okay…This is the part where the _explaining_ happens" I interjected with a hint of a snarl. They both looked at me, probably forgetting that I was glaring down at them. I kept my hardened look at Leah, slightly turning to her. "_Who_ the hell _is_ this?"

Leah's face crunched up a bit and then she rubbed her neck, finally deciding to give in…I think.

"Oh right!" she said, turning to Aaron. "Aaron, this is Jacob Black. Friend…of the family"

My eyebrows furrowed at her. Friend of the Family? What the hell? When did _that_ happen? I mean sure, it's true but still. What does that mean? I'm _just_ a friend of the family?

"And Jacob, this is Aaron Samuels" she turned to me. "He's…hmmm…"

"I'm Leah's boyfriend" …SAY WHAT? Boyfriend? _ThisguythatI'mnotgettingagoodfeelingfrom say what?_ I felt my arms drop down to my sides, and felt something small burst in me. I felt something just pour out, leaving me speechless. That was soo not what I wanted to hear. I cannot believe that. AT ALL!

From the corner of my eye, I could see Leah's eyebrows jump up as well since it somehow came as a shock to her too. What the fuck is this? When did this fucking happen?

"Well…this is our official date but I thought this is much more…" that guy said, gazing lovingly at Leah. Leah's face slowly relaxed, and she ducked her head a bit down, probably again to cover the heat in her cheeks or a teeny smile.

"So yeah…Hi" Aaron spoke, with a smile and then stuck his hand out me. I felt something fill me up. And suddenly a growl emerged from my chest as I looked at him. Aaron got startled for a minute, but then blinked a couple times before slowly dropping his arm down to his side. He gazed at me for a moment, narrowing his eyes.

"Hmm, anyways…did you guys have other plans planned today or something?" Aaron, almost curiously asked.

"What? Oh no, no…Jacob just came here to see my brother" Leah spoke, coming between the both of us. Brother? What the fuck does Leah think she's doing?

"Yeah…I thought I would wait for him" I decided to play along, sneering at them.

"Seth's at his girlfriend's place so…" Leah stated, rubbing the side of her arm.

"It's okay, I'll wait. Anyways, I can lock up since I do know this house, inside out" I smirked at her. She gazed at me, a bit uneasily and I saw Aaron's eyebrows crunch up for a second. Leah closed her eyes, slowly rubbing the side of her temple and then sighed.

"Hmm…fi-fine, we'll be leaving and…see you around, Jacob" she sighed, walking away from me.

"Nice meeting you…_Jacob_" Asshole said, and then caught up with Leah's walking. I felt small snarl work its way to my lips and couldn't help my body from tensing a bit. _What the fuck up with this guy?_ Due my wolf senses, I could hear couple of the few murmurs that Leah and that guy shared.

"Wow, he's… different" _Aaron_ softly said.

"He has a…weird way of expressing himself" Leah unsurely stated.

"Huh…So you say, because I swear, I heard him…almost _growl_ at me"

"That's…c-crazy"

"Don't think he likes me…" _Aaron_ stated as a fact, as opened the door for Leah.

"Oh co-come on Aaron…" Leah tried brush it off as she got into the car and Aaron closed the door. He then walked to the other side but then turned his gaze to me, almost observing me. I could feel myself tense again and my hard gaze tried to burn through his face. He slowly looked away and got into his car, starting the car. I continued to look at him before I turned to gaze at Leah, who looked at me for a second before turning her attention to her side window as the car backed out of the driveway and heading towards the road.

Annoyance crawled my skin at _that_ guy. God, why is he soo agitating? Why the hell would Leah chose _him_? When did Leah even meet him? Why didn't she even tell me? How could she not tell anyone that there is _someone else_ in her life? Did Seth know? Is he really her boyfriend? I ran my hand through my hair, slamming the front door shut as I dragged my feet into the empty house.

* * *

Popping another crisp from the packet that was resting on my bare stomach into my mouth, I continued to flicker through the channels, stretching my feet on the coffee table and resting my head back on my shirt that I converted into a pillow. It had been hours since Leah left the house with that jerk and I had taken over the house. Seth didn't come home but he left a message saying that he staying longer at his girlfriend's house and then go for patrols from there. It's nice to know that, that kid has a life, and a choice to be with anyone he wants to be with. Of course, the elders or Sam wouldn't think it's such a _wise_ idea but I don't want to put a damper on that kid's life.

Finally, I heard the sound of engine stop in the driveway. They were finally back, but in the fricking evening? What the hell did they do? I got off the couch and strolled to the window, dusting some of the crisps off me. I peered through the curtains and saw that guy open the door for Leah. _Trying to be a gentleman now, are we?_ She got out with a huge smile on her face and said a couple of words which they both laughed at. I felt my face consolidate as he pulled her by the hand and turned her to face him, so her back was facing me. He murmured a couple of words and then slowly caressed her face. Why the hell is he caressing her face? It was time that I came up with a plan. Okay, time to intervene.

I opened the door and he didn't notice me since he was staring at Leah. Ugh, I got to get his attention now.

"Leah! Finally, you're back. I've been waiting for _you_" I called out, leaning against the doorframe, crossing my arms across my bare chest. Aaron's head instantly snapped up, dropping his hand in the process and gazed at me, with bewildered eyes. I saw Leah's back tense a bit before she slowly turned to face me. A smile no longer played on her face. Just a mixture of shock, anxiety and annoyance.

"J-Jake…what the hell are you still doing here?" she yelped.

"I've been waiting for you, like I _always_ I do…" I slyly spoke, with a small smirk dancing on my face. Aaron's face didn't change. He continued to gaze at me.

"What the hell? I told leave" she half snarled at me. God, this is getting good. _Really_ good.

"Well, you didn't mind…when I stayed _a lot longer_…on _other_ nights" I harmlessly smirked, untying my hands and then gripping both sides of the doorframe to expose my half naked chest. _So many wrong ideas, right?_ I felt Aaron's eyes jump up a bit and I could see Leah almost refraining herself from beating me. At least I'm getting the reaction that I do want. Before Leah could make her way up to me, Aaron finally decided to talk.

"I…think I should leave" _BINGO!_ Leah's expression changed and she instantly turned to face him.

"Wh-what? Already?" she stuttered. He turned his gaze away from me and looked at Leah, still with a bit of shock on him.

"Yeah…because it's late and…" he vaguely stated. I saw Leah's shoulder drop down and smirk stuck itself on my face.

"Oh" she merely whispered, rubbing the sides of her arms.

"This was…great."

"Yeah…it was"

"Hmm…see you around, Leah" he softly said, and then backed away a few steps and then turned towards his car. _Victory, all right_. Leah dropped her arms to the sides, watching him slowly walk to his car. _Jacob, you're the master_. This guy is no match.

Suddenly during my mini celebration in my head, Aaron stopped in his tracks. He turned and faced Leah, with an unpredictable look on his face. Then in three big strides, he walked towards Leah and then grabbed her face and kissed her.

That threw me off the loop. WHAT…THE…FUCK? My eyes widened and my grip on the doorframe, tightened. Leah was taken back too, but slowly I saw her body relaxed as she started to respond. He had his grip on her face and I saw her hands gradually, slid up his chest. My nose started to flare. My face hardened. My teeth were clenched. My body started to shake a bit. My nails literally dug into the wooden, making splinters pierce into my skin. But that wasn't what was pissing the hell out of me at the moment.

He slowly pulled away, and his gaze wasn't on Leah… but on me. _That fucking prick!_ He slowly moved his face near her ear, gazing at me, almost as he was…challenging me.

"Call me…" he whispered, huskily and slowly pulled away but not before his lips pulled up into a smirk for a split second at me. About 3 growls erupted from me as he slowly removed his hands from her face and got into his car. He gazed at Leah with an affectionate smile before leaving the driveway and dashed away.

I fucking underestimated this guy. It was almost like he knew what I was doing. He was fricking challenging me! He's trying to prove that he doesn't fucking care. He's not intimidated. My blood was boiling and I could feel myself losing control, and not in a werewolf way. He just ticked me off even more than that douche bag from Leah's party. Why the fuck is that?

After watching his car disappear, Leah slowly turned around, gently touching her lips and looked like she was in a sort of trance. I felt anger and another emotion take over my whole being. Leah slowly looked up and caught my gaze, which made her snap out from her trance and her previous fury took over. She growled as she stalked towards the house while I tore my hands away from the damaged doorframe.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House!" she shouted.

"What the fuck was that?" I snarled at her as she shoved past me into the house.

"LEAVE, BLACK!" She growled, clenching her fists.

"What were you fucking thinking?" I asked, stepping closer to her, shaking a bit.

"What was _I_ thinking? It was _kiss_, it was a fucking date!" she yelled.

"And what were you thinking of doing after that?" I roared.

"It's NONE of your GODDAMN business!" she scowled, shoving me but I didn't budge a bit. Even with 3 inch heels, Leah was a bit shorter than me.

"Really LEAH?"

"YES! What the fuck is your problem? Why the hell do you have to ruin this?"

"Ruin this? _Sorry_, for trying to look out for you!"

"_Looking_ OUT FOR ME? I _LIKE_ THIS GUY. HOW IS _THIS_ HELPING OUT?"

"Oh, that's what you think! He's not all that great, Lee!"

"WELL, WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT?"

"The _SAME GUY_ WHO SAVED YOU FROM THAT JERK AT YOUR PARTY!"

"Well, this is _different_! HE'S DIFFERENT! I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT A FRICKING DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!"

"WHAT MAKES YOU SURE?"

"Cause I JUST KNOW, OKAY? I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!"

"AND WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? WHAT _DID_ YOU WANT TO DO?"

"None of your concern! HECK EVEN IF I WANTED TO _FUCK_ HIM TONIGHT, I WOULD!"

That did it. Sending a loud growl, I grabbed Leah's shoulders and shoved her against the opposite wall, pinning her between me and the wall. Leah let out a half snarl and half groan, with half of her hair covering her face. I pressed myself against her, so that she was completely blocked and I let out pants of anger. She slowly shook her hair away from her face, and brought her hard eyes at me, panting a bit too.

My body lost control of its actions as face all of a sudden started to slowly roam only about a centimeter away from her face. My hot breath slowly roamed around her cheeks and jaw line, before my lips trailed her jaw. I heard Leah's breath suddenly hitch between her pants, and my arms slowly dragged itself down her waist, snaking around it and pulling her against me, keeping no space between us and the wall. My head slowly sunk down to the crook of her neck and a bit of my tongue slowly followed her collarbone with my lips. I heard Leah's heart slowly start to pick up speed and not because of anger.

My body was reacting so differently from the way it normally acts. For some reason, I couldn't stop. I placed a small kiss in the middle of her neck before dragging my lips up to her chin. Leah was almost limp in my arms, with her eyes staring at me bewildered and her lips slightly opened. God, why does she have to look like this? Even though she got soo heated after our argument, she looked even more divine to me. Leah let out almost an inaudible gasp when I softly brushed my lips against hers. Again, and again.

Aaron tasted her lips. But they aren't his to taste. I couldn't let him have Leah. He is not Leah's boyfriend. He doesn't belong with Leah. He's not for Leah. He will never have Leah.

Why am I feeling this way? Why am I doing what I'm doing right now? This was supposed to be _wrong_ but why the fuck did it feel _so damn right_? Why do I fucking want Leah? All of the sudden?

My brain had practically lost its power and now my body to telling me what I wanted, and so was a part of my heart. If this is so wrong, then why does this feel so right? The attraction was dead on but then there was a small ache for a reason. Something taking me away from this. Something warning me. Something reminding me. Something that I physically chose but almost unable to fulfill it. Something that was meant to be _the_ right choice. _The pull_.

I pulled away, backing away, gazing at Leah, who was looking at me with the same expression that was probably on my face as well. Everything rushed back. Everything that I had left unsure, everything that I doubted, all came rushing back and screamed one thing to me.

I've been kidding myself.

This was not all of sudden. It was something that I denied for…the best? The best for who though? All these doubts, all this confusion was because of my denial. Another man was the only way for me to see the reality. The other emotion that felt when Aaron was with Leah that fueled my anger to the extent that it was almost as bad as with Bella, was no annoyance but…_jealously_. It was more this time because I _actually_ felt threatened. I actually felt that I would lose _my_ Leah.

My past feelings were a crush…but could have been more and now, it _is_ more. _This…these feelings were and are not impossible._ Leah has always been a part of me. She just continued to grow and grow that…I _needed_ her. I _needed _Leah. What I most thought was harmless teasing were actually small out spills of my emotions for this girl. The fact that I was happy when I was away from the Cullens for a while was not just because of the pack, but almost of _relief_. Leah brought me a piece of freedom. A piece that I had forgotten existed. A part of me that was still alive and beating for _someone else _now.

Leah isn't just any girl to me; she never was. I don't just care about Leah or keep trying to protect her. I want to be with her. I want to share my time with her. I want to be the one to make her smile. I want to hold her. I want to stay with her.

It was fact, that I _loved_ her.

And that's when I ran for the forest.

**

* * *

**

BOOO!

**GOUMAYY! -.- (That's 'sorry' in Japanese) I'll explain. Like I said before, I went for vacation and it was long and I didn't arrive until the end of holidays. And then school started and it's CRAAP. But! What was worse was that I couldn't carry my laptop on vacation D: BUUT! Being as **_**dedicated**_** as I am, I actually wrote about 3 chapters (one being Fading Shadow) on my ITOUCH. That's right! I wrote about 3 almost complete chapters on an itouch! NOW IF THAT'S NOT DEDICATED THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! SO YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF ME -.- But even still, I did delay on posting, so sorry. There was an Itouch problem as well as the site was a bit malfunctioned. But here it is!**

**I shall post the next chapter by tomorrow or the day after (just to give people time from different time zones to review this chapter) But what did you think of this chapter? CLIFFHANGER! What will happen next? *gasps from audience* Stay tuned for next week's special! **

**PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! You guys are the reason I write these so SPEAK! xD**

**By the way, I did mention that I would post my review on Eclipse movie on this chapter. But I won't. Cause, I'm lazy (it's late -.-) and also I don't remember half of my comments, so I need to charge my memory, so maybe I shall on the chapter after the next chapter ;P until then, bye, my bebes. Oh and check my profile for new work or updates =D**

_**Who thinks that Twilight Fanfiction shall continue to live even after the movies are completed? Even after the franchise? And who would still continue to write twilight Fanfiction? **_

_**Oh, and who else is addicted to 'A Year Without Rain'? -.- DON'T JUDGE ME! **_


	22. Undisclosed Desires

**Leah Clearwater**

The loud patter of the raindrops and tiny hailstones against the windows was the only commotion circling within my empty house. Mom had officially moved in with Chief Swan and Seth was at Quil's house for the night.

So that just left me. All alone. By myself. With my thoughts.

You know those moments when you feel that when something doesn't add up but there is this feeling of hope cooped in your stomach and all you can do is hope for the best on what happens next?

Well, that is _soo not_ what I'm feeling right now.

I feel fricking lousy. Lousy and confused, lost and pathetic.

I know I pretty much repeated the same words again but that's how I'm feeling right now.

It has been a complete day since my date with Aaron.

_Aaron_. God, he's amazing and so sweet and not a bad kisser. Not a bad kisser, _AT ALL_. He could be everything that I ever wanted… yet why do I feel like he's not everything that I desire?

God LEAH, you're soo fucking annoying.

No, no…I'm not. It's that…that…_that_…jackass. Why...why did he have to open his yap? Or do the most idiotic things ever? Or be soo damn sexy at the same time?

…wait, that was _soo_ out of context.

Everything hasn't been stable ever since I started…developing feelings for my alpha. How fucked is that? Never, did I ever think that I would ever fall for Jacob Black.

Jacob fricking BLACK. That…that puppy that would follow and drool over Bella Cullen. That idiot who can never keep a straight mind about anything. That freak who HAD to imprint!

You'd think I would want to scream but right now, I couldn't. Confusion rushed through me.

Even after everything that has happened, our fights, our times apart from each other, our differences, our 'moving on'…why is it soo hard to let go?

I stretched my legs on the mattress of my mom's bed, my whole body completely tinted in blue as I sat in the dark house by myself. The rain started to hit down harder that even my faint breath couldn't be heard.

I mean, I moved on, right? Aaron is great and he's the perfect guy to actually have something with. With no rules, no complications and best of all, no imprint.

I sighed, and slowly rocked my head on the backboard to my right side so that I could view the side table cluttered with lots of things. I slowly extended my hand to the table, trailing my fingers down to the small drawer handle and gradually pulled it open. On top of a couple of books that I had placed in the drawer, was a necklace.

Not just any necklace, but a beautifully sculpted necklace that was made by hand and heart. Not just any home-made necklace, but a necklace made by someone who I can't seem to get out of my mind even though I try…soo hard.

_Jacob_…I brushed my finger tips on the wooden replica of the wolf. I slowly retracted my hand from the gift…

In that moment, I felt like I had him, I've got him, I'm holding on…till something makes us drift apart. Just slowly…and slowly.

Even though I keep telling myself that I'm moving on…then why do I keep holding on?

And lately…yesterday, these few days actually…I started to wonder why I feel…that maybe, he's making me hold on.

But why?

Why?

Why?

…Why?

_BAM! _

I heard it coming from the living room and saw the room door progressively slide open. I sat up, closing the drawer of the side table. I pulled my body off the bed, running my hand through my semi-messy hair. I started to drag my hand along the side of the bed as I walked across the room to reach to the door.

"Seth?" I called out, wondering if my brother came home early which I really doubted. I barely saw much of Seth since he's the only one that has a social life nowadays. There is no way that mom would come, since she's probably…too busy _catering_ to Charlie (Gag, Gag, Major Gag).

"Seth, is that you?" I called out again, slowly tugging my jersey down to my knees, only to have it ride up my thighs again. I pulled the door open and saw front door blown completely open, letting the wind and hailstones to enter. I came out of the room and leaned against the doorframe, ignoring the cold wind gush against my body, or the wet rain drenching the wooden floor.

My eyes were glued…on the dark figure, almost blocking most of the doorway. My breath was caught in my throat. Even though the shadow over his body was masking his rigged state, I could feel his hard gaze piercing through my corneas. It almost made me want to run away but I knew that I couldn't. I was trapped in his gaze.

_Jacob_.

My arms automatically wrapped itself around my body which was only draped with a really loose jersey. The way he was looking at me made me feel frightened. Not frightened that he looked like he might rip someone to shreds, even without being a wolf. I was frightened as to what would happen next…good or bad.

Everything was on pause before I noticed Jacob's body move about two large steps away from the wide open door and towards me. My breath hitched. I saw his face come out from the shadow as he took two more rigged steps, eyes locked on me. My breath hitched again.

I saw the tiny trails of rain slowly slither down his exposed chest, colliding with each other as they dripped off his body. His wet hair either hung loosely over his hard face or was glued onto his forehead.

He hadn't gone home since yesterday since he wore the same pants that he wore yesterday. He must have gone wolf but…why? And why is he here?

He let out an unsteady breath which made me almost jump out of my skin. I saw his eyelids fall over his eyes and I rubbed my legs together, feeling the chills run up my legs. And not because of the weather.

"…why?" I heard him softly grunt. It was really low but I could pick it up. I shook myself, taking in his voice and slowly straightening my body against the doorframe. Hearing his voice after a long nerve-wrecking silence felt like the air was crushing itself out of me.

"Why do you…have to make it…_soo hard_?" I heard him huskily question, slowly closing his eyes and moving his head from one side to the other side. Those uneasy and quivering feelings that were there a moment ago, twisted into confusion and a bit of frustration. What is that supposed to mean? What does _he_ mean by that?

"Hard?" I managed to croak out, trying to not let all my anger out but then I thought, screw it.

"Hard? _I'm_ the one making _this_ hard?" I slowly snarled between my teeth, getting rid of any sort of feelings that I ever felt around him. How can he pull the blame game on me? On me? All this time, he came back, just to blame me? I'm the only one who can do that to myself.

Jacob didn't respond. He just stood there, in that position not even bothering to look at me. My teeth lightly clenched as I crossed my arms across my chest. I looked to the side, letting out a humorless huff before looking back at him.

"How the _fuck_ can you say that?" I said. He still didn't look up. I was getting frustrated and frustrated by the minute.

"You think I wanted this to happen? Do you think I wanted ANY of this happen? BELIEVE ME when I say, that I SO did not want this, do you hear me?"

Still, no response.

"And you think that you can just come here and start playing the BLAME GAME on ME? Well, fuck you, BLACK. FUCK YOU!"

His body was still motionless, in that rigged position, not even bothering to look up at my fuming face. That just made me even madder. But more than mad, I was hurt. What…what had I done to deserve this?

"I guess, I have to be the one to apologize though so here it is. I am sorry, sorry that I ever liked you, sorry that I ever wanted to do ANYTHING with you, I'm sorry that I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE DIFFERENT, and I'm sorry that I'M THE REASON THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG!"

I watched him cringe but he still didn't dare to look at me. I felt hurt that still he couldn't look at me. Look me in the eye and speak to me or say something…but no, he didn't. He doesn't care. He probably…never did. After taking in some hoarse calming breaths, I ran my hand through my hair and decided to just get over with it.

"You know what? What are you even doing here? What do you want? It's clear that you don't want to be here or doing anything with me, so why are you here? Why are you doing ANY OF THIS if you don't care about me?"

That's when his head snapped up at me, with eyes that screamed surprise. I saw his eyebrows crunch up together before his body slowly turned itself to me. I maintained my posture and position, taking in what seemed like, his confusion.

"_Not_ care?" he almost whimpered. I looked away, biting the inside of my mouth, not able to even look at him for I was hurt. I was frustrated, irritated and most of all, hurt.

"…_NOT_ CARE?" this time it came out as a snarl. I slowly turned my head towards him, but held my head low. He was back to his dark and rigged state again, with his lips curled into a snarl. I kept my arms tightly crossed against my chest, and gave a small nod that no one would be able to notice…but he did.

"Leah…do you have any idea how I worry about you? Do you have ANY idea how I much I think about, or CARE ABOUT YOU?"

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it…" I scoffed.

"Do you know how much I think about your safety? How much I want to be around you rather than doing my duties? How much I wish my life was easier?" He growled, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Don't we all?" I huffed again.

"How could you think I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU?"

"Then tell me, Jacob because I SURE AS HELL DON'T GET THAT IMPRESSION!"

"I fucking care about you MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE"

"Well, that's a nice lie"

"It's NOT a lie"

"What do I MATTER TO YOU?"

"EVERYTHING!"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?"

"Because it's true!"

"Then how come I can't believe you?"

"Because YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"

"Understand WHAT?"

"THAT I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"

Ever had that feeling as if the breath had just been knocked out your whole body and all you were filled with was this draining feeling in the pit of your stomach? Ever had the feeling that your throat had lost all of its moisture and your eyes might just pop out of your head? Have you ever had it happen 10 times in a row? I have.

I heard him let out a cracked sigh before, slowly trying to relax his body. My mouth had automatically dropped open, and I could feel bits of broken hail enter my gaping mouth. He didn't…just…say…that?

"I mean…I don't know…" he exhaled, in annoyance, running his hand through his hair. My mouth still didn't close.

"…I don't know…I don't know if it's in love or just…love…" He dropped his hand in frustration, taking in a deep breath. I was able then to gain control of my mouth again, and shake myself out of my little trance.

"Lately, I've just been…so confused…so damn confused, that I don't even know what I'm doing or what I'm thinking"

I stood quiet, as my heart started beat, slowly getting louder and harder.

"These thoughts…these feelings…they just don't add up. I mean, like…I don't know if I should have them…or if I'm '_allowed_' to have them, I just don't know"

…_dak_, my heart went.

"At first, it seemed like a small thing. A crush like thing but…is that even alright? How can I have these…? But it just…seemed to…grow. Stronger…"

_Dak,_ it went again.

"The protectiveness towards you, the constant need to see you, see if you're alright, if you're…happy, it made me feel happy; made me feel safe. I thought it was because of our alpha-beta bond, or as friends, or…maybe…something more?"

_Dak dak_, it started to beat faster…and a bit harder.

"I got scared…Because of you and…that…_that_ guy, yesterday, I couldn't control myself. It scared me how I felt, what I felt like doing to _him_, what I felt towards _you_…"

_Dak Dak dak_, faster…stronger.

"I've experienced something like this before…and I didn't think I'll ever _EVER_ experience it again…now. I don't know…"

_Dak Dak Dak dak_

"It wasn't protectiveness, yesterday…it was a green monster. And that fact scared me. That I could feel like that for someone else, rather than…" he took in a deep breath.

_DAK DAK Dak Dak Dak_

"I'm kidding myself right? That I'm looking at someone…at _you_, that way? My mind is a haze. I don't know what I'm saying or what I'll do, will do any good, but…I need to understand…I just…" he took another deep breath, dragging his palms down his confused face.

_DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK_

"I don't know how this all makes sense because it doesn't. It's…This is… supposed to feel wrong, very wrong… but…but…"

I was right in front of him suddenly, looking at him, almost like I was searching for that answer. The storm was getting heavier and colder but that didn't faze either of us. I just stood there, only a few inches apart, staring at this man who could possibly have mixed feelings…for me, if that's possible. As for me…I didn't know what I thought at the moment, but I could feel that casing that I made to block Jacob away from my heart, slowly crack.

"But what, Jake? What is it? What do you feel _right now_?" I whispered to him, holding the sides of his face, making him to look at me directly in the eye. "What is it that you're feeling, right this moment, _with me_? How does _it_ feel?"

His dazed eyes met mine, and I held onto that gaze. I kept holding till he would give me an answer. What was his answer going to be? What was he thinking right this moment?

All of a sudden, a force was exerted onto my lips, giving me the answer he had. My hands tightened on his face, and my lips responded, only for a second to read the answer before the force disappeared. Jacob's head was held down, as I took in a small breath, and I could feel his hair dangle against my forehead.

That one force knocked down all my walls, that I made to block him out from that one place I banned him from returning. I was shocked beyond doubt, but that answer held me to my rightful place. That one answer knocked days that Sam tried to build a palace there, or that one amazing experience that Aaron made me discover. The force was to bring disaster, but it was one beautiful disaster.

I felt Jacob sigh against my face, still head down. I slipped my hands down to his shoulders, as they slowly started to relax.

"_Right_…wrong…but it felt _right_…" those words seeped itself out of his lips, penetrating my insides, making them twist and turn, while my heart felt like it was going to just burst out. I slowly brought my face closer to him, trying to formulate some words.

"… What _now_?"

His eyes met mine again, reading those exact thoughts that his were saying. His dark orbs were filled with need, confusion, passion and desires. I desired for him too.

No one knew who initiated it but the next thing I know, is that our lips were dancing together again, as his arms snaked themselves around my waist, riding up my thighs, while my arms were wrapped around his neck. He gained access and I let out a small moan of pleasure. My hands trailed itself into his hair, clenching and messing it up while his hands started to play with the hem of my jersey before making circles around my bare back.

Our tongues nicely danced while we simply melted into each others' arms; we were in sync. It was like we were missing pieces of a puzzle and we just found our missing half. It was amazing how his hands were able to perfectly hold my body while my arms could journey all around his fine body. I felt his body stiffen for a minute before he continued. We both held onto each other, as a way of holding on to the moment.

_I know you've suffered__  
__But I don't want you to hide__  
__It's cold and loveless__  
__I won't let you be denied_

I pulled away from his lips, to take a breath, and started to kiss his jaw line, down to his neck, and he let out a blissful sigh. His hand slowly trailed down my body, sliding down my back till his hand reached the behind of my left knee. Abruptly he pulled my leg up and wrapped it around his waist. Pulling away from his neck, I looked him, understanding what he was trying to do, and hopped up, wrapping my other leg around his waist as well. I held firmly onto his shoulder, while he held onto to my body, perfectly, pulling my lips to meet his again. His body tensed up a bit, letting out a small groan but never letting go of me.

It was an amazing feeling. His lips were the right amount of soft, he knew how he tongue moved and he could be dominating and passionate, but at the same time, not sloppy and hurtful.

_Soothing__  
__I'll make you feel pure__  
__Trust me__  
__You can be sure_

I felt my back collide with the bedroom door as he tried to navigate himself inside. The door pushed open and he made his way to the giant bed. Releasing his hold on me, I sunk into the soft bed, before I saw Jacob's figure tower over me, meeting his luscious lips again. He didn't exert much of his weight on me, but somehow was able to sink into me as I brought my body to melt into his, as much as I could. My legs wrapped themselves around his torso, tightening around his damp jeans.

The heat around was undeniable. And it was not only because we were both wolves.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart__  
__I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask__  
__I want to exorcise the demons from your past__  
__I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

Letting out a sort of growl, I felt his hands slither down my own before he got a hold of my wrists and then pinned them over my head. He looked at me with those eyes, while I yearned for him to be a little more closer. His face sunk down, hungrily kissing my lips which I responded to, as we both let out idyllic groans. His body sunk into mine, his grip on my wrists became tighter as he pulled away from my lips, feathering them with his own, before he started to explore my entire face.

_You trick your lovers__  
__That you're wicked and divine__  
__You may be a sinner__  
__But your innocence is mine_

His lips trailed along my jaw line, when he suddenly tensed again, letting out a sort of grunt before shaking it off; it got me curious as to what was wrong but he shook it off and went on. His lips were on my throat before settling by the nap of my collarbone and neck, letting his tongue move along with his lips. I was in heaven, letting out another sigh, feeling myself feel sensations that I never thought I would feel again, or to this extent. I ripped my arms away from his grip, grabbing hold of his gorgeous face and pulled him to meet mine.

He responded just as eager as mine, as my fingers dug into the back of his neck and his back, which he let out an almost erotic growl. One of his hands went down to one of left leg that was around his waist. He tensed again, placing his hand on my knee, stabilizing the both of us, but his lips didn't move away.

_Please me__  
__Show me how it's done__  
__Tease me__  
__You are the one_

From my knee, his hand slowly started to slide down my thigh, slithering under my jersey, feeling the waistband of my tiny boy shorts…

Our faces pulled away, just a centimeter apart. I could feel his hot breath against my burning face. He just looked at my brown eyes, speaking to them. My eyes fluttered a bit before my hand came up to the side of his face, gently stroking it. I let out a sigh against his lips, and gave him a tiny nod, reassuring him about my definite answer.

He tensed again, and I could see a bit of panic and twinge flash on his face before his features slowly started to settle into comfort and care composure. His eyes started to flutter, moving focus from my eyes to my entire face. He brought his lips to meet mine again; except this time, it was sweet and tender, as I felt myself feel more open.

…I let out a soft half gasp and half sigh as I felt a surging heat pierce through me, opening myself to a feeling that had suddenly overcome me.

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart__  
__I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask__  
__I want to exorcise the demons from your past__  
__I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

* * *

…**Hi.**

**This is gonna be a long author's note. I know there isn't really a good answer as to why I haven't posted into a time . I'm sorry. You could say I was in hiatus. I didn't realize it had been soo long until a reviewer mentioned that I hadn't posted since September. SEPTEMBER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That totally knocked the air out of me O_o man, it's almost been a whole year cause September is like 3 months away *dies*. You have no idea how much I hate myself right now D: I'm soo sorry, sorry, sorry! I promised a lot but I never fulfill them in time ): I should die in a hole. The truth is that, I've been soo de-motivated to write D: I KNOW, IT SUCKS. But I remember how much I loved the feeling when you guys would review and how happy I got so I couldn't let you down.**

_**Everything is being a bitch at the moment since people think that the week before vacation they should stuff my throat with assignments.**__**Plus, I don't have a beta to 'duck' on **_**. But I promised myself that I would not leave this story incomplete and somehow I will finish it . besides my de-motivation and lack of ideas, and a teeny loss in the storyline!**

**I know I said that I would write my review on the Eclipse movie but honestly, I can't be fucked. I mean, I've kind of been having a loveHATE relationship with Twilight since the very beginning but writing Fanfiction is a whole different awesome thing ;P so yeah.**

**I have had so many projects that's been on hold ): which im sorry about. Check my profile for updates since I'm the type that likes to update my profile. I have the last chapter of my story 'Fading Shadow' that needs to be done, and I'll think if I still want to start the new story I was thinking of doing after FS. I have like 2 twilight oneshots, and a possible sequel to my Gale/Peeta oneshot and I've been book hunting a lot so lots of inspirations for other books like maybe HushHush or Blue Bloods. If you guys have some good book recommendations, because I'm going on a book rampage, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!**

**'Undisclosed Desires' is one of my favorite Muse songs ever. I effing love Muse^^ and I felt it was right for this chapter.**

**Okay, since this is my second decade chapter, I would like to dedicate some shout outs to my reviewers and some chosen ones that I'd like to comment on (:**

**First of all is **_**Kei Kat Jones**_**: You are amazing ;P I loooove reading your reviews cause they are damn hilarious and just LOVE. Your stories are incredible as well (yes, I have read you stories, duuuuh). It's soo awesome to find another Fanfiction writer that has almost the same mindset as I do ;) I'm sorry I couldn't write a lemon for this chapter D: you're better at this stuff than I am ;) I hope you stick around till the end since you have been reviewing since the beginning. I literally wait for you to review; so don't stop reviewing /3**

**Next**_**, lovergyul**_**: You really make me feel like a superstar since you actually send me personal msgs to know when I'm going to be done with my chapters ;P It's awesome to know that someone is soo keen to reading my stories (: you're one of the reasons that I want to keep writing my fanfics.**

**Next, **_**ItsCuzOfTheFame**_**: first off, why did you change your name to **_**'RollingTheStones'**_**? Geez, pick a name already ;P JK. You have also been with me since the beginning of my Fanfiction days and that is just great and not only for this story. Your reviews and support are really appreciated (x**

**Next two, **_**Little Girlie Wolf**_** and **_**Blackwater Crazzi**_**: your reviews are just simple and fun to read so keep them coming, please^^ **

**And then there is, **_**LaPush Princess13**_**: one reason why I wanted to give a shout out to her was because I was going through some profiles and I came across hers and I saw her list of favorite stories that she likes to read and recommend and review and I saw 'Morning Dew' there. I wasn't sure it was mine until I saw that I was also in her 'Favorite stories' list. I don't know why but that made SOO HAPPY! I remember that I was having such a shit day then and that just made me day (: so thank you! (Yes, I get happy by these small things ;P)**

**Of course, I'm not forgetting the rest of you that have reviewed, favorite and alerted my story so thank you: **

_**LM3795**__** , **__**hilja**__**, **__**brankel1**__**, **__**AbiiThePrat**__**, **__**Jada91**__** , **__**Misa87**__**, **__**brezzybrez**__**, **__**hpfan27**__**jacobblackismineduh**__** , **__**Samlanova**__**, **__**ari11990**__** , **__**mysteree101**__**, **__**Miwokgirl101**__**, **__**maying38**__**, **__**BellaD**__** , **__**jarcielle36**__**, **__**renesmee100**__**, **__**h8onme.x**__**, **__**vattenkanna**__** , **__**milets**__**, **__**XBlackRose77X**__** , **__**WotcherLizzieGinny**__**, **__**YoGurlB**__**, **__**.**__** , **__**koodarae**__**, **__**mehr03**__**, **__**poopsi17**__**, **__**guitargirl94**__**, **__**xoxolynzy28**__** , **__**She-Wolf Heiress**__**, **__**lachicarebelde22**__** , **__**EverleighXOXO**__** , **__**, **__**Bouncerok**__**, **__**Mariaxxx**__**, **__**sentinel10**__** and **__**Dark Latinas**__**. **_

**(These are reviewers since Chapter 10 ['Nothing, yet Everything']) If you want to be on my next thank you list, youknowwhattodo. REVIEW (: And I will reply and hopefully post sooner.**

**Sorry again xx**


	23. Sweet Dream or Beautiful Nightmare? I

**Jacob Black**

I slammed the door to the house as I pulled my jacket over my shoulder. Blowing out my lips, I strode towards the woods. I made sure I didn't wake up dad or Rachel or Paul when I left and even when I snuck in the house early in the morning to collect a fresh pair of clothes. This way questions would be avoided by them at least. My head won't stop interrogating me which is really giving me a headache. I wish I had an answer to what happened yesterday, last night but…I don't know if I would like to answer it, frankly.

It wasn't as if last night was a blur to me. Oh no, it was _way _too clear for me. So clear that it would make my stomach sink and make one of my heartstrings tug hardly. Last night was a night I never _ever_ thought would happen. _Ever_.

But it did. You'd think I would stop getting surprised as to what my future holds for me but no way in hell am I used to this shit. I can't seem to stop surprising myself can I?

Words from last night swirled in my head. Things I said, things I heard, things I thought. They all came back to one thing.

_Leah._

Oh god, Leah. Who would have ever thought? Last night with Leah…I could feel her body mend against mine, her hands trailing all over my abdomen. Her breath, hot against my neck and face, her heart beating faster against my chest and her sighs lingering in the air…

God, it made something fall inside of me. But I knew I couldn't deny it anymore. I think I had denied it for too long…that is _definitely_ something I feel for Leah. And it's strong, _really_ strong.

Whatever it was, it made me feel a pain I didn't feel before, it made me want her more, it made me feel guilty, it made me yearn and it also made me sneak out of her house, too shocked with what I was feeling.

Yes, as lame as it was, I did run away from Leah's house. It felt like it was the smart thing I could do at the moment. And it was, since I somehow emptied out the contents in my stomach in a hollow of a tree. I don't know why, I wasn't sick or anything, but I felt something was hurting and I just wanted to get it out.

This has never happened to me before. Not with Bella, even. I've never faced this sort of confusion, I've never faced this sort of pain or guilt or scenario before and it was pretty unsettling.

I let out a sigh when I got to the treaty line, and started to strip down bare. Shaking my head, I let my body naturally allow itself to transform to my wolf. I felt the shiver crawl up my spine as my body started to quiver. My skin burst into fur and I stood on all fours. Shaking my fur, I picked up my clothes and started to run towards the other side.

I know it wasn't the best time to go there but I felt like I needed to. It was the only place I could think of that I could go to right now. I couldn't be home or the guys' places or…Leah's for that matter, so I naturally went to where I felt I was pulled to.

I was really grateful that none of the guys were on patrol right now, considering at what I'm thinking and…the images I had replaying in my head.

_Good morning, Jake_ Embry's voice greeted.

Oh shit. This can't be good. I need to keep calm and block it out.

_Embry, what are you doing here?_ I asked, a bit surprised.

_I woke up a bit too early for my patrol so I decided to go for a run. How come you're here?_ He questioned.

Trying not to let the guilt and pain crush the life out of me.

_Hmm, I'm visiting Ness_ I simply said, but it sort of pained me saying her name, knowing what had happened.

_Oh okay, that's cool. Say 'hi' to her for me_ he spoke.

_Will do_ I thought. _Hey Embry, why don't you take a break? I'm anyways going to Cullens so I'll be on the lookout._

_Are you sure, man?_

_Yeah, I'm sure_ I sighed. That way I won't have him peeping into my head.

_Thanks man! Hey, have you been to Clearwaters recently?_ He asked. Oh shit.

_W-What—Wh-why? Why do you want to know?_ I stuttered. Way to stay, cool. Don't slip.

_I'm just asking, thought of going to see them today_ he shrugged. Don't slip

_I-I don't know, man…why do-don't you see?_ I suggested. Don't slip, Jacob.

_Yeah I will, I anyways need to give Leah back her IPod. She doesn't know I took it. I'm soo dead_ he whined.

Leah

That's all it took. Her tinted blue face appeared in my head as she slowly dipped down towards me. I pulled that image back before Embry to notice much.

_Whoa, what was that? What the—was that Leah?_ He asked, curious and confused. God, you idiot, Jacob.

_Phase back now, Embry!_ I commanded and he hesitated but then had to oblige. All I had to do was avoid Embry in case he tries to get snoopy.

When I finally felt my head get empty, I sighed and let out a frustrated growl, increasing my running pace. God, I can't believe it only took _that_ to make me slip. I don't know how I'm going to hide this anymore. I don't think I can…

I slowly walked towards the forest line meeting the Cullen property before phasing back and pulling on my jeans, shirt and jacket. I sighed knowing exactly who's going to be glaring at me once I entered the house. I knew that he was the only person, no matter how hard I tried to keep him out of my head, I never fucking could. How fucking annoying is that?

I opened the door, without knocking of course, looking at the surroundings only to notice an empty living room. I closed the door behind and let out a sigh of relief that _he_ wasn't around. They were used to me just coming to their house, since they gave me an open invitation to invade so I wasn't surprised to see an empty house.

Only when I heard the sound of the electric mixer and some giggles in the kitchen, did I swallow my spit and slowly make my way to the kitchen. There I saw Esme beating up batter in a bowl while Alice and Nessie applied frosting to a couple of dozen cupcakes. The smell was alluring as I made my way to face them.

"Why, hello Jacob" Esme greeted, walking towards the counter with the beater and bowl still in her arms. That's when Alice and Nessie looked up. Oh Nessie…She was wearing a light green sundress and her brown curls were held back by a hair band showing her beautiful pale face, as a smile slowly started to grow on her face. I kept forgetting how much she grows and how radiant she gets every time. A small smile slowly developed on my face as well, looking at her.

"Hello, Jacob" Alice chimed, making her way to retrieve another cupcake to decorate.

"Jacob, you're here" she exclaimed, slowly making her way to me. My natural instinct was to hold her but I couldn't…I felt a bit stuck. She jumped a bit and caught my cheek with her lips. My cheek tingled with her coldness but it made my smile grow a bit more.

"I've missed you, Jake. Where have you been?" she asked, and I don't know why but guilt rushed through me. I wish I could just run away at that moment but I couldn't.

"I-I'm sorry…I've be-been busy" I tried to come up with a better answer. Nessie could probably see right through me right now but she just smiled.

"Oh of course, your duty to your pack. I understand" she said. I let out an inaudible whimper. God, why does she have to be like this? Why does she trust me soo much? Does she know how much it hurts? Hurts that she's soo understanding but is soo unaware? It kills me. It _was_ killing me…

"Yeah…something like that" I tried to keep my smile up but it started to quiver. From the corner of my eye, I could see Alice gaze at me for a moment before going back to completing the rest of the cupcakes.

"So…hmm, do you guys need so-some help?" I tried to change the subject, rubbing my hands together.

"If you think eating it is helping, then no" Nessie giggled, tapping a bit of the frosting on my nose. I managed to return a weak smile, scoping the frosting off my nose. How did I come to deserve someone like her in my life? Why, god, why?

"Do you need help?" another voice spoke and I turned around to see Bella, standing the door as she tied her hair into a ponytail.

"Oh hey, Jake" she _genuinely_ smiled at me. She reminded a bit of the old Bella at that moment.

"Hey Bella" I smiled back as she started to walk to me and Nessie.

"What are you two doing?" Bella spoke, but almost in a teasing tone. Was she really teasing about us? I guess she got over the whole fight.

"Oh mom, nothing" Nessie rolled her eyes.

"Sure, where have you been lately, Jacob? I don't see you around lately" Bella asked, crossing her arms across her chest. I shuffled my feet a bit, trying to find the right answer but Nessie decided to answer for me instead.

"Oh mom, he has a life outside of this house" Nessie giggled, placing her hand on my arm, which made me slightly shiver but relaxed that she saved me. She then walked away to ask Esme something, leaving me and Bella alone in the conversation.

"I know but it would be nice to see my best friend around here more often" Bella slightly pouted. Wait what? _Best friend_? That stunned me. I'm still claimed as her best friend? Wow, I guess with everything we've been through, me and Bella have kind of established the fact that we would always be the best of friends. Sure, lately that hasn't shown and we never seem to see each other but I don't know…maybe she still sees her best friend in me.

"Bes—you miss me, Bella?" I asked, not completely in a joking tone but more of a curious and shocked tone. She smiled and leaned in closer and the next thing I know, her arms were wrapped around my torso…in a hug.

"Of course I do, Jacob. With everything that happened, it drew us apart and I don't want that. Not for Nessie, at least. We both miss you a lot. You have been a crucial part in my life and now you mean a lot to Nessie than you think and I respect that now" she explained, against me.

I just stared at her, stunned by her words as she slowly pulled away and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry for what happened…I never really got a chance to fully apologize but now, I think I have a clear head. Nessie needs you, like I needed you…or maybe like I still need you. I know you can make her happy the way you made me. I love you, Jacob and I know you care about Nessie too. You do don't you?" she questioned.

I merely nodded. Of course, I cared about Nessie but I was just soo flabbergasted by everything I don't think I could talk.

"That's all that matters to me. You are part of the family now" she stated, slowly moving away. Wow…after all that had happened, and now…god, why does this feel so messed up? Small rushes of guilt and pain started to travel my body. Bella trusts me with Nessie now, she wants me to be with Nessie more. I'm supposed to feel happy…right? But now…I don't even know if I can trust myself.

"Bella, could you help me with these?" Alice called out.

"Yeah sure" Bella replied and then turned to me and smiled. "Stay a bit longer?"

I nodded and Bella went to go help Alice in the pantry. I sighed, trying to think of ways to damage head. Nessie moved towards me, looking at my vacant expression.

"What happened?" she asked.

"No-Nothing…your mother just…apologized"

"That's great. It's about time" she smiled, rolling her eyes.

"Ha…y-yeah" I let out a small laugh and then gazed at Nessie as if I was looking at her for the first time.

"Did I say that…you look really pretty today, Ness" I softly told her, giving her a half hearted smile. She flickered her big brown eyes at me, as her cheeks started to flush a bit. It was really adorable that her eyes were still as big as they were when she was baby.

"Why thank you, Jacob. You cleaned up well today as well. Jeans and jacket? A reason why?" she answered.

"Just…came to see you."

"Nice to know that I bring the cleanliness out of you. I feel special" she giggled and I felt the happiness slightly drain from me. _Special_…oh Ness, if only…

Nessie slowly brought herself up, on her tip toes, to peck my cheek again as she whispered "I _always_ feel special around you anyways, Jake."

_Pang! _

If it wasn't louder the last time, it did now. Guilt rushed through me, I felt like I could barely formulate words. I looked away, trying not to show my hurt face as she walked back to the counter to help Esme. This isn't easy…why is this happening?

"Jacob, why don't you sit down and when we are done, you can have a taste" Esme suggested, adding the batter to the pan.

"Y-Ye-yeah…I'll d-do th-that" I tried to formulate a sentence before striding out of the kitchen. As I made my way to the couch, questions and guilt were congesting my head and I felt so suffocated.

Oh god, what have I done? Why is this happening? Why is one of my heartstrings tugged so hard?

I don't know how I got myself into this. I love Nessie. Yes, I care about her and she is supposed to be the centre of my universe and all that matters is supposed to be her…then why do I feel like this for Leah?

Why did I feel 'more than friends' feelings for my beta? _It's obvious that you love her, Jacob_. Is it that obvious? It's not supposed to be like this. _But it is…isn't it?_

I sunk my head into my hands as I collapsed onto the couch in the empty living room, muting all the almost muffled sounds coming from the kitchen.

What even drove me to come to the Cullen's house today? Guilt? Closure? Security? I don't know, but I felt like I was needed here. Like I was _pulled._

I feel soo exhausted of being tossed around but I felt soo pained for tossing other people around. Does Nessie deserve disloyalty from her imprint? Or does Leah deserve betrayal from her alpha?

My imprint on Nessie enables me to have changing feelings and I'm aware of that. And maybe it's something that can't be stopped but my feelings for Leah could have stopped.

I could have stopped it when it first started. Or when it first started to pick up again. I could have stopped myself from reading my old diary. I could have stopped myself for running to Leah's house on her date day. I could have left her house when she did with her date. I could have not felt challenged by _that_ guy. I could have left when _he_ left. I could have not fought with her. I could have not pressed up against her and slightly taste her luscious lips. I could have not come to her house last night. I could have left when I made my point. I could have not argued with her. I could have stopped myself from kissing her. I could have not taken her in my arms. I could have left when I felt courses of pain and maybe guilt. I could have not kissed every inch of her exposed flesh. I could have left…

But…I knew that I _couldn't._

I just couldn't. I couldn't stop myself from doing any of those things. I couldn't stop myself from feeling every inch of her. I couldn't stop myself from inhaling her scent. I couldn't stop myself from tasting her mouth. I couldn't stop myself from _loving_ her…

Shit, that night. Would be memorable for any teenage boy but is a fucking migraine for me. I mean I…with Leah Clearwater. Who would have thought? I wouldn't even believe myself. I couldn't believe myself now. I felt like I wanted to just collapse onto the floor at the moment on how lousy and confused and fucked up I was.

Until I caught _his_ scent, and knew that he _knew_ now. I heard his light steps as he settled on the couch next to me, not to close so that the scent was bearable and that he wouldn't strangle me for what I had done.

"I'm not in the mood for strangling, Jacob" he answered.

"You know, don't you?" I stated, speaking into my hands.

"Yeah, I know" he spoke, but with no aggression which is what I would have suspected him to speak in. I sighed, dragging my hands off my face and resting them on my knees as I gazed ahead and didn't dare to look at Edward.

"I...I do-don't kno-know how _it_ happened…I just…couldn't…" I tried to find the right words, but my head was pounding so hard, I could barely make sense. But Edward _of course_, knew what I was going to say.

"I know" he simply replied.

"And then…I see Ness and—I fe-feel so…" I continued, unable to finish the sentence.

"I know" he replied again, without even bothering to question me further.

"But wi-with _Leah_…I do-don't know but—I feel…god…" I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to wake myself up from this possible dream, or to let the heat from my face evaporate. I was waiting for Edward to yell or to scrutinize me but instead…

"I know" he said again. What the hell, man? You are aware of what I'm done then why isn't your hands wrapped around my neck yet? Geez…

"I'm not mad at you, Jacob" he let out a small laugh. "I know and I understand."

"What do you mean you 'understand'? Are you _aware_ of what Nessie is to me?" I asked him, finally looking up to meet his topaz eyes. He looked relaxed, resting his arms against his chest and having an almost considerate look on his face.

"I am well aware, Jacob…but I also know what Leah means to you as well" he replied. Does he really?

"What I feel for Leah is…strong…" I sighed, looking at my arms again.

"You love her" he merely shrugged as if it was the simplest answer in the world. Oh god, I wish.

"I don't know if I can even say that…" I softly sighed. I didn't know if I was _allowed_, as well. And all I can keep thinking is how I betrayed my imprint. How I went against everything that made me the alpha. How I went against our beliefs and path just to follow other feelings I somehow seemed to have.

"I don't think you betrayed Renesmee, Jacob" he answered.

"Of course I did. I was supposed to look after her and be with her" I groaned.

"You _still_ do look after her and you are _still_ there for her" Edward emphasized.

"But not in the way a wolf is supposed to be with his imprint"

"Everything doesn't have a fixed setting, Jacob. You still provide Renesmee with whatever an imprint needs"

"Not as much as I can"

"Well, Renesmee is happy so I don't see the problem."

"Why aren't you trying to kill me _already_?" I finally exclaimed, snapping my head at him, with my eyes narrowed. It was really starting to bug me. I mean, come on, I went with someone else while I am meant to be with your daughter. Don't I get like a punch or something? Or a bite? _Hurt me, damn it_. Why don't you want me to hurt me the way I want to hurt myself right now?

"Because I'm not surprised" he calmly answered.

"Wh…what?" I questioned, honestly confused. He sighed and then rested his arms on his knees like I did.

"These feelings between you and Leah have been there for quite some time now, so I took a note of it. I wasn't surprised when it manifested into something more. It was bound to happen so I guess I can't be mad" he explained. These feelings have been there for a while? Does he mean my feelings for Leah? Or vice versa? The question is why didn't he do something when they first occurred? I mean, why didn't he stop me from making them stronger?

"Why would I stop you from loving someone? What power do I have to do that? I never stop you from feeling something more for someone else. Although the first time around, it was a different deal" Edward sighed. Of course he meant with Bella. Considering that he was fighting for her affection too, I guess I could let that slip.

"But Edward…last night was…" I slightly groaned, hanging my head loose. Last night was way too far and intense for my good.

"You both got caught up in those feelings and it just helped you to stop denying that there is more to you both than just a beta-alpha relationship" he stated and a grimaced a bit. "Although, I would prefer if you would refrain yourself from _projecting_ images in your head"

"Oh, sorry…" I embarrassingly replied, unaware that I was kind of having small replays of last night running through my head. Hey, it's really hard trying to keep your mind empty. First the pack member and here, it's Edward Cullen.

"But Edward…if anyone finds out, if Nessie finds, what will I do?" I whined, looking at him, helplessly. He sighed and looked at me directly at the eyes.

"That depends on you, Jacob, if you want them to know or how you are looking at this. In the end, you have to decide what is to happen. I don't think Nessie will take it hard but you need to decide whether to keep in the dark or do something about it. What is best, for you and Leah" he explained.

"Oh so what now, me and Leah come as a couple name now?" I groaned, ruffling my head. Edward let out a small chuckle.

"That depends on you, Jacob" he replied again. _I was afraid of that_.

"I don't kn-know if I can decided now, Edward…I'm just so…" I moaned, staring at my hands. I don't know if I could deal with this, or how I was going to deal with this. I mean, I love Leah but I need to be with Ness as well. Can that really work or is there only one answer to this messed up question?

"I know…" Edward gave a small smile. "Take your time, consolidate but don't make decisions or take actions that you may regret."

_Amen to that_. I don't know how long it would take me to figure this out. I first need to know how much I could possibly…_love_…Leah. _Love Leah_…wow. And the consequences, the beliefs and everything else seems to be hanging on the balance here. It seems like everything that once was is all topsy turvy at the moment and I'm holding on to the ceiling. I need to get my emotions and feelings straightened before something happens that I may regret.

Just then Nessie jogs into the living room, with a tray of cupcakes in her hand and a huge smile plastered on her face. Edward sat up straight, stretching his back against the back of the couch as Nessie stood in front of us.

"Okay, here's the first complete bath of five cupcakes. And since we made you wait, you can have the first choice, Jake" Nessie gleamed, showing me tray of colorful cupcakes. Just looking at her face, made me feel tiny twinges of guilt and a string tugging. I would never ever want to hurt Nessie…did I hurt her by doing this?

"They look lovely, Renesmee" Edward smiled, glancing at me, possibly reading my thoughts at the same time.

"Thanks dad, I decorated them myself and Jacob, you have the first pick" Nessie said, sticking the tray out at me. I snapped out of thoughts and gazed at the different cupcakes. All the five cupcakes had almost the same drawings on them; an icing drawing of a wolf. The wolves were of different colors and different postures. The wolves were a replica of my pack.

"I think you probably guessed what I was going for. So pick your favorite designed wolf to eat" Nessie spoke. I looked at her and then kindly picked the cupcake with the wolf that looked like it was running, with its fur iced grey.

"Oh nice choice, it's one of my favorites even though my drawing is very amateur. It's of Leah" Nessie gleamed and I felt my heart jump a bit. _Damn my subconscious mind_. I looked at the cupcake and admired the grey wolf running, almost as if she was free. I let out a small half hearted sigh and I could almost feel Edward's gaze on me. Yeah, yeah…I'm feeling pathetic and soo screwed. I _so_ need to get my emotions and feelings in check. Shaking out of my thoughts, I gazed up at my imprint with a sort of smile on my face.

"They look really amazing, Ness. You are really talented" I spoke.

"Aww, you're just saying that" Nessie blushed a bit and I let out a chuckle at her childlessness. It was cute.

"Can I ask what's the occasion? Bake sale or just bored?" I asked, slowly peeling of the cupcake paper making sure not to damage the wolf as I slowly brought it to my mouth.

"No silly. I told you the reason before, I can't believe you forgot" Nessie giggled, gripping onto her tray.

"Forgot what?" I raised my eyebrow, about to taste the sweet icing of _my_ cupcake.

"Oh Jacob, _Nahuel_'s arriving today!" Nessie gleamed, almost giving a small jump.

My body stiffened and I felt my grip on the cupcake tighten which caused the cupcake to crumble slightly into my hand. A growl surged into my chest and a string tugged a little bit harder, warning me. Edward switched his gaze from Nessie to me. A similar feeling that I felt not soo long ago traveled through me, like little trails. Nessie was oblivious to my state but Edward kept his gaze on me as a certain feeling went through me. A feeling of slight annoyance and…something else that has _recently_ become familiar to me…

I _SO_ did not need this right now.

* * *

**Hello world! Yeah, I updated a lot earlier than my last chapter so WOOHOO for that xD I actually finished this chapter in **_**a day**_** but of course, I kind of stalled to write this chapter which isn't cool cause I could have finished more chapters but what can you do when you have shit loads of work and you are demotivated and easily distracted? D: **

**So yeah, my progression with Morning Dew has been, well…sort of **_**off,**_** if you haven't noticed. I guess my distractions and my slight loss in plot may be contributing to it. I'm soo sorry if my story is starting to sound 'WTF?' or '…what is wrong with this chick?' ): I'm trying to get the storyline right in my head. **_**I mean, I have a definite beginning and end but a jumbled up body -.-**_** So APOLOGIES!**

**This and the next chapter are kind of part of one chapter. Like I did with the chapter '**_**There By Your Side'**_** with two parts. So this is the first part. And then 21****st**** Chapter, technically. **

**I'm also working on my last chapter of Fading Shadow, as well as some one-shots and the next chapter to this story. So CHECK MY PROFILE FOR NEW UPDATES! Cause I'm the type of person to update! I have a lot of ideas of a next story playing in my head, but I'm not sure if I should put them to action just yet or…**_**ever**_** =/**

**REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. AND I WILL LOVE YOU :D**

**Favorite, Story Alert and pass on the story if you think you have friends who might love this type of stuff. And THANK YOU FOR READING AND WASTING YOU TIME XD**


	24. Sweet Dream or Beautiful Nightmare? II

**Leah Clearwater**

_The heat surrounding me engulfed me into a state that made me feel like everything was on standstill…except for this moment. Sighs and moans choked itself out of my throat, as I was overwhelmed by this power, this feeling that I hadn't encountered in a long time. Although it felt a lot stronger, vivid and enticing…_

_I felt my body mold against another, as my hands travelled and my head rolled back onto the pillow that laid below me. I felt an even hotter breath against the nap of my neck and my eyes slowly fluttered close. Even though I couldn't see, I could feel the weight slowly lessen and felt small tendrils of hair, brush against my forehead. A small sigh blew itself across my numb lips which caused my chest and my whole body to clinch as it reacted to that blissful moan…_

"_Leah…"_

I felt my hands tighten its grip on the blanket as the daylight shone brightly across the half of my face that wasn't buried into my pillow. It took me a while and a couple of blinks to recollect that it was morning in my mom's old bedroom. Slowly lifting my head off the pillow, another recollection hit me…of last night.

I jolted myself up into a sitting position, my body still buried in the sheets. I quickly wrapped my arms around my upper torso so that my body wouldn't be exposed. Yes, I suddenly became aware that I was actually naked under the sheets. But I guess it wouldn't be a huge surprise since I barely wear any clothes to bed. I looked to my side and saw that the bed sheet on the other side of me, was slightly crumpled and bare, with no blanket covering the area. Slowly I leaned and brushed my finger tips onto the mattress and felt small waves of heat against my fingertips.

_Is it possible? Last night…was real?_

Slowly bring my fingertips to my lips, I felt the heat rush against them as well as its roughness and numbness. I couldn't believe I even asked myself that question even though I was completely aware of what happened…last night…with Jacob.

Jacob…fricking Black.

I wanted to throw myself into my pillow, suffocating in my own screams of a combination between rage, confusion, annoyance, worry and need. Instead, I slowly dropped my feet to the floor and tried to stabilize myself until I was surrounded by the cool white tiles of the bathroom. Pushing the shower curtain to the side and jumping into the tub, my hands twisted the knobs of the shower, releasing its hold over the lukewarm water and letting it fall down to my bare body. I let out a long sigh, tilting my head back, drowning my face in the feeling of falling water. I felt the water wash away the tension of every muscle in my body.

Small memoirs of last night attacked me; the feeling of his body, the taste of his lips, his smell, his drowning eyes…

I caught hold of the shower curtain in order to stabilize myself and I planted my feet onto the floor of the tub as water rushed between my toes.

Stepping out of the tub and wrapping a towel around my drenched body, I whipped the steam off the mirror and stared at the girl staring at me. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

Sighing, I slowly changed, dragging the fabric over my body and feeling as if I hadn't had this feeling in a while. I looked back at the mirror, ruffling my hair and straightening my jersey so it slug right on my shoulders.

_Okay, I shall not think about this right now. Just go out and have breakfast_ I told myself, walking out of the room, only to be greeted by Seth hunched over the counter scooping up fruit loops into his mouth. I could feel my body tense up immediately at the sight of my brother. When the hell did get home? _Holy shit, HOLY SHIT! What is he-calm down...relax._

Taking a deep breath, I tried to get his attention by clearing my throat but almost came out as a frog croak. Seth got startled and his head snapped at me, with milk drooling down his chin. I didn't know if I should burst out laughing or yelp.

"Oh! It's you, Leah" Seth said, wiping the drool of his chin and took his cereal bowl in his hands.

"Yeah, well…who else?" I shrugged, crossing my arms across my chest. Why is he acting so jumpy? I'm the one that pretty much has a red siren on my head.

"Oh…no one, I just thought you went out or something" he shrugged, setting the bowl down on the table. "Did anyone come?"

Oh shit, what should I say?

"Hmm, no not really…" I unconvincing said.

"Oh? Cause the door was kind of open and there was rain inside"

"...oh right, that was just the storm"

"Oh right" Seth registered. Thank god Seth doesn't need that much convincing.

"So how was last night…at Quil's? I asked, changing the topic.

"Oh it was fun and Brady and Collin came too. I invited Jenna over for a bit because I wanted her to meet the guys" Seth explained, taking another bite out of the bowl.

"Oh, what did she think of them?" I moved to the table.

"I think she liked them, especially Brady. They talked a lot" Seth grinned.

"Well, that's good"

"Yeah, now she can hang out the guys too which is awesome" Seth smiled.

"So things are going good with her?"

"Yeah, they really are" Seth smiled even wider. It was nice to see him happy and not panicking and screwing everything over…like me.

"So how was your night? I bet it was fun" Seth asked. I felt my freeze and my eyes widened. What did he just say? Does he—no, he can't.

"Hmm…wh-what do you mean?" somehow Seth was unable to sense my stance because he just seemed normal.

"I mean, having the house to yourself. You always wanted alone time away from the guys" Seth stated. I let out a huge sigh of relief. So that's what he meant. Well, wasn't really alone time…god, I wish it was alone time. It would have been a lot safer battling and hitting my head with those thoughts than let what happened last night.

"O-oh, it was o-okay, I guess" I answered. "So…what's the plan for today?"

Before Seth could answer, his phone started to ring. Excusing himself, he walked to the living to answer the phone. I sighed again, moving towards his cereal bowl and taking a bite. That was close, too close actually. I don't know what to make of last night. Should I regret it or should I treasure it? I can't think right.

All I keep thinking is about…Jacob. What's going to happen to him? What's on his mind? Is he having the same doubts as me? Of course he is, hence him not being here this morning. I can't be surprised, since I probably would have done the same thing. I'll have to face him some time soon, but what will I say? I don't know what to say or do or even feel? I'm wondering if what happened last night impacted him the same it impacted me? Are we on the same page? How can I ask that?

I let out a small whine and took another mouthful of cereal, just when Seth walked into the kitchen, closing his phone.

"Looks like we have to go, sis" Seth said, taking the bowl and dumping it in the sink.

"Why? What's going on?" I asked, wiping my mouth and following Seth to the door.

"We need to go to Cullens. Nahuel is coming to town" Seth said, opening the door and walking out to my car.

_Oh fuck my life_.

* * *

I really don't know if I should be here. I mean, sure all of the pack is here, but is it necessary that I be here? I mean, this isn't about the Cullens, for the first time ever, it's about one, actually two, maybe three, or four….okay, yeah, it's about them. It's almost like I could sense them looking into my soul. God, this never stops getting creepy.

I stood next to Seth in the living while Quil and Embry, lounged on the couch with Emmett, Jasper and Alice. Rosalie and Esme were in the kitchen while Bella offering snacks to the guys. It's kind of off seeing Bella being nice after what happened. Maybe she's trying to hard…it's getting me a bit antsy.

"Edward just drove into the driveway" Alice announced, getting off the couch and straightening her designer dress. Everyone else got up as well and Rosalie and Esme descended from the kitchen. It almost looked like we were ready to attack this kid rather than welcome him. It was weird that I didn't see Nessie or Jacob around at all. Where could they be?

Just then the doorknob turned and in entered Carlisle and Edward, followed by a teenager with glistening beige-ish skin and dark long hair. It's so weird to see leeches that actually looked like he had been out in the sun. I saw Edward's lips quiver a bit at the remark. _Shit, he's inside my head_.

"Nahuel, it's nice to see you again, dear" Esme greeted with open arms as she engulfed Nahuel in a hug. He had grown since so he literally had to bend a bit to hug Esme.

"It's nice to see you to, Mrs. Cullen" he greeted in a South American accent.

"Please, call me Esme" she pulled away and made way for the others to greet him. It's amazing how polite and gentle they really are with each other, even Bella for that matter. Rosalie, who has always been portrayed as cold, also smiled and gave him a small side hug.

His gaze moved towards me as he moved away from the Cullens and walked towards us. I didn't know how to react to him. Granted he's different and he's pretty young like Nessie, I still don't know what to do. The next thing I noticed he took hold of my hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. I didn't know if I should pull my hand away and slap him, or gaze at him with shock, or be flattered?

"It's nice to see you again, Leah" Nahuel said, looking up at me and dropping my hand down before moving his gaze to the other wolves. "All of you guys, Seth, Quil, Embry"

"Wow, I can't believe he remembers our names" Quil exclaimed. I couldn't believe it either.

"Well of course, why would I forget the names of friends?" Nahuel grinned.

"Well, it's nice to see you again, Nahuel" Seth smiled and they both shared a brotherly hug. For a hybrid, Nahuel is pretty cool.

Just then the front door closed and a beautiful young Nessie jogged into the living room. As Nahuel broke away from his hug, his eyes immediately met Nessie's. At the same time, their smiles grew so wide it almost looked like it would fall of their faces

"Renesmee" Nahuel said.

"Nahuel!" Nessie exclaimed before jogging towards him. "You came!"

They both were facing each other only a few inches apart while happiness encircled them. Wow, they really did miss each other. It was as if they didn't notice the other people in the room.

"Of course I came. Why wouldn't I come?" Nahuel stated. Nessie let out a small giggle before they both fell into a huge hug. It was almost as if I was watching a movie; I was almost waiting for a string-curette to play and petals to fall down from the skies_. I seriously need to stop watching too much television._

When they finally broke away from their hug, was when Jacob came to view. He looked as magnificent as he did…last night. His shirt clung just right onto his torso and his hair tendrils caressed his glistening forehead. His eyes however were fixed onto Nessie and Nahuel and his face was a bit crunched. I think everyone only noticed Jacob's presence after the hug. A very low growl encircled the room (but of course, everyone knew who it came from) which made Nahuel and Nessie move away from each other and move their gaze to Jacob. Nessie took a hold of Nahuel's hand and pulled him to Jacob. Even though Nahuel had grown, he didn't seem a match for Jacob.

"Jacob, you remember Nahuel right?" Nessie asked him. His gaze moved from Nahuel and then back to Nessie.

"Distinctly…" he stated, almost as if he was judging Nahuel at the same time. Everyone knew that Jacob didn't fully grow accused to Nahuel and his presence near Nessie, but it started to feel a bit uncomfortable…or maybe just for me.

"Nice to see you again, Jacob" Nahuel greeted, sticking his hand out at Jacob. Jacob gazed at Nahuel's hand for a whole minute before giving his hand for a shake. I bet everyone was holding their breath for that moment. I know how Jacob is with Nahuel, and I guess I understand that he only means well…but sometimes I get the feeling that there is another emotion behind the way he acts with Nahuel. And it was starting to make me feel a bit…what am I saying? I should just shake it off.

"Sorry I couldn't pick you up at the airport, Nahuel. I really wanted to, but I needed to hunt" Nessie explained to Nahuel. This whole time Jacob was just leering Nahuel.

"Oh it's fine, I need to go hunting some time later anyways. Maybe we can go hunting together" Nahuel offered, with a charming smile.

Before Nessie could agree, Jacob's arm extended around Nessie's waist and pulled her towards him. Almost…territorial? Nessie and Nahuel looked up at Jacob, with a mixture of emotions.

"She just went, so I don't think she needs to go again" Jacob stated, trying to act nonchalant but couldn't hide the snarkness behind it. Most of the people including Nessie were kind of confused with how Jacob had suddenly grown so dominating. I mean sure he doesn't like the kid, but what is up with that? I bit my lip a bit harder.

"Jacob…" Nessie crunched her eyebrows, almost taken back by his attitude. Jacob looked at Nessie and his expression slowly softened.

"I'm sorry, Nessie…I didn't mean for it to come off that way" he apologized, almost for the sake of Nessie though. I felt a small twinge of pain run through me. I shouldn't feel like this. I know what he's going through. This is normal for him…then why do I feel a bit…hurt? I shouldn't.

"Fine…" Nessie sighed, and moved away from Jacob. "Come on into the kitchen, I made cupcakes."

She led Nahuel into the kitchen while everyone else followed except Jacob, Edward, Rosalie, Embry, Jasper and myself. I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him and saw a look of perplexity on his face.

"I'm fine, Jasper" I sighed. He looked at me again before walking into the kitchen with others. I watched Rosalie walk up to Jacob and it looked like a small riff was about to happen.

"Behave, dog" Rosalie snarled at him. Jacob narrowed his eyes at Rosalie.

"First, I don't take orders from you, Blondie. And second, she's _my_ imprint"

"Well, doesn't _this _make you the dog of the year?" The sarcasm dripped from her mouth. "Let her be happy. Don't ruin it"

"I am, okay? I'm not going to ruin anything for Nessie, okay?" Jacob replied, almost getting impatient. There was a small pause. It was almost like they were aware that I was the in room, in the corner or that Edward and Embry were whispering at the other corner.

"…she isn't the only one I am talking about" Rosalie huffed almost under her breath, before she walked away without any further explanation. I watched Jacob let out a sigh and rub his face as he took a few steps forward before he caught me. He froze for a minute before dropping his hands down to the sides. Oh shit, I really should have left. Why did I stay? I tried to say something but nothing seemed to come out. The only thing that came out was…

"…Hey…"

He looked at me, without any expression and it almost seemed like he wanted to reply with a 'hey' too but he just couldn't. His gaze moved to the kitchen and then back to me, expect it changed to a look of pain, shadowed by worry. We both knew what happened but now, we don't know what's going to happen. How could we react to something like this? He slowly kept moving his gaze from the kitchen to me, softly biting his lip. He seems to be contemplating. I mean, we are at the Cullen's house with our pack, a hybrid, leeches, which one happened to be Jacob's ex-love and another being his imprint. Could I have picked a worse timing?

"Leah?" I felt someone hold my shoulder from behind. I looked over to see Embry. Edward was slowly strolling down the living room.

"Hey, you coming? Embry asked, indicating to the kitchen. No, I couldn't handle it. I would feel so suffocated and not by the smell. This seems too much.

"…No..n-no, I…I ha-have to go home…" I choked a bit. Embry looked at me before nodding his head and walking towards the kitchen. I looked at Edward and Jacob who were both looking at me with the same expression. I shook myself a bit and hastily made by way to the door, but Jacob caught me on the way out.

"L-Leah…" he started, as he caught hold of my shoulder. _God, why does he say my name like that?_ I couldn't look at his face for some reason. I just glanced at his hand.

"Just…t-tell Seth, I've g-gone home…" I said and I moved away from his grasp but he caught me again. And again called my name…

"Leah…let me...I do-don't…las-last nigh—" he stuttered but I couldn't let him finish that sentence. I finally looked at him in the eyes. His eyes were filled with worry and guilt but I knew my eyes were giving away every emotion I was feeling at that moment; confusion, pain, worry, regret, guilt…loss.

"I don't know…Jacob, I do-don't know…Just…let go" I quivered towards the last two words. I saw his face crunch up with pain and before he could say anything more, I pulled myself away from him and stormed out of the house. I could sense that he was still standing by the door but I didn't look back. I didn't want to look back.

What has happened? How did it become like this? Why have I thrown myself into this mess? This wasn't meant to happen…but it did. And now, I don't know what to do, what to think. Me and Jacob are on different pages…did we want the same thing? Was it my hypocrisy that made this happen? I knew it would come to this. And what's worse is that I don't blame Jacob. I blame myself. My own fucking self. I could have stopped this. Now, I'm even more lost than ever. This was a nightmare, is a nightmare and will be a nightmare that would keep haunting me in my dreams. I can't escape what I've gotten myself into.

All I can do is fade away, just stay away from him. I messed up the way of life, Jacob's life, just for my own selfish reasons. I tainted him with something that could never be his; my love.

* * *

**Hello, world. I am alive! Well, till now at least.**

**So sorry for the late update. I know, you guys are tired of my sorrys but…SORRY! This chapter has been on hold for…a REALLY long time, I just don't remember since when. I have shit loads of work which is not even funny that I'm literally trying to scavenge for time to write this fanfic. All my other fanfic has been on hold as well, so you see it's not only for you guys. **

**Well, here it is. And I'm sorry if its crappy. Like I mentioned before, my storyline is a bit all over the place. And it maybe be confusion but please bear with me or try to at least get my point. Btw, I know this chapter or the previous ones are sprouting hate for Jacob but I didn't want him to come off as bad D: just VERY VERY confused stupid wolf. I mean come on, with everything that he's been through, can you blame him? **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. Not the greatest but it's done and hopefully the next one would be a bit better. Don't know when I'll be out with that, sorry =.= **

**REVIEW. LIKE. FAVORITE. ALERT. KISS. HUG. LOVE. FU—yeah, you get it. **


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